Exile
by Lord Thibault
Summary: Akkarin and Sonea have been exiled by the Guild. This is an AU story about how they coped and how their relationship developed. Written from Sonea's POV. Complete
1. The Beginning

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**The Beginning**

Sonea was tired, more tired, in fact, than she had ever been in her life before and because she was forbidden to use magic unless Akkarin gave her permission, even a little Healing was beyond her. She looked up, shading her eyes from the burning sun, _Where was he? _At first, she could see no movement amongst the tumbled rocks and boulders ahead, but as she concentrated, she could make out a figure climbing high above her. She watched for a moment, wondering where he got the energy to keep up his relentless pace.

It was three days since they had been solemnly put over the border into Sachaka to the echo of the ritual words of banishment. Their escort had maintained an icy distance for the entire journey from Imardin, only Osen had been willing to exchange a few words occasionally. She had found it all very difficult. She had never ridden a horse before, so her muscles constantly ached. _Although_, she thought ruefully, _at least I could use Healing then. _But it was the feeling of isolation which had really dampened her spirits. Even Akkarin, who should have been her ally, was cold and distant, preferring to ride on in silence.

In many ways, it seemed the Guild had not really thought about the practicalities of their exile. At one point it looked as if they would be sent into Sachaka still dressed, albeit rather raggedly, as Guild magicians. It was only when Akkarin pointed out the likely consequence of wearing robes inside Sachaka that Balkan had arranged for a set of ordinary clothing for each of them.

She looked down at her coarse shirt, worn trousers and thin cloak and wondered again whose clothes they had been. _Probably some farmer's wife_, she thought. It had been strange seeing Akkarin dressed in lay clothes. She was so used to seeing him in the High Lord's impressive robes, that it was quite a shock to see his formerly imposing presence reduced by the shabby shirt and trousers. He hadn't shaved since leaving the Guild and already a dark growth was shading his lower face. She briefly wondered about her own appearance. Luckily, her short, curly hair was easy to manage, although it felt sticky with dust when she ran her fingers through it. They hadn't found much water, so washing was practically impossible. Akkarin had frowned when she'd used a little trickle to wipe over her face. _When was that?_ she wondered. _Oh, yes, that was yesterday_.

She looked to where she'd last seen Akkarin. There was a shimmer of heat haze which made it difficult to see clearly. She scanned the rocks but could see nothing. It was typical of him, she thought angrily, to move ahead and leave her to stumble on after him. He had done the same thing before. _Was that yesterday, or the day before? _She was terrified of losing track of time and it was so easy to do in this hostile place, where one day followed on another in much the same way.

She decided to stop. _If he wonders where I am, he can come back and find me!_ she thought grumpily. She looked around and found a sandy spot between two boulders. She sat down with a groan as her muscles protested at the unaccustomed movement. She settled herself against one of the rocks and closed her eyes, to rest them from the strong light of the setting sun.

"Wake up, Sonea, there's no time for that!" Akkarin's voice was sharp with disapproval.

Sonea opened her eyes, blinking in the sudden light. He was standing over her, his face a mask of cold dislike.

"I….I'm sorry," she stuttered, "I only closed my eyes for a moment…."

She tried to scramble up quickly, but her body betrayed her and she fell back into the hollow. Akkarin bent down and grasped her arm and hauled her upright. There was no gentleness in his actions, but they were very effective. She swayed a little, but stood firm.

"I've found a cave in the rocks ahead where we can rest for the night," his tone was matter-of-fact, with no warmth in it. "There's a small entrance, but it widens out inside so we should be able to stretch out to rest properly."

She was really too weary to speak, so she merely nodded. She listened to his instructions and when he turned to set off for the cave, she followed after him like a puppy. The route led up into the tumble of rocks she had seen him climbing earlier. She couldn't prevent a groan escaping her as she scrambled after him. She hoped he hadn't heard her, but it seemed he had because he turned and held out his hand. She took it and as he pulled her upwards, she felt a small trickle of Healing ease the worst of her aches and pains.

"Thank you," she said but he ignored her gratitude, as he did most of her words. She could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times he had spoken to her, apart from issuing instructions, since leaving the Guild. At first she had been bewildered, then upset, but now she was angry.

The sun sank slowly as they climbed, taking some of the heat with it, but it was still an unpleasant sticky experience. It took them almost an hour to reach the high cave. As he'd said, once she squeezed through the narrow entrance, Sonea could see a large, sandy area where several people could comfortably stretch out. There was nothing in the cave apart from a few loose rocks scattered near the walls. She stared upwards but couldn't make out how high the roof was. She looked optimistically around, hoping to see the telltale signs of damp which might indicate some water trickling through the rock, but there was nothing to disturb the uniformly dry surface of the walls.

She unwound her cloak from around her waist where she'd tied it earlier and spread it out on the floor. She looked around for Akkarin, but he hadn't followed her into the cave. She was really past caring. She lay down on her cloak and shut her eyes.

When she opened them again, the cave had grown dark. She lit a small globe light, almost without thinking, until she remembered Akkarin's prohibition against using magic and hastily banished it. In the brief time of the light's existence, she saw she was alone. She sighed loudly. He really was very irritating. Not only did he refuse to talk to her, he didn't tell her what he was doing or where he was going either!

She had no idea how much time had passed since she had lain down on her cloak and she didn't know when Akkarin would return. There was little she could do, so she lay down again with her eyes shut. This time she couldn't fall asleep. She found herself straining to hear sounds of Akkarin's return. He might be a silent presence, but at least he was a presence. There was something about Sachaka, which sent chills down Sonea's back. She didn't know what it was, but it seemed to be threatening and dangerous. Having Akkarin with her seemed to keep the chills at bay.

_It sounds as if I miss him!_ she thought incredulously and put her hand over her mouth to prevent a stray giggle from escaping. But the more she thought about it, the truer the words became, she did miss Akkarin's presence. He was familiar, he was part of home and he helped to lessen the feeling of exile.

She heard a faint scraping movement and knew that Akkarin had come back. She stayed still on her cloak, pretending sleep. She really couldn't face another forced conversation of monosyllabic responses to her questions. She heard his footsteps grate on the sandy floor as he made his way over to where she was.

"Sonea, I have food."

She sat up and found him kneeling next to her, holding out his hand. When she looked, she could see a collection of berries and nuts, along with some stalks of a reddish-green plant.

"It's not much, but there's nothing else," as he spoke, Akkarin poured the food into her palm. "There's no water nearby, but if you suck on the stalks, you'll find moisture enough."

She mumbled her thanks as she took the small portion. The berries were starting to wither and tasted sharp and acidic. The nuts in contrast were sweet and wholesome. All too soon, the berries and nuts were gone, leaving her still hungry. She noticed that Akkarin had eaten nothing and wondered if he had given her everything he'd found. She was afraid to ask in case she discovered he really had sacrificed his own meal and she wasn't sure how she felt about that.

He was right about the stalks. As she sucked, the plant leaked a flat, dusty tasting liquid. It was unpleasant, but it did provide a trickle of moisture to ease her parched throat. It didn't take long for the stalks to be sucked dry. The cave was now almost totally dark and she could no longer discern Akkarin's outline.

"Get some sleep, I'll take the first watch." His voice came suddenly out of the gloom, making her jump.

"I can do that," she offered, "You did go and find the food."

"Go to sleep, Sonea," he said firmly and she heard him move towards the cave entrance.

She stifled an urge to argue and flung herself down on the cloak, pulling it tightly around her. One thing she had learned in her three days in Sachaka was that no matter how hot the days were, the nights were very cold indeed.

But sleep, so devoutly wished for earlier eluded her. Her mind refused to be calm and she found herself going over and over again the events of the past few days. It hardly seemed credible that a week ago, she was living in the Residence, the High Lord's Novice and secret ally in his fight against the Ichani black magicians. How had it ended here, in a bare cave, in the wastelands of Sachaka?

She found herself replaying the Hearing. She remembered her shock at finding the Guild was willing to exile Akkarin but would let her remain. She remembered her feeling of contempt for a group of Magicians who, unable or willing to kill their High Lord, had done the next best thing and exiled him to a place where his chances of survival were slim. It had only taken a moment for her to refuse her own judgement. As she made her ringing statement '_If you send High Lord Akkarin into exile, you must send me too. Then, when you come to your senses, he might still be alive and able to help you' _part of her mind was shrieking _No! No! Stay here and be safe!_

She had looked over at Akkarin, expecting to see…something, sympathy perhaps, or even gladness that he would not journey alone, but she had been shocked to see his expression of deep anger and frustration. That had been the first sign of his future relationship with her because after he had urged her to stay and she'd refused a second time, he did not speak willingly to her again.

She sighed and rolled over clutching her cloak to keep out the chill. _How long can he refuse to talk to me? _But she had no answer. She tried a few mental exercises in an effort to lull her brain to sleep but without success. After a while, she got up and, straining her eyes to find her way, crept slowly to the cave entrance. She squeezed outside, looking for Akkarin. The Eye had risen, but not being full, gave off only a weak light. She couldn't see him at first, but then saw him sitting, his back against a boulder, watching the road far below in the base of the valley. As she made her way toward him, he turned to look at her.

"What do you want?" His voice was low and she could barely hear him.

"I can't sleep, so I'll stand watch," she replied, equally quietly, although she didn't see why there would be anyone nearby to hear their conversation.

He turned back to where he had been looking, out over the valley. "I'm all right, go and rest, it will be a long, hard day tomorrow."

She stared at him in frustration. If he was trying to make her feel useless, he was succeeding. She sat down beside him and pulled at his sleeve.

"Why are you whispering?" she said angrily, "And why keep watch? There's no one here! This is a wasteland, no one lives here!"

"You heard Balkan's mental message to the Guild. He told them we had been put over the border."

She nodded, it had been a powerful message and she was sure everyone in the Guild had heard it.

"Who would hear that message, Sonea?"

_What a silly question_. "All magicians," she said, then paused. _Ichani were magicians too. _All at once she knew what Akkarin was concerned about, that the Ichani would come looking for them now they knew where they were. _Look for us to kill us or make us slaves_, she thought with a shudder.

"I see, I'm sorry, Akkarin," she said, "I understand."

"Good, now go back and rest. I'll call you when I need you."

She rose to her feet and walked back to the cave.


	2. A Few Answers

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**A Few Answers**

Sonea jerked awake. She had been dreaming, but the details of the dream faded almost instantly. All she was left with was the feeling of terror which had woken her. There were streaks of light coming from the cave entrance, casting shadows on the bare walls and floor and for a moment she couldn't think where she was.

_Akkarin never woke me_. She threw off her cloak and rushed to the entrance. Squeezing through, she looked over to where she had left him the previous evening. The place was empty. She shaded her eyes and took a look around. He was nowhere in sight. Feelings of anger and frustration boiled up inside her. _Left alone again with no idea what was happening._ It was all she could do to prevent herself bursting into tears of rage.

She went back to the cave to wait for him, as there was little else to do. She ran her fingers through her hair, getting the worst of the knots out. She examined her clothing. It was badly crumpled, covered in dust and sand. It took her only a minute to use a little magic to clean everything up and get rid of the worst of the creases. _He will never know_, she thought a little guiltily. She walked around the cave, hoping that she had missed a damp patch or two the previous evening, but to no avail. The cave was bone dry.

She heard a faint noise outside and rushed to see what it was. Pushing herself quickly through the narrow opening, she ran straight into Akkarin coming the other way. For an instant, she found herself pressed hard up against him and felt his hands reach out to halt her progress. Then he pushed her sharply away from him. Looking at him, she saw a series of expressions flash across his face. They came and went so quickly she was unable to read them, except for the last, which was his now usual cold and distant mask.

Sonea flushed to the roots of her hair. Instinctively, she had started to put her arms around him to steady herself, just before he pushed her away. For a split second, she registered the fact that she was holding a warm, firm body and a feeling of the rightness of it flooded through her, then she was stumbling as he pushed past her into the cave.

She quickly followed and found him fumbling with a makeshift pouch he'd made from part of his cloak. He pulled it free of his belt and opened it out, revealing more of the berries, nuts and stalks they had eaten before. He didn't look at her, but instead concentrated in dividing his spoils into two piles.

"Breakfast," he said, pointing at one of the small heaps. "Eat quickly, we must move on."

"No, Akkarin."

He looked up sharply and found her standing over him, staring fiercely.

"We have to talk, we can't go on like this." Sonea made sure her voice was steady, although she could feel a fluttering in her stomach.

"We don't have time, Sonea. It took longer than I'd hoped to find the food. We should have started off an hour ago."

It was the longest speech he'd made for a while, but she was determined to get things sorted out before she moved from the cave.

"Why are you so angry with me all the time?" She hoped he hadn't heard the tiny quiver in her voice. The last thing she wanted to do was to cry.

For a moment, she thought he wasn't going to answer, then he sighed and sat down cross-legged next to the food. He gestured for her to do the same and she sat opposite and they began to eat their sparse breakfast.

"I had a plan, Sonea. It had been carefully thought through, so that regardless of what happened to me, the Guild would have another black magician to help it survive an attack by the Ichani. When you refused your judgement, you ruined my plans and left the Guild helpless in the face of an enemy it has no idea how to combat." His voice was carefully neutral, but she felt the hidden anger filling him.

She started to speak, but he halted her with a gesture. "No, Sonea, you asked a question and I intend to answer it. That's the first point. The second point is that you have no idea how to survive here. I was a slave here for years. I know where to go, what to eat, where to find water. You do not. Now, instead of being able to move swiftly, I have a half-trained, disobedient novice to protect, with all the consequences that entails. You make me waste time, Sonea, time neither I nor the Guild have to waste."

Sonea's mouth felt drier than usual as acute embarrassment welled up inside her. She hadn't seen it at all. All she'd thought about was by going into exile with him she would keep him alive. Now, he had shown her just how misguided her actions had been.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I thought I was helping you…they hoped you would die here and I couldn't let that happen."

He laughed, a harsh, humourless laugh, "I'm a difficult man to kill, Sonea. I've had lots of practice surviving, especially in Sachaka. Now eat quickly, there's a long way to go."

"Can I ask you something else?" When he nodded, she went on, "Why won't you let me use magic? You do sometimes, I've seen you, but not me?"

"As I said, you are half-trained, Sonea. You know how to store power, but you haven't yet learned how to disguise it completely. When you use magic, just for a moment, the whole of your magic source is open. You are like a beacon visible for miles, just like you were this morning. I knew when you used magic and so did every other magician for miles around. We are being tracked, Sonea and we need to keep hidden. Now finish your breakfast, we must go."

As he was speaking, he got to his feet and went outside. Miserably she swallowed the last few berries. Now she knew the reasons for Akkarin's annoyance with her, she felt more useless than ever. _I should have known he had a carefully worked out plan_, she thought. _He always has. I could have been safe in Imardin, instead of out here. A prisoner of the Guild may be,, but at least, I would have been safe. _Finishing the nuts, she picked up one of the stalks and started to suck. All too soon, the moisture was gone. She looked at the three stalks left of her portion; it would be sensible to leave a couple of them for later. Copying Akkarin, she tore off a piece of her cloak to make a pouch and carefully packed two of the fattest stalks. Taking the last one, she eagerly drained it of all liquid.

_But if I were safe in Imardin, I would be out of my mind with worry about what was happening to him! _The sudden thought made her pause. _Me, worry about Akkarin? _The idea was shocking, but after a moment's reflection, she knew it was true. _I suppose living in his house for all those years, means we have some sort of connection. I've grown used to him and his rather odd ways. I think I was beginning to like him…_

She followed Akkarin out of the cave and found him standing in the shadow of the rocks staring at the road in the valley. As she came over to him, he motioned her to stand close to a large rock.

"There," he murmured, "Just moving near the road."

She looked where he pointed and could make out three figures moving cautiously. Then, out in front of them, she caught sight of an animal, moving rapidly, its head close to the ground.

"Yeel," Akkarin said, "A favourite Ichani tracking animal. We must get away from here, but without our movements being visible. Follow me."

He led her through a large area of fallen rocks and boulders. It was awkward terrain and Sonea found it difficult to keep up. Akkarin had a knack of moving rapidly, sure-footed as a goat on the uneven surface. She tried to watch where he put his feet and copied him. They climbed this way for some time, making sure they kept low against the skyline. Once she stopped to look back to see if she could see where their pursuers were, but Akkarin impatiently told her to keep up.

Most of the morning was taken up in this way. Sonea soon found herself as tired as she'd been yesterday, as if last night's sleep had done nothing to refresh her. She looked at Akkarin, moving steadily in front of her. _How does he keep going? _He had eaten the same small portion of nuts and fruits as she, but seemed to be able to draw on a reservoir of energy that she didn't possess.

The day got hotter and hotter as the sun rose high in the sky. Shade was almost non-existent and Sonea could feel the sweat trickle unpleasantly down her neck and back, something she had not experienced since becoming a magician. It reminded her of her life as a dwell, a life devoid of magic, when she simply had to accept the things life threw at her. But now she understood the reasons, she didn't dare use even the slightest trickle of magic to ease her current plight. _He should have told me!_ she thought angrily. _I'm not a child, I would have understood…. _

As she followed wearily after him, she chewed over the conversation she'd had with Akkarin. What rankled was his description of her as a half-trained and disobedient novice. Although, she had to admit to herself, she was frequently disobedient, that was how she'd got into her current mess after all, but half-trained – that really hurt. _It is only a few weeks to graduation….. _Then she stopped herself_. …only a few weeks to what would have been my graduation…_ That thought was even more painful, so she made an effort to think of something else.

It must have been almost an hour later when Akkarin indicated they could stop and rest. They had reached a flattish area, with a few straggly bushes clinging to the sandy soil. There was even a faint tinkling of water running somewhere nearby. There was a small patch of shade and Sonea walked over to it eagerly. She dropped to the ground and leant back, resting against the small tree that grew there. She knew she needed water, but she simply didn't have the energy to search for it. She closed her eyes and let out a breath in a long sigh. Just to sit in a bit of shade felt like she had won a prize.

_What's Akkarin doing? _Her mind couldn't stop thinking about him. She opened her eyes and looked around. He was squatting down close to one of the thorny bushes and was peering back the way they'd come. She looked carefully at him. He was perfectly still, his attention focussed on searching for any movement in the land below them. _I'd forgotten he was a Warrior_, she thought. _He has a Warrior's_ _ability to blend in to the landscape. _After a few minutes, he rose and came over to her.

"I'll see if I can find the water," he said. "There's no sign of our trackers for the moment, so we should be safe for a little while."

She watched him walk off. He had a Warrior's light and easy stride rather like the lithe hunting cats many nobles owned, and now that his body was not obscured by the voluminous High Lord's robes, she could see just how graceful his movements were.

She shook her head suddenly, this was no time to be staring admiringly at a man's body, especially not when the body in question belonged to Akkarin!

He returned a few minutes later, "There is a small spring over near the rocks. I suggest you have a good drink now, and then another just before we leave."

"If only the Guild had given us proper equipment," she said grumpily. "We have no knives, no bottles, nothing to help us survive."

"I think that was the point," Akkarin said, faint amusement in his tone.

"Do you think Balkan sent that loud message deliberately, so that the Ichani would know where we were?" she asked.

Akkarin was silent for a moment, "I don't know," he said eventually, "I would like to think not."

He turned to lead her to the spring and she understood he didn't want to speculate on the Guild's motives. He was right to call the spring small. The water oozed rather than bubbled out of a hollow the size of her palm and formed a small pool of clear water, no bigger than an ordinary tea plate, before trickling away. She bent down and scooped up handful after handful. It was clear and fresh, especially after the stalk liquid. She drank until she could drink no more and raised her head to find that Akkarin was sitting nearby looking at her. For some reason, she felt the warm colour rush to her face. _Why does he stare at me?_ As soon as he noticed she had noticed him, Akkarin turned his head away from her.

"I've finished," she said unnecessarily and clambered to her feet. She avoided looking at Akkarin who took her place by the water. She wandered over to the bushes, hoping against hope there would be something to eat. She found a couple of wrinkled fruits hanging from a branch and picked them eagerly. She toyed briefly with the idea of stowing both of them in her pouch, but remembering how scrupulously Akkarin had divided the food he found, she called over to him.

"Are these all right to eat?"

He wiped water from his mouth and came to examine her finds.

"Yes, they are past their best, but they can be tasty."

She bit into one. It had an unfamiliar taste, not too sweet, but not sour or bitter either. She found the fruit easy to chew and swallow and before long, it had gone. Akkarin held out his fruit.

"Here, have this one too."

"No," she said sharply, "I can't keep eating all the food. You have to keep up your strength too."

A bitter smile crossed his lips, "A slave learns to live on very little. I haven't lost the knack, Sonea. Take it and eat."

She hesitated, then took the fruit, but instead of eating it, she stowed it away in her pouch. "I'll keep it for now," she said with a smile, "You may change your mind later."

Just before they left, they took the opportunity of using some of the water to wash themselves a little. Akkarin obediently left her alone by the spring so she could strip to clean the worst of the grime away. She also managed to scrub her hair clean.

Then it was Akkarin's turn. Afterwards, both refreshed by the unexpected bath, they started off again on their endless march through the wastelands of Sachaka.


	3. Yeel

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Yeel**

Sonea was running as fast as she could over the broken ground. She was breathing heavily, her lungs working furiously to take in enough air. She could hear the animal close behind her, its claws scraping and skittering on the rocks. The sun was blazing down pitilessly and there was nowhere to hide. She paused for a second to catch her breath. She was alone, it was just her and the yeel in a race for survival. _Where is Akkarin? _The words ran round and round in her head. _Where is Akkarin?_

She ran on, fearing for her life. She could almost feel the animal's hot breath as it snapped at her ankles. She looked around hoping against hope for somewhere she could be safe, a tree to climb, a ledge, a cave, anything but it was the same rocky landscape in every direction, devoid of vegetation or any place to serve as a refuge.

Just at that moment, she felt the yeel's teeth close on her ankle and she screamed, a long, loud desperate scream. She screamed Akkarin's name as the teeth sank into her flesh and the blood ran in scarlet rivulets into the dry earth.

"Sonea, Sonea, wake up." Akkarin's voice came from a long way away and her eyes flew open.

_A dream! It was only a dream_. The realisation hit her that she was safe, that Akkarin was with her and she burst into tears. He was kneeling at her side but made no attempt to touch her. She tried to stem the flow of tears, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hands. She could feel the cold sweat running down her neck and back and couldn't suppress a shiver. After a few moments, she managed to compose herself and smile weakly at her companion.

"I'm sorry, I dreamt a yeel had caught me….."

Once he was sure she was all right, Akkarin rose smoothly to his feet and went back to where his cloak was laid out. He wrapped himself in its folds and settled down again. Sonea was annoyed with herself. Not only was she supposed to be on watch and had obviously fallen asleep, but she had disturbed Akkarin who had had very little sleep in the past few days.

She pulled the cloak tightly around her, it was thin, the sort farmers' wives wore in the summer, and did very little to keep her warm during the very cold nights. She made a determined effort to remain awake to keep watch properly. They were camped out in the open, as they had been unable to find any proper shelter and it had been almost dark before Akkarin decided they must stop for the night.

After their welcome wash at the spring, they had continued to climb for the rest of the day. Sonea began to wonder if the mountains had any tops at all as they'd been climbing continuously since leaving the border crossing. She had asked where they were headed, but Akkarin had not explained, merely saying she must follow his instructions, but she understood he thought the road unsafe for travel, hence their more difficult journey. She had no idea what his plan was. _I won't make the mistake of thinking he doesn't have a plan, again_, she thought ruefully, but he hadn't shared any information with her so she was unable to speculate.

They had found a few more fruits on a tree they passed, as well as a good supply of the stalks, so it looked as if they wouldn't go hungry or thirsty that evening. Sonea wondered if there was any other sort of food in the wastelands. She'd tried asking Akkarin, but he was back to his silent, distant self, so she was unable to find out much. She hoped his withdrawal meant he was engaged on working out one of his plans, rather than still being angry with her.

They did have one piece of luck during the long, hot afternoon. It was Sonea who spotted the remains caught up in a pile of rocks. It was the body of a traveller who had fallen, in a rock fall perhaps, and had lain there unnoticed for some time. Most of the flesh had disappeared, leaving only a few scraps of clothing and bones.

Akkarin squatted down beside the body and began to search the remains. It didn't take him long to find the leather pouch which had come to rest underneath the body of its owner. He pulled it free. Sonea could see that it was intact, the stout leather protecting its contents. She watched eagerly as Akkarin untied the leather strings and buckles. He shook the contents out on the ground. There wasn't much, a few pieces of mouldy cheese wrapped in a cloth and what looked as if it had once been some sort of hard biscuit or bread, a handful of coins, but more importantly there was a knife. It was only the sort used for eating, rather than a weapon, but at least they had something to make things a little easier.

"All we need now is something to cut," Sonea said with a smile and was rewarded by a small, crooked smile in return from her companion.

He turned back to the bones and pulled out the thin leather strap caught up in them. The traveller had obviously used it as a belt to hold the pouch. It seemed to be in reasonable condition, just a few cracks in places. Akkarin risked a little magic to clean out the pouch and repair any damage. The belt fitted snugly around his waist, the pouch hanging neatly against his hip.

"How long has he been here?" Sonea asked curiously looking down at the remains.

"It's hard to tell. Bodies can be stripped of flesh in a matter of days here," was the less than reassuring reply and Sonea could barely repress a shudder as she thought of what might cause flesh to disappear so quickly. Buoyed by their discovery, they left the bones and continued along the route Akkarin had chosen.

"I wonder what he was doing out here?" Sonea said musingly, "It's not as if it is a well-travelled route."

Akkarin, for once, seemed to be in a talkative mood.

"There's a fair bit of smuggling across the border," he said, "The Ichani have been known to trade with Kyralians."

Sonea found that bit of news rather shocking. Since the terrible war so long ago, Kyralians were used to thinking of the Sachakans as enemies, rather than trading partners.

"When I lived with the Ichani, I saw several Kyralians come to our camp at different times for trade."

Akkarin rarely volunteered any information about his time as a slave of an Ichani Master and Sonea was eager to hear more, but she knew if she tried to question him, he would refuse to say anything. So, she merely squirreled that bit of information away without making any comment.

The sun had set and it was growing dark before Akkarin decided to stop for the night. He had been looking for a place of refuge for some time, but finally had to admit they were unlikely to find one. He finally settled on a small piece of flat ground at the top of a slope they had been climbing.

As had become their usual practice, they divided up the fruit and some of the stalks collected during the day, and ate them quickly. Akkarin took the first watch and Sonea tried to get some sleep. Although her body was tired, her mind refused to cooperate as she tried to puzzle out Akkarin's plan. She wondered why he refused to tell her much of what he intended. _Perhaps it's my punishment for defying him and choosing exile! _Once that thought took hold, the refrain 'half-trained and disobedient' ran round and round in her head until she felt like screaming. By the time she had fallen asleep, it was her turn to stand watch.

She remembered getting wearily to her feet and sitting cross-legged with her cloak clutched around her. She remembered trying to stare through the darkness for any sign of movement and then the next thing she remembered was the dream. It had been so real that she could almost feel a pain in her ankle where the yeel had bitten her.

She shook herself sharply. _Concentrate on what you're supposed to be doing!_ she told herself grimly. _You can't afford another mistake. You're here to keep watch. _

It must have been half an hour later that she first heard it. A faint cry of an animal, some distance away. At first she just thought it was only normal night sounds, then it seemed to be getting closer. She strained her ears, _Which direction? _She held her breath, waiting for the sound again. _There! _She heard it more clearly this time, and it seemed to be nearer.

She crawled over to where Akkarin lay. He was soundly asleep and she hated to wake him again, but there was no choice. She could hear the animal again and it definitely was closer. She reached out to touch him but touched a shield instead. The force threw her backwards and she banged her head on an inconvenient rock, but it did rouse Akkarin.

"What's the matter, Sonea?" he asked, instantly awake.

She told him about the sounds she'd heard. He crept to where she'd been sitting and kept still, only turning his head fractionally to pick up the sounds. After a moment, he gestured to her to join him.

"Yeel," he hissed. "Keep still."

Sonea could tell that it was getting closer. She strained to discover which direction the sound was coming from, but it was too difficult. Then she noticed that Akkarin had vanished. _How does he do that?_ she thought, _I didn't hear him move_. Remembering her instructions to keep still, she sat frozen in position until a hand briefly touched her arm and she knew he'd returned.

"Two Ichani and the yeel are only short distance below us. The yeel has our scent, so we must get out of here. Stand up."

She stood as Akkarin moved in front of her. He took hold of her arms and whispered, "We must levitate, I will do it all, you hold on to me and keep still."

The next moment they moved silently upwards very quickly, then moved abruptly to the left. She could see the dark ground fall rapidly away as Akkarin moved them round a rocky outcrop. She was conscious of his closeness and couldn't prevent her mind registering the strength in his long-fingered hands, and the warmth of his body, before resolutely turning her thoughts away from such things.

Normally levitation was a fairly quick process, basically up and then down again, but this time, Akkarin continued their flight, trying to put as much distance between them and the Ichani has possible. In spite of the danger, Sonea found herself rather enjoying the experience. _It's so much better than walking_.

It was several minutes later before Sonea sensed them slowing down. She felt a tremor in the disc under their feet and looked anxiously at Akkarin. She was alarmed to see beads of sweat on his forehead. _That shouldn't happen! _The strain of levitating two people over such a long distance was beginning to tell. The ground came up beneath them rapidly. Akkarin staggered slightly as they came to rest on the surface. He looked around quickly, then pulling Sonea along with him, moved swiftly to a group of rocks. He paused, then darted to the right. She followed as he took a narrow passage in the rocks which twisted and turned until it finally led to an opening in the hillside. Without hesitating, Akkarin went through, and Sonea followed.

Once inside, Sonea could see it was a much smaller cave than the last one, but it had the same sandy floor. Like the earlier cave, there was no water or dampness, but they had a good supply of stalks, so that wasn't too much of a problem.

Akkarin sat down quickly and leant back against the wall. Sonea could see that he was significantly weakened by what he'd just done. Normally Sonea would have given him some of her power, but ever since she'd found out about her inability to shield her use, she had not attempted any magic. She didn't know what to do. It would be pointless for Akkarin to drain himself to get them away from their pursuers only for Sonea to give away their position by giving off her magic like a beacon.

She went over to him. He was sitting with his eyes shut, his face paler than usual; he looked exhausted. She reached out and touched his arm. His eyes opened immediately and he moved slightly so there was no contact between them.

"You need some of my power," Sonea said, "But I don't know how to give it to you without alerting the Ichani."

"You can't," he said bleakly. "You cannot shield and I haven't got the resources to do it for you. I must rest and wait for my power to renew itself. You get some rest too."

"What if the yeel tracks us here?"

A faint smile touched Akkarin's lips, "I've never met a yeel that can track a levitating magician through air…." His voice faded away as his eyes closed again. It was obvious how desperately tired he was. She moved a little way away from him and lay down so that she could see if he needed anything. Just before she fell asleep, she remembered how Akkarin had moved away from her when she put her hand on his arm. _Why did he do that?_ she wondered_. He held me during levitation, he pulled me towards this cave, but he avoided my touch when I went to help him. Why? _


	4. Sonea's Plan

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Sonea's Plan**

Sonea had been awake for some time, doing nothing but simply lying wrapped in her cloak, waiting. It was quite light inside the cave, so she thought it was probably mid-morning. She glanced over to where Akkarin lay; he was unmoving, just as he had been since she first opened her eyes. She was reluctant to disturb him but she remembered his comments about wasting time. She tried to remember her early lessons on the recuperative powers of magicians, but she couldn't recall a single word. _How long does it take for power to renew itself? _She knew roughly how long her own power took, but Akkarin was much stronger. _Would that make it longer?_

It was no good, she didn't know and there was no point worrying about it. She decided to leave him alone and turned her mind to what she might be able to do instead. The obvious answer was to find some more food. They had eaten everything except a few of the stalks and they both needed to eat to keep up their physical strength. She considered her options. If she woke Akkarin, he would forbid her to go out. If she went and he woke to find her gone, he would be angry. _Well, he's angry enough with me already, so adding something else to be angry about won't make any difference!_

Her mind made up, she got up quietly and left the cave. Once outside, she took stock of her surroundings. When they'd arrived, there had been no time to see anything, so she had no idea what sort of a place Akkarin had chosen. _Did he choose it, or was he at the end of his endurance?_

"Something else, I don't know," she said aloud, before remembering to keep quiet.

The area in front of her was slightly more welcoming than some of the other places they had been over the last few days. Although the ground was still very rocky, there were patches of greenery, so it looked as if there might be some edible plants in the vicinity. She began her search, bending down and brushing aside leaves and tendrils, looking for berries or perhaps some small fruits. At first, she had no luck, but the further away from the cave she went, more and more vegetation appeared.

Gradually, she began to fill her pouch with a variety of things which seemed to be edible. She didn't recognise many of them, and a decision on whether or not they were safe to eat would have to wait until Akkarin had a chance to look at them. A little further on, she found a tree covered with large oval pods. She took one and pulled it open. There was an oval nut in the centre. She vaguely remembered seeing something similar before, so she collected as many as she could fit into the pouch and set off for the cave.

By the time her pouch was full, she had wandered a long way from her starting point. She thought she'd been away for about an hour, so she wondered if Akkarin was awake. She retraced her footsteps, only missing her way a couple of times. She soon found the place where the cave was. As she stepped into the opening, an iron hand closed around her arm and pulled into the space.

"Where have you been?" Akkarin said quietly, but she could hear anger in his voice.

She tried to keep her voice light as she replied, "I went to find breakfast."

She knelt down and fumbled with her pouch, spreading it out on the ground and smiled up at him disarmingly, "I'm not sure if all these are safe to eat. What do you think?"

Akkarin peered down at the pile in front of him and began sorting through it. Some he discarded immediately, others he examined closely before deciding where to put them. After a few minutes, everything had been sorted.

"These are safe," he said indicating the smaller of the two piles. "We should eat quickly and move on."

Sonea felt aggrieved. She had ventured out alone and found a good supply of food, with no word of thanks from Akkarin, in fact, with no word of any kind apart from an instruction to eat. She didn't expect praise or a particularly warm welcome, but she thought that some recognition of her actions was called for.

"You could say thank you," she muttered as she bit into one of the oval nuts. But as soon as the words left her mouth, she was ashamed. She sounded like a spoilt child and Akkarin resented her presence enough without making it worse. And he had uncomplainingly found food for them both every day. She glanced over at him and thought she noticed a trace of amusement in his expression. She couldn't be sure, though, because he looked away as soon as her eyes met his and resumed his meal.

She studied him for a moment. He was at once both familiar and a stranger. She was so used to seeing the pale oval of his face enclosed by the black folds of his robes, that seeing him in ordinary clothing and with a beard turned him into a stranger. Yet, as she continued to look at him, she could see that the darkness of his hair combined with the fresh growth of his beard in some way replicated the hood of his robes. She doubted, though, that many Guild magicians would recognise their former High Lord these days. Somehow, she thought him diminished by all the changes.

She continued to look at him unobserved. The beard suited him, softening the planes of his face, but she really preferred him without it. The beard drew her attention to his mouth, outlined as it was by the soft dark facial hair. She hadn't really noticed before, but he had a shapely mouth, the lips clearly defined. Not too full, yet not thin. _A generous mouth_, she found herself thinking, and was filled with a sudden urge to find out how it would feel pressed up against her own.

She felt the colour rise in her cheeks and tore her eyes away from him, bending close to the diminishing pile of food to hide her blushes. She mentally castigated herself for thoughts such as these, hoping that Akkarin hadn't noticed. She risked a quick glance and saw he was seemingly engrossed in the last of the nuts, peeling them from their cases carefully and savouring the sweet kernels.

"Akkarin," she said tentatively, "If I hadn't come with you, where would you be by now?"

"I would be inside the border, making my way to Imardin," his reply was immediate.

"Without permission?" she said incredulously, "But that would risk execution if you were discovered."

He smiled, that dark, humourless smile she had seen such a lot of in recent days, "I would make every effort not to be discovered."

She stared at him, "You planned to return, despite all that's happened?"

"How can I save the Guild from here?" he replied sharply. "It was never my intention to wander round the wastelands avoiding the Ichani and let everything I've worked for be destroyed. No, I shall return to Imardin as soon as I can and wait until I am needed."

She noticed his use of the singular 'I' and not 'we' and a cold feeling began to form in her stomach.

"Now there are two of us, have your plans changed?" She kept her voice carefully neutral.

He stared at her, his face expressionless, "I shall find a safe place for you to wait until I send for you. It will have to be across the border, you wouldn't be safe here, but I'm sure I can find a suitable location, well out of the way so you won't be discovered."

Sonea felt her anger start to grow. Despite her refusing judgement so that she could go with him to help him survive, the first chance he got, he'd leave her behind and go off to fight whatever threatened the Guild all on his own. She would not, could not, allow that to happen.

"I will not leave you," she said firmly, "If you go to Imardin, then so shall I. I will not be left anywhere, safe or not."

"I am your Guardian and it's my duty to protect you. You will stay where I say you will stay until I tell you otherwise."

"I'm not your Novice any more!" she all but shouted, "And you are not the High Lord either. You can't order me to do things I don't want to do. I will not leave you, so you'd better get used to having me around."

For a moment, she thought he would lose his temper, but instead, a crooked smile crossed his lips and when he spoke, his voice was softer.

"You're absolutely right, Sonea. You are not my Novice and I am not the High Lord. We are two exiled black magicians, hunted by the Ichani and at risk of execution by the Guild. But," he paused and stared at her intently, his voice taking on a hard edge, "You are still a young, inexperienced magician and you slow me down. I told you before, I have no time to waste and the first chance I get, I will leave you somewhere safe. That is the end of the discussion."

He rose to his feet and began shaking the sand of out his cloak. Once satisfied, he ordered Sonea to stay in the cave, and disappeared through the opening. Sonea felt like creating the largest forcestrike she could and aiming it after him. _Perhaps that would knock some sense into him! Does he think I destroyed my own future in the Guild on a whim? _She began to shake her own cloak and wind it into the long, thin bundle she wore round her waist during the heat of the day. As she did so, another thought struck her, _He thinks of me as a child. _His words came back to her - young and inexperienced – and she saw herself, suddenly, through his eyes. Someone who had joined the Guild late, poorly educated with no background in magic, someone barely twenty years old and not yet qualified, someone who hadn't even chosen a Discipline. What use was she to him?

She sat down in a rush and put her head in her hands. There was nothing she could say to change his mind, she knew that. Once he'd made a decision, he would stick to it, come what may. Could she bear to be left in an out-of-the-way place while he went off into danger?

"No!" Her voice filled the cave. She would not be cast in the role of poor little inexperienced Sonea who has to be protected. Between now and when they reached the border, she had to do something to convince him of her usefulness_. He isn't the only one with a plan! _The thought was comforting. The only problem now was to discover what it was she needed to do to persuade him. Then she remembered, she was a dwell and for dwells, resourcefulness was their middle name.


	5. Understanding

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Understanding**

The sun was strong that day, perhaps the strongest they had experienced, and they soon found travelling through land with little in the way of shade particularly difficult. Both were sweating constantly after only a few minutes and Sonea, who loved baths and feeling fresh and clean, soon began to be conscious of the sour smell wafting from her clothing.

When Akkarin had returned to the cave earlier that morning, he broke the news that the two Ichani and the yeel were tracking towards them and were not too far behind. Sonea was rather taken aback by this news because she'd thought that levitation would have prevented anyone from picking up their trail easily and said as much.

"They know roughly the direction we're going, so they are simply following, relying on the yeel to find our scent. Now, we have to move and move quickly."

As she had come to expect, Akkarin's explanation was short on detail, but later, as she scrambled after him, she mulled over the little he'd said. It was now obvious to her that he was heading towards the Southern Pass. She should have realised it earlier and she was annoyed with herself for not doing so. She had known this was the route he'd taken when he escaped from Sachaka before. It seemed the Ichani also thought he would head back into Kyralia. _Why didn't I think he would go back? _She asked herself. _Just what did I think we were going to do here?_

She tried to remember her geography lessons. She thought it possible they would be close to the Southern Pass in a day, or at most two. She was no nearer finding a way to impress Akkarin enough to persuade him to take her with him. If the worst came to the worst and she hadn't discovered a way by the time he found somewhere for her, she decided she would simply follow him. She looked at him, a little way in front of her. He was moving at a relentless pace, only stopping occasionally to allow her to catch up if she got too far behind, and she wondered how she would be able to follow him undetected in the easier countryside of Kyralia.

They paused for a rest and some food where they found a small tree which cast some shade. Sonea ate her meal quickly, then sucked the moisture from her last two stalks. Akkarin, as usual, ate sparingly. Afterwards, he sat, with his back against the tree and closed his eyes. She stared at him, wondering how he could appear so calm. She decided that, although she had lived in his Residence for years, she didn't really know him at all. At first she had believed him totally evil and then, finding out his real motives, she had come to regard him as something of a hero, but she didn't know him. Partly, she suspected, this was because they hadn't spent very much time alone together. There had always been Takan or other magicians coming and going and she had been out all day taking classes or in the library studying. Even her black magic study had been largely done alone in her room. These past few days were the longest time they had spent together.

She couldn't say he'd been an entertaining companion, his long periods of silence were broken only by terse instructions. There had been no opportunity to get to know him better, in fact, she thought, he disliked her and was determined to keep his distance. She sighed. If she had given any thought at all as to what would happen once they were over the border, she had envisaged something more along the lines of a partnership.

She glanced at him again. Whether it was the effect of his beard, or the rough country clothing, he looked much younger than the High Lord she remembered. Idly, she wondered what it would be like if they were simply two ordinary young people out for a day in the country. She began an imaginary conversation, which soon turned to a little flirtation, and before she knew it, her thoughts had flown to the very pleasant idea of lying down, with Akkarin's arms around her and his soft, dark beard rubbing against her cheek.

She shook her head, trying to rid herself of those alluring thoughts, but her heart was beating loudly, the blood was pounding through her veins and she finally knew what she'd done. _You fool!_ _You've done what all those giggling little novices had done; you've become infatuated with Akkarin! _She had always been surprised at the number of young novices who whispered in corners about the physical charms of the High Lord. She had never understood what they saw in that cold, distant figure or the envy in their eyes when they saw her go into the Residence. But now she knew.

His eyes opened suddenly and stared directly into her startled gaze. She felt her colour rise and was surprised to see a faint colour tinge his pale face.

"You're staring at me, Sonea," he said softly, "Why is that?"

"Trying to decide if you were asleep or awake," she replied tartly.

He rose to his feet in one smooth movement and looked at the sun's position, then peered up along the narrow trail they were following.

"We need to get to the top of that peak," he said, pointing at a large hill, "Then we can see just where our pursuers have got to."

It took them an hour to reach a point on the hill from which they could see much of the surrounding countryside. It didn't take long to spot the Ichani, who were perhaps two hours behind them. There appeared to be two or three more of them, following the yeel than previously.

"Slaves," Akkarin explained. "Ichani always travel with slaves to provide a constant source of power. Come, we still have a long way to go before nightfall."

They set off again and Akkarin maintained a steady pace for several hours, until they reached an area of scrub, some way off the trail they'd been following. He seemed to know where to find a tumbled down building which would provide a little shelter for the night. There was even a small source of clean water bubbling up not far from the old building.

"You've been here before?" Sonea asked.

"Yes," he said but didn't volunteer any more information.

Sonea pushed aside the broken door blocking the entrance and went in. The roof was missing several slates and there were no windows in the openings, but there was plenty of room inside and it would provide a reasonable place to sleep.

She had spotted some large-leaved plants out by the stream and went to collect several armfuls. They, along with some sweet-smelling grasses, would make a bed of sorts. She made two separate piles, some distance apart at the far end of the building, away from the doorway. She went outside again to find Akkarin, but, as usual, he'd vanished, and she had no idea when he would come back. The sun was still warm and her shirt was stiff with dried sweat, so she decided to wash it, hoping that she could get it dry before her companion returned. Lacking soap, her clothes were never going to be laundry fresh, but anything had to be better than their current condition. Soon the shirt was spread over a bush. Her trousers soon followed, and, after quickly washing herself, she wrapped herself in her cloak.

As she looked around, she noticed something small and white underneath some bushes and went to investigate. To her joy, she found it was a small crop of edible fungus. She picked all she could see. _If only I could cook them_, she thought, _They would taste so much better_. She sat for a time, while the sun did its work on her shirt and trousers. Eventually, she could wait no longer, for Akkarin was sure to return soon. Her clothes were still damp, but she had to get dressed.

When Akkarin came back, she saw he was carrying two feathery bundles. He had managed to capture and kill a couple of birds. Akkarin used carefully shielded magic to cook the birds and fungus and it wasn't long before they were enjoying their best meal since leaving the Guild.

As she licked the last of the juice from her fingers, Sonea sighed with pleasure, "That was so good! If you teach me to shield my magic, I can be more useful. I could cook food and you wouldn't need to waste your time on that."

"I did consider it, but it would take too long and we'll be out of the wastelands soon enough," he said. "You'll have no need of shielding once you're back in Kyralia."

There it was again, the proof that he always intended to leave her behind. The usual feeling of anger rose within her, but this time she recognised the thread of misery running though it. She fully understood at last what had driven her to give her promise to Takan to look after Akkarin, to go with him into exile and why she was determined to stay with him wherever he decided to go.

_You have to get over these feelings_, she told herself firmly. _He doesn't want you with him. He has his plans, and you're not part of them!_

Akkarin was still speaking, "….get some rest and then leave here before sunrise." She made an effort to collect her thoughts and nodded agreement. As usual, Akkarin decided to take the first watch, leaving her in possession of the ruin. She sank down on the bedding pile, but sleep evaded her. Her mind re-examined events from the past, trying to decide exactly when she had begun to have feelings for Akkarin, but it was an impossible task. There was no one specific moment, it seemed as if the feelings had simply grown without any conscious effort on her part, until they were fully entwined around her being. There was no one part of her, which didn't long for him, didn't wait eagerly for him to notice how she felt, didn't hunger for his touch.

She tossed and turned on the bed, unable to let go of him in her thoughts. She fought the feelings every way she knew, but it was in vain. The hours passed and she remained fully awake. Akkarin had not come to wake her, as she'd known he wouldn't. He was still protecting her as much as he could from the worst effects of their journey. Eventually, she got up and went in search of him.

Outside, the night air was chilly, with only a slight breeze to disturb its stillness. There was no sign of Akkarin. _Where does he go? _For a single mad moment, she wondered if he'd gone to meet the Ichani, before dismissing it for the stupid idea it was. _He is on the side of good_, she reminded herself. _He is not evil_.

Just at that moment, she heard a faint rustling from behind her and spun round to see Akkarin emerging from the scrub. The Eye cast its faint light on the scene and Sonea saw something thick and dark trickling down Akkarin's face. _Blood! _She rushed towards him, but he held up his hand in a calming motion.

"It's not mine, it's yeel blood."

As she reached him, she could see he was liberally spattered with blood and clots of something she didn't wish to examine closely.

"What happened?" she asked, sharply.

Akkarin was in the process of shedding his shirt, so it was a moment before he answered, "I went to spy on the Ichani. The yeel was running free and caught my scent. I killed it."

He pushed past her and went to the stream to soak his shirt. She followed behind and was struck by the fact this was the first time she had seen him not fully dressed. Against all her good intentions, she found herself noting the clean lines of his back and the way muscles had been shaped by his Warrior training. There were so many questions, but she knew he wouldn't answer most of them. She contented herself with asking if he had been seen.

"I was some way away from their camp when the yeel attacked. They'd have heard its cries and found the body, but they didn't see me."

"They will know it was you, though."

"Of course. They will redouble their efforts to catch us, but now they must rely on their own skills."

All the while they had been talking, he had been attending to his shirt. It was now clean of stains and he used magic to dry it. He pulled it on and turned to face her. "Before the yeel found me, I overheard snatches of their conversation. After they deal with us, they are going to cross the border and meet up with another group who are crossing at a different place. I wasn't able to hear more, so I don't know what they will do after that."

Sonea expelled her breath in exasperation, "If you had taken me with you, I could have kept the yeel away and you'd have heard more. When are you going to let me play a proper part in all this?"

A strange expression crossed his face, and he smiled briefly, "Always so keen to join in a fight, Sonea. Perhaps you would have made a Warrior, after all."

She remembered the heated arguments they'd had when he insisted she take extra lessons from Yikmo and smiled in return. "Perhaps I would have, we'll never know now."

After a moment or two of silence, Sonea asked the question which had been in the forefront of her thoughts for some time, "What are we going to do now?"

"You are going to have your wish, Sonea. We are going to ambush and kill the Ichani."


	6. Ambush

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Ambush**

Sonea's jaw dropped in surprise, "Ambush?" she repeated.

"Yes, we'll wait until they catch up with us, then spring a trap."

"But we've spent the last few days doing everything we can to hide from them. What's changed your mind?"

Akkarin grabbed a stick and began drawing in the soft sandy soil, "I know what their plan is and we have to prevent it at all costs."

Sonea was struck by Akkarin's transformation. Gone was the cold, angry figure she had been travelling with. Gone, too, was the High Lord; instead, this Akkarin was full of suppressed excitement, his eyes glowing with enthusiasm. She was seeing Akkarin the Warrior, as he must have been in his early days as a magician. It was difficult to drag her eyes away from him. She looked down at his drawing. It was a rough sketch map of the area between the Northern Fort and the South Pass.

"We are here and the Ichani about there," he said, making a mark for each position. "From what I managed to overhear, our group is to cross the border near the South Pass and double back towards the Northern Fort. Another similar group will come through the North Pass and attack the Fort. With our pursuers already inside Kyralia, the Fort will be attacked from two sides."

"But surely the Fort can withstand an attack by such small numbers?" Sonea tried to remember details from her recent visit to the Fort, "There are about twenty Warriors guarding it, as well as other magicians. It is well defended, so what do they hope to achieve?"

Akkarin looked impatiently at her, "Have you forgotten all my lessons on black magic? A single black magician has the strength of ten ordinary magicians. They wouldn't need many to take the Fort. We are going to even the odds a little by preventing our Ichani from crossing the border."

"We must warn the Guild." Sonea was confident that Akkarin would immediately agree, but to her surprise, he shook his head.

"No, as far as the Guild is concerned, we have vanished over the border and are lost in the wastelands. They have left us to our fate, probably with a great feeling of relief and satisfaction. They must have no inkling of what we are doing or where we are going. Besides, if I sent a message, do you think they would believe it?"

Akkarin didn't say anything further on the matter and Sonea was reluctant to press the issue. She didn't want to give him any excuse to stop talking to her, now that he'd started to include her in his plans. Her heart was also lifted by his use of 'we' where previously it had all been 'I'. Instead she asked him what they were going to do next.

"I know this area a little because I spent some time here before. A bit further on, there is a trail of sorts which climbs up into the higher reaches of the mountains. At one point, it narrows quite sharply and that is where we shall spring our trap."

"Without the yeel, how can you be sure they will follow the right trail?"

Akkarin smiled suddenly, "You are going to use magic."

Akkarin would not be drawn on what would happen after she exposed her magic source, he merely said they should have as much water as they could manage to drink and prepare to move on almost immediately.

"It will take some time to reach the place I have in mind and the climb is difficult. We need to get there in good time to prepare."

_One thing I can rely on_, Sonea thought later that morning, _is when Akkarin says things are difficult, he never exaggerates._ She was short of breath and her legs felt like two jellied logs, reluctant to obey her commands to continue climbing. She could see Akkarin some way in front, climbing without apparent discomfort, as he had been doing for the past three hours. They were high in the mountains now, and the air was slightly cooler and thinner. She could easily see how they got their name of the Steelbelt Ranges. Traditionally, they were deemed impossible to cross, except through the two Passes, but in reality, they were criss-crossed by narrow tracks or trails, probably used by smugglers. The terrain was rocky and steep, with little in the way of vegetation, and no handholds to help a climber.

Akkarin turned a corner ahead of her and disappeared from view. She hoped he'd wait for her to catch up, as she didn't like them to be out of sight of each other. This was a dismal place and Sonea could not rid herself of a feeling of danger. Having Akkarin close at hand helped to dampen down her fear.

As she reached the corner, she peered round, but couldn't see Akkarin anywhere. _Now where's he gone! _She spotted a flattish rock and sat wearily down. The view was breathtaking and in other circumstances, she would have enjoyed the feeling of being on top of the world, but at the moment she really couldn't have cared less. Her breathing gradually returned to normal and she was conscious of feeling thirsty and hungry. She looked around but could see nothing even remotely edible. The bird and fungus meal was already a distant memory. She regretted thinking about it now, though, as her mouth watered at the thought of food.

Akkarin reappeared and joined her, holding out something in his hand. She looked at it, at first not quite understanding what it was, then she saw it was a cooked bird, rather small, but welcome all the same. He produced a second bird and they began to eat. It didn't take long to finish and Sonea could have eaten several more, but she was grateful all the same.

She smiled her thanks to Akkarin who said, "I wish I could have caught more, but there were only these two.

"How much farther do we have to go?"

"Another couple of hours climbing should be enough," he replied. "Then we'll have to prepare the ambush and let them know where we are. Then we wait."

The trail, which resembled an animal track rather than anything used by people, began to narrow as they continued their climb, slowly and almost imperceptibly at first, but then more sharply. After another hour's travel, they came to the place Akkarin had described. The trail passed through a deep valley, with steep walls on either side. The trail was only wide enough to allow people to walk single file, which meant they were vulnerable to attack.

"If the Ichani continue to travel at roughly the same speed, although without the yeel, they may be somewhat slower, then I anticipate they'll arrive here within a couple of hours of your magic becoming known to them." Akkarin explained as they sat side-by-side at the valley entrance.

Sonea looked around and couldn't see an obvious place for them to conceal themselves. She also remembered that the only means they had to take power was the eating knife they'd found earlier. Their jewelled black magicians' knives had been one of the first things confiscated by the Guild.

"Where will we hide?" she asked.

Akkarin pointed to a place, half-way down the valley, "There's the start of a rocky outcrop around there, which continues on both sides for the rest of the narrow pass. There are a few places suitable to use and our first task must be to choose an appropriate one. Once that decision is made, we'll discuss our tactics. Then you'll get your wish to join in the fighting. I only hope you remember your lessons from Yikmo!"

"So do I," she replied with a small laugh. "I wasn't very keen on them, I seem to remember, but he was a thorough teacher."

Akkarin led the way to the place he'd pointed out. There had been some sort of rockslide in the past as boulders, large and small, were tumbled about the floor of the valley, making progress even more difficult. On either side, the walls were covered with the jutting shapes of rocky outcrops, which provided nooks, crannies and sharp shadows for concealment.

Instructing Sonea to wait, Akkarin carefully surveyed both sides of the valley. She watched as he climbed among the boulders, frequently disappearing from sight only to reappear further down the pass. When he returned, he was looking pleased with himself.

"I've found the ideal place for our ambush and once the Ichani are within striking distance, we'll unleash a barrage of stunstrikes and forcestrikes. With any luck, they'll be taken by surprise and it will take them a moment to react. We should be protected by the rocks, but we are vulnerable to rockfalls, so be careful."

Sonea listened carefully as Akkarin detailed the sequence they needed to follow. His passion for planning a battle strategy and making decisions about tactics was clear. This was a side he'd kept hidden from her in the past. The occasions when they'd fought slaves and black magicians in Imardin had been very different forms of fighting, often scrappy and brutal, sometimes desperate, with little time for formal planning.

Once he was sure she understood her part, he turned to her use of magic. "We have to make it seem like a mistake," he explained. "I want you to do something and I will let it run for a few seconds before shielding you. That should be enough time for them to get a fix on our position and send them in our direction."

So Sonea stood on the trail and used magic to clean her clothing. She was unaware of the point at which Akkarin began to shield her. His control of magic was still far beyond her own, despite all her strength and everything she learned and his ability to conceal it was impressive. _One day, I'll make him teach me_, she vowed.

"Now, we wait," he said with a smile.

"There's just one thing," Sonea began, "Without our knives, how do we take power?"

"There's no need to worry," he replied with a touch of arrogance, "I'll use the eating knife on the first one, take his knife then deal with the next one. You need do nothing except keep out of the way. Your role is to provide forcestrikes, not to engage in close, physical fighting. Once I've disarmed them, I'll toss you a knife and we can drain them."

Sonea frowned. She wanted to play a proper part in the engagement, not be the little Novice to be kept back and out of danger, but how to phrase it?

"I see, but…," she paused, this next bit was difficult, "…If you need me to help, what should I do for the best?"

Akkarin looked at her sharply, "I don't want you to put yourself in a position where you can be used as a hostage. It is sensible for the more powerful magician to be the lead on this and, you have to admit, I am the stronger. I don't want to have to worry about what's happening to you. It will distract me."

She stared at him, seeing his extreme confidence and she knew she should take him at his word. What he said was completely sensible, but, at the back of her mind, she thought that things didn't always run to plan. What if their forcestrikes didn't work in the way Akkarin thought? What if the Ichani were able to work together? She knew that usually they didn't, but what if these two were different? What if a lucky rockfall disabled Akkarin? Her mind was buzzing with all sorts of problems which might arise.

"Akkarin, I'm not your Novice any more," she said finally, "I'm a black magician and your partner in this attack. You have to let me play a proper part in this and stop thinking about how to protect me all the time. That's the real distraction - your thinking how to keep me safe - not my abilities as a magician. Unexpected things can happen in a fight, I have to be in a position to help."

He narrowed his eyes as he considered her. He didn't say anything and Sonea felt her heart pounding in her chest, _What is he going to say? _She waited anxiously. Had she persuaded him or would he forbid her, as usual? She had no way of telling from his expression, or rather, his lack of one.

Eventually he spoke, his voice carefully neutral, "You make a fair point, Sonea. It would be a foolish magician, no matter how powerful, to reject the help of another. I will take on the man first and your task will be to prevent Avala coming to his aid."

Sonea worked hard to prevent a smile of satisfaction breaking out. It would never do for Akkarin to see that. She was pleased that he'd finally accepted her as a partner, perhaps not yet a full partner, but at least he had changed his position.

Over the next hour or two, they settled into their hiding places. Sonea was sitting on a flattish piece of ground completely surrounded by rock. She was able to spy out the trail through a small gap. Akkarin was almost opposite her. His rock shelter was not as complete as hers, but his ability to remain utterly still for some time meant he was difficult to distinguish. Just before they'd gone to their places, Akkarin had pulled a supply of stalks from his pouch and offered several to Sonea.

"When did you get these," she asked, surprised.

He smiled, good humouredly, "You can't expect me to give away all my secrets!"

Time seemed to pass slowly. Sonea watched the sun sink in the sky, taking some of the heat with it. There was very little to occupy her mind, so she filled in the time by practising some of the mental exercises she had learned from Yikmo. Then, some time later, she heard it, faintly at first, but gradually coming closer. It was the sound of someone clambering over rocks.

She pressed her eye to the gap and stared down the trail. In the distance she could see some figures moving steadily in her direction. She quickly reviewed their plan; wait until the black magicians were within a short distance, then unleash the most powerful forcestrikes she could manage. Akkarin would send stunstrikes at the same time and hopefully the resulting confusion would allow them to kill their opponents. The male was in the lead, her target, the woman, Avala, a few steps behind and then, further behind still a group of slaves. Sonea mentally measured the distance that they had to come before she could begin. Twenty paces, fifteen, ten, now!

She stood quickly and let fly with her first forcestrike. It made a satisfying blast as it landed between the two magicians. Instantaneously Akkarin's stunstrikes also found their target, their power and noise causing confusion amongst their enemies. Soon the air was filled with a deafening din and blinding flashes of power. The Ichani, after a few precious seconds of indecision, began to retaliate. The slaves scattered, but the black magicians stood their ground. Sonea could see that they did not coordinate their attacks, but simply fired off blasts in all directions.

To Sonea's surprise, she saw Akkarin appear behind the Ichani to attack them from the rear. Sonea kept up her barrage, forcing the black magicians to separate. Then another figure, exactly like Akkarin, emerged from his original hiding place and moved steadily towards the Ichani, sending blast after blast directly at them. Sonea moved out on to the trail behind him and now she could feel the strikes on her own shield. The Ichani were powerful, she could feel her defences strain to resist the force sent against her.

By this time, Akkarin was very close to the male, the small eating knife in his hand, ready to drain his opponent at the first opportunity. Akkarin was also closing in on his prey from the rear. Sonea couldn't make sense of what was happening. But she had her own task to perform. She put everything else out of her mind and concentrated on Avala, driving her further and further away from the others.

"So, Akkarin has a little pet," the Ichani woman said suddenly.

The words were intended to distract and they performed their function impeccably. Sonea faltered slightly and in that moment her shield buckled under a fierce pounding from Avala. The Ichani sprang towards her, grabbing an arm and pulling her close. Immediately, her knife made a shallow cut along Sonea's lower arm, but before Avala could start to drain her power, Sonea sent Healing to close the cut.

It was Avala's turn to be distracted as she stared at the healed cut in disbelief. She tried again, and again Sonea Healed the gash. Sonea was grappling with her adversary, trying to prevent the hand with the knife from cutting her again, but she couldn't see how to proceed, lacking even the most basic weapon of her own. Then an idea struck her and she concentrated on sending a powerful flow of Healing into the Ichani. Deep down, right inside the veins, amidst the pulsing flow of blood, Sonea could feel the pounding of the other's heart. Suddenly she struck, surrounding Avala's heart with a powerful surge of Healing and in that moment, the Ichani's heart fluttered and jerked, then fell still.

Sonea found herself standing over the fallen body of the black magician. _Power quickly! _her mind shrieked as she grabbed Avala's knife, made a cut and drew off the Ichani's power. She could feel the roar rush through her body as the stored magic flooded into her own magic source and she felt herself grow powerful and strong.

_Akkarin…_

She turned quickly to see both men were in the throes of an epic struggle, surrounded with the faint shimmer of shields and the powerful blasts of power. It seemed to be an equal struggle, with neither man gaining an advantage for very long. Sonea danced around the edge seeking a way to help Akkarin. Then she saw an opportunity and moved in close, sending her own forcestrikes directly on the centre of the Ichani's shield. Akkarin sent his own to the same spot and they could both see it wavering as the shield struggled to absorb the blasts.

As the shield began to thin under the pressure, Sonea tossed Akkarin the knife she had taken from Avala and watched as he finally tore through the black magician's shield and stabbed him in the belly. The Ichani bent double in shock and immediately Akkarin withdrew the knife and made a cut along his neck and took his power.

Sonea found herself breathing heavily, as if she had just run from the Guild into the centre of Imardin. She stood for a moment, her hands on her knees until she caught her breath. Akkarin was examining the body of the dead magician at his feet, sorting though his clothing, extracting his pouch and emptying the contents. She felt she should be doing the same with her opponent and moved over to where Avala lay on her back. In death, the Ichani woman was still screaming, her mouth open in shock, her arms splayed out from the sides of her body. Sonea forced herself to ignore the body and concentrate on locating Avala's pouch and pulling it free.

While she was doing this, Akkarin came over. Suddenly he let fly with a number of oaths Sonea remembered from her days as a dwell. Her first reaction was one of shock that he should know such words, her second was to wonder why he did so.

Akkarin was bending over Alva and pulling at a chain she wore round her neck, which Sonea could see carried a pendant of some sort. Akkarin snapped the chain and ground the pendant under his foot.

"What…..?" she started to ask, when Akkarin interrupted her.

"Blood gem," he said tersely.

Sonea considered the implications. Avala had been in communication with her own Master, no doubt transmitting everything that was happening around her. Now that Master would know that his magicians had been killed; he would also know who had done the killing.

"So they know what we've done." Sonea said.

"It's worse than that," Akkarin replied grimly, "They know what you look like.

For a moment she couldn't see why this was worse, then it struck her. She could be clearly identified by the Ichani as Akkarin's companion and another a black magician. It would no longer be safe to leave her behind. Akkarin would have to take her with him.


	7. Dorrien

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

Dorrien

Akkarin was still staring at the dead woman, a sharp frown creasing his forehead, no doubt considering how best to deal with this new problem. Sonea, however, was more concerned with exercising the strictest control over her thoughts to prevent her happiness from showing. It was vital she didn't let him know just how much travelling with him meant to her and she must not forget he was one of the best mind-readers the Guild had ever produced. To give herself something to occupy her thoughts, she went back to examining the supplies from Avala's pouch. There were herbs, bread and cheese, enough to feed the two of them for a couple of days at least. There was also a water bottle, half-full, another eating knife and some coins. Sonea also now had a jewelled knife of her own, as well as a belt to carry it in.

She looked over at what Akkarin had found. Another black magician's knife, of course, more coins, a water bottle, but this one empty, a lump of ham wrapped in a cloth and more bread. Both Ichani had better cloaks and Sonea stripped them off the corpses and used magic to clean them. In the meantime, Akkarin was busily taking the man's clothing, which was in better condition than his own. After it was cleaned, he turned away from Sonea and changed into it. She resisted the temptation to peek, concentrating instead on deciding whether to take Avala's clothes. In the end, she took the shirt, but left the trousers as they were much too long.

She took a swig of the water and offered the bottle to Akkarin. He shook his head, "We need to consider what to do next. The blood gem is a complication I could do without."

"What about the slaves?" she asked.

"Let them go, they are no threat to us as there are no other black magicians near here who could use them. Come, we must get away from here and look for somewhere to spend the night."

Groaning inwardly, she prepared to resume her journey. Before they left, Akkarin destroyed both bodies with carefully placed strikes, so that no trace of them remained. Staring at the unmarked rocks, Sonea found it difficult to believe that not so very long ago, a fierce battle had taken place here.

They travelled until the sun had all but set. They had reached the top of the ranges and to Sonea's surprise, she found that it consisted of a series of plateaux, with sparse vegetation, a few spindly trees and even a fast flowing stream of clear water, so they were able to fill the water bottles. It was such a relief to be able to take a drink when she wanted without worrying if it would be the last water for days.

They stopped for the night in a clump of trees and shrubs growing by a small stream. Akkarin cleared a space in the centre and Sonea used leaves and dried grass to make up sleeping places. Afterwards, they had a good meal of bread, ham and cheese. It had been a long time since they'd tasted what Sonea privately thought of as proper food, rather than what they had gathered in the wastelands. Neither of them felt like sleeping just yet, their minds too full of the recent battle, so they just sat in companionable silence for a time, while the sky darkened and the stars began to appear.

"Where do you intend to cross the border?" Sonea asked at last.

"We need to avoid the South Pass itself. There's bound to be people near it and we must not be recognised."

She laughed, "With that beard, not even the King would recognise you!"

"We must make sure. Sonea, I need you to cut my hair."

She made a small noise of protest. Akkarin had thick hair which he wore long, just past his shoulders. Usually he wore it tied back in a rather old-fashioned style, but when it was loose, Sonea loved the way it framed his face. She hated the thought of cutting it, but he was right. The High Lord had been a well-known figure and his unusual hairstyle was one of the distinctive things most people knew about him.

She sighed, "I'll do it in the morning, when it's light."

The next morning, they had a quick breakfast, then took it in turns to wash in the stream. Akkarin had instructed Sonea to refrain from using magic again, just in case Avala's Master sent other magicians to look for them. This meant she had to brave the icy cold stream and then dry herself on a corner of her old cloak. When she'd finished, she found Akkarin sitting cross-legged, waiting for her to cut his hair. He had sharpened the jewelled knife in preparation.

She stood behind him and picked up the first lock. His hair felt clean and silky and she hated to do it, but steeled herself to obey his instruction. The sharpened knife soon made short work of her task and the shorn locks lay scattered on the ground, like fallen ribbons. She bent closer to make the back more even and, as she did so, her fingers touched his neck. Immediately, a tingling sensation spread up her arm and she moved her hand away abruptly.

The contact renewed her longing to put her arms around him and have him kiss her, long and hard. She forced herself to continue to trim the ends, hoping that she hadn't betrayed herself. It was important that he didn't know the direction her feelings were taking her. She could imagine his secret scorn if he discovered that Sonea had joined the ranks of those silly women who fluttered around him like moths to a flame.

"Let's have a look at you," she said, keeping her voice light with an effort.

He stood and turned towards her. He looked quite different, even younger, if that were possible and she was sure no one would recognise him. She told him so and he smiled in satisfaction.

"Now," he said, "Let's look at you?"

He stared at her for a moment, then said, "If I trim your hair a little, you could pass for a boy, as long as your clothing is not too tight."

She glanced down. Avala had been taller and larger than Sonea, and her shirt was loose on the smaller woman. If Sonea tightened her belt and pulled the shirt up so it hung loosely over the belt, she was sure she could pass for a boy. She had done it often enough before she entered the Guild.

It only took Akkarin five minutes to cut her hair. She ran her hand though it, liking the shortness and the way it tamed her curls. It brought back so many good memories of running wild in the city, getting into trouble, going where she wasn't supposed to go and doing things she wasn't supposed to do.

She glanced mischievously at him and said, "I'll need a new name and so will you."

"We can think of that while we walk. We'll take an old smugglers' track which goes across the border and down towards a small village called Hunter's Race. It's so small you won't find it on many maps, but it's between Galia and Sarin. Then it will be a question to getting to Imardin as quickly as possible."

It was on the tip of Sonea's tongue to ask what on earth they were going to do in Imardin and how would they avoid being recognised, so close to the Guild and with the place full of magicians, but she didn't. She had no wish for Akkarin to retreat into his cold silences again, so she decided she would simply accept whatever information he chose to give her.

He went to his sleeping place to collect his belongings and while he was gone, Sonea quickly bent down and took a long, black, silky lock of his hair, tied a knot in the middle and stuffed it in her pouch. She couldn't explain exactly why having it was important to her, but it was. _A good luck charm?_ she asked herself. _Or simply a piece of Akkarin for my very own?_ It didn't matter, all she knew was how happy having the lock of hair made her feel.

As they continued their journey, Sonea tried to remember where she'd heard the names of the villages Akkarin had mentioned before. It was something personal, she knew, but for the life of her, she couldn't remember what it was and it niggled away at her memory all morning. Then, suddenly, it came to her.

"Dorrien!" she exclaimed.

Akkarin turned a quizzical glance on her and she explained she'd been trying to remember something.

"Dorrien is a Healer in a village somewhere near the South Pass, I think he mentioned Galia or Sarin as being nearby. I'm sure he would help us."

Akkarin's voice was expressionless as he asked, "Why would he help two disgraced and exiled magicians who had broken the terms of their banishment?"

Put like that, it made Sonea hesitate for a moment, then she said, "Dorrien wouldn't betray us, he's kind and cares about people, especially people in trouble and I'm sure he'd do everything thing he could to help."

"That's not a good enough reason, Sonea. We aren't 'people in trouble' as far as any Guild magician is concerned. We are criminals, betrayers of our sacred vows, not just people with empty bellies who need a bite of food before being sent on their way."

Sonea felt herself flushing as she said, "Dorrien and I….err…we…had a sort of understanding…." Her voice trailed away as she saw Akkarin look at her sharply and she could feel her cheeks grow hotter.

"An understanding?" Akkarin's voice was cold, "Exactly what sort of an understanding?"

_I wish I'd never started this! _she thought, but it was too late and she had to continue.

"Dorrien and I got to know each other when he stayed with Rothen for a few weeks and, well, I thought then I might choose Healing and…we…err…" This was so hard to explain and Sonea struggled to find the right words.

"You are lovers?" Akkarin's question was asked in a quiet voice, but it flustered her even more.

"No! err…not exactly lovers," she said, "But Dorrien wants us to work together and…and if we find we are suited, then…err…marry." She stuttered to the end of her explanation and waited for his response, with a strange fluttering in her stomach.

He said nothing, but stared at her intently, his face still, like a mask, impossible to read. When he spoke, his voice was several degrees colder than before.

"So, this 'understanding' between you will cause him to help his disgraced sweetheart who has been living, completely alone, with an older man for several days. A man who previously taught his future marriage partner an evil and forbidden magic, which she appears to have embraced gladly?"

Her mouth was dry, suddenly, and she licked her lips nervously, "No, I don't suppose he would if you put it like that."

"There is no other way to put it, Sonea," he broke off for a moment, then resumed, his tone a little warmer and softer, "When you refused your judgement, you doomed yourself to a life where you would be forever regarded as my creature. People will always wonder what else I taught you, alone at night, in the Residence."

There was no hiding her reaction, her face was flaming and she was sure it resembled one of those ripe red summer fruits which were sold in the market. His words had reawakened her longing and with all her heart she wished he had taught her something other than black magic, at night, in the Residence.

"You see it now!" his voice was bitter, "I tried to protect you from it, but you would try to rescue me by sacrificing your future."

"I don't regret it!" The words were out before she could keep them back.

A look of complete surprise, quickly followed by another, so fleeting, she couldn't read it, flashed across Akkarin's face, "You don't regret it?" She could hear an underlying thread of something, an emotion, perhaps, in his voice.

"No," she said firmly, "I don't. I didn't make my promise to Takan lightly. I said I would look after you and as far as I am able, to the best of my ability, I will do it, and if that means I am doomed, then doomed I will be!"

A smile briefly curved his lips, "Brave, foolish Sonea." was all he said, but there was something in his voice which warmed her heart.

"So, we won't bother Dorrien?" she asked.

"I think it best not to put his loyalties to the test."


	8. Return

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Return**

They were walking in silence, Akkarin having retreated into his cold, distant shell just as he was during the first days of their exile. She had tried to start a conversation once or twice, but after having her head bitten off on the last occasion, she' d given up. Now they were walking in single file, Akkarin in the lead, along the old smugglers' trail towards the border.

With no exchanges to distract her, she fell into her new pastime of mentally reviewing recent conversations with Akkarin, trying to picture his exact expression when he said something. Trying to understand him. Their discussions about Dorrien had surprised her, partly because she had been blind as to how her conduct might appear to an outsider and partly because she sensed that Akkarin had some sort of interest in the relationship she had with the Healer.

_Why? _She couldn't think of a reason. Perhaps it was because Dorrien was Rothen's son and Rothen had tried to keep her away from the High Lord. _That doesn't sound likely_. Akkarin knew Dorrien, of course, so perhaps it was something as simple as dislike or contempt. Whatever it was, it didn't matter now. They were not going anywhere near Dorrien.

The other, more worrying thing was how damaged her reputation had become. It had never occurred to her that people might read into her actions a completely different set of events. Belatedly, she remembered the hostile gossip spread by some of the novices when she had been living in Rothen's quarters. Did they think she and Akkarin had been lovers all the time she lived in the Residence? That was what he seemed to be hinting in his comments.

From the first she had hated Akkarin with a passion which, at times, had frightened her. It had consumed all of her spare time for years. She had plotted and schemed to escape from his power without anything even remotely approaching success. Then, later, she had concentrated on what he was teaching her and the work they did killing the Ichani sent to test him. She had become his ally and valued her work as an important part of saving the Guild from destruction.

Both these states of mind, hatred and cooperation, had blinded her to what she could now see was perfectly obvious. Akkarin was a young man, only a little more than ten years older than she, and a particularly handsome young man as well who, when he wished, could ooze charm. She remembered some of the social occasions he had forced her to attend when he entertained important members of the Houses and their families. She had seen the strategies used by mothers and daughters to try to gain his attention. She'd heard whispers of plans to marry off the High Lord to their daughters, or sisters. She'd watched simpering females try to gain his interest through all sorts of bizarre behaviour.

At the time, she'd dismissed it all as nonsense, but now…_when my own feelings are engaged, I can see what they saw in him….._She sighed. In all the time she had lived in his shadow, she had never seen him, by word or gesture, show any interest in any female beyond polite social intercourse. _Nor any lad_, her mind quickly added. Akkarin lived alone, a solitary man, with no sign of any personal relationship with anyone.

_But who would believe that they could be alone together and not engage in intimate relations? _There was no chaperone here to prove nothing took place. She knew, as surely as if she were standing in the Night Room, that the Guild would be gossiping about what she and Akkarin were doing now they'd been sent away and speculating how long it had been going on. Well, like a lot of things, there was nothing she could do about it now.

She glanced up. As usual, Akkarin had gone on ahead and was now out of sight. She had no idea where he'd gone or how long he'd be away. She kept trudging on, he would come back, eventually; he had every time before.

She thought about how their lives had been since arriving in the wastelands. She remembered she had hardly ever seen him sleep. He always sent her off to sleep first, promising to wake her for the next watch, but rarely did so. When she awoke in the mornings, he was always up and about. _Did he ever sleep? _Even the strongest of magicians needed sleep and the longer he went without, the greater the effect on his judgement.

She had made another discovery while reliving her memories. She wasn't infatuated with Akkarin. No, she loved him, loved him with the same degree of passion which had driven her hatred. It was now very clear to her that she had loved him for a long time without understanding. It was love which had driven her to refuse judgement because, knowing where they were going to send him and why, she couldn't bear to think of his death, to go on living herself without him.

She ruthlessly pushed these thoughts deep into the recesses of her mind. They must be kept hidden, with no hint of her true feelings escaping. She couldn't bear the shame of Akkarin finding out. She was trapped with him now, their fates bound together, and the best she could hope for was a friendly, cooperative relationship, so that they could do what they needed to do to save the Guild. She felt like crying for the loss of something she'd never had and now never would have, Akkarin, as her lover.

The trail twisted and turned, but was well marked so she had no fear of losing her way. She skirted a large rock which jutted out across the path to find herself facing a straight stretch and, sitting a little way further along, was the still figure of Akkarin.

He didn't appear to see her, so she took the opportunity of observing him closely. He was staring out across a small valley which ran alongside the path. His expression was one she hadn't seen before, one of great melancholy as if all the weight of the world was resting on his shoulders. As she watched, he suddenly hid his face in his hands and remained like that for a moment. Then he dropped his hands and sat up straight. He looked like a man who'd had a difficult decision to make, but was now convinced of the correct course of action.

Sonea didn't want him to know she had seen him in a moment of weakness, so she quietly crept back around the rock, waited a few moments, then came forward again, taking care to create some noise to alert him. When she rounded the rock, she found him walking towards her, a calm expression on his face.

"Ah, there you are, Sonea," he said. "Look," and he pointed across the valley to the hills beyond, "Kyralia!"

The trail followed alongside the valley for some way, before abruptly turning down into it. Sonea relished the change of walking down a trail instead of climbing. The way was easier too, with more and more vegetation and soft earth taking the place of gritty sand and hard rock. She could hear birdsong and saw signs that animals roamed here. There were no buildings, though, and no people.

They stopped for the night near a small pool some way along the valley bottom. Akkarin caught two large birds and cooked them to perfection. They made short work of the tasty meat and sucked the marrow from the bones. Some of the Ichani bread and cheese followed, all washed down by cool, clear water from the pool.

Sonea made up sleeping places using dried grasses and leaves. She was getting very good at selecting exactly the right things to ensure a soft bed. Having the two cloaks each meant they could spread one over the bedding and wrap themselves in the other, a much more comfortable arrangement.

As the sky darkened, she could see that Akkarin was becoming increasingly tired. Once or twice she saw his eyelids droop over his eyes and thought he might actually just drop off to sleep where he sat. She persuaded him to sleep first and let her keep watch. She could see he didn't want to do it, but he couldn't fight the waves of tiredness which were sweeping over him so the argument was short and victory was hers. Within a few minutes of lying down, he was sound asleep.

She watched him for a long time, noting the way his face relaxed in sleep, so that she could almost see the novice he had once been. Then she got up silently and walked around their camp, just in case someone had caught up with them. She circled out a fair distance, but they seemed to have the valley to themselves. She was almost back at their camp, when she heard a strange sound. It seemed to be something, or someone, in pain, a sort of low moan. She turned her head quickly, trying to gauge the direction, but the sound seemed to be everywhere at once. She went towards their sleeping place, it was possible she would need to rouse Akkarin, but when she got there, she discovered the source of the noise.

Akkarin was deep in the throes of a nightmare. His head was turning from side to side and beads of sweat were running down his face. His body twisted and he flung his arms out wide, before wrapping them round himself again. But it was the noise which frightened her the most, the low animal noise of a creature in pain. She needed to wake him, but she remembered what had happened before, how she'd touched his shield which had thrown her backwards with great force. She didn't want to do that again.

"Akkarin! Akkarin, wake up!" She tried to rouse him with just her voice, but it had no effect.

She tried again, but the nightmare seemed to be taking a stronger hold on him. His movements became more frantic and she could see his eyes move rapidly beneath their lids, as if he was desperately searching for something. She called his name again and again, but he couldn't hear her. It was no use. She was going to have to use magic to reach him, and risk lighting up the magical atmosphere in the process.

She knelt beside him and concentrated until she could see the shimmering outline of his shield. It was pulsating, first thicker, then thinner as the dream took deeper and deeper hold. She watched it carefully, waiting for it to thin so she could penetrate it more easily. _There! _She reached through, feeling only the slightest shock of raw magic scraping at her nerves, and took hold of his hand.

"Akkarin, Akkarin, wake up!"

Three things happed simultaneously, Akkarin's eyes opened wide, his body twisted and his hands pulled at her so she found herself suddenly lying on her back with him on top of her, holding her arms above her head in a grip of iron. His unseeing eyes blazed down at her and she could feel fear growing in her belly.

"Akkarin…Akkarin, it's me, Sonea," her voice was frantic with worry, "Wake up, please."

As if a shower of icy water had been thrown over him, Akkarin jerked then froze; he looked at her, really saw her this time, and flung himself backwards, away from her.

"What happened?" he said, breathing heavily as if he'd been running. What are you doing?"

She sat up calmly and looked at him, "You were dreaming and it seemed such a terrible dream, I tried to wake you."

In the short time it had taken for her to speak, Akkarin had taken complete control of himself and when he spoke next, his voice was calm.

"There's no need to worry. I often have nightmares, I'm used to them and they don't bother me."

"Well I'm not!" Sonea replied tartly. "You frightened me, I didn't know what you'd end up doing. You were making loud noises too, anyone could have heard you."

"I'm sorry, Sonea," he said softly. "I usually sleep alone, so there's no one to disturb."

_Is this the reason he used to make me sleep first? So I wouldn't find out about the nightmares? _

"How long have you been having them?" she asked. "What do you dream about?"

"I have no wish to discuss my personal habits with you," he replied sharply. "I'm sorry I disturbed you but I have no intention of indulging your curiosity."

Sonea felt a stab of hurt, "It's not curiosity, I thought I might be able to help you if I knew what you're dreaming about."

He stared at her intently, a faint colour tingeing his cheeks, and there was something in his stare which caused butterflies to start in her stomach.

" I know you're only trying to help, Sonea, but no one can. I dream about my time in Sachaka and I prefer not to discuss it. Try to sleep, I'll keep watch now."

She watched as he rose and pulling his cloak around him, moved out into the night. She felt drained of all emotion, washed out, too tired to think properly, yet unable to feel like sleep. She lay down on her bed and tried to make her mind a blank, but it refused to cooperate.

He had never spoken about his time in Sachaka, apart from telling her the barest outline of the events which led to his becoming a black magician. _He only told me what he thought I needed to know_, she mused. _Only enough to secure my cooperation, no gory details and yet there must have been something terrible to make these nightmares so strong after so many years._

The more time she spent alone with Akkarin, the more of a puzzle he became. It had been easy in the Residence to only think about him in relation to the task in hand at the time. Now, though, he was the source of all her thoughts. There were no distractions, at least, not since they had killed the Ichani. Her whole world now revolved around Akkarin, what he said, what he did and, of course, what made him the person he was.

It was impossible to prevent her thoughts running on and on, trying to make sense of every little extra bit of information she discovered.

She must have fallen asleep thinking about him, because the next thing she knew was hearing her name being called and she opened her eyes to bright sunlight. She had vague memories of a dream in which she'd been running after something she could never catch. She smiled to herself. _That just about sums it all up!_

She sat up and could see Akkarin sitting in a patch of sunlight, working at something. When she investigated, she found he had caught some fish which he was in the process of preparing. He looked up as she came towards him.

"Breakfast," he said pointing at a small fish lying on a large green leaf. He was already eating one, using the last of the Ichani bread to sop up the juices.

It didn't take them long to eat, snatch a quick wash in the pool and be ready to continue on their trek. Akkarin explained it would take them the morning to reach the border, which meant they had a reasonable amount of time to find somewhere to spend the night.

"We need to get as far away from the border as possible as quickly as possible," he said. When she queried this, Sonea was told that there could be Kyralian patrols on the look out for them in case they tried to return. _Something else I hadn't considered_, she thought ruefully.

The morning passed uneventfully. The going was easy in the valley, quite pleasant in fact, compared with their earlier travels. When they reached the border, there was nothing to distinguish it, a green field, fringed with trees, exactly the same as the green field and trees on the Sachakan side. They crossed it without ceremony, but when they reached the other side, Akkarin turned to her and with a bitter smile said,

"Now we are foresworn. Death is the penalty we face if we're caught, with no appeal."

Although she'd known the consequences of returning, it was still an unpleasant shock to hear Akkarin say it out loud. Perhaps it was the lessening of the feelings of impending disaster she'd been feeling all the while they'd been in Sachaka, which made her feel somewhat light hearted, she didn't know, but she smiled back at Akkarin and said, lightly, "Then we'd better make sure we don't get caught!"


	9. Death in the Night

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

Death in the Night

Hunter's Race turned out to be a very small village, in fact, Sonea thought, it wasn't really a village at all, merely a collection of two or three dwellings and a farm or two. She and Akkarin walked down the dusty street, avoiding the gazes of the residents, just concentrating on leaving the village behind as quickly as possible. Luckily the few locals seemed to be caught up in their own affairs, and the two strangers were largely ignored.

Akkarin, who seemed to have a detailed map of Kyralia hidden in his brain, had decided they must travel in the direction of Coldbridge, but taking care to avoid the main highway and larger settlements. Sonea, whose understanding of geography outside of Imardin and its immediate surroundings was completely lacking, had nothing to contribute, so simply accepted what she was told. Earlier, they had decided on names, she was Sym and he was Verin, similar to their real names, in case one or the other made a mistake, but both suitably male.

Earlier, she had torn a long strip off her thin cloak to bind round her breasts to flatten them. She hadn't bothered to discuss this with Akkarin, she was too embarrassed to refer to her bodily attributes, but had merely waited until he'd gone off on a scouting trip, to make the adjustment. It had felt odd at first, but she soon got used to it. Akkarin's beard had grown considerably thicker and that, combined with his new haircut, provided a suitable disguise. He even managed to change his athletic Warrior's stride in some way, so that he moved quite differently. Sonea thought it most unlikely either of them would be recognised, but they were taking no chances, all the same.

Hunter's Race was surrounded by wooded hills and valleys, so soon after leaving the village, they branched off the road on to a lane which led into woodland. It was a much easier journey now, so they were able to cover the ground more quickly. Also, the restriction on use of magic was reduced and Sonea was able to use Healing when her aches got too painful.

"Don't go using magic just when you feel like it, we are still a target, but it is easier to here to hide among the other magic users," Akkarin had said. "As long as you don't try anything spectacular or very different from others, he added quickly, to forestall her questions.

So, Sonea was in a cheerful mood as they walked along. Her initial fears at breaking the terms of their banishment had been firmly put to the back of her mind. Instead, she concentrated on the pleasures of walking through a pretty wood, passing the occasional stream or clumps of flowers and listening to birdsong. As a city child, she had little real experience of being away from the hustle and bustle of busy town life. The nearest she'd come to it before recent events had been the gardens and forests around the Guild. Now, though, she could see the attractions of rural life. _Perhaps we'll settle down somewhere like this,_ she found herself thinking before firmly reminding herself that she had no idea what the future would hold. _And where did the 'we' come from?_

She realised that Akkarin had given no clues to what would happen once they got to Imardin, apart from a vague idea of 'saving' the Guild from attack by the Ichani. After that, what would happen? Would they be welcome again at the Guild? What would happen to Akkarin – he couldn't be High Lord again, not after everything that had happened - but would he want to be just an ordinary magician? What would the Guild do about their black magic? Perhaps imprisonment would be the only option. She remembered the restrictions the Guild wanted to impose on her, if she'd accepted her judgement. _I must get Akkarin to talk to me about his plans_, she vowed.

The opportunity to talk to Akkarin didn't arise that day. He seemed locked in some internal debate, no doubt refining his plans, and was in no mood for conversation. By early evening, they had reached an abandoned woodcutter's hut and decided to stop for the night. Leaving Sonea to make up their sleeping places, Akkarin disappeared to find something to eat. By the time he returned, Sonea had completed her task and had started a cheerful fire in the old fireplace. She had collected water from a nearby brook and had even made a couple of plates from some flat rocks she'd found outside.

Akkarin had caught a large coney, a woodland creature, with long ears and a short tail, well known for its tender flesh. As usual, he cooked it to perfection, together with some edible fungus and other roots, then divided the food between them. It was delicious.

"Where did you learn to prepare food?" Sonea asked curiously, it did seem an unusual skill for a High Lord.

He hesitated for a moment, then said, "Slaves learn many things to please their Masters."

"Will you tell me more about your time as a slave?" she asked, knowing this was an touchy subject for him, but needing to know so much more about his past.

"No," he said shortly. "It's not a pretty story to entertain the ladies after dinner, it was savage and brutal."

After that, silence fell between them and Sonea cursed herself for raising the subject. After the incident of his nightmares, she had realised how difficult it must be for him to talk about his past. She couldn't tell him that she wanted to know, not out of some prurient, eager curiosity, but because she wanted to hold him after the telling to bring some sort of comfort.

As usual, Akkarin sent her to sleep first. She had argued they didn't need to keep watch now they were home, but he gave her one of his cold looks of command, and she went to lie down without further protest. She fell asleep almost immediately, a deep, dreamless sleep.

The echo of a long, despairing scream woke her. Her head was full of images of death and destruction and for a moment she was completely disorientated. She could see dead and dying magicians, the night air full of blasts of power, buildings with their walls gaping open and pouring through the gaps came Ichani black magicians. This was no dream. This was a desperate report sent to the Guild from a magician somewhere, with no time to focus his mental communication. For a moment she couldn't place the scenes, then she realised, she was seeing the Northern Fort under attack.

Akkarin was not in his sleeping place so she ran to find him. She saw him standing stock still outside, his eyes unfocused as his gaze was turned inwards watching the mental images. Sonea's head was full of the sounds of agony, as one by one, the Guild magicians fell before the advancing Ichani. Nothing they could do could withstand the assault by at least half a dozen black magicians, not one of whom appeared to be suffering any kind of injury at all. Barricade after barricade fell before the advancing Sachakans, Guild magic failing within seconds as the black magicians kept coming.

Soon she could see that only the sender of the images remained alive. He was surrounded by Ichani, his arms held tightly behind him, but he continued to concentrate on conveying a continuous report. She could hear one of the Ichani taunting the Guild.

_Tell your masters we are coming for them_. _They will live just long enough to see the destruction of everything they hold dear. Tell them. It will not be long before they feel the taste of our knives just like this!_

As he spoke the last, the leader stepped forward and slashed at the throat of the magician in front of him. There was a sharp image of fiery pain, then the image began to fade as the power drained out into the Ichani. The final darkening image was of the face of the triumphant Ichani as he took the last of the power.

As the images disappeared, Sonea staggered a little, then became conscious she was standing very close to Akkarin, clutching his arms. As she met his gaze, she self-consciously took her hands away.

"I'm sorry," she stuttered, "I didn't realise…"

"We have little time now," he interrupted. "Now they are through the North Pass and have destroyed the Fort, there is little between them and the Guild."

He looked up at the sky, focussing on the Eye, "It will be a few hours before it gets light, but we can't wait. We must leave now. Get ready!"

She hurried to obey, worried about how long it would take them to reach the city. Their journey from the Guild to the Northern Fort had taken several days on horseback, so how long would it take two people on foot? She couldn't begin to calculate it.

"What will the Guild do now?" she asked him, once they were underway.

"If I know Balkan, they'll try something stupid like sending the Warriors out to stop the advance. That's just sending them to their deaths, they have no idea how to deal with black magicians. Such a waste."

_Akkarin? Akkarin?_

They both heard the call clearly. Sonea glanced at Akkarin, but his face remained impassive. He made no effort to reply.

_Akkarin? Reply urgently._

"Before you ask, Sonea, we must make no response. The Ichani can hear all mental communications. They must not know where we are or what we're doing. And," he added, "Neither must the Guild."

The Guild continued to call Akkarin every so often for the rest of the night. The calls became increasingly desperate as time went on, but Akkarin remained steadfastly silent.

Sonea wished there was some way of blocking the mental messages as she felt worn down by them. It was simply terrible to have to listen to the desperation evident in the mental voices as the night wore on.

By the time it got light, they were coming out of the woodland and they could see in the distance another village. Akkarin told Sonea to stay out of sight on the edge of the wood.

"I'll be back soon," he said.

"Where are you going?" she demanded.

"To steal a horse," came the reply.

She found a fallen tree and sat on the trunk to wait. _Steal a horse? _Part of her found the idea of a former High Lord having to steal a horse rather amusing, but the rest of her appreciated the urgency which drove Akkarin to take this course of action. It was necessary to get to Imardin as soon as possible, and certainly before any of the Ichani arrived, in order to prepare some sort of defence. _Although,_ she thought, _I can't see what just the two of us can do if he doesn't join up with the Guild._

Her frustration at being kept ignorant of Akkarin's plans grew, the longer she waited. Hadn't she proved over and over again her willingness to be a full participant in whatever he'd decided to do? Hadn't she sacrificed everything to follow him?

_Oh stop whining!_ she told herself disgustedly. _You've made your bed and now you must lie in it._ That had been a favourite saying of her aunt when she'd been in trouble while growing up. _And it's still true today! I '…made my bed…' when I went into exile and now I must make the best of it._

She could hear the sound of a horse coming towards her and looked up to see Akkarin riding up on an old farm horse. It was obviously a plough horse, rather than a riding mount, but it would cut their journey time and that was the most important thing. As he reached her, he slid from its back and she could see that whilst there was a bridle, it had no saddle. Her only experience of riding had been the journey to the border and she wasn't looking forward to repeating the experience. She eyed the wide back with misgivings and she heard Akkarin give a small laugh.

"It won't be so bad once you're used to him," he said with a brief smile.

She looked doubtfully up at him, "It was bad enough with a saddle and stirrups, I'll slide off this one."

"Just sit in front of me, I'll make sure you won't fall off," he said seriously. "I've been riding for years, you'll be perfectly safe with me."

He swung her up on to the creature's back, then jumped up behind her. An arm appeared on each side of her to take the reins. Her throat was suddenly dry as she felt him settle her against his body and kick the horse into action. The movement of the horse was rather unpleasant as she soon realised it had a very large backbone which she landed on regularly with every stride the horse took. This, coupled with the sensation of Akkarin's body pressed into hers, led her to experience a feeling of acute discomfort.

After a few miles, it was obvious that Sonea was suffering. As they neared another wooded area, Akkarin steered the horse off the track and jumped down. He held out his arms to help Sonea and she had the fleeting, but very pleasant, sensation of being held in his arms as she floated down to earth.

"Now, what can we do?" he mused, looking around for inspiration.

After a few moments, he divested himself of his thin cloak and stared intently at it. Under Sonea's fascinated gaze, he used magic to construct a padded bundle, with two long straps hanging down. These he deftly tied around the horse so that the padded area covered the backbone.

"It's not particularly good," he said, "But it may prevent the worst of the discomfort."

"Well, you could at least have made a proper saddle!" she said, trying to make a joke of it.

Unfortunately, the humour seemed to have escaped Akkarin, because he said sharply, "I don't want to waste any of my strength unless I absolutely have to. Making a proper saddle would be a reckless misuse of power."

There was no answer to that, so she turned away and wandered deeper amongst the trees. After a few minutes, she became aware that Akkarin had followed her. He called her name and when she turned around, he said, "It would be so much easier if I found you somewhere to stay safely until I can find out what's going on. You wouldn't have to ride this old horse and suffer the aches and pains I can tell you're feeling now. I could travel much faster and get to Imardin sooner."

"I'm tired of this argument," she said fiercely. "We've had it over and over. When will you get it into your thick head that I'm not staying behind anywhere? Where you go, I go and that's the end of it. I can put up with the horse. And I can put up with you."

He stared at her for a moment, a strange look in his eyes, before he shrugged and turned back to the horse.

"As you wish, we leave in five minutes."

She watched him move away to where the horse was cropping some grass. There was something eating at him, she could tell, and it wasn't just the events at the Fort, or the threat to the Guild. It was almost as if he couldn't bear to be in her company. _ Perhaps I should start a learned discussion on the intricacies of some obscure spell, _she thought angrily. _Perhaps he would take me more seriously then. _And the words he'd used a few days ago came back to haunt her '…inexperienced…' and '…disobedient…'

"He makes me disobedient with his stupid attempts to get rid of me!" she mumbled out loud. "As for inexperienced, whose fault it that? He won't teach me anything!"

By this time, she'd reached the horse. Akkarin was standing by its head, stroking its nose. The horse looked unimpressed.

"I'm sorry if you thought I was ungrateful," she began stiffly. "I'm sure the padding will be a great help."

"Well, you'll soon find out."

He lifted her on to the horse and she settled herself on the padding. It certainly felt better, but the horse hadn't moved yet. She felt him leap up behind her and grab the reins. He clicked at the horse and it began to walk back to the trail, once there, he kicked it into a trot. Sonea felt herself tense in anticipation, but she found to her surprise that it was certainly more comfortable.

She said as much to Akkarin who replied, "Good, because we have a long ride ahead of us."


	10. Akkarin's Plan

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Akkarin's Plan**

_Sometimes,_ Sonea thought miserably, _I wish Akkarin would simply_ _avoid being absolutely accurate when he tells me something. _The long ride he had promised was exactly that. They had been travelling continuously since he had made the cloth saddle for her. At first, the horse had moved at a fairly quick pace, but now, even the strong plough horse was feeling tired, so their rate of progress had been reduced to a walk.

For much of the time, she had been concentrating on adjusting her seat to the rhythms of the horse's gait and after so many hours of practice, she seemed to have finally got it right so it ceased to worry her as much. Much more of a worry was the nearness of Akkarin, seated behind her with his arms holding her lightly in place, as he handled the reins. She was extremely conscious of the feel of his body against hers, in one way, it was delicious torture and she was glad he couldn't see her face to read her surface thoughts. On the other hand, she was also very much aware that he held himself stiffly, as if her nearness was a trial he was reluctant to endure.

She kept telling herself that it didn't matter, that all she could hope for was a working partnership, but deep down, she simply knew that wasn't true, it did matter, very much, and it was driving her to distraction. So much so, she was tempted to say to him she would stay behind, simply to get away from the overwhelming feelings of rejection she picked up from the way he treated her.

These lapses into self-pity annoyed her at the same time she was indulging in them. _What is happening to me?_ she kept asking herself, Where_ has that self-reliant Novice, Sonea, disappeared to? _In all her early trials and tribulations at the Guild, when she had been so badly treated by her classmates and sneered at as a dwell by many magicians, she had never fallen into such whining self-pity. _If this is what love reduces you to, I don't want it! I will be strong and overcome this, _she promised herself. _I've done it before, many times, and I will again._ To that end, she ruthlessly suppressed any more thoughts of a personal nature and resumed her Warrior training mental exercises; they at least prevented any other thoughts from intruding.

As the sun rose high in the sky and it looked as if the journey would never end, she finally asked her companion where they were going.

"We're not too far from Coldbridge," he replied, "I aim to camp around half-an-hour's walking distance from the town and then go into the centre, to see what I can find out from the locals."

She thought about this for a moment, before saying, "I think we should both go, we can split up in the town and cover the ground in half the time. Besides, I may find that people will overlook a young lad wandering around, whereas they may be more circumspect in front of an older person."

Much to Sonea's surprise, Akkarin agreed without argument. _That's a first!_ She smiled inwardly at her victory and hoped it would be the first of many.

They found a tumbled-down mill by the side of the river in which to stay over night. There were several buildings, and one of them, a small barn-like structure, had retained its roof, walls and windows. It had obviously been a store for grain because it still had remnants of its hayloft with decaying bundles of wheat. Sonea made short work of setting up sleeping places and Akkarin secured the horse in an area with lush grass.

They set off for the town soon afterwards and when they reached it, they found a market just winding down after a day's trading. Akkarin used some of the Ichani's coins to buy bread, cheese and a bottle of the local wine. Sonea found a stall selling bruised fruit cheaply and secured a large bagful. After making their purchases, they arranged to meet up at the local bol house in half an hour's time and went off in different directions.

Sonea was the first to arrive at the bol house. She took a quick look round but couldn't see Akkarin. It was crowded with customers who'd come into town for the market and all of them seemed to be enjoying a good old gossip. She moved around, trying to look inconspicuous to see if she could pick up any information. Her earlier efforts had not proved very productive, but at least the bol house was a hive of activity with a real buzz of conversation everywhere.

When Akkarin arrived a few minutes later, she was able to tell him that there were rumours flying around of Warriors and other magicians galloping through various towns in a great hurry. It was said they were on their way to a battle or perhaps running away from one. He looked rather grim and said he'd heard something similar. Before starting their trek back to the mill, they had a quick drink. But to her disappointment, Akkarin made sure that Sonea's mug of bol had been well watered before letting her drink.

Later, over their meal of market produce, they discussed what they'd heard in the town. Akkarin was grim-faced when they discussed the rumours of Warriors seen galloping through the countryside.

"I knew they would try something like that," he said in exasperation. "They think it's just a few magicians with a little extra skill, because they don't understand black magic at all. If Balkan has sent Warriors to face the Ichani, he can write them off immediately. None will be coming back," and he repeated what he'd said before, "Such a waste."

"Why would people think the Warriors were running away?" she asked curiously. "I thought people admired them."

He shook his head, "I don't know unless word about what happened, what truly happened at the Fort, has got out and people realise the sort of enemy they're facing."

Sonea was pleased to see Akkarin in such a talkative mood and wondered if the mug of bol, followed by the bottle of local wine they'd finished with their meal, had something to do with it. Whatever the reason, she felt it was her chance to find out what he was planning.

"If you'd still been High Lord, what would you be doing now?"

He was silent for a moment, "I would concentrate our strength around the Guild. That's the Ichani target, to take as many magicians as they can in one place, kill them and absorb their power. Once they'd done that, no one could stand against them. That has to be prevented at all costs. I would have all the Warriors in position to prevent an Ichani breakthrough. I would feed them power from other magicians, so they would be strong enough to repel a sustained attack. It's worse than useless to send out small groups to attack them on the road." He sighed, "Of course I'd know what I was doing! The Guild is now operating in the dark."

He stared directly at Sonea, "If you had stayed where I intended you to stay, you'd be able to help them defend properly. They would have some idea, at least, what they're facing."

Sonea didn't want to start that subject up again, so she was quick to ask another question. "What do you intend to do? I don't understand why you won't answer the Guild, they obviously believe you now, so you could put your original plan into action."

He gave a short bark of laughter, "You are a child, Sonea, if you think the Guild will readily follow my orders ever again! No, they want to drain me of my knowledge, but not do what I recommend. They will take the information, then do something inept with it. I have to remain free of the Guild, so I can deal with the Ichani."

Sonea looked at him curiously. He was so confident that he was right, but that was one of his most abiding characteristics. Many would call him arrogant, but as far as she knew, he tended to be right about most things. _But was he right this time? _She had no way of knowing.

"So your plan is that we fight the Ichani on our own?"

"Yes, with the proper strategy, we can defeat them. They are individuals, they don't act in concert and that is where we can pick them off, one by one, fighting house by house if necessary."

She considered his words carefully. She could see the logic and felt the plan might work, but could two black magicians prevail against a dozen or more opponents? That was the key question. She puzzled over it for a moment. Then she realised, his original plan counted on her not being part of it; it would be one against twelve or more, not two.

"This is what you were going to do on your own, if I'd stayed behind?" she asked.

He looked down at his hands, and paused. She began to wonder if he would answer, but eventually he looked up at her, "I don't necessarily expect to survive the experience, but yes, that has always been my plan."

At his words, the breath left her body. _He expects to die_. She could see it all now. His intention was to use the twists and turns of the city to harry and chase the Ichani, killing one after another for as long as he could hold out, hoping that he could do enough to prevent the destruction of the Guild before he was killed. The knowledge of what he intended chilled her. She went over to him and knelt down at his side.

"Akkarin, you can't do this," she said firmly. "Whatever you think, the Guild needs you alive. You are the strongest magician Kyralia has got, no one is anywhere near as powerful as you. The Guild needs you to help them in the years to come."

"They will have you, Sonea," he said softly. "You will be able to help them."

_So, he intended to keep her out of it! _She would never agree to that in a hundred years.

"I will be fighting with you," she said firmly, "Do you think I'd be hidden somewhere, watching you fight until you couldn't fight any more, and not do anything to help you?"

She could feel tears start to form and blinked furiously. It would never do to act like an emotional female. "I made a promise to look after you," she went on steadily, "That means I shall be with you, whatever you choose to do, helping you to stay alive."

She felt his hand unexpectedly brush her hair and saw he was staring at her, a strange expression in his eyes. Her heart began to beat painfully in her chest as she returned his stare. It seemed as if they stayed like that for hours, but it could only have been a few seconds. She didn't think; she acted. She took hold of his hands and pulled him forward slightly, then wrapping her arms around his neck, she pressed her mouth to his.

She felt his body stiffen for a moment, then he stood up, taking her with him, his arms around her, straining her close to him and his mouth was hard upon hers, forcing her lips apart. She could taste wine on his lips and tongue and feel the soft fur of his beard tickle against her skin as the kiss deepened. She could feel a hot sweet pain stab through her belly and down between her legs as she pressed harder and harder against him.

All of a sudden, Akkarin broke away from her, and she was left, standing alone.

"What…." she began, but he interrupted her.

"No, Sonea." his voice was low, but it was unmistakably a command. "This cannot continue. I think you should get some rest. We must leave before first light tomorrow."

"I think we need to talk about this, Akkarin." She tried to keep the hurt from her voice. "We can't pretend it didn't happen."

"These sorts of things happen, when people are thrown together, but it doesn't really mean anything. Having the wine this evening was probably a mistake. We'll regret this in the morning and will probably feel very embarrassed about it all. It's best to forget it."

Akkarin delivered his little speech without looking at her. His usually pale face was tinged with pink and she could see he was already embarrassed. She, on the other hand, was delighted. She couldn't be mistaken, he had feelings for her, she could feel it in his kiss and the way he held her. It would be an error to push things now, though. She would need to plan her campaign carefully.

"All right, Akkarin, if you say so," she said carefully.

She saw the relief flash across his face. _I'll give you something to think about, though_, she thought.

"I'll go to sleep, then."

She walked over to him; he watched her come warily, but made no move to avoid her. She stretched up and kissed him softly, running her tongue around his lips oh so gently. He kept perfectly still, his arms by his sides, but she thought she could feel a tremor in the mouth under her own.


	11. An Unwelcome Interruption

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**An Unwelcome Interruption**

That night, she had her first vivid dream of Akkarin. He was lying stretched out on his cloak, head propped up on his bent arm, smiling at her. This was the old Akkarin, clean-shaven, with long flowing hair, his silken robes open to the waist, so that she could see the pale flesh of his chest. It seemed as if she were standing to one side, watching herself as though she was looking at a play. She was wearing something floating and flimsy and, in her dream, she was thinking about how soon she could take it off.

She watched herself kneel down on his cloak and run her hands over his chest, bending to kiss him as she slid down his body to lie in his arms. She rubbed her face on his skin, enjoying its smoothness and warmth. She could taste him now, that hard to define taste which lingered on her lips. She heard him whisper her name, "Sonea, Sonea."

Then she felt someone tap her arm sharply and opened her eyes to find Akkarin standing over her calling her name.

"It's time to get ready," he said. "We leave in half-an-hour."

She struggled to free herself from the dream but by the time she had truly woken, he had gone, leaving her alone. She smiled to herself, the dream had great potential and she hoped to rejoin it soon. Outside, she found Akkarin preparing the horse, which looked rather unhappy at being removed from its fresh grass supply. There was a piece of bread with the last of the cheese left out for her and she nibbled it absent-mindedly.

A few minutes later and they were off, the horse, reinvigorated by its rest, striding out at a good pace. Sonea was conscious that this morning, Akkarin was taking even greater care not to let his body touch hers more than absolutely necessary. Now she knew the reason for his reluctance, she didn't mind. It wasn't that he disliked her; rather it was he liked her too much. _I'll have to see what I can do about that_, she thought happily.

By the time the sun was at its height, they had covered a lot of ground. The route Akkarin had chosen was quiet, with only the occasional traveller on the road. There were few houses, but in one small village, they paused to purchase a couple of meat pies and more bread and cheese. Akkarin pointedly ignored the wine stall.

"It was lucky we found the coins," Sonea remarked, "Otherwise you would have to add food stealing to the list of your crimes."

Akkarin shot her a wary look, almost as if he expected her to say or do something unexpected. She laughed inwardly, _Oh, you just wait_, she promised him silently, _You're not the only one to have plans._

They found a quiet spot away from the road to eat. Sonea was careful to talk about ordinary things, leaving aside the awkward topic of what they were going to do when they reached the city. Likewise, she made no mention of their personal relationship. As soon as the last of his food had disappeared, Akkarin went off on his own. He didn't explain what he was doing and although she was intensely curious, Sonea refused to ask him.

She lay back, taking advantage of a warm patch of sunlight. She closed her eyes and thought about what had happened yesterday. It had been totally unplanned; she had simply taken advantage of the particular circumstances fate had given her. Now, she wondered at her impudence. How had she dared to kiss him, not once but twice? She giggled at the memory. Akkarin had been taken completely by surprise and for a moment, she sensed he had no idea what to do, then, something, _What?_ had taken over and he'd responded in the way she had been dreaming of for days.

Yes, he certainly had feelings for her, although he had successfully kept them hidden until she'd kissed him. She replayed the event in her mind, trying to recapture exactly the sequence and how she had felt. She remembered the expression on his face as he pulled her into his arms, it held some deep emotion, but she couldn't be sure exactly what it was. His eyes had blazed into hers for a moment, before he closed them as his mouth captured hers. After that, her memories were hazy. All she knew was she had to repeat the experience as soon as possible.

She was pleasantly drowsy, lying in the sun, listening to birdsong, waiting for Akkarin to return. Then, all of a sudden, she thought _Yes, he has feelings, but what sort of feelings? _She sat up hurriedly. Her experiences with men were strictly limited; Cery when she was young, Dorrien later on. And with neither of them had she indulged in anything more than a casual kiss or two, or the sedate holding of hands. Cery had been more of a companion, a brother, with whom she could get into mischief. She knew he was fond of her, but guessed he was probably fonder of her than she was of him. Certainly, she had never contemplated any romantic relationship with him.

Dorrien had been different. Perhaps it was because he was Rothen's son, and perhaps it was because of her interest in Healing, but she had thought seriously about a future with him. He'd made it sound so reasonable, so logical and she'd gone along with his idea of them working together in his village. It was easy to do so, because it would be several years before she would have to make a final decision. The last time she had seen him, before he left the Guild, he had pressed her for an answer. He had held her in his arms and kissed her, and it seemed to her now that his kisses were undemanding and unexciting, but at the time, she had been flattered at his obvious interest in her. No other magician had seen past her dwell status, but Dorrien seemed to think that would be particularly useful in her future Healing work. She had managed to avoid giving him a specific answer but he'd gone away in a happy mood, convinced she would be his in the near future.

She smiled bitterly, I_ wonder what he thinks of me now? _Although she had been serious in her proposal that they go to Dorrien for help, she knew Akkarin had been right to refuse. _Yes, as far as Dorrien is concerned, I am an evil black magician and probably, in his eyes, something worse, Akkarin's whore._

Her reminiscences about Cery and Dorrien brought her back to her original question, what sort of feelings did Akkarin have for his former Novice? They didn't appear to be the brotherly feelings of Cery or the pragmatic feelings of Dorrien. _Perhaps they are simply feelings of lust, _she thought. _Perhaps all he wants to do is satisfy some passing urge! _She contemplated that thought for a while. It would certainly fit with what she knew of him, a man with no lover, a man who never made romantic gestures to any of the women who entered his orbit. _How do I feel about that? _She didn't know. She knew she wanted to make love with him, to lie in his arms, to feel his body enclose her own and his mouth take charge of hers. If the fact that it was simple lust which led him to fulfil her own desires, did it really matter? She would be getting what she wanted, after all. _And after his lust is satisfied? What then? _That was something else she didn't know.

Her introspection was interrupted by Akkarin's return. He appeared silently at her side and made a gesture for her to remain quiet.

"A Guild patrol," he hissed. "I saw them on the road not far from here. We must leave now."

In a matter of moments, they were on their way, leaving the road for a trail barely noticeable to the untrained eye. Again, Sonea marvelled at Akkarin's ability to know exactly where they were and which direction to go. She would never have been able to find her way anywhere outside Imardin without him. They travelled for some time at a swift pace, before Akkarin judged it was safe to slow down.

"Were they looking for us?" she asked when conversation was possible again.

"I listened in to some of their exchanges. They have specific orders to detain us. They had been through the village where we bought our food and suspected we might be the strangers the traders reported seeing."

"How did they know where we're likely to be?"

Akkarin snorted, "They didn't know, they are just one of a number of groups looking for us. The Guild suspects we have come back, but they don't know exactly."

They stopped for the night just as the sun was sinking behind some distant hills. There were no buildings to provide shelter this time, but they did find a hollow, surrounded by trees and shrubs, which offered some sort of protection. They finished the rest of the food, washed down with the fruit juice Akkarin had bought instead of wine. There was the usual argument about who would sleep first, and this time, Sonea was victorious. Just as Akkarin was about to roll himself up in his cloak, they both heard a strong mental message.

_Akkarin? Akkarin, the King bids you return. Akkarin? Akkarin?_

"That was Lorlen," Sonea said but before Akkarin could respond, something unexpected happened.

_AKKARIN! AKKARIN! AKKARIN! _

This mental voice was strong, much stronger than any she had heard before and it sounded unlike any one she knew. She stared at Akkarin, an unspoken question in her eyes.

"An Ichani," he said quietly. "Now the Guild will understand just how vulnerable they are. They will have to stop mental communication if they wish to have the element of surprise."

"But that will mean all sorts of things cannot be done if there are no mental messages," Sonea's voice showed her shock at Akkarin's forthright opinion. "It's almost like breathing for most of the magicians I know."

"They'll have no choice - if they recognise that interruption for what it is," Akkarin didn't sound as if he believed they would. "The Ichani are feeling confident, very confident, otherwise they would not have intervened."

"Lorlen said the King wants you back. You will have to obey him, Akkarin."

Akkarin's face was expressionless as he stared at her, "What the King wants changes nothing. He had his chance to believe me, to continue to trust me as he has all these years, but he chose not to. I choose not to respond to his….invitation."

And with that, Akkarin pulled his cloak around him and closed his eyes, ending any further attempt at conversation.


	12. Entering Imardin

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

Entering Imardin

As she sat, back against a tree, cloak pulled tightly around her, Sonea contemplated the Guild's latest message and the unexpected interruption. Although after Akkarin's warning some days ago, she'd suspected that the Ichani could hear the Guild's mental communication, it was still shocking to have it demonstrated in such a fashion. She was sure Akkarin was also right that the Guild hadn't even considered that its favoured method of communication was open to eavesdropping. That raised important questions about how much of the Guild's preparations the Ichani knew.

She found the fact it was the King who had ordered Akkarin's return curious. He had been so implacable at the Hearing and Lorlen had told them how difficult it had been to persuade Merin to agree to exile rather than the usual punishment of execution. He had appeared to take the news of Akkarin's use of black magic as a personal betrayal. _He must be very worried about something that's happened since we left. _She tried to think what that might be, then she remembered that Warriors had been sent out to intercept the Ichani_. They must have been killed, just like Akkarin said they would be._

Just thinking his name caused her thoughts to turn once again to her travelling companion. These days, she was doing a lot of thinking about him, without really arriving at the answers she sought. Earlier this evening, she'd observed that during their meal, he'd been taking every opportunity to watch her when he thought she wouldn't notice. She managed to look sideways under her lashes at him once or twice to check. If she turned her head to look at him, he immediately looked away, but once her attention was diverted elsewhere, he began watching her again. _So, despite his fine words, he's still interested. _Her heart gave a little jump at the thought.

It was some time later she heard the first sounds which told her Akkarin was dreaming again. She went over and knelt beside him, taking care not to touch his shield. Like the last time, he was moving his head from side to side as beads of sweat trickled down his face. Under his closed lids, his eyes were moving rapidly. He was mumbling in a language she didn't know and she could hear the anguish in his voice. Then the moans started, at first softly, then increasing in volume. It was this, which worried her. Sound travelled so far at night and she didn't want anyone to hear.

Then, as abruptly as they had started, the moans stopped. Whatever he'd been dreaming about was over. He was still again, only the dampness of his hair now plastered to his forehead witness to the unconscious turmoil which had accompanied the dream. Magicians didn't usually sweat and its appearance meant his magic was not in control of his bodily reactions. As she watched, he opened his eyes and for a moment it seemed he was unaware of exactly where he was. Then he saw her and a faint colour rose in his face.

"What is it?" he asked.

"You were dreaming again," she replied. "I didn't try to wake you this time."

"I've told you before, the dreams mean nothing."

"And I've told you before, you make rather loud noises and I'm worried someone will hear." Sonea's voice was sharp.

Unexpectedly, he smiled, "So you did, Sonea, so you did. I'm sorry." He sat up and unwound the cloak, "As I'm awake now, I'll take the watch and you sleep."

She didn't argue, it would have been useless. Akkarin might no longer be High Lord, but he still expected to be obeyed. She went over to her sleeping place and lay down, but sleep wouldn't come. They were within a day of reaching Imardin and she still didn't know how she was going to prevent Akkarin going off on a killing spree all on his own. She didn't even know where they were going to stay, although knowing how his mind worked, she was sure Akkarin already had that organised.

She must have fallen asleep eventually because the next thing she knew was the sound of birdsong and a bright light on her face as the sun rose in the sky. She sat up, looking for Akkarin and smiled ruefully to herself when she discovered he was not there. _Again! _She got up and shook out her cloak, using a tiny spurt of magic to clean it and the rest of her clothes. She looked around, sure there was water nearby. She found it almost instantly and took advantage of being alone to bathe. She warmed the water, such luxury, and soaked herself thoroughly. _If only I had soap… _but a plain water wash was better than no wash at all and she didn't dare try to create soap, that took quite a bit of magic and she was still reluctant to use much at all.

She got out of the water and dried herself. She had just put on her trousers and was reaching for her shirt when she became aware she was no longer alone. She looked up to find Akkarin standing not far away, his eyes averted, with a large coney in his hands. Her faced flamed. _Had he seen? Yes, he must have done otherwise why look away?_

He cleared his throat, and still not looking in her direction, he said gruffly, "I've found breakfast." He turned and disappeared from view, leaving Sonea to get dressed. Underneath her embarrassment was a tiny thread of satisfaction at his discomfort.

When she joined him, he had skinned the animal and cooked it. There was no bread or vegetables to go with it, but the meat was tender and juicy so they both ate with great enjoyment. After their meal, Akkarin outlined what they must do next.

"We'll reach the outskirts of Imardin late this afternoon. We'll have to get rid of the horse and I know a place where I can sell him. With the money, we can get some better clothes. I've arranged for someone to meet us and take us to a place where we can stay."

"Who will meet us?" she asked in a surprised tone. "When did you arrange this?"

But Akkarin only smiled enigmatically, "Wait and see!"

They reached a settlement just outside the city limits a few hours later. It was a busy little place, with lots of merchants and stallholders crying their wares. Akkarin steered the horse through the winding streets until they reached a stable-yard. Sonea slid down and as arranged, left Akkarin alone to make a deal for sale of the horse. She wandered away until she found a few market stalls. She walked slowly around. She could see they were not well stocked and the produce looked bruised and not of good quality. Still it was a popular spot and there were many women haggling for bargains.

"Sym? Sym, where are you?" It took Sonea a few moments to realise that Akkarin was looking for her and he didn't sound very happy.

"Here, Verin," she replied quickly, suppressing a grin at the use of unfamiliar names.

Akkarin looked rather cross as he caught up with her. "I've told you before, lad, don't go wandering off," he said in annoyance and a couple of women at a nearby stall sniggered as Sonea couldn't prevent a blush from forming.

"Sorry," she mumbled, not daring to look at him.

"You want to be stricter with that young apprentice," one of the women called out, "They're always quick to take advantage!"

Akkarin nodded at her, "This one is a particular trial," he said, "Always getting into trouble, never does anything he's told."

He took her arm and pulled her away down a side street. Sonea couldn't prevent a giggle escaping her and he gave her a sharp look.

"It's no laughing matter. We could easily be separated in the city and I don't want to have to worry about what trouble you've got involved in all the time. Now come along, we've a fair way to go yet, but first….."

Akkarin stopped near a second-hand clothing stall and began sorting through the piles of garments. A few minutes later, Sonea found herself in possession of a cap, typically worn by apprentices, a new cloak, an extra shirt and a pair of loose trousers. Akkarin found a change of clothing for himself. From another stall, they bought new pairs of boots. Then suitably equipped, they set off for Imardin.

They entered the city through the Northern Gate, choosing a time when there were a lot of people returning home from a day's work in the countryside. Both wore caps pulled well down over their faces, just in case they came across someone who might recognise them. Sonea thought that was most unlikely. Akkarin, with his cropped hair and beard, shabby clothes and slightly stooped walk, looked nothing like the impressive and elegant High Lord. She was also quite different from the High Lord's Favourite, lacking the finely made robes and the aura which went with being a Guild magician.

As they moved into the streets, Sonea was suddenly struck by feelings of anger and humiliation. At first, she couldn't understand why, then she realised they had reached one of the points in the city where they had been forced to stop while their crimes were announced to the population. She remembered the jeers and chants from the crowd, excited by the rare spectacle of disgraced magicians, and the rotten fruit and other things they had thrown at them. She stole at glance at Akkarin and saw from his fixed expression that he remembered it too.

Without thinking, she reached out and put her hand on his arm. "We'll make it right," she said, "They will have to take it all back and treat us properly. Recognise us for what we are, true and loyal Guild magicians."

He glanced down and gave her one of his rare smiles, "Brave, foolish S…Sym," he said softly, "I hope for your sake, that you succeed."

Faced with this fresh evidence that Akkarin expected to die, Sonea felt herself grow cold. Part of her, the superstitious dwell part, thought that if you said something often enough it would inevitably come true. She hastened to dispel such a thing, speaking quickly.

"Verin," she said earnestly, "I won't let you die. We will defeat the Ichani together. I know we can do it."

He said nothing for a moment, then to her great surprise, he took her hand from his arm and briefly raised it to his lips. "I am very glad you came with me," he said quietly.

He turned before she had a chance to react, and strode off, leaving her no option but to follow. She was filled with warm feelings of joy and elation. Those eight little words meant so much to her and she treasured them, saying them over and over again. She had given up hope of his ever saying anything like them and it gave her confidence that things would work out between them.

She hurriedly caught up with him as they moved swiftly from one narrow side street to another. She didn't know this part of the city at all and had no idea where they were going. After a while, Akkarin stopped outside a bol house. It was a poor example, the building was falling apart and inside, the tables and chairs were shabby and the bar had seen better days. They pushed their way though throngs of labourers to the counter where Akkarin ordered two mugs of bol, Sonea's of course, well watered. They carried their drinks over to the one empty table. She soon knew why no one was using it. The table was close to the door to the latrine area and was bathed in a rather ripe smell. She wrinkled her nose, but Akkarin ignored her pleading look and sat down, indicating that she should do the same. She buried her face in the drink. At least bol had a strong smell all of its own and while it wasn't her favourite odour, it was a definite improvement on the latrine.

She sipped slowly wishing they could get outside into the fresh air, but Akkarin made no move to leave. After a time, the smell became less intrusive as her nose adjusted to it and she began to glance around at their fellow drinkers. Most of them were from the poorest sections of the population, dwells, of course, and for the first time, Sonea felt she was no longer one of them. _I have been a magician too long_, she thought. _I've lost my connection to my roots and become one of Them. _She was uncertain what she truly felt about that.

She buried her face in the mug again, to drain the last of the bol.

"Verin, Sym," a voice said close to her. Sonea looked up, startled, and stared into the laughing eyes of Takan.


	13. Takan

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Takan**

_Blood gem! _How could she have been so stupid as to have forgotten Akkarin and Takan were linked? He must have been talking to Takan right from the start. _No wonder he kept going off on his own_, she thought. Although communication through a blood gem was silent, there were signs, if you knew what to look for, which told a watcher that some internal conversations were taking place. She felt furious with Akkarin. He obviously didn't trust her at all, otherwise he would have explained.

She glanced over at Akkarin. He was regarding her with a faint smile on his face, as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. _And he probably did with his talent at mind reading._ She smiled back at him, an open, nothing-to-conceal sort of smile, before turning to the servant, saying, "Takan, what a pleasant surprise."

Takan nodded, "You're both looking well," he replied. "Have you been getting enough to eat?"

Takan's obsession with food had obviously not been affected by recent events. To him food and cooking were a sublime art and one he practised as much as possible. Sonea couldn't help it, she laughed. Suddenly things felt back to normal, she could almost imagine that in a few moments, they would be setting off for the Residence.

"We need to get out of public view," Akkarin said quietly. "Is it far from here?"

Takan taken shook his head, "I'll take you, just follow me."

He led them through a bewildering series of narrow, twisting alleys, past rows of dilapidated buildings. This was obviously not the best part of the city. Sonea had never ventured into this area, even when she was running wild with Cery and the others. It had a very bad reputation even amongst the dwells. Looking around her, she could see its reputation was fully justified. The few people out and about looked particularly disreputable, as if they would stick a knife in you first and ask questions later. She was afraid to meet their gaze.

Eventually, Takan stopped outside a run-down building. This one, unlike its neighbours, had a stout front door and all the windows were still in place. Takan fiddled with the lock and the door opened with a protesting creak. He stood back and motioned for them to go inside. He quickly followed them in and locked and bolted the door behind them.

They were in a long dark passage, with several doors off it. Takan ignored all of them and walked to the far end. There was another door there, carefully constructed so that it was almost completely hidden. Takan knocked a complicated series of knocks and after a moment, the door opened, letting a shaft of light into the passage.

Sonea followed Akkarin and Takan into a room and was surprised to find it comfortably furnished, with a cheerful fire in the grate and plenty of candles to provide a good light. She looked around, but didn't see any other people in the room. _Who had let them in and where had he or she gone? _Takan must have noticed her confusion, because he said, "There's no one else here now. The guard has gone."

Akkarin went over to a large chair and sat down. He looked a little tired mixed with a quiet satisfaction at being back in Imardin. Sonea took the chair opposite, sighing with pleasure, her new boots were rather tight and her feet ached, it felt so good to sit down comfortably again.

"No doubt you would like some food," Takan said so expectantly, that Sonea burst out laughing.

"I really feel I'm home again, with you worrying about food, Takan," she said with a grin.

Takan smiled back, then disappeared through a door towards the end of the room. Sonea looked around and noticed another door almost opposite the fireplace. The place chosen for their refuge was larger than she first thought. _Now is the time for some proper answers_, she thought and looked directly at Akkarin.

"So, we stay here, then?" she asked. "How long?"

"It's a place of refuge for the moment," he replied. "I am expecting some visitors later."

She eyed him speculatively, "You've been planning this for a long time, haven't you?"

He ignored her question, got up and walked over to a side table. There was a selection of bottles and glasses set out. He picked up a bottle and looked over at her, "Wine?" he asked.

She nodded and watched as he poured two large glasses of the dark red wine he favoured. Handing one to her, he sat down again and glanced calmly at her over the rim of his glass.

"I had to consider the possibility of discovery right from the start, and especially once you'd found out my secret. I had to have alternative arrangements in place. This struggle against the Ichani is much too important to be left to chance. Did you seriously think I would just come back to the city with nowhere to go and no plan in place?" Akkarin took a long swallow of his wine, never taking his eyes off her.

Sonea sighed. Of course Akkarin would have had plans. He always did. Nothing seemed to unsettle him, even when they'd found the magicians in his underground room, he'd remained calm and composed. He had long been regarded as one of the better High Lords in relation to his diplomatic efforts, so she should have realised that he had a strategy in mind. The only problem, as far as she was concerned, was that he had little concern for his own survival.

"Yes, I should have realised you had thought things through thoroughly, and no, I didn't!" she said ruefully, giving him a brief smile. "So who are you expecting?"

He hesitated, she could see he was still reluctant to tell her, then he seemed to relent and decided to let her in on some of his plans, "There is a group of people in the city who watch out for any Ichanis sent to test me. They don't know, of course, who the Ichani actually are, only that I pay handsomely for information. Their leaders will be coming tonight."

She thought this over; yes, it made perfect sense. She knew from her time in the city that payment for information was a lucrative part of many groups' income. The Thieves, in particular, always seemed to know what was going on and were willing to sell their knowledge to the highest bidder, as long as it didn't threaten their own position.

"What happens next?"

"My visitors will keep a look out for the Ichani force nearing the city. When they get to within a distance I have specified, they will let me know."

"Will you warn the Guild?"

"No, they would not believe me, they would think it merely part of my plan to defeat them with my forbidden magic." Akkarin's voice held something of his bitterness and frustration.

Just as Sonea was about to reply, Akkarin suddenly stood up, his face displaying all the signs of someone listening to an internal message. She could hear nothing, so she watched carefully as his face changed subtly, then he said, "I must go. Wait here."

_As if she had a choice! _He moved swiftly to the far door and disappeared through it without saying anything more. Sonea got up and poured herself another glass of wine. She was beginning to be rather fond of Anuren Dark. Briefly she wondered if she would be able to persuade him to drink some more, she had rather good memories of the last time they had both had wine. She paused for a few seconds, mentally reviewing the kisses they'd exchanged. Yes, the memories were good, but more practical experience would be even better! Just as she was regaining her seat, Taken came back into the room. He seemed unsurprised to find her alone.

"You have kept your promise, my lady," he said, looking at her intently. "Akkarin is alive and well. Do you wish to be relieved of it now he is back in the city?"

"No!" she said sharply, then stopped as the hot colour flooded her cheeks under Takan's amused gaze. "I…I'm happy to continue," she finished.

The servant said nothing for a moment, simply staring at her as if he wanted to delve into her most intimate thoughts, then he came to sit beside her.

"You feel very strongly about Akkarin, then," he said, stating a fact, not asking a question. "I am pleased, he needs a companion; he has been alone too long."

"You have known him a long time, haven't you Taken?" she asked and when he nodded, she went on, "Has he always been alone?"

Takan was silent, his face almost as impassive as his master's. "It is not my place to speak of such things, my lady," he said eventually.

She turned impulsively towards him, "Takan, there's no-one else to ask and I have so many questions. Please help me! If you want me to be Akkarin's companion, as you put it, you have to help me break through the barriers he has surrounding him."

"So, you are not lovers, then?" Takan frowned. "I thought you would have been, after all this time alone in the wastelands."

She eyed him curiously, "Is that what you thought? Is that why you made me promise to look after him, that we would become lovers?"

"I didn't know exactly, but I hoped being alone together in such a hostile place would bring you closer together," he looked at her and smiled, "It was obvious to me that you were beginning to become fond of him."

She grimaced, "Well, it wasn't obvious to me until a few days ago! I have no real idea what he feels about me, either."

"He's a strong man, my lady, but very strong things can break if you put too much pressure on them. He needs a reason to think more carefully about what he must do. If you were lovers, he would have to think about you."

"So you know he thinks he will not survive the struggle against the Ichani?" she said sharply.

"Yes." Takan's voice was bleak.

"It's not easy, Takan. He rejected me, when I tried to let him know how I felt." Sonea's voice was equally bleak.

"He is not immune to you, my lady."

Sonea stared at him in surprise. _How could he know that? _Takan's smile widened, "Blood gem," he said.

She frowned as she tried to remember everything Akkarin had ever said about blood gems. She knew he'd made one for Lorlen to control him and, of course, Takan had one. Blood gems allowed the maker to hear the thoughts and even the conversations of the wearer. It was even possible to see what the wearer saw. But what else?

Taking pity on her, Takan explained, "I can sense his moods sometimes, my lady, not in any detail, but I can get impressions of what he's feeling. He thinks about you a lot, and it causes him a lot of emotional turmoil."

Sonea had just opened her mouth to ask a question, when the door flew open and Akkarin stalked into the room. One glance at his face told her he was furious. Takan immediately dropped to his knees in front of him and bowed his head.

"Master," he said in a quiet voice.

"How dare you take it upon yourself to interfere in things which are not your concern."

Akkarin's quiet voice was all the more terrifying because he sounded so calm, with no hint of the anger which was obvious in his face.

Takan hunched closer to the ground until his forehead was almost touching it, "Master," he repeated, "Master, forgive me."

Akkarin stared down at his servant, "Get back to your kitchen and stay there until I send for you."


	14. Sonea

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Sonea**

Throughout the exchanges between Akkarin and Takan, Sonea had busied herself with pouring two more glasses of wine. As the door closed behind the servant, she turned and held one out to Akkarin. For a moment she thought he wasn't going to take it, but then he did so. She waited for the inevitable storm to would break about her head. It was not long in coming.

"Sit down, Sonea." There was no warmth in his tone.

She sat, nervously fiddling with the glass in her hand. She looked across at Akkarin, who was staring at her, his eyes narrowed and his face an unreadable mask. She felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny but forced herself to remain still. She hoped her facial expression was as calm as his, but she wouldn't like to bet her life on it.

"From the beginning, you have been a disobedient novice, ignoring anything which didn't fit into what you consider to be right and proper, arguing over everything I asked you do to, refusing to behave as a novice should behave towards her guardian."

Sonea's mouth dropped open in surprise, "…behave as a novice should behave…" she repeated incredulously, "When you forced me to be your Novice because…."

"Because you'd been going where you shouldn't have been going and finding out things you were never meant to know!" he interrupted coldly. "What choice did I have?"

She shut her mouth, biting back the hot words she knew she'd regret later. She took a breath and made an effort to calm down, "That's all in the past now, Akkarin," she said quietly. "We are both on the same side now, doing the same thing, trying to defeat the Ichani."

He sipped his wine, never taking his eyes off her. "Yes, we're on the same side, but still you disobey my orders. I asked you not to come to Imardin, but to stay somewhere safe, yet here you are, still being difficult and causing trouble. But even before that, you refused to stay in the Guild and wrecked my careful plan to provide it with a black magician of its own. Going back even further, how did Guild magicians discover my secret?"

She stared at him, the colour draining from her face, she knew what he was going to say and she had no defence against it.

"I asked you to keep the black magic books you were studying carefully hidden, yet they were easily found in your room, with all the consequences you are familiar with. Without the evidence of those books, nothing could have been proved against me. The underground room would not have been found and the Ichani would not now be marching towards Imardin. Yes, you were disobedient at the start and you are disobedient now."

He tossed the last of his wine down his throat and rose to refill his glass. She could feel the tears pricking at her eyelids but refused to give in to them. She gulped down her own wine, feeling its warmth spread as she swallowed. She waited until he had returned to his seat, before refilling her own glass.

Sitting down again, she spoke quickly, "All right, it's true. I have not carried out all your commands in the way you would like, but apart from not hiding the books as well as I should have done, the other things were done to help you, to keep you safe, to make sure you can do what you need to do."

"So you have said, over and over. What is your excuse for interrogating my servant and getting him to betray confidences?"

_Now we come to it_, she thought. She swallowed half the contents of her glass quickly, feeling the courage which wine can bring, flood through her.

"Since we've been alone together, I've discovered I have very deep feelings for you and despite everything you've done to discourage me, these feelings grow stronger and stronger each day. You won't talk to me about it. You pretend my feelings don't exist. What am I supposed to do? Takan is the only other person who can help me, if you won't!"

Her voice rose as she was speaking, until by the last sentence she was almost shouting; she hoped that there was no one nearby to hear. Akkarin continued to stare at her, his face expressionless. She wanted to throw something at him, anything, just make him react, to knock that smooth mask off his face.

"You are very young, Sonea," he began patiently, "With little experience of these sorts of things. It's just a natural feeling because we've been put into a difficult situation and for most of the time, there was only each other to rely on. It will pass, once your circumstances change."

His voice was full of understanding and the points he made were logical, but, as she knew quite well, completely wrong. She needed to prove to him the strength of her feelings.

"Truth read me," she said quietly.

"What?" Akkarin said, disbelief strong in his voice.

"Truth read me, you're the best in the Guild at it, so you'll know I speak the truth."

"Truth reading is not something to be used lightly." His tone was full of disapproval and dismissal.

She shot him an angry look, "You're afraid you'll find I'm telling the truth! Then what would you do?"

He made no answer, but simply continued to sip his wine. This was no good. _I have to do something,_ she thought in desperation, _Any minute now, he'll get up and go and nothing will have been resolved. _She was running out of options, the only real one she had left was the truth. She rose and went over to him, dropping to the floor by the side of his chair.

She took his hand, and looking up at him, she said softly, "Akkarin, in spite of everything that has happened and without my even wanting it to happen, I've fallen deeply in love with you. At first, I thought it was only an infatuation, just like you said, something which happened because we were thrown together. But it's not like that at all. I think it was already there, when we were still at the Guild, but I just didn't know it. Now I do know it, I know what I feel about you and it's not going to conveniently go away. What I need to know, is what you feel about me."

She paused, but he didn't speak, just continued to look down at his hand, which lay unmoving in her own, as if he had never seen it before.

"I know you feel something," she persisted, "I could tell when I kissed you that there was something there. I just don't know what. You have to tell me."

Finally he dragged his gaze away from his hand and looked at her. There was a faint colour in his cheeks as he let out his breath in a rush, almost as if he hadn't breathed while she was speaking. When he did start to speak, his words were not what she expected him to say.

"There are very good reasons for the rules about relationships between guardians and novices. Novices live, unchaperoned, in the houses of their guardians, with no regard given to age or sex, and it would be easy for a young female novice, for example, to develop strong feelings for an older male magician. In my house, there was only you and I and Takan, a situation which could have been very difficult. In many ways, I was pleased you disliked me because it meant that no problems of a personal relationship would arise between us."

He disengaged his hand from hers and stood up, "I need more wine, another for you?"

She sat back on her heels and nodded. Akkarin collected the glasses and poured the wine. He put the now empty bottle down and looked at the remaining full ones, "There are four more, so there should be enough!"

She smiled briefly at his attempt at humour and accepted her glass gratefully. He sat down again, but made no move to replace his hand.

"But you, you were so different from any other woman I'd ever known. You look at things differently; you feel things more strongly. Once you decided you believed me, you threw yourself into black magic and learnt it all quickly and thoroughly. You studied with me, you learned from me and you killed with me. I could not have asked for a better companion in the work I had to do."

She caught her breath, he was going to tell her, she knew it.

He smiled sadly as he caught the look of anticipation in her eyes, "But it won't do, Sonea. It really won't do. You are so young; I am years older than you, probably already a novice when you were born. Shut up in the Guild, you haven't even had the opportunity to meet other people your own age. You must try to forget about these wild, inappropriate feelings. It will pass in time."

"But I don't want other people!" she exclaimed. "We're not Novice and Guardian any more, so that doesn't apply. Age has nothing to do with it. I met plenty of novices of my own age in the Guild and most, if not all of them, wouldn't give me a second glance. There wasn't one of them I thought of in any way except the usual one – a fellow student. Dorrien, well, I told you about him. I didn't love him, he just offered me a possible future, that's all. It's you and only you I want." She looked directly into his eyes, "You haven't answered my question. What do you feel for me?"

"I think you are a beautiful woman, Sonea, you are brave and generous, and you deserve to be happy. You will not find happiness with me, I am a tainted man. You must try to rid yourself of these feelings."

Her mouth formed an 'o' of astonishment, "A tainted man? This has something to do with what Takan wouldn't tell me, hasn't it?"

"That's something I refuse to discuss with you and you will not question Takan again! Do you understand?"

To her dismay, cold command was back in his voice. She had run out of words, at least any words, which had the slightest chance of making Akkarin tell her what she wanted to know. That only left action. She briefly considered the risks. It might drive him away from her forever, but, they had drunk a bottle of strong wine between them and she remembered what had happened the last time.

As she had done before, she grabbed his hands and jerked him towards her. Wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, she kissed him, her mouth opening under his. Like before, she could taste the rich heavy sweetness of the wine on his lips and tongue. This time, it was she who stood up, pulling him with her. He had no will to resist, his arms enclosed her and she could feel her heart thudding against her chest. She wound her hands in his hair, pressing his face to hers, the soft bristles of his beard, tickling her skin. She let go of him, but kept possession of his mouth, pushing her hands up under his shirt until she could feel the warmth of his flesh beneath them. She felt him shudder as her hands slowly caressed his body, slipping around to his back, running her fingers up and down his spine.

Quickly, he picked her up in his arms and took a long stride before carefully laying her down in front of the fire. She watched from under her lids as he slipped out of his shirt and lay down beside her. She found herself lying in his arms, her head against the warmth of his chest, listening to the rapid pounding of his heart. She kissed his skin, little feathery kisses, relishing the taste of him, fresh and clean. She lifted her face, and felt his mouth hard against her own, forcing it open, then the quick thrust of his tongue.

His fingers undid the buttons of her shirt and she lay, exposed, before him. She risked a quick glance at him and found his eyes closed and an unfamiliar expression on his face. His hands caressed her breasts, sending waves of pleasure coursing through her. She heard herself moan as his caresses became more insistent. He bent to kiss each breast in turn, causing her body to squirm beneath his touch.

At some point, they removed their remaining clothing, but she was never able to remember afterwards exactly how or when. Her only memory of the moment was of their naked flesh sliding together, intensifying the pleasure she felt. The hot, sweet pain she remembered from the last time thrust through her belly and she arched her body beneath him as he claimed possession of her.

Her body seemed to take on a life of its own, moving with him in perfect harmony, while she gave herself up to the exquisite pleasure, which flooded into her. As the tempo increased, it seemed as if she could no longer breathe, every part of her was capable only of registering the passion which consumed her. She heard him cry out as he shuddered within her, and her own body shuddered in response as a blast of intense pleasure shot through her. As the waves of pleasure slowly diminished, they lay still, while their breathing returned to normal and their heart rate slowed, arms wrapped tightly around each other, neither wanting to speak.

_Lust or love? _She still had no answer to the question which had puzzled her after their first kisses in the wastelands. _Does it matter? _No, said her body. The pleasure is there, either option. Yes, said her heart. For things to last, it has to be love.

She felt him stir, stopping her thoughts from riding their merry-go-round. She stared as he opened his eyes and looked at her. For an instant, his face was it usual mask, but as she smiled tremulously up at him, he smiled back, before kissing her lips gently.

_Ah, Sonea_, his mental voice was different this time, _What a spell you cast on me_.

_I love you, that's my only spell_.

He shifted position, so that she was lying against him, while his arms kept her close. She didn't want to spoil the moment by speaking and she sensed that somehow, Akkarin felt the same. She lost track of time, they could have stayed like that for minutes or hours, she didn't know.

"Sonea," he said at last, "We have to talk."

She couldn't prevent her smile, "I've been asking you to talk to me for a long while."

She felt him sigh and the first feelings of dismay started to fill her_. He is going to tell me this mustn't happen again, _she thought_. I just know it!_

She put her fingers on his lips, "Before you say anything, Akkarin, listen to me. That was everything I hoped it would be. I've wanted to make love with you for a long time and now we have, it's confirmed everything I truly believe, that we are perfect together. Don't try to reduce it to nothing by saying the things you said before. Be honest with me. Tell me that was nothing, that you didn't enjoy it. Tell me my feelings aren't real. Tell me it shouldn't have happened. And, make me believe it!"

She took her fingers away, but he didn't speak, only continued to look at her intently, his dark eyes staring into hers. She sensed his struggle with himself. He wanted to deny it, she knew that, but he couldn't.

"I can't lie to you, Sonea," he said at last, "If we were an ordinary man and woman, then I would say we were made for each other. But…." He held up his hand to stop her as she started to say something, "But we are not ordinary people. And you deserve better than me. I said I was tainted, and it's true. I bring bad luck to the people who love me. I won't let you suffer because of me."

She searched his face, hoping to see that he didn't mean it, but she found nothing to give her any hope. He was still staring at her, as if he were trying to impress her face on his memory. She reached up and touched his cheek.

"If you deny me, you'll make me suffer," she said, trying to find something to bind him to her. She took one of his hands, softly kissed the palm and laid it against her cheek, "I need you so much, don't make a decision now we'll both regret."

He kissed her, a soft, gentle kiss, then rose smoothly to his feet and began to dress. She watched the long, elegant lines of his body slowly disappear from sight. When he'd finished, he held out his hand and pulled her to her feet. She reluctantly reached for her clothes. _What now?_

Akkarin poured more wine and handed her a glass. "I think we should stop drinking wine," he said with a crooked smile, "You take advantage of me every time."

She laughed, pleased that he could make a joke, "On the contrary, I'll ask Takan to order more!" She suddenly remembered Takan had been sent away in anger. "You will forgive him, won't you?" she asked anxiously, "It was all my fault. Takan loves you and would do nothing to hurt you."

"I've forgiven him already," he said, "It's myself I can't forgive."

She went over to him and laid her head on his chest. She felt his arms close round her and she felt safe and secure. She had one last thing to say, which might make him willing to continue their new relationship.

"You've said many times, Akkarin, that what we are to do is very dangerous and you might not survive it. That is true for me too, I shall be fighting alongside you and I, too, might be killed. For the time we have, let us be together, let us be lovers and bring each other what comfort we can."

"Clever, brave and foolish Sonea," he said softly, "You can so easily turn me from my purpose. Yes, then, let us be lovers for as long as we can…"


	15. Visitors

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Visitors**

Sonea could hardly bring herself to believe what had happened. After so much time thinking about Akkarin and wondering what he felt about her, and finally deciding that her case was hopeless, it now seemed to her that he'd capitulated to her persuasion almost too easily. She glanced over at him as he worked on his plans. He looked very much the same, calm and composed, writing swiftly on several different sheets of paper, covering them with notes and diagrams. She was sure that she had changed, that anyone must be able to read what had happened in her features; to know that she had just indulged in her first ever lovemaking.

She resisted the temptation of looking to see if the room included a mirror, to check. She began, idly, to wonder about the house where they were now staying. It was hard to tell how large it was, she had not gained much of an impression from outside. She supposed there must be sleeping accommodation somewhere in the building – and that created an interesting situation, one chamber or two? She hoped there would be somewhere to bathe, too. She wondered if she should explore, she had nothing else to do. She looked at Akkarin again; he was oblivious to her presence, completely absorbed in what he was doing. She wondered briefly if she should ask him. _I don't need permission_, she thought firmly and stood up, deliberately noisily, knocking her chair leg against the side table.

There was no reaction from Akkarin, so she simply opened one of the doors and went through. She found herself in another corridor, a short one this time, with a door at the end. Upon opening it, she saw it led into the kitchen where Takan was busily working over a hot fire. He looked up as she came in. She felt herself blush as she remembered what he'd told her earlier about sensing Akkarin's emotions.

"My lady?"

"I wondered if you needed any help, Takan," she said and pretended not to see the look of dismay which briefly crossed his face.

"No thank you. The meal will be ready soon," Takan added something to a bubbling pot and gave its contents a stir.

"Did you…..?" she started to ask.

"Yes, my lady, I did." Takan looked at her and smiled. "There was a great sense of happiness."

She was delighted to hear that, but couldn't bring herself to ask any more questions. It was rather embarrassing to know there was someone else involved, however remotely, in her intimate relationship with Akkarin. After confirming that Takan didn't require any help, she went off to explore further. She found a narrow twisting flight of stairs and on the next floor, there were two rooms. She opened the door to the first one and found a bedchamber, with a large bed in the middle and several chests and tables scattered around the room. The furniture was plain and old, but everything was clean. There was even a rug of sorts on the floor. The other room was empty of furniture, but there were a few large boxes stacked in a corner. She tried to open some of them, but they were locked. She wondered briefly if this room was Takan's, then decided he would probably sleep somewhere near the kitchen.

She eventually found the bathing room back on the ground floor, not far from the kitchen. It contained a reasonably sized bath together with a fireplace containing a huge hook for carrying an iron cauldron to heat the water. Luckily, now they were back in Imardin, there was no restriction on using magic, so that wouldn't be necessary. Then she remembered Akkarin's instruction to conserve power and thought perhaps he wouldn't like her to waste energy on heating water.

She heard Takan call out that the meal was ready and went back to where she'd left Akkarin. The table had been cleared of his papers and Takan was bringing in several dishes. The smell was mouth-watering and she realised just how hungry she was. Akkarin was already seated, a bottle of wine and two glasses in front of him.

"Is that wise?" she asked cheekily, nodding towards the wine, "You know what could happen."

He could move swiftly and quietly when he wanted, so she was almost taken by surprise as he quickly covered the ground between them and took a firm hold of her. He put one hand under her chin, raising her face and kissed her long and hard.

"I think now the decision has been made, wine is no longer necessary," he said fiercely.

She surrendered to his kiss, then, when she had time to breathe, she said, "Is that really true?"

"I resisted temptation for a very long time, but you broke down the walls of my resistance. I cannot fight you any more, Sonea. The deal has been struck. We are lovers, in every possible way that word means. There will be no more resistance."

"And are you truly happy?" she whispered.

"More than I deserve to be," he replied.

Takan came in with more platters of food and interrupted any further conversation, so they sat down and began to eat. It was the first proper meal they had eaten since leaving the Guild and it was obvious that Takan had not lost the knack of making food taste delicious. Both of them ate with a will and along with the food, another bottle of wine was emptied.

When the meal was over, Akkarin talked about the people he expected shortly.

"I have had a lot of help from various people in the city over the past few years and without them, it would have been a lot harder to find and track the Ichani, so I owe them a great deal. They were well paid, of course, but even so, I couldn't have managed so easily without them."

"Do they still expect to be paid?" she asked.

"Of course, they only work for money, not ideals, but I have money available, so that will not be a problem."

He began to speak of some of the work carried out by various groups of people, giving details, which he had never mentioned before. But Sonea's mind had been working on a different track and as Akkarin finished speaking, she raised the question which had been occupying her mind.

"We will need a lot of power at the start of our battle against the Ichani, won't we? Where are we going to get it from? We have Takan, but even he doesn't have enough power to give to both of us."

Akkarin smiled in approval, "Good thinking," he said as if she were a novice who had answered a teacher's testing question. "I've been considering that problem for some time. I wonder if there are many people out there like you."

"Like me?"

"Yes, I've long thought that the Guild's reliance on members of the Houses to provide magicians was very short-sighted. There must be many ordinary people in Imardin who have some magic and therefore are a source of power. The Ichani, when they capture an area, make a point of searching out people with any magic, no matter how weak. They turn them into slaves, to harvest their power daily. We should do the same, I don't mean turn them into slaves, but just absorb their power. Once we start to kill Ichani, we can simply drain them, but you're right, at the start, we need to be as full of power as we can be."

"You'll never get them to agree!" she said firmly. "Dwells hate magicians, well most of them do. They regard magic with deep suspicion and their hatred of the Guild been reinforced over decades because of the Purge."

"I shall just have to persuade them," Akkarin said mildly.

She looked at him in astonishment. "It'll take a lot to persuade them."

"I can be very persuasive," he said, a hint of smugness in his voice.

She looked at him in exasperation, "One day, Akkarin, that over-whelming confidence you'll always be right will get you into trouble!"

"It already has," he said quietly.

She flicked a glance at him. A look of deep sadness crossed his face, and she wondered again what had happened to him in Sachaka. It must have been something terrible to leave such a legacy as the awful nightmares he suffered. She wished he were not so self-contained. If only he would speak of these things, she was sure he would be better for it. _But_, she thought, _he's not the sort of man to do that and would I want him to be different? This is the man I fell in love with after all, flaws and all. _

Not long afterwards, Akkarin's visitors arrived. There were four of them and Sonea looked at each of them carefully, but she didn't know them. They all appeared to have some connection with the Thieves, but there had been many changes since her time as a dwell, and she frequently didn't know who or what they were talking about.

She sat quietly in a corner, while Akkarin questioned the men about the situation in Imardin and the surrounding countryside. It seemed that he had employed quite a large network of people to spy for him. Somehow, she had never imagined that the former High Lord would have had so much to do with ordinary city people, especially those regarded by the Houses as criminals. There was still so much more she had to learn about him.

After a period of intense discussion, Takan appeared with refreshments and the serious conversation gave way to discourse of a more relaxed and social kind. Sonea was content to observe, rather than contribute. She found it fascinating to watch the interplay between Akkarin and the visitors. There was no social distance between them, they spoke as equals, something she had never imagined any magician, would do. She soon realised that his visitors didn't really think of Akkarin as a magician, perhaps they didn't even know he was. To them, he was a man who paid them for information. They didn't know nor care what he did with it, as long as the coin kept coming.

Soon after the refreshments had been eaten and the plates and glasses cleared away, another visitor arrived. This time, it was a single figure which entered the room. He was heavily muffled in a cloak, with a cap pulled right down over his face. Sonea glanced at him curiously, who would arrive so late to an important meeting? The stranger unwound his cloak and took off his cap. Sonea couldn't believe her eyes.

"Cery!" she exclaimed, "Wh….?" but before she could continue, he rushed over and picked her up to swing her around.

"Sonea," he said happily, "You're looking well!"

She suddenly became aware of the silence in the room and turned to see five pairs of eyes staring at them. The Thieves looked bemused, but Akkarin was looking rather disapprovingly at her. Too late, she remembered she'd been introduced to the others as 'Sym' not Sonea and for a moment she was uncertain what to do, then she heard Akkarin's smooth voice, "I think you have mistaken my apprentice, Sym, for someone else, Ceryni."

Cery recovered quickly, "I'm sorry, Sym," he said to Sonea, "You reminded me for a moment of my cousin. She's a bit of a tomboy," he added quickly in case anyone wondered why he would mistake a young boy for his female cousin.

Akkarin carefully started another discussion, drawing the others' attention away from them. Sonea took the opportunity to whisper, "I'll explain later, and you can tell me what you're doing here too."

During the rest of the discussion, Sonea was conscious of how frequently eyes would turn towards her and then look over at Cery. She detected a degree of hostility in the gazes but wasn't sure why that would be. Perhaps the confusion about her name had created an atmosphere of mistrust among the original visitors or may be it was Cery who was regarded poorly. Whatever the cause, she was looking forward to their leaving.

It took another hour before Akkarin had finished. As each of the four men left, they were given a heavy purse to take away. Sonea wondered how Akkarin had got hold of the money. Then she remembered the boxes in the room upstairs. Obviously some of them must have contained money. She guessed that Takan had had access to Akkarin's possessions and wealth and had hidden some of it as part of Akkarin's long-term plans.

Finally, it was just Akkarin, Cery and herself left in the room and Sonea was pleased to be able to shed her alter ego and become Cery's friend Sonea again.


	16. Cery

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Cery**

Almost immediately, Takan reappeared with some refreshments more to the liking of Cery, who preferred sweet cakes and plenty of bol to anything else. Cery made his choice of several cakes and then gulped down some bol. Sonea was impatiently waiting for him to finish so that she could talk, but before she could exchange her news with Cery, Akkarin pointedly drew him aside.

"I want to hear your report," he said.

Cery brushed the crumbs from his lips and took out some rather grimy bits of paper. He looked briefly at them, then said, "A group of fifty Warriors left Imardin a few days ago. I saw them go and recognised a few of them from my…erm… unofficial visits to the Guild. Their leader was Lord Yikmo, I know him quite well so there's no mistake. They took a number of other magicians with them too, a few Healers amongst them. My men traced their journey and sent back reports. It seems they met up with your Sachakans not far from Kendil."

Cery stopped and took another long swallow of his bol, then continued, "My men were a couple of hours behind them but when they reached the place, they found patches of blackened earth and other signs of a battle. They didn't find any of Yikmo's forces."

Sonea gave an involuntary gasp. Yikmo had been her teacher, chosen because he was one of the best Warriors. He had taught her well and she had a very high regard for his talents. She was not alone in that view, either. He was often spoken of as a future head of his Discipline. _If he could not defeat the Ichani or even survive an encounter with them… _

"Did they talk to the locals?" Akkarin asked.

"They didn't find many, but one old man said he was hiding in his barn and saw something of the struggle. The Sachakan magicians made short work of the Warriors and it was all over very quickly. According to the old man, not one was left alive. There was no sign of any of the other magicians either so my men assumed they'd been either killed or taken."

"Were there any bodies left?"

"No. The old man said the foreigners killed the magicians then destroyed their bodies. That was what the black patches were, places where bodies had been burned. My men didn't stay around very long. As soon as they got the information, they started back. Do you want to talk to them?"

Akkarin was silent for a moment, then said, "No, I don't think that would serve any purpose. Are all your men back in Imardin now?"

Cery nodded, "They're back in their usual places, scattered around the city."

By this time Sonea was feeling more than a little confused. Just as Cery appearing at Akkarin's meeting was a surprise, even more so was the fact that he appeared to be working for a magician, as she clearly remembered his strong dislike of anyone with magic. She didn't understand it at all. She looked at the two men. They were sitting almost opposite each other and their whole demeanour spoke of a long association. She'd no idea that Akkarin had had anything further to do with Cery after that incident early in her career at the Guild, when he had been kept captive by Fergun and rescued by the High Lord. Now it seemed they had continued to see each other in the years that followed.

As she listened to the conversation between the two of them, she could see that Akkarin shared a good understanding of Cery's organisation and the men he controlled. She began to remember the times messages had come for Akkarin and he had disappeared to the city to deal with the Ichani slaves. _Those messages had come from Cery! _She could see it clearly now. She was both proud and incensed. Proud that Akkarin had worked closely with dwells, especially with her own special friend, but also incensed that he hadn't told her of the association.

_Akkarin and his secrets! How many more of them will I discover?_

The longer she spent with Akkarin it seemed, the less she knew him. _I'll never fully understand him_, she thought. At one time that wouldn't have mattered too much, but now, when she had discovered she wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her life with him, it mattered very much indeed.

She watched them closely. Akkarin, with his unfamiliar beard, was behaving in a way equally unfamiliar to her, taking a great interest in Cery's opinions. His attention was focussed on the Thief as he dropped several questions into the discussion, encouraging Cery to speak freely. Cery, on the other hand, showed none of the usual dwell deference to a magician, but simply spoke as if to an equal.

"How long before the Sachakans reach the city?" Akkarin asked.

Cery consulted on of his bits of paper. "Possibly two days, if they continue to move at the same pace, may be three."

"So, not long to wait, now." Akkarin's voice was pensive. He thought for a moment, then said, "I need to do something. Look after our guest, Sonea."

By the time she'd fully registered his words, he'd gone and she was alone at last with Cery. She looked at him and smiled, "It's so good to see you, Cery."

"Yes, it's been quite a while, although I've seen you often enough, you just didn't see me!" Cery reached for another plate of cakes, laughing at the bemused expression on her face.

"Oh," she said quickly as she realised what he meant, "You're still getting into the Guild!"

Cery looked pleased with himself, "You don't think I'd just let you disappear and not try to keep an eye on you, do you? Of course, I've been back, hundreds of times. I've watched you working, I've seen you sitting in the gardens, going to the Foodhall, I've even seen you practising your Warrior skills in the Arena! You should know by now, I'm very good at what I do."

"And you've been working for Akkarin all this time?"

"Working with, not for," Cery corrected, "Yes, it's been a profitable association. Where do you think I got the money to pay my men from? The High….err, what should I call him now?"

Sonea paused, as they had both been expelled from the Guild and exiled, she doubted they were even entitled to the honorific all magicians in Kyralia used, she was surprised at how much that hurt. Cery was staring at her, obviously waiting for an answer, so she hurriedly said, "Verin, that's the name he chose, and of course, I'm Sym."

"Yes, I remember," Cery smiled, remembering his earlier mistake. "You pretending to be a boy, then?"

"Akkarin thought it best. There might be talk if a man was spotted travelling with a girl, especially if people were looking out for us. He thinks the Guild were searching for us almost from the beginning."

"Of course they are!" Cery exclaimed. "My sources tell me that there are quite a few groups out scouring the border areas. They've been looking for you two for about a week. After the Warriors left, the patrols increased, a bit nearer to the city. They assume you're heading here."

"They called us," Sonea admitted, "A few days ago, but Akkarin won't answer."

Cery took another cake and looked at it admiringly for a second or two before cramming it in his mouth. He chewed rapidly, then swallowed, washing it all down with another long gulp of bol. He selected another cake and the process started again. Sonea stared at him fascinated, this was a Cery she hadn't seen before, but then again, she had never seen him in a room full of cakes and bol before!

"What's it like?" he asked through a mouthful of crumbs.

"What's what like?" Sonea said puzzled.

"Being alone with him," Cery explained. "A bit of a cold fish, isn't he?"

She felt the telltale colour run up her cheeks and went to pour herself another glass of fruit juice to gain a little time for the blush to subside. She came back to sit next to Cery.

"Well, I lived in the Residence for a long time and we saw each other almost every day, so it didn't seem that unusual," she said, hoping Cery wouldn't hear the lie in her voice. She was not yet prepared to share her secrets, even with her oldest friend.

Cery gave her a strange look, "But it's not the same is it? I watched the two of you being trailed around the city while they read out that stuff. It was pretty terrible to see, I can tell you. Your robes all torn and fluttering in the breeze and those guards around you." He took another cake. "Both of you looked bad, especially when they started throwing stuff."

Rather unreasonably, Sonea was angry that Cery had seen their disgrace. "What possible reason did you have for watching that!" she said hotly. "You shouldn't have been there."

"But you're my friend, of course I wanted to see what was happening," he sounded upset.

"Yes, I'm sorry Cery," she said quickly. "I don't want to think about it any more and the fact that you saw it makes it seem worse, somehow."

"So, how's it been since then?" he asked.

Sonea launched into a carefully edited account of what had happened since they had left Imardin. She selected only the factual aspects of their journey and left out anything concerned with any relationship between Akkarin and herself. Cery seemed satisfied with her account, asking few questions.

She was rescued by the return of Akkarin, who came back soon afterwards. He poured two large glasses of the dark red wine and passed the jug of bol over to Cery. He made no mention of what he'd been doing, not that Sonea expected him to. He and Cery talked about arrangements for collecting information on the whereabouts of the Ichani and Cery promised to let Akkarin know when they were about half a day from the city.

Soon afterwards, Cery left. Takan came to clear away the remains of the food. There weren't many cakes left, merely several plates covered with crumbs. Soon, only the bottles of wine and two glasses were left. Akkarin replenished their glasses and sat down next to Sonea and looked at her enquiringly.

"What?" she said grumpily.

You're obviously dying to say something, Sonea, about your young friend." Akkarin's tone was full of amusement. "Your surface thoughts make interesting reading."

For a moment, she was tempted to tell him to take himself and his mind-reading ability off somewhere else, but it was only a momentary thought. Instead, she smiled at him sweetly.

"I was just surprised to see him, that's all."

Akkarin smiled knowingly and leant forward to kiss her. She felt the first rush of desire as her arms settled themselves around him and her body moulded itself to his.

She kept her eyes open and stared into his. They were the blackest of black eyes she had ever seen and she felt as if she could drown in them.

After a pleasurable few minutes, Akkarin stood and pulled her up into his arms, "Come, Sonea, let us go to bed."


	17. Misunderstandings

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Misunderstandings**

At his words, Sonea felt a strange fluttering in her stomach. 'Let us go to bed', a few ordinary little words, but ones which held such promise. It was all so new, so unexpected, she didn't know how to react. Before, in many ways it had been easy, she had made all the moves, she had taken the action needed. But now, now it was Akkarin who was leading the way and she was uncertain how she should behave. A strange sense of confusion filled her thoughts.

She heard a soft laugh and turned her head to find him looking at her, amusement plain in his eyes. _Damn his mind reading skills!_ she thought in annoyance. _I can never have any true secrets anymore._

"Afraid, Sonea?" His voice was soft, but there was something elusive underlying it.

"No!" she said hotly. "Why should I be afraid?"

"I sense…" his voice faded and for a moment his gaze seemed to turn inward, then he snapped his attention back to her again.

"There's a bathing room here," he said, his tone and manner matter-of-fact. "Would you like to bathe?"

She seized on the excuse to postpone a trip to the bed chamber, "Oh yes, but what about the power need to heat water?"

"Takan has been heating the water for some time, it should be ready."

As he spoke, Akkarin released her and she had a momentary feeling of rejection, but she stamped on the thought, it was ridiculous. She smiled at him gratefully, "I've been looking forward to a nice warm bath for a long time."

"I'll wait here until you finish," his voice gave nothing away and she had no idea how he felt. He turned away towards the table and reached for the wine. He didn't look at her again, so she left the room and went to the bathing room. The cauldron was full and steaming gently. There was a large jug next to it and she started to fill the bath. After several trips, and seeing the water barely cover the bottom of the bath, she shrugged and used magic to transfer enough water quickly.

It wasn't long before she was immersed in the warm water. Takan had thoughtfully left a cake of soap and a towel next to the bath. She took her time washing. She cleaned her hair several times and then heated the water with magic when it started to cool. She lay back and shut her eyes, it was almost tempting to drift off to sleep. However, she realised that she couldn't hide in the bath forever and she must face Akkarin.

Using the towel, rather than magic, she dried herself and dressed in her shabby clothing. Briefly she regretted the loss of her clothes left in the Residence, but as there was nothing she could do about that, she forced the thought away. She looked at her reflection in the tiny mirror. Her face was flushed from the warmth of the bath, but the expression in her eyes was wary.

When she got back to the room, Akkarin was sprawled in one of the chairs, an empty bottle at his side and a half-full glass in his hand. He had been staring into the fire, but as she came it, he turned to look at her. She could read nothing in his face; it was expressionless. She smiled at him uncertainly.

"There's more wine on the table," he said, "If you'd like a glass."

Although part of her realised it was another excuse to postpone things, she was grateful for his suggestion. She chose a different wine this time and, carrying the full glass carefully in her hand, she came to sit opposite Akkarin.

He said nothing but silently raised his glass in a mock toast. She did the same, then sipped the pale rose liquid. It was sweeter than the Anuran Dark she had been drinking previously, but it left the same warm glow as the stronger wine. When she glanced at her companion, she found his gaze fixed on her, a bitter expression in his eyes.

"It was a lovely bath," she said to break the uncomfortable silence. "I'm really grateful Takan was thoughtful enough to put the water on to heat."

There was no response from Akkarin, so she continued, "Are you going to have a bath too?"

Akkarin continued to look steadily at her for a moment, then said, "Would you like me to?"

"I…it would seem a…a good idea. We've been travelling for so long….."

Her voice faded away as the bitter expression in his eyes seemed to gather strength. He finished the wine in his glass in one long swallow and stood up. She looked up at him, conscious for the first time in a long while just how tall he was. He avoided her gaze and turned towards the door, then he stopped and turned to face her again.

"Don't be concerned, Sonea," he said, his voice, like his face, without expression. "I understand. Go to bed. I won't disturb you."

Before she could respond, he'd gone, the door firmly closed behind him. Part of her mind was screaming _Run after him! Don't let him go like that!_' but she found it impossible to move. She'd hurt him dreadfully; she could see that now. He had been able to read enough of her surface thoughts to see her confusion and interpret it as reluctance rather than what it truly was, the natural reaction of a newly 'married' woman, unused to the intimacies of life as a couple. She had to repair the damage she'd done, or risk driving him away forever. Her first instinct was to send to him, then she realised that any mental communication could be overhead, so that option was closed to her.

She went down the passage to the bathing room. The door was shut, but she could hear movement within. She knocked on the door and the movement ceased.

"Akkarin," she called softly. "Can I come in?"

There was no response, so she knocked again.

"Akkarin, please, let me come in." She tried the door, but it was locked. She knocked a third time, this time getting a response.

"Go away, Sonea," he called wearily. "We'll talk in the morning."

For a second, she considered doing just that; postponing for the moment what might be a painful conversation, but she knew that the moment would be lost and Akkarin harder to convince, the longer he went on believing that somehow, she'd changed her mind about him.

"I'm not going to go away. We must talk now, Akkarin." She was proud of how decisive her voice sounded.

She heard the sounds of someone getting out of a bath. There was quiet for a few minutes then the door opened and Akkarin stood there, different somehow. Then she realised he'd got rid of his beard. Suddenly, it was the High Lord staring at her, a cool, dispassionate look on his pale, colourless face.

"Let's go back and have another glass of wine," she said, turning away and hoping he would follow her.

It seemed to work because they were soon sitting opposite each other, glass in hand. He said nothing and she knew she would have to do all the work in this discussion. She marshalled her thoughts carefully, then looking directly at him, she began.

"I'm sorry if my thoughts seemed confused, but you mustn't read into them something which isn't there."

"I'm very good at what I do, Sonea. Your thoughts were quite clear. And I do understand. I warned you it wasn't right for a lot of reasons. I'm sorry I didn't make you understand sufficiently well before…..before things went too far."

Sonea couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was it only a few hours ago that all her longings had been satisfied? How could things change so much in such a short time?

She struggled to get her thoughts in order.

"How can I make you understand you've misinterpreted what you read in my thoughts? I have absolutely no regrets about anything."

Akkarin finished his wine and immediately poured another. She sipped at hers, wanting to keep a clear head, otherwise her cause was lost. Akkarin just wasn't listening to her. She needed something to shock him into listening.

"Are you just feeling sorry for yourself?" she asked brutally. "You've lost your position, your power and wealth and now you think nobody loves you."

For a moment, Akkarin looked totally surprised by her attack, but he soon recovered his normal calm expression. Sonea, however, thought she caught a trace of amusement in his eyes and her heart leapt. All was not lost.

She tried again, "I love you with all my heart, but things have happened so quickly, my head's in a whirl. That's what you sensed, not that I regret what happened."

He looked at her, one of those clear, penetrating gazes he was so good at. She wondered if he were trying to read her thoughts again, so she projected all her feelings about him as strongly as she could. She formed a picture in her mind of the two of them lying together, limbs entwined, a sense of togetherness permeating the whole scene. And then she watched his face. She saw his eyes reflect a rapid change of emotions and saw the colour return to his cheeks.

She got up to kneel at his side and took his hand, just as she had done before. She wrapped both of hers around it and raised it until it lay against her breast. She smoothed it out until his palm was directly over her heart, which was beating rapidly. After a moment, she took her hands away, but Akkarin left his where she'd placed it. She felt his other hand caress her hair. She risked a glance upwards and saw his lips were curved in a faint smile.

Then they were standing, locked in each other's arms, his mouth hard against hers. Her lips parted under the pressure and she tasted the rich dark red wine as their tongues moved against each other. The welcome hot sweet pain lanced through her and she pressed even closer to him.

_Shall we go to bed, Sonea? _

His mental voice was a mere whisper in her mind but she knew she couldn't match it. She tore her mouth away from his to respond, "Yes." He picked her up effortlessly and carried her up to the bedchamber above. The room was chilly, so they undressed quickly and slipped under the covers. She snuggled close to his warmth, her head on his chest and her arms holding him close.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

She kissed him, quick, feathery kisses, everywhere she could reach without leaving the comfort of his embrace.

"Never forget we are lovers, Akkarin. There is no one else I want to be with but you. There is no other man who can make me feel the way you make me feel. No matter what you think you see in my thoughts, these are the only truths you need, that I love you with all my heart; that I will always love you, whatever happens."

She heard him laugh, "Foolish, brave, Sonea." he said.

"The time for talking is over," she whispered, letting her hands begin to communicate with his body.

His hands began their own conversation with her flesh and she could feel a strange tingling sensation where his fingers touched her. Desire grew as waves of pleasure coursed through her. She heard his breathing change as he responded to her caresses and then they were one, moving together, their bodies completely in tune with each other until the moment of release came and ecstasy flooded their bodies and minds with an almost unbearable pleasure.

They spent some time afterwards, simply drifting, mid-way between waking and sleeping. Sonea found it hard to believe that there could be any one in the whole of Kyralia who felt as fulfilled as she did. _No matter what happens_, she thought, _whether we succeed or fail, whether we live or die, nothing can take away this feeling of completeness._

Akkarin settled her more comfortably against him, "Sleep now, Sonea," he said softly, "It will be a long day tomorrow."


	18. Power

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Power**

She stretched, a little like a languid zill, before opening her eyes. The bed was comfortable, especially when you were used to sleeping on piles of leaves and grasses. It was warm, too, in the space where she was lying. She turned and reached for Akkarin, only to find a cool empty space where he'd been.

She opened her eyes and sat up quickly. She was completely alone in the room, with no sign that anyone else had been there. She knew she hadn't been dreaming because she had woken during the night and lain there for some time, watching him sleep. It had felt strange, staring at the pale oval of his face because she had grown more used to his beard than she'd realised. There was no shield now to prevent her touch, but she made no effort to lay her fingers against his skin. There were no bad dreams to haunt his sleep this night and she didn't want to wake him.

Now there was a weak light filtering through the tiny window, but she had no real idea how late it was. He could have been gone for hours. She dressed hurriedly and went downstairs. All the rooms except the kitchen, where Takan was working, were deserted.

Takan looked up as she came in. He started to speak, but Sonea interrupted him.

"Where is he?" she demanded.

Takan's face was as impassive as his master's, "He went out earlier, my lady."

"I can see that," she said impatiently, "Do you know where he's gone?"

"No, my lady," Takan's voice gave nothing away. "Breakfast?"

She nodded absentmindedly, "Just a roll and some raka," she said.

When Takan brought a tray through to the main room, it was loaded with fresh bread, butter, ham and honey. He had included a jug of fruit juice as well as a steaming pot of raka and a mug, which Sonea reached for gratefully. She filled the mug and cradled it in her hands. _Where could he have gone? _She still strongly believed that, given the chance, Akkarin would try to leave her out of any battles with the Ichani. Her only defence was to know exactly what he was planning and where he was at any time.

She sighed in frustration, he was so skilled in keeping secrets, unless he chose to tell her, it was going to be difficult to find out. Takan would only help her so far, his complete loyalty was to Akkarin. She couldn't fault him for that, but it made her life more difficult. She looked up from her steaming drink to find him standing against the wall by the door, just as he used to do in the dinning room in the Residence.

"Takan," she said quietly, "We both want the same things, you have to help me a little, I can't do it on my own."

The servant smiled briefly, "You have done very well, so far, my lady."

The colour flooded her cheeks as she caught the sly undertone in his voice. _Damn that blood gem! _she thought.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," her voice was testy. "Where is he?"

Takan seemed to relent a little for he came over to the table and sat down next to her. He poured himself a glass of fruit juice and sipped it reflectively.

"Akkarin has gone to meet some of his contacts. He is expecting a message about the location of the Ichani, however he also has some other business to conduct, but he hasn't shared that with me." Takan looked sideways at her, "Is that sufficient, my lady?"

Sonea grinned at him, "It helps, Takan, it helps."

It was an hour or so later, that Takan brought Sonea a small square of folded paper. On opening it, she found it was instructions from the absent Akkarin. She read it through twice, her forehead creased by a frown. _What did it mean? _Oh, the words were clear enough, but what lay behind them?

It was a simple message instructing her to follow the messenger who would take her to a building where she was to meet a renegade magician, Senfel, he would tell her what to do.

She thought back, the name was familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. Senfel, Senfel, perhaps if she repeated it often enough, the memory would click in. Then it came to her. When she'd still been living in the city, and her magic was out of control, one of the Thieves had tried to entice her into his organisation by promising to find her a magician to help and the name he'd mentioned then had been Senfel. Sonea had never had the chance to meet him though, because she'd been found by Guild magicians not long afterwards and taken away.

She looked up as Takan showed a rather disreputable-looking figure into the room. The man, who was dressed in workman's clothes, pulled off a greasy cap and held it awkwardly in his hands. He looked as if he hadn't washed in months and she didn't wish to stand very close to him.

"You're to come with me, Miss," he said twisting the cap and shuffling from foot to foot.

He led her through narrow streets and winding lanes until they reached a run-down building at the end of a cobbled street. Sonea could hear the buzz of conversation even before the door was opened. When she entered, she found herself in a large room, absolutely crammed full of people of all ages. Those nearest the door turned to see who had arrived, but their glances passed over her quickly and they went back to their conversations.

A thin miserable-looking man pushed his way through the crowd to her side.

"Sonea?" he asked, "I'm Senfel, come with me."

Without waiting for a reply, he turned and pushed his way towards the back of the room where there was another door. She followed as best she could, trying not to get caught up with the people she passed. The door led to a smaller room, empty except for a table and several chairs. Senfel was waiting impatiently.

"How much do you know?" he asked abruptly.

"Only that I should do what you tell me," she said equally abruptly.

Senfel sighed dramatically, "Years of keeping myself hidden all wasted! Here I am involved in Guild matters again. I've been told to help you by him….err….Akkarin." He spoke the name through twisted lips, as if he'd swallowed something very bitter.

"When did you see him?" she couldn't help asking.

"He got me out of bed at some ungodly hour and forced me to listen to his ramblings. I swore I'd have nothing more to do with the Guild, but it didn't make any difference to him. He laid a compulsion on me and I cannot break it!"

Sonea was surprised. A compulsion was a very strong spell rarely used, because it could so easily be misused by an unscrupulous magician. It wasn't even taught officially any more.

"What was this compulsion?" she asked.

Senfel looked at her sourly, "To find as many people with traces of magic as possible and bring them here for you to see." He continued angrily, "Do you know how long it's taken me and I've only covered around six or seven streets."

"So many with magic," she said quietly, "Who would have thought so many people have magic."

"Oh they're not very strong," Senfel said, "Some only have a trace and I've left them alone. Akkarin only wanted people with a certain level and above. He said you'd know what to do with them."

Sonea would be able to take their power and store it, no doubt passing some of it on to Akkarin _– when he chooses to turn up again! _

A thought struck her, "Do they know why they're here and what I have to do?"

"All I was told was to get them here. I've bags of coin and for every one you see and do whatever it is you have to do, there will be a reward. You'll use this room. There'll be a man outside it, to send them in one by one. I have more people to find." Senfel's voice indicated the depth of his fury, but the compulsion remained strong, and there was nothing he could do.

She thought quickly. If the people were doing this for money, that made her task easier, she wouldn't have to try to convince them by explaining anything. It would only need a small cut, which she could Heal very quickly, so there wouldn't be much discomfort and, in her experience, a lot of dwells would put up with a fair bit of discomfort for coin. _I just hope Akkarin has enough money_, she thought.

She went over to the door and took a quick look outside. The room was very full and the people waiting were of all ages. Then she spotted something which gave her pause. There were children in the room, some as young as five or six. She shut the door and turned to face the renegade magician.

"You've brought children," she said accusingly, "I will not use them. Take them away and don't bring any more!"

Senfel smiled maliciously, "He said everyone. I have to bring everyone."

"I don't care what he said, I will not have children brought into this. No one under twelve, do you understand?"

"Their parents want the coin," Senfel said, "They won't be happy to have them sent away without anything."

"Well give them a coin," Sonea almost shouted, "Just give them something and send them away."

Senfel nodded. Then another thought struck her.

"Do these people know who I am?"

"Some might, you were part of a great entertainment the other day," Senfel's eyes lit up in pleasure as he remembered.

"Well don't use my name, I don't want to refresh their memories. I'm called Sym these days."

Not long afterwards, she started work. The guard outside the door ensured that only one person at a time came in. Sonea gave a vague tale of an experiment which involved her making a shallow cut on an arm, which would almost immediately be Healed, then a coin was pressed into an eager hand and she was ready for the next one. Occasionally, a man or woman would argue, or demand more money, but generally, the people seemed incurious about what she was doing, their eyes focussed entirely on the bags of coins next to her.

With only a short break to eat a roll and honey, she must have seen hundreds of people by sunset. She had been surprised at the reservoir of magic which some people possessed, completely unbeknown to them. Of course, their magic was nowhere near as strong as hers or, indeed, even strong enough for them to lose control of it, as she had done, but there was enough of it in them to make her draining of their power useful.

By the time she had seen the last of them, the bags of coins were empty and she was physically exhausted. Senfel brought her some fruit juice which she drank in one long swallow.

"There are no others in this part of the city." Senfel explained, "He will tell me if he needs you to do this again. You will be guided to where you need to be."

"Thank you, Senfel. You've been very helpful."

He scowled at her, "I don't wish to be helpful to you or to him! I abandoned the Guild years ago, it means nothing to me. I thought I'd been clever, successfully hiding from them, but he had the gall to tell me he knew where I was all this time! Damn this blasted compulsion!"

There was nothing more to be discussed, so Sonea's guide reappeared to lead her back home. Akkarin was still not back and Takan hadn't seen or heard from him all day. She could only wait for him, but in the meantime, she ate the delicious sweet tart Takan had prepared for her. She refused wine, though, only choosing fruit juice and water.

It was much later when Akkarin returned. He came in, looking rather cheerful for a change. He came over and took her hand, instantly assessing the level of power she was storing.

"Very good, Sonea," he said approvingly, "You've collected a lot of power for one day's work. Give me some of it."

She began to send him power, relishing the feeling it gave her as it fled her magic source for his. It was a very intimate feeling, as if part of her was now colonising Akkarin, where it would spread to mingle with part of him to create something different, something very strong.

"That's enough," he said. "I don't want you to be weakened."

"What's happening?" she asked.

Akkarin poured a glass of wine and sat down. "The Ichani are very close. They have left a trail of destruction behind them and found some more slaves from the local population. They'll be here tomorrow. The Guild has sent more Warriors but they had as much success as the last lot."

Akkarin frowned, "Balkan learns nothing." He sipped his wine, "Lorlen has been using the blood gem to call me. It seems he's disclosed its existence to Balkan and the others and they've been trying to get me to respond."

Sonea looked at him closely and could see faint signs of strain about his eyes. It must be difficult to resist calls for help from people he knew so well, particularly Lorlen, his oldest friend; especially when he knew that many of them were likely to be killed tomorrow.

"When I was on my way back this evening, I saw lots of carriages on the roads out of the city," she said.

Akkarin snorted, "The Houses are abandoning the city. It seems the Court has informed them of the danger, so they are leaving as fast as they can. The city gates are to be closed at midnight and those who haven't left by then will be trapped here."

_Nothing changes_, she thought bitterly, _It will be the poor who'll suffer, those who have the means to escape will leave them to their fate without a moment's thought._.

"I am expecting Cery again this evening," Akkarin continued. "There are some final plans to discuss. Until he arrives, let us eat, I'm sure Takan has created something wonderful, as usual."


	19. Preparations

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Preparations**

Cery made a small grunt of satisfaction as he bit into the cake Takan had earlier placed before him. Sonea watched, fascinated, as he made short work of the large piece he had cut himself. He had been eating steadily since he had arrived almost an hour ago. Akkarin, of course, was not there. He had gone out as soon as he and Sonea had finished their meal. She had offered to go with him, but he had given her one of his 'this has nothing to do with you' looks, so she had let him go without further argument.

"You certainly eat well, Sonea," Cery said through a mouthful of cake.

"Yes, Takan performs daily miracles, I have no idea how he does it," she replied.

Sonea was both surprised and slightly disturbed to find she really had very little to say to Cery. When she had first joined the Guild, she'd longed for a chance to see her oldest friend and share her experiences. She missed the companionship of the gang she used to run with. She missed the sense of belonging, of being free to do as she pleased. But, her old life was so distant now, that sometimes she had difficulty remembering large parts of it. She really had nothing in common with Cery any more and now, she had nothing much to say to him either. That didn't stop Cery from prattling on, though. He had told her about his life in the city, the men he had working for him, the money he had earned working with Akkarin and, many, many times, just how well respected he was in the Thieves' Guild. Sonea was rather ashamed to find she didn't really care very much.

"Any more of that bol?" Cery asked as he cut another wedge of cake.

She stretched for the jug and poured him a mugful. She refilled her own glass with some of the pale pink wine she had taken a fancy to and sipped it slowly. Her mind was trying to think where Akkarin might be and what he might be doing. Despite everything which had happened between them, she was still only on the periphery of his plans. There was so much which still didn't make any sense to her and it worried her greatly. She suddenly became conscious that Cery was speaking again and looked at him.

"I said how are things with you and him?"

Mentally, Sonea sighed deeply. For some reason, the relationship between Akkarin and herself was of great interest to Cery. No matter how hard she tried to steer him away from it, he returned to the same subject time and time again.

"He has his work to do and I help when and where I can," she replied.

Cery shot her a curious glance from under his brows, "That's all it is?" he persisted, "You are really just his Novice still, despite not being in the Guild?"

"No, we're not Guild magicians now, so terms like novice and guardian don't apply. It's more like I'm an assistant, a helper with whatever he's doing."

"What will you do when this is all over?"

She considered the question. It was something that had crossed her mind several times since being exiled. She had no real answer and Akkarin, when pressed, was rather vague in his replies.

"I don't really know. We can't go back to the Guild, at least not without some really dramatic changes, and neither of us can see that happening. So, I don't know what we'll be doing."

"Will you stay with him?" Cery's gaze was fixed on her face.

She had the feeling that this was the real question that Cery wanted answering. She remembered that years and years ago, when they'd been nine or ten, they had sworn an oath that they would spend the rest of their lives together. As far as she was concerned, it was just the sort of thing friends did when they were children, something not meant to be binding, but, thinking about it now, she wondered if Cery still expected it to happen.

She returned his gaze steadily, "Yes, my fate is bound up with his, now."

"Why?" Cery's eyes didn't waver.

"I can't explain it to you, Cery," she said quietly, "You'll just have to accept it."

Cery gave a short bark of laughter, "You sound very confused to me. First you hated magicians, then you turned into one. You were unhappy in the Guild, then you get taken up by the top magician and everything is wonderful. Next, you do something to seriously upset them and get thrown out. Now you say you're going to spend the rest of your life tagging along with the man who got you into all the trouble in the first place. It doesn't make any sense to me."

"It's a magician thing, Cery," she said and saw the hurt look in his eyes. "You have to accept I'm a magician now, not the girl who ran wild in the city."

"You could be that girl again, Sonea," he said earnestly. "You could join my group, when this is over. You could become **our** renegade magician. There's so much you could help us with and you wouldn't be alone any more."

It was no good, Cery would go on and on about this unless she put a stop to it and there was only one way to do that. She steeled herself to tell him the truth about her feelings for Akkarin. She opened her mouth to speak but before she could utter the words, the door opened and Akkarin came in.

"Good, you're here, Ceryni," he said walking over to them and reaching for the Anuran Dark.

"He's been here for over an hour," Sonea said sharply _And I've had to entertain him_, she added silently.

Akkarin looked amused as if he'd heard her, "I'm sorry to be late, but I see you've had something to eat."

Cery nodded, "Sonea's looked after me well."

"Right, let's get down to business," Akkarin said as he sat down with them. "Are all your men in place and briefed?"

"Yes, as arranged. I've something for you."

As he spoke, Cery reached for the bundle he'd pushed under the table when he arrived. He passed it to Akkarin who undid it quickly. Something made of dark cloth was revealed. Akkarin held it up and Sonea was surprised to see it was a magician's robe.

Akkarin smiled as he saw her confusion, "This is our disguise."

"Disguise," Sonea spluttered, "Our disguise is to be dressed as a Guild magician!"

"Yes, what's the last thing the Guild would expect us to wear?" Akkarin was busily dressing himself in the robe as he spoke.

She stared as the all too familiar dark clad figure was revealed. There was no disguising who he was from those who knew him. As if he could hear her thoughts, Akkarin said, "Our Ichani friends will know me instantly and will know where the danger to them lies."

He reached into the bundle and tossed her a robe. It was the same as his, but made smaller, to fit her. She looked at it, lost in memories of how dreadful it had felt to have her own robe torn by each of the Guild magicians who had spoken the words of banishment. She mentally shook herself. _There's no point in memories_, she decided. _It's all about the future now_.

Perhaps sensing her moment of distress, Akkarin asked her to go to the room upstairs and fetch a map he'd left there. She left her new robe draped across a chair and went to obey. As she was closing the door, a nasty suspicion crossed her mind and she lingered to hear what they might say.

She heard Akkarin say quietly, "You know what I want you to do about Sonea?"

"Yes, follow her and make sure she's protected. I've assigned four of my most trusted men to keep an eye on her. They're good so she'll never know."

"Nothing is to happen to her, you understand? She'll be very difficult if she finds out. Your men better be good, she's not easy to fool."

As she ran upstairs, Sonea tried to keep a grip on her temper. It was as she'd thought all along. Akkarin would go out of his way to keep her away from danger, regardless of his own safety. She found the map and made her way back to the downstairs room, all the while her mind was working furiously on a plan to deal with Cery's unwanted bodyguards. She still hadn't arrived at a credible scheme by the time she handed the map to Akkarin.

Akkarin spread it out and they all poured over it. He identified several points where roads converged, or narrow passages existed, marking each with a large circle.

"The Ichani will enter the city at which ever gate they arrive at first. They won't bother searching for the best choice. Once in, their goal will be the Guild because their aim is to kill as many magicians as they can as quickly as they can. Our plan is to pick them off one by one. We have the advantage of knowing the streets and where the best places for ambushes are."

Akkarin's voice was calm and confident as he outlined his strategy.

"A first priority is to kill or incapacitate their slaves. These are not magicians, so will not have the defences of the others, I will leave this task to your men. They are prepared?"

Cery nodded, "They will each be wearing a set of dark robes like yours. That should cause a bit of confusion. There will be up to fifty people dressed that way moving around the city. We've already made arrangements in some buildings for nasty surprises for anyone caught nearby."

"Good. Sonea and I will concentrate on the magicians. I expect there will be Warriors and other Guild magicians also fighting in the city along with the King's Guard. We will need to stay away from them as much as possible for as long as possible. It is important no one knows we are here and ready to fight."

"We will work together, then?" Sonea asked innocently.

Akkarin looked at her calmly, "It will maximise our somewhat limited resources if we split up for some of the time. I'll talk to you about that later."

"We'll sort it all out later, then," she replied and turned her eyes once again on the map.

The discussion lasted for another hour, by which time Akkarin's scheme had been picked over and clarified. Cery seemed confident that his men would be able to do what was necessary. There had been no further mention of exactly how Sonea and Akkarin would deal with the black magicians, Cery was content to leave magic to the magicians and didn't enquire too closely what was going to happen.

As the door closed behind the young Thief, Sonea surveyed the wreckage of the food left behind, not that there was a lot of it, mainly crumbs and a few odd pieces which had failed to find favour. It was a constant surprise just how much food Cery could consume. She didn't remember him eating like this before, not that there'd been much opportunity to obtain such large quantities. She remembered the chances they had taken stealing a pie or two from market stalls and the over-hanging fruit they stole from gardens.

"Well, Sonea, you have questions?" Akkarin's voice recalled her to the present.

"Yes, I do. There's still a lot to arrange about what we'll be doing."

She was careful not to let her anxiety show in her voice and she made sure her thoughts were under control. She cleared up the debris from the table as best she could and piled it in a corner for Takan to take away later. She found two clean glasses and the dark red wine Akkarin favoured. Filling two glasses, she took them over to where Akkarin was sitting and gave him one. She sat next to him, holding her own drink, and looked intently at the map spread out before him.

"Where is the best place to wait for the Ichani?"

He pointed firstly to an area which had good routes to the North Gate, and then to the gate itself, "I suspect they will come through here. It's almost directly in the path they have followed since they left the Northern Fort and there is no reason for them to search out another entry point. They will attack the gate and it won't take long for them to demolish it. Then they will try for the Guild."

"What about the Palace, won't they try to kill the King?"

"Possibly, but their main goal is the Guild. Once that is gone, they can pick off the King at their leisure."

She stared at the map. The city was big, very big, and with only two of them able to fight the Ichani properly, there were so many opportunities for the intruders to evade them.

"So we will be between them and the Guild?" she asked.

"I will try to eliminate as many as I can before they reach the Guild grounds, but we must be prepared to fall back towards it so that we arrive ahead of them."

She noticed his use of 'I', but declined to make an issue of it. If, during the battle, Akkarin attempted to leave her, or send her off somewhere else, she would simply follow him. She was surprised at how calm she felt. After so many months and weeks of worrying about the Ichani threat, at last the time had come to do something about it.

"Lorlen has been calling me all day," Akkarin said suddenly. "The Guild is desperate now. The reports they've been getting have horrified them." He smiled, a dark humourless smile, "The Guild believes me now. They want me back. They need me."

"But you still won't respond?"

"No. We stand a much better chance if we are completely separate from whatever the Guild decides to do. If we went back now, they would try to control us, tell us where to go and what to do. That will not work."

"Many of them will be killed tomorrow," Sonea said and it wasn't a question. "Our friends, perhaps."

She felt Akkarin take her hand, "You must steel your heart, Sonea," he said quietly, "There will be losses, but you mustn't think of them, only of yourself and keeping yourself alive."

She heard the hidden message underlying his words, "I couldn't bear it if I lost you," she said, "Not now, not when I've just begun to know you."

He pulled her to her feet and took her in his arms. She leaned against him, listening to the steady sound of his heart. His hands rubbed her back, as she wrapped her arms around him . They stayed like that a moment or two, then she felt his fingers under her chin and raised her face to his. His lips gently enclosed her mouth and she gave herself up to the kiss which was long and deep.

_Time for sleep, Sonea_, he whispered in her mind.

_Sleep? _she sent and heard his laughter echo in her head.


	20. Three Nights

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Three Nights**

She was drowsy from their lovemaking, but her brain wouldn't let her sleep. It fixed on bits of things which had happened, then started a merry-go-round of thoughts in her head. No matter how she tried, sleep wouldn't come. She lay in the crook of Akkarin's arm, eyes open, staring into the darkness. If she closed them, terrible pictures of death and destruction filled her vision, so she preferred the comfort of the blackness which surrounded them.

_Lust or love?_ asked her brain as it remembered earlier questions. She still didn't know the answer. She had told Akkarin that she loved him, but he had never uttered those words to her. Oh, he was a considerate lover, she had to admit that. Although she had no experience, she could see he took care to ensure she enjoyed lovemaking as much as he seemed to do. But he never uttered the words she longed to hear.

_Of course he loves you,_ a part of her mind said firmly, _Remember how he was when he thought you didn't want him. _That thought cheered her for a few minutes until another part of her mind piped up with, _That was simply frustration because he felt in the mood to indulge his lust and he thought you weren't being cooperative._ After that unwelcome thought, she felt like putting her hands over her ears and screaming to her too active brain to shut up.

She turned her head to regard her companion. He seemed deeply asleep, his breaths slow and even. Although while they were in the wastelands, he hardly seemed to sleep at all, now, back in the city, he slept easily and deeply. There was just enough lessening of the darkness to allow her to see the pale oval of his face. She thought she would never tire of staring at it. How could she have ever thought him cold and evil? Now her eyes were opened to his worth, she could see the underlying warmth he usually kept hidden. She looked at the pattern created by the dark half-circlets of his eyelashes, the long, straight nose, but most of all his mouth. The chiselled lips she longed to kiss were slightly curved, as if he smiled in his sleep. She mentally sighed. It would be a relief to lie here and talk with him. _Only if he would tell you what you wanted to hear,_ her mind said slyly.

She forced her thoughts in the direction of the battle they must fight tomorrow. Now she knew of the plan to provide her with protectors, she could look out for them and try, somehow, to evade them. She was sure they would have instructions to keep her away from danger and that meant, of course, away from Akkarin. The obvious thing would be to use magic to deceive them. She had stored a lot of power from the donations and although she'd given some of it to Akkarin, she still had a lot remaining. She knew she should keep it for the physical struggle, but she thought she might be able to use a little of it to escape her bodyguards. There were one or two options she could try.

She shifted slightly in the bed, trying not to disturb Akkarin. He moved a little and she froze for a second or two, but the rhythm of his breathing never changed. She had decided what to do once the battle started. She would accept the things he told her to do, but she would make every effort to stay nearby, so that she could fight with him. Just how she was going to accomplish it without his knowing, she hadn't quite worked out yet, but she was determined to do it.

The minutes passed and still her thoughts whirled round and round. She was wide-awake now, even the drowsiness had worn off. She tried a few of Yikmo's mental exercises, but she soon grew bored. She was eager for the fight. The feelings of impending doom were so great, she just wanted it all over with. Dead or alive, at the moment, she didn't really care, just so long as it was all over.

"You should sleep, Sonea," Akkarin's voice came suddenly out of the darkness.

"Did I wake you?" she asked. "I'm sorry."

He tightened his arm around her, "No, I was already awake."

She wondered at that. Perhaps he had not been sleeping after all. She pressed herself against him, laying her head on his chest. She felt him smooth her hair.

"Are you afraid?" he asked softly.

She thought for a moment. It would be so easy to say no, but that wouldn't be right.

"Yes."

"Good," he said unexpectedly. "It's a very dangerous thing we must do and it's important to feel afraid, that way you won't take unnecessary risks."

"Are you afraid, Akkarin?"

He laughed softly, "I have a healthy respect for the Ichani, but I'm not afraid of them. I know I can defeat them, it's just a matter of knowing how. They told me over and over again I would never escape from slavery, yet I was able to kill the leader of the group which held me. I killed the others, too and their slaves, all except one, Takan."

"Was it terrible?" She still wanted to know everything, even the most dreadful.

He hesitated, then his voice came steadily, without emotion, "Yes, to live as a slave to people who wanted only to use you for something you could not help but provide is difficult to imagine. To go from being a respected magician in Kyralia to something to be used and punished, without respite, for years is difficult to bear. To an Ichani, a slave is a vessel to be plundered each day for his magic, that is his only value. The rest of the time, he is a object to be used for pleasure or pain as the mood takes his owner."

His voice faded away. She cursed herself for reminding him. She shifted in the bed until she was leaning over him. She kissed him softly, her hands in his hair.

_I'm sorry_, she sent, _I didn't want to bring back old memories_….

_You help me more than you know_, his mental voice was a tiny whisper, _Since we have been lovers, I've had no more dreams. With you I can sleep without fearing what the night might bring._

A feeling of triumph filled her. She could do something for him that perhaps no one else could do. The feeling awakened her desire for him. She used her hands to caress his body, tracing patterns on his skin and using her mouth to plant fluttering kisses every where she could reach. His response was immediate and gratifying; she gave herself up to his demands, relishing the way he took control of her body, taking his own considerable pleasure but in return, also ensuring her own joy and delight. It was if her body was being played like an instrument, her skin was tingling where he touched, and, deep within, waves of sensual pleasure flooded her whole being.

After it was over and she was lying once more at rest in his arms, she wondered if they would make love again tomorrow night. The next day would be fraught with danger and perhaps neither of them would survive. _Three nights_, she thought, _We've only had three nights together. I can't believe we've both been through so much for it to end tomorrow. There has to be more._


	21. Battle

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Battle**

Sonea ran down the lane, pushing her way through the panicking crowds as she tried to keep an eye on where Akkarin was going. All around her, she could hear the noise of explosions, some nearby, others further away. Each one created further alarm amongst the people. Throughout the North Quarter, groups of robed figures were harrying the Ichani, concentrating on their task to break them up into smaller groups. Occasionally she heard the rumble of falling buildings accompanied by shouts of alarm or discovery. Everything seemed to be going to plan, but she had no time to worry about that. It was if everything outside herself and Akkarin didn't exist. Her only thought, her only imperative, was to follow him, ready to join him in whatever struggle he engaged in.

She had been totally unprepared for the confusion in the streets around her, once the battle started. When she and Akkarin had killed Ichani before, they had been alone, or in a situation where there were no other people at risk. This was completely different. The people left behind in the city were afraid. Perhaps they were unsure of exactly what they were afraid of, but they were terrified all the same. That fear translated into blind panic. In amongst the crowd, she caught glimpses of Guild magicians and some of the King's Guard, who appeared as frightened as the rest of the people. She made sure to keep out of their way. The last thing she needed was to be stopped by any of them; any delay would prevent her from keeping up with Akkarin.

She stumbled on an uneven cobble and tripped, falling awkwardly. Although she scrambled to her feet almost immediately, Akkarin had disappeared by the time she was upright. "Damn!" she muttered, still running towards where she last saw him. When she reached the spot, he was nowhere in sight and she couldn't see immediately where he might have gone.

The battle in the streets of Imardin had already lasted nearly two hours and it was difficult to gauge how well it was going. As far as she could judge, they had managed to eliminate at least half of the Ichani who had entered the city. However, she thought these were probably the least experienced of the group. It was the ones who were left who would be the most difficult to deal with. She was tired, but refused to use Healing to avoid depleting her power. She knew only too well how dangerous it would be to face a black magician with low reserves of power.

The day had started very early, with a final discussion of Akkarin's plan. Takan had been given the job of acting as the link between Akkarin and Cery, using the blood gem connection to allow Akkarin to control just where Cery's band of men went to spread confusion in the path of the Ichani. Later, as she ran through the streets, she had seen a group of Cery's men at work. They were disguised in robes, and took on a group of Ichani slaves accompanied by a master. She was surprised to see a few forcestrikes and couldn't work out how the false magicians could be using magic, then she caught sight of Senfel amongst them. _He must still be under a compulsion_, she thought. _Trust Akkarin to find a way of giving some credibility to the robed men! _

The Ichani had poured through the remains of the destroyed Northern Gate, just as Akkarin had predicted. She, Akkarin and a few of Cery's men had been waiting for them. In those vital first minutes they succeeded in disrupting the Ichani progress and splitting off some of the magicians from the others. She and Akkarin cornered one of them and destroyed him very quickly, draining his power before turning their attention to the others. They pursued another pair and drove them into a yard with only one entrance. The Ichani had turned to fight, but as they couldn't coordinate their attack, and were unprepared for a battle with Kyralian black magicians who could, it had been easy to defeat them.

These early successes had given Sonea a deceptive rush of self-confidence. It seemed so easy, picking them off one-by-one. She began to relax. Surely Akkarin had over-estimated the difficulty of their task. She noticed a single female Ichani dart into a narrow passageway and set off in pursuit without a second thought. She rushed down the alley, not stopping to take account of her surroundings, and found herself in a small open area, apparently alone. She skidded to a halt and turned to look around for a door or other hiding place. That was her mistake. A shape fell upon her from above, knocking her to the ground. She was momentarily stunned and in that instant, the Ichani made a cut on her arm and Sonea felt the outward rush of her power as it was drained from her. She couldn't control any of her magic, not even to Heal the cut. She tried to push the woman off, but could not dislodge her. Her power continued to drain and she knew if she didn't stop it very soon, it would be too late. She could feel herself growing weaker, the edges of her vision darkening. She bucked and twisted desperately underneath the woman without success. Just as she was beginning to despair, the Ichani was blasted by a forcestrike which knocked her off Sonea, breaking her hold.

Sonea leapt to her feet, Healing the cut on her arm as she did so. She saw Akkarin standing over the Ichani woman, holding her immobile.

"Don't just stand there!" he said sharply. "Deal with her."

Sonea made a swift cut on the woman's neck and took her power, replacing what she had lost and gaining more.

"Thank you," she said gratefully.

Akkarin glared at her, "I don't have time to rescue you," he said sharply. "If you can't cope, get away and let me concentrate on what I need to do."

She felt herself flush at the reprimand. It was well deserved. She knew better than to simply follow a black magician into an unknown area without a single thought for the consequences. If Akkarin hadn't come after her, she would be dead. She knew that all too well.

"How did you know?" she asked him.

He didn't answer, but out of the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of a stocky man, dressed in robes, lurking near the passage and guessed that one of her 'protectors' had somehow told him of her plight.

"Come on," he said brusquely, "We have to keep up with them."

Rejoining the street, Akkarin had a few words with one of Cery's men then gestured for her to follow. They skirted the North Square and plunged down another road, all the time getting closer to the Guild. They were following a trail of destruction left by the Ichani. She saw several still bodies lying where they had fallen, one or two of whom were wearing dark robes. Almost at the same time she began to see images sent by dying magicians, and she couldn't prevent her mind filling with despairing mental messages as Guild magicians tried and failed to stop the Ichani.

Suddenly, Akkarin swerved away from the trail down another series of streets, where there were no signs of fighting. At first she wondered what he was doing, then she realised he was trying to get ahead of the Ichani. Not long afterwards, he came to a stop. They were in a side street, which was relatively calm, with no sign of disturbance. He pulled her over to the side and spoke quickly.

"What's left of them are still grouped together. Cery's men are going to close in on them to scatter as many as they can," he said. "We can expect them to break up into smaller groups and find different ways to get to the Guild. I need you here to watch for any sign of Ichani in this area and send to me at once if you see them. Try everything you can to keep them from reaching the Guild."

She stared at him. This was it, the time when he separated her from danger. She didn't believe for a moment that the Ichani would pass her way. She thought it was more than likely that they were already past this point. That's why he'd told her to send to him, the Guild would not hear her, because she would not have a message to send. She could see two of her protectors in the background, trying to pretend they had other business. Her safe position was being carefully constructed.

"How long do you want me to wait, Akkarin?" She was proud of the way her voice remained steady.

He was silent for a few seconds, then said, "No more than thirty minutes. If no one has come by then, make your way towards the University."

_Thirty minutes, enough time for him to kill or be killed, _her thoughts were dominated by her fear of what might happen. She knew better, though, than to argue.

"The University? Is that where you'll be?" she asked calmly.

He ignored her question, instead he said urgently, "Remember what we discussed this morning. Under no circumstances are the Ichani to be allowed anywhere near the Arena. If I cannot stop them from entering the Guild grounds, you must make sure they don't get access to the Arena. Get the others to help you, if necessary. There will be plenty of magicians milling around the Guild. You must persuade them to help you. I will join you_…" if I can_….was the unspoken end of his sentence.

She remembered her astonishment earlier that morning when Akkarin disclosed that black magicians could take power from buildings which were imbued with magic. The Arena, of course, was the one building in the whole of Kyralia where magic was routinely added to strengthen it. She shared his concern about letting the Ichani gain access to it. Once they absorbed that power, there would be no stopping them.

"I'll go on," he said, but instead of leaving immediately, he stared at her for a few moments and she wondered what was going through his mind. She was afraid that she knew – he was saying goodbye. She couldn't bear his scrutiny, so she turned away to find a place to wait. When she looked again, he had gone.

"May the Eye of Heaven keep you safe," she whispered, the old dwell prayer coming easily to her despite her years away from dwell life.

She closed her eyes and began to create an illusion. She needed to get away quickly and her main idea was to create a copy of herself standing in full view of her protectors. She didn't know how long the illusion would last, especially as she would not be nearby, but it was the best she could think of. It only took a minute or two. She sent it out into the street a little until she was sure they'd seen it, then slipped away.

She gambled on the direction Akkarin would take. She knew he was following the path of the Ichani, but at the same time, falling back towards the Guild, as they'd agreed. She ran down her chosen route and after a few minutes was rewarded with a distant view of the tall figure of Akkarin some way ahead. She had tracked him relatively easily, until she tripped on the cobble and now she'd lost sight of him.

She stared around in panic. _Where is he? _

She stared in every direction, slowly turning in a complete circle. No Akkarin anywhere. It was her bad luck that when she tripped, they had been near a maze of narrow streets and alleys. He could have gone down any one of them and so could the Ichani. If she couldn't find him quickly, it would mean the end of her plans. He had said thirty minutes, so he expected to get to the Ichani very soon. She had no time to lose. She looked around again, hoping against hope she would catch sight of him, but saw nothing. She stumbled towards a wall and leaned on it, hands covering her face. She had failed.

She was startled by a gentle touch on her arm. She looked up and found Takan standing in front of her, a calm expression on his face.

"Takan!" she gasped as she grabbed his arm, "Where's Akkarin?"

"I will show you," he said.

Giving silent thanks for the blood gem link between Akkarin and his servant, Sonea followed him as he led her down a series of back streets. Eventually, she found herself near to the gates of the Guild. Takan pulled her into a gap between two buildings, out of sight of passers-by. There was no sign of Akkarin. She looked at the servant quizzically.

"He will come soon," Takan said. "I sense him nearby."

"How did you know where to find me?" she asked.

Takan smiled broadly, "I knew when he left you. I could sense him most strongly and I could tell roughly where he was, so I simply searched for you. Listen carefully," Takan's voice took on an insistent tone, "There is much danger here. Most of the Guild magicians have retreated into the grounds. They have had many losses and they are afraid. Akkarin has killed another two Ichani, but there are still three left and they are coming. You must help him, because I sense he is weakening."

As he had been speaking, Sonea could hear the familiar sounds of a magical struggle coming closer.

"What will you do now?" she asked him.

"I shall wait in case Akkarin or you need strength," the servant replied, moving deeper into the gap, out of sight.

She peered at the Guild gates. They were firmly shut and she could see Warriors milling around inside. The noise of battle came closer, then Akkarin came into view. He was facing three Ichani magicians who were hurling a variety of forcestrikes and stunstrikes at him. So far his shield was holding, but she could see parts of it were weakening. He kept the three away from him by the force and direction of his strikes, but they were simply waiting for his power to lessen, then, she knew, they would close in for the kill.

None of them had seen her yet. She kept still and watched as the three Sachakans continued to push Akkarin back. Soon he would be trapped between the gates and the Ichani, with nowhere to go. She could see two or three Warriors come close to the gate to see what was happening, but they made no attempt to join in. She wondered if they knew who he was. If they did, they would not let him in.

As the group drew level with her hiding place, she stepped forward, and concentrating her power on the nearest Ichani, she began to batter his shield. He was taken completely by surprise and his momentum faltered. She pounded him with the most powerful strikes she could manage and was rewarded by signs of his shield weakening.

Almost as if he were standing next to her, she heard Yikmo's instructions in her mind, telling her exactly where to place her strikes. She carefully followed the dead Warrior's instructions and saw her enemy fall, his shield disintegrating under the force of her attack. Within seconds she was on him, taking his power.

That left two. They had taken no notice of her actions, preferring to concentrate on Akkarin. She could see the weaknesses in his shield were spreading.

_Akkarin, I'm coming_, she sent.

There was no need for secrecy now, not when they were at the Guild gates in full view.

He made no response, nor looked in her direction, but concentrated on defending himself and keeping the Ichani at bay. She moved over to Akkarin's side and faced the Ichani. Akkarin was sending most of his strikes against the older one and she guessed this must be the leader.

_So your little pet has joined us, _an unfamiliar mental voice spoke. _I shall look forward to having her._

Akkarin made no reply but continued his onslaught. Sonea took on the younger one and began to attack him, successfully diverting his attention away from Akkarin. The battle between the four of them raged on, with neither side gaining a permanent advantage. She lost track of time, lost in a continuous process of striking at the enemy and strengthening her shield. She was conscious of Akkarin doing the same. She hadn't time to look at him for more than a second or two. Everything else around her faded from her conscious thoughts. It was as if the four of them were cut off from everything else. The only noise was the sharp sound of their strikes, the only living things were the four of them.

_Akkarin you have lost. Soon all will witness my triumph._

_You waste your time, Kariko. I will stop you here. You will go no further._

She was surprised how calm and unhurried Akkarin's mental voice was. Anyone not present would never imagine he was fighting for his life. She was filled with a feeling of certainty. They were going to win this battle. She redoubled her efforts, recklessly using her power to strengthen her strikes. She was rewarded by signs that her Ichani was worried by the ferocity of her attack, as he began to give ground a little. She shut out the other two to concentrate more strongly on her opponent. _There! _She hammered his shield relentlessly and watched as his expression turned to horror as she began to penetrate it. _Again! Again! _She was chanting in her head as each strike thudded into his shield. Then it was all over. She felled him with a fierce collection of strikes. She fumbled for her knife, made the cut and drained what was left of his power. It wasn't much, certainly not enough to replenish what it had cost her to defeat him.

She turned to help Akkarin. To her horror, he was being forced back more quickly. It was only a matter of time before he would be pressed up against the gates. She tried to reach his side, but Kariko seemed full of power and was able to send enough strikes towards her to keep her away.

_I will hang what's left of you on the gates for all to see._

She could hear the eager anticipation in Kariko's voice. She redoubled her efforts to reach Akkarin, conscious that her power levels were falling fast. _There has to be enough left! _She continued to push forward, keeping her shield at its maximum by reducing her strikes. _I must reach him, I must!_

_Stay away! _Akkarin's voice commanded, _Stay away, Sonea!_

She ignored him. She could see that Kariko's attack was even fiercer than before and Akkarin's shield was weakening fast. She had to get to him and give him some of her found herself struggling to contain the strikes against her shield. Her power was depleting more quickly than she'd hoped and still she hadn't been able to reach Akkarin close enough to touch. There was a blinding flash and she heard mocking laughter from Kariko. When her sight cleared she was horrified to find another Ichani had joined Kariko and this one was targeting her.

She turned to face him, keeping her shield strong, but she knew that time was running out. She could not help Akkarin now, all her efforts were focused on the newcomer. He was strong and his shield was firm. Nothing she could do could make even the smallest impact on it.

She heard a tremendous sound from where Kariko and Akkarin were fighting and then a loud gasp. She turned her attention away from her attacker and was horrified to see that Akkarin was on the ground, his shield gone and Kariko poised above him, his raised hand holding his jewelled knife. Without thinking she sent a powerful blast towards him. Kariko, who had perhaps assumed that his companion was keeping her busy, had dropped his shield ready to make an end of his fallen opponent. Sonea's blow struck him hard and he toppled sideways.

Everything happened at once. Sonea's opponent gave a loud cry and rushed to where Kariko was lying. Sonea scrambled to Akkarin. He was lying still, his hand clasping the hilt of a dagger buried in his chest. His eyes were open and he was still conscious, although his breathing was harsh.

"I'll Heal you," she said frantically.

"No," he said faintly, "You must deal with Kariko first."

She looked up. Her erstwhile attacker had gathered up his fallen leader in his arms and was trying to help him. She could see that both Ichani were vulnerable. She looked once more at Akkarin, trying to judge how long he could sustain himself without Healing.

"Go," he ordered. "I'll be all right for a few minutes."

She got up and collected herself for a strike against the Ichani. Before she could deliver it, she was struck by a fierce strike which came from the kneeling Ichani. The last thing she remembered was the look of pure hatred on his face as he aimed at her and the pain as the strike hit her.

She felt herself fall and then everything went black.


	22. Capture

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Capture**

There was a dull pounding somewhere causing her body to reverberate in time with it. It took a moment to realise she had a terrible headache. Automatically Sonea tried Healing, but nothing happened. Her power was absolutely zero, there was nothing at all left. Her eyes were tightly closed against the light she could sense around her. She could tell she was lying flat somewhere, but not against the hard ground by the Guild gates. She was lying in a bed.

Her eyes sprang open as that thought hit her. She closed them with a groan as the sharp light lanced into her causing more pain. That brief glimpse told her she was in a small room, with pale walls. Had Takan rescued them? Had he managed to get them away somewhere safe? Was this another of Akkarin's bolt holes in the city?

Her mind was almost too weary to even think about the many questions swirling around her brain. She had never, in all her life, felt as exhausted as she did now. It was as if she was suffering the worst possible bol hangover and she almost wept with the pain of it. She longed for sleep. Yes, sleep was the answer and when she awoke, all would be right again. She felt herself drift slowly away to where there was no pounding headache, somewhere warm and inviting, somewhere where there was no pain.

The pounding had reduced to a dull, but persistent, ache when she surfaced again. The room was still light, so it couldn't have been that long, but she did feel better. She opened her eyes slowly and found the brightness in the room didn't hurt quite so much. She took stock of her surroundings. As she remembered from her quick glimpse before, the room was small with white walls. The window was high up in the wall, impossible to see out of, but obviously able to catch sunlight, so wherever she was, it wasn't in a slum tenement, but somewhere in the open. There was little in the room, a bed, a chair and a small table, nothing else.

She tried Healing, but still nothing. She sat up slowly, the room spinning around her for a few moments. She waited until it stopped, then swung her feet over the side of the bed. The floor had no rugs or carpets and she winced as her feet found the bare boards. There was no sign of her shoes. She looked down at herself. Her clothes, including the false robes were gone. She was wearing a sleeping garment made of some coarse material, gathered at the neck by a cord, and with long sleeves gathered at her wrists. As she stood up, it fell to just below her knees. It was horrible.

She stood up gingerly, the room once more spinning, but this time a little more slowly. She closed her eyes and waited, then opened them again. The room was steady. She tottered over to the door and as she suspected, it was locked. _I'm somewhere in the Guild, _she thought. _They must have opened the gates and rescued us._

She got back into bed and wondered how long it would be before someone came. _I wonder where Akkarin is? Perhaps he's in the next room._ She knocked on the wall next to the bed. The walls seemed to be quite thick because she couldn't hear any noise. It was almost as if the walls absorbed her knocking. Giving it up as a bad job, she lay down again and closed her eyes. There was nothing else to do.

Time passed, how much she had no real idea, although she did notice that the light through the window was fading a little. She thought it was probably late afternoon or early evening. The struggle in front of the gates had taken place around mid-day, so she'd been here for five or six hours at the most. _If it's the same day! _She wondered if it was possible to have slept for over twenty-four hours. If it were that long, surely her power would have started to recover. She tried for Healing again, but again nothing happened. _No, it must be the same day_, she thought.

She heard a faint click as the lock was disengaged and turned her head to look at the door. It opened slowly and a Healer came in, carrying a covered tray. It was no one Sonea recognised. He came over to the small table and put down the tray.

"Where am I?" Sonea asked. "What time is it?"

The Healer shook his head and laid a finger on his lips. He took hold of her hand and held it for a moment, then laid it down again on the bed. He turned towards the tray and picked up a bowl. Sitting in the chair, he took a spoonful of the contents and offered it to her.

"I can eat it myself," she said tartly. "I'm not injured."

Again he shook his head and offered the spoonful, holding it near to her lips. Obstinately she refused to open them. It was all too ridiculous. First of all he wouldn't talk to her and then he wanted to feed her like a child.

He put the spoon back in the bowl and stared at her, his expression one of annoyance. He stirred the contents and filled the spoon again, repeating his movements. The spoon and its contents were just below her nose and she could smell it. It made her stomach revolt and she turned her head away. When she looked again, he'd replaced the bowl and spoon on the tray. He picked up a roll and broke it into small pieces and offered her one.

"Look, I don't want it. Take it away!" Sonea was getting really annoyed with the whole situation.

He glared at her for a moment, then picked up the tray. He hesitated for a moment, before putting the jug of water and a mug down on the table. Then, taking the rest of the food, he left the room and she heard the click of the lock then caught the faint sound of his footsteps disappearing.

She wondered if Akkarin had the same Healer and whether he would eat the food. Probably he would because he would see it as a way of keeping up his strength. She wasn't hungry at all and the smell of whatever was in that bowl had been the final straw. However, she did feel thirsty.

She reached over and poured some water into the mug. _No glass_, she thought, _I wonder why? Do they think I would use it as a weapon? _Even as she started to giggle at that thought, she became convinced that it was true. The Guild was still uncertain of her true motives and purpose. They would be of Akkarin too, that was why they'd been separated and locked up. She remembered what Akkarin had said to her, the day they had crossed over the border back into Kyralia - _Now we are foresworn. Death is the penalty we face if we're caught, with no appeal_ – and suddenly, she was afraid.

Twice more the Healer reappeared and tried to feed her. Twice more, she refused. She drank the water, though, and he replenished the jug when it was empty. The light was fading rapidly now and as there was no other means of lighting in the room and her power was still unavailable, she resigned herself to soon lying in the dark.

Her thoughts were focussed on Akkarin and where he might be. Surely they wouldn't have killed him out of hand for returning? Not when he had clearly been attacking the Ichani and killing them. But the more she thought about it, the more convinced she became that nothing good would happen to him now he was back in the Guild. She remembered their Hearing and how the Higher Magicians had offered her a chance to remain, but that chance had not been offered to Akkarin. For him it was either immediate execution or almost certain death in exile. The fact that she'd chosen to go with him had kept him alive, but it had also angered those who had argued on her behalf.

She couldn't help but remember the tearing of her robe and the ritual words spoken by almost everyone. There were one or two exceptions, people who knew her well and were concerned for her welfare, but the others? They were probably only too pleased to see the back of the upstart dwell novice.

Lying alone in the darkening room, she couldn't help but be depressed at the direction her thoughts were taking her. Would the Guild now keep her imprisoned because she was a dangerous black magician or would they execute her for being foresworn? She didn't know for certain, but either way, her future didn't seem particularly bright. More than anything though, she was worried about Akkarin and what they would do with him. She longed for him, to find comfort in being together, so she could face whatever the future was.

The light had finally gone when she heard approaching footsteps and the lock disengage. She prepared herself for another irritating session with the Healer, but this time, it was another who came in, a small globe light illuminating the room and showing her the trim figure of Lady Vinara, the Healers' Leader. She was carrying a tray of food.

Vinara locked the door behind her and placed the tray on the table. She took off the cover and Sonea could smell something which made her mouth water suddenly. She refused to look at it, however, determined not to eat until she got some answers to her questions.

Vinara took Sonea's hand for a few moments and seemed satisfied with what she found because she nodded slightly as she laid the hand down again.

"You must eat," she said. "You need to recover your strength."

"Where's Akkarin?" Sonea asked, ignoring the food.

"You are not to speak, Sonea," Vinara replied. "My discussions with you will be limited to your health, nothing else."

Sonea stared at her in disbelief, "Not speak? Why not? Why am I kept in a locked room? Where is Akkarin?"

The questions she'd been thinking about for the past few hours poured from her mouth, but to no avail. Vinara ignored them, merely saying, "You will eat, or I will send for people to hold you down and force the food in your mouth myself."

It was on the tip of Sonea's tongue to tell Vinara to send for help, if that's what she wanted, but something held her back. It would do her no good to act like a spoiled, defiant child. This was a battle she couldn't win and it would be far better to eat with some dignity rather than be held down and forcibly fed. She needed food or she would be unable to function properly. She needed to be able to think clearly, otherwise she would never be able to get out of here.

"I will eat," she said, her voice expressionless.

Vinara smiled briefly, "Good."

However, to Sonea's frustration, Vinara wouldn't let her feed herself. Like her predecessor, Vinara seated herself in the chair and raised a full spoon to Sonea's lips. For a moment, Sonea rebelled, but then, with her new resolve to take advantage of what was offered, she took a mouthful. It was some sort of stew, a bit chewy, but tasty. She chewed and swallowed, chewed and swallowed, over and over again like an automaton each offering Vinara made. Before long, the bowl was empty.

Vinara stood up and collected the tray. She put a fresh jug of water down by Sonea and then said, "Remember what I said, you are not to speak. Other people may come to bring you food, but they are under strict instructions not to have any conversation with you. I alone will speak to you and that will only be about your own health. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Sonea said defiantly, "I am not to speak to any of you any time or ask any questions or open my mouth except to eat and certainly make no noise at all."

Vinara fixed her with a stern look, "We can do this the easy way and you can agree not to speak, or I will use a spell to prevent you. The choice is yours."

After Vinara had gone, Sonea tried to work out why she was not allowed to speak. The only reason she could think of was that they were afraid she would corrupt one of the people who were looking after her. Presumably, Vinara was made of sterner stuff and would not be swayed, but the others…well, who knew what a black magician was capable of!

She wondered if this would be what imprisonment would be like. Endless years of silence and solitude. _I'd rather be dead_, she thought.


	23. Another Hearing

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Another Hearing**

After Vinara left she lay down again on the bed, consumed with worry about what had happened to Akkarin. They were not going to tell her, she knew that now. But it wouldn't stop her asking the question whenever she could. She was still thinking about him when she drifted off to sleep. Later, she remembered parts of a dream where she and Akkarin were running in the dark, she didn't know who or what was chasing them, all she knew was they must not be caught. She was bathed in sweat when she awoke and the bed linen was rucked up around her legs. She rubbed her forehead and stared at her damp hand. She shouldn't sweat, not now she was a magician.

She tried a little Healing, but like the day before, there was nothing. She began to panic. Her powers of recovery were good and she should have regained use of her magic by now. She tried again, with the same result. _What has caused this? _She tried to remember exactly what happened before she'd lost consciousness yesterday. She remembered the second Ichani who had simply appeared from nowhere. She remembered sending a powerful blast towards Kariko as he tried to cut Akkarin. What happened next? It was all a bit of a blur, but she persevered, piecing together the sequence of events.

The strike, which toppled her, had come from the second Ichani. She remembered the look of pure hatred on his face. Had he some sort of skill which affected her ability to reach her magic source? The more she thought about it, the more she thought it possible. She must discuss this with Vinara when she came again. After all, a magician's magic source and its access was part of her health, wasn't it?

Vinara didn't come during the morning. A different Healer had come soon after Sonea awoke and brought a bowl of warm water, some soap and a towel. Left alone for a while, she was able to have a good wash. She hated having to put on the scratchy sleeping garment again, but she had no other clothes.

The water was collected by yet another Healer, who also brought breakfast. Again, she wasn't allowed to feed herself. She silently suffered the humiliation of having her bread broken into small pieces, smeared with butter and honey, then handed to her, one piece at a time. She also noticed that there were no knives with her food, just spoons.

She would dearly have loved a cup of raka, but again, only water was provided with her meal.

After the remains of her breakfast were taken away, she explored every bit of her room. It didn't take long. As she originally thought, there was very little in it, just the three pieces of furniture and nothing of hers at all. She looked at the window high above her, if only she could see out, she might be able to work out where she was. She dragged the bed over to it and stood on it, but her efforts only allowed her to see more of the sky and nothing of any other buildings nearby. She wondered whereabouts in the Guild she might be. She tried to think if she had ever heard of any buildings used to keep people separate from the rest. There were prison cells, she knew, but she couldn't remember hearing about other places where people could be locked away.

She dragged the bed back to its original place and sat cross-legged on it. She needed to concentrate. She must find a way out of her room, and then try to find Akkarin. _Have they Healed him? _The last time she had seen him, he'd been lying with a dagger in his chest. She didn't want to think of what might have happened if he hadn't been able to Heal himself a little. _How long had it been before the Guild sent someone to rescue them?_ It might not have been long, after all there had been Warriors just inside the gates and they'd seen what had happened.

She was still absorbed in her thoughts when Vinara came. She heard the click of the lock and looked up at the door expecting her mid-day meal. Vinara came in, her face expressionless, giving nothing away. She went through her ten-minute routine of checking Sonea. then pulled up the chair and sat next to the bed.

"You are continuing to regain your strength, Sonea. Make sure you eat all the food and drink all the water."

"I have a question," Sonea said, "About my health."

"What is it?"

"I was hit by a blast from an Ichani and now my power has not renewed itself. Can you do something about it?"

Vinara looked at her searchingly for a moment, "It has nothing to do with what happened during your attack on the Ichani," she said eventually.

Sonea was puzzled by her words; it was a strange way of putting it, her attack on the Ichani, almost as if she was the instigator and cause of it all.

"Then what is causing it?" she asked sharply.

"It has been decided to prevent your power from recovering for the moment. There is a drug in your food which acts as a barrier."

Sonea stared at Vinara, open-mouthed, "You have blocked my power? Why?" Then she answered her own question.

"Of course, locked in a room, forbidden to speak, prevented from feeding myself, no knives with my food and now unable to access my magic. You are afraid of me because I am a black magician."

Vinara smiled, a tight, patronising smile. "Exactly, Sonea. You will remain under these conditions until it has been decided what to do with you."

"Surely the Guild understands now…."

"You are not to speak of things other than your health," Vinara interrupted.

"I demand to know where Akkarin is," Sonea said fiercely, paying no attention to the order. "I want to see him."

But Vinara ignored her; moving to the door, she opened it and retrieved a tray from outside. She brought it back to the table and uncovered it. There was the customary bowl of stew, a bread roll and another jug of water. She eyed it suspiciously. Where was the drug? In the stew? In the water? In both?

She had almost made up her mind to refuse it when Vinara spoke coldly. "You will eat, Sonea, either voluntarily or I will make you. Don't imagine for one moment that you will be allowed to choose."

There was nothing for it but to accept Vinara's conditions. Sonea obediently opened her mouth when the spoon arrived at her lips, and chewed and swallowed until all the food was gone.

"Good girl," the Healer said as she packed everything back on the tray and replaced the cover.

Sonea felt herself grow hot at the patronising tone of Vinara's voice. She had always liked the Healer, who had so often been one of her teachers, but now, another side of her had been revealed and Sonea didn't like this Vinara at all. Yet she was her only contact with permission to speak with her and it was only Vinara who could answer her questions. Perhaps she should try to behave better, be nice to her, try a little charm perhaps, and then she might find out what she needed to know.

"Vinara," she started, "What….."

"You will address me as Lady Vinara," the Healer interrupted. "You are no longer a Guild magician, Sonea, with all the privileges associated with that status. The sooner you remember that, the better it will be."

The shock hit Sonea in the gut and she gasped. Somehow, she had forgotten exactly what the events at their Hearing and its aftermath truly meant. But Akkarin had. Now she remembered that Akkarin, on the rare times he had spoken on their journey to the border, had scrupulously addressed the other magicians using the honorific. She hadn't realised the significance before. She was truly a rogue magician now, outside the Guild, removed from its protection. In her naivety, she had thought that their actions in fighting the Ichani and preserving the Guild from direct attack would wipe out all that had gone before. Now she knew the truth. She and Akkarin were still rogue magicians who had broken the terms of their exile and therefore were subject to the full penalty of the law.

Vinara saw how Sonea's face paled and smiled, "Ah, I see you finally understand exactly what your position is. Now listen to me, it's in your own best interests to do what you're told when you're told to do it. The High Lord will want to see you soon, so be prepared for that."

"The High Lord…?" Sonea's voice showed her bewilderment, "Who…..?"

Again, Vinara smiled that tight, patronising smile, "High Lord Balkan, of course."

Vinara signalled the end of any conversation by walking to the door and releasing the lock. She left without any further acknowledgement of Sonea, closing the door quietly behind her, then resetting the lock. Sonea listened to her fading footsteps then heard the very faint sound of another door closing. So her room was in a corridor, with another door at the end. Her mind squirreled that piece of information away. It might just be useful.

Time passed very slowly. She had nothing to do except think and her thoughts were increasingly unpleasant. She was beginning to fear that she would spend the rest of her life shut away in this room, or another very like it. It must have been at least two or three hours later before another Healer came in to her prison. This Healer was accompanied by a Warrior. She was carrying a bundle of clothing which she dropped on the bed.

"You will dress in these," she said, not looking directly at Sonea. "We will wait outside, when you have finished, knock on the door."

_Progress_, Sonea thought bitterly, _She spoke to me!_

She examined the clothes. They weren't new, but they were clean and had been freshly pressed. There was a skirt made of some heavy material in a muddy brown colour and a pale brown linen shirt, quite plain, with buttons down the front and long sleeves. There was a jacket, also in muddy brown. They didn't quite fit properly. The skirt was far too long so she had to roll the top over and over several times around her waist to prevent it trailing on the floor and tripping her up. The shirtsleeves also needed rolling up to free her hands. The jacket, in contrast, was rather tight. There was no mirror in the room, but Sonea suspected that she looked a sight in the clothing. They were more suited to the poorest servant than a magician, but she supposed they were meant to make a point. She was not a Guild magician any more.

She knocked on the door as instructed. It opened almost immediately and Sonea found herself in a corridor, as she'd suspected, with several doors on either side and another at the far end. They formed into a small procession, the Healer in front, then Sonea with the Warrior bringing up the rear. They walked down the corridor and through the far+ door, which was locked behind them.

Sonea tried to remember their exact route, but after a few minutes of moving through several corridors and a number of doors, she was somewhat confused. They saw no other people on their journey and the building, whatever it was, was completely silent, only the sound of their footsteps on the bare boards and the clicking of locks being unlocked and relocked disturbed the silence.

Eventually, they found themselves outside another door. The Healer knocked, then opened it. She gestured for Sonea to go through, and stood back, so only Sonea and the Warrior entered. Sonea found herself in a room with a large table at one end with several chairs behind it and one chair in front. There was no one else in the room.

The Warrior indicated the solitary chair in front of the table and Sonea went to it and sat down. _This looks like there's going to be another Hearing_ she thought. _Only one chair for the accused, so I won't be seeing Akkarin today. _She felt butterflies in her stomach and tried to calm herself down. Some minutes passed and no one else came to the room. They seemed very good at making her wait and she supposed it was a deliberate action.

Eventually more people arrived and took their places behind the table. Vinara, of course, then an Alchemist she didn't recognise and a Warrior she vaguely knew as one of Yikmo's assistants. The chair in the middle remained unoccupied and she supposed it was for the new High Lord. She steeled herself for the sight of another black-clad figure in impressive robes who was not Akkarin, but when Balkan finally arrived, she got a shock because he was dressed in unfamiliar white robes. _They don't suit him_, she thought nastily, _Not with his pasty complexion and sandy hair! _But at least, having him in light coloured robes made looking at him easier to bear.

The others had risen at the High Lord's entrance, but she remained seated. After all, she was no longer a Guild magician, bound by their rules. Balkan noticed this, of course, and he stared at her for a moment, daring her to remain seated, but she studiously ignored him and he sat down without getting her acknowledgement. He shuffled some papers in front of him, then looked at her. She stared defiantly back.

Balkan cleared his throat and said, "I want you to tell me every thing that you've done since you were put over the border into Sachaka."

"Where is Akkarin?" Sonea was determined to get an answer to her most important question.

She heard a snort from Vinara, but didn't allow it to deflect her attention from Balkan.

"Answer my question," Balkan said.

"When you've answered mine," she said calmly. "I've asked it several times without an answer. It's a simple question and I demand an answer."

For a moment, it looked as if Balkan would also refuse, but finally he said, "Akkarin's gone."

_Gone? What did he mean, gone? _A frown creased her forehead as she stared at the High Lord. She ignored the pain growing in the pit of her stomach and forced her voice to remain steady, "What exactly do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said, Akkarin's gone. Akkarin is dead."

Although she had been prepared for the words, they still hit her like a blow to the gut.

"Can I see his body?" she asked, hoping no one noticed the faint quiver in her voice.

She heard an exasperated noise from Balkan, "I've answered your question, now tell me everything from the time you entered the wastelands."

"I want to see his body," she repeated.

"There is no body." It was Vinara who had spoken.

Sonea stared at her, "No body? There is no body?"

"Has forbidden magic turned your brain?" Vinara snapped, "How many more times must I say it?"

Balkan made a calming gesture to the Healer, then turned his attention once more to Sonea, "You've had your answer. Now can we continue?"

Meanwhile, Sonea was having difficulty controlling her emotions. She must not, under any circumstances, let them suspect her relationship with Akkarin. There must be no displays of grief. She must not cry. She wasn't entirely sure why this was important, she just knew it was. _Akkarin is dead, just like he said he would be_. _I couldn't keep my promise. _She wanted to cover her face and let her tears flow, to scream and rage at callous fate which allowed Akkarin to die and left her alone. But she didn't have that luxury.

She forced herself to remain outwardly calm as she decided what she must say now.


	24. A Plan of Sorts

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**A Plan of Sorts**

Sonea emptied her mind of all thought. She silently repeated a mental exercise she'd learned from Yikmo, one which prepared Warriors for a difficult battle. It was apt, she knew, because she was about to embark on a battle, a battle of wits which she must win. Nothing she said must give them any clue to what had really happened on her journey with Akkarin. There was still his memory to protect as well as her own future to consider.

Balkan cleared his throat and repeated his question. She looked directly at him, shutting the others out and began. She told of the daily struggle to survive in the wastelands with nothing but their own ability to deal with the lack of water, little food and a difficult journey. She told of the Ichani sent to capture them.

"Your mental communication with the Guild was so loud," she said staring Balkan straight in the eye, "That every Ichani within the wastelands must have heard it. We thought you probably didn't realise what would happen afterwards."

Balkan dropped his eyes under her accusing stare and had the grace to look disconcerted. _I was right_, she thought without surprise, _He did intend them to hear!_

"What happened to these Ichani?" the High Lord asked.

"We killed them."

There was a sharp intake of breath from someone at the table, she didn't know which one. What did they expect? That she and Akkarin would tamely let the Ichani capture them? She went on with her tale, only stopping when Balkan asked a question. She described a formal relationship with Akkarin, with herself carrying out his orders, much as if she were still a novice. She spoke of reaching the border, then hearing the destruction at the Northern Fort.

"We called you," Balkan said, "Why didn't you respond?"

"It was important the Ichani didn't know where we were. If we had responded they could have heard us. Even if they didn't, they would read it from the mind of the first Guild magician they captured."

"Did Akkarin tell you this?"

When she nodded, Balkan went on, "And you believed what he said?"

She looked at him carefully. He was trying to manoeuvre her story in some way, but to what end? She didn't know, yet.

"Nothing Akkarin ever told me has turned out to be untrue," she retorted. _Let him make of that what he will_.

When she got to the part of her story which involved their stay in Imardin, she chose not to reveal Cery's involvement, or that of Senfel nor any of the other people who helped them. Balkan's questions became more demanding in this regard, but to all of them, she gave the same answer,

"Akkarin arranged everything. I simply went where he said to go. I do not know who he met. I do not know who helped him."

"I find that very hard to believe," Balkan said. "You are a resourceful woman, you always have been, I'm sure you know everything."

"You will have to take my word for it," she replied tartly, "As you cannot read my mind without becoming privy to the knowledge of black magic."

He stared at her in frustration, knowing that what she said was perfectly correct. After a moment, he looked down at his papers and made a play of searching through them for something. Then he indicated she should go on with her tale.

She finally reached the end of her story with an account of the fighting in the city. She couldn't bring herself to talk of Akkarin, so she concentrated on her own actions, describing her attacks on individual Ichani and finally describing how she was brought down by an Ichani strike which left her unconscious.

"We will consider what you have said," Balkan said formally, "Wait outside."

He must have made some gesture because the Warrior who had been standing near the door throughout came over to her ready to escort her out of the room. She rose and followed him out into the corridor. He made her stand some way away from the door so she was unable to hear what was being said. She stared at him until he looked away, then she stared at the floor, hoping that the deliberations wouldn't last long.

However she stood outside for almost an hour, before she was summoned. As before, she was told to sit in the solitary chair in front of the table. Balkan examined some notes he'd made before looking up at her.

"We have considered your story carefully and there are still many things which you have not satisfactorily explained. Until you do so, you will remain here, under the same conditions. You are advised to follow orders at all times and behave in a fully cooperative manner."

Sonea felt a growing anger at the way she was being treated. They had returned to help the Guild and it was obvious now that Akkarin had told the truth about the Ichani threat and what he had to do to keep Kyralia safe. Why were they so determined to overlook these facts? Why did they persist in treating her like an enemy? She stood up and leaned over the table, noticing with some amusement how the others automatically drew back.

"We both heard the messages you sent, dozens of them asking us to respond. You know our reasons for choosing not to reply. However, there was one in particular which was sent by Lorlen. He told us the King had ordered us to return. If that is the case, what right have you got to keep me locked up here. I have permission to be in Kyralia. You must let me go."

"It's true Lord Lorlen sent that message," Balkan couldn't resist emphasising the title, "And we had reasons for asking him to do so at the time, however, you both chose not to respond to that message either and the King rescinded his order."

"I do not believe you!" Sonea said harshly, "You have no right to keep me here."

"You will not speak to me like that, I am the High Lord and you will do what I say." Balkan's voice was equally harsh and two bright spots of colour in his cheeks gave proof of his anger.

"But I am not a Guild magician as you have been at pains to tell me often enough. Therefore you are not my High Lord and I don't have to obey you."

Balkan smiled and it wasn't a pleasant one, "No, but you are a black magician outside the control and protection of the Guild. You were sent away from the Allied Lands so you were free to pursue your magic in lands where the Guild does not hold sway. However, you chose to return and in Kyralia the Guild has a duty to control rogue magicians so they are not a danger to the Allied Lands. You will remain confined until your fate is finally decided. Take her back!"

Once more she found herself in a procession back to her prison. This time, Vinara was the Healer leading the way. The three of them moved silently through the silent building until the procession stopped outside her door. Vinara unlocked it and ushered her inside. The door closed behind her and she heard the familiar click of the lock.

The room was exactly as she'd left it. All that had really changed since her arrival was that she had some clothing, everything else remained exactly as it was. She lay down on the bed as the careful wall she had constructed to keep her thoughts at bay crumbled and she felt the hot tears run down her face. _Akkarin is gone. Akkarin is dead. _Balkan's cold words echoed in her mind. The pain was almost too much to bear. To have discovered a perfect lover and lost him all within the space of a few days was so very hard and she wasn't sure she could cope.

She thought back over the special times she'd shared with Akkarin, trying to remember every word they'd exchanged, trying to remember the differing expressions on his face, and all the while her tears fell, soaking the pillow beneath her. She could see his face clearly in her mind, not the cold distant High Lord's face she had been so familiar with, but the warm, open face he wore during lovemaking, when his dark eyes looked into hers and his elegant fingers played breathtaking music on her skin, creating the fire which spread in her veins. She refused to believe all of that was gone.

"He is not dead! He can't be dead!" She spoke the words out loud, as if that would make them true.

_And if he isn't dead, I have to find him! _That would be her goal and everything she did from now on would be towards that end.

She rolled on to her back, wiping at her eyes with her hands. There was no time to indulge in weeping. She didn't want whoever delivered her next meal to tell everyone she was a weak and feeble woman who spent her time shedding tears. There was a little water left in her jug. She tore a strip from the sleeping garment and soaked it in the water. She lay down again and covered her face with the cool material. She longed for her magic, two seconds and all signs of her tears would have been removed.

There was no mirror in the room, so Sonea could only hope she had done enough to reduce the effect of tears on her face. She sat up and glanced at the window, to see if she could work out the time. It felt as if food was due soon and she must appear to be very cooperative. Perhaps she could lull them into thinking she had decided to obey.

The meal, when it arrived, was different. This time, it was a meat and gravy pie, with some green vegetables. She was fed again by a Healer, so they didn't trust her to behave yet. It didn't taste the same, being fed spoonful by spoonful, but she made the best of it. Another jug of water was left and she regarded it suspiciously. Was that where the drug was? She wondered if she resisted the temptation to drink her power would start to come back. She resolved to try it and see.

It was starting to get dark. Another day gone and still she was a prisoner. But with the dark, came doubts. Just as earlier, she had convinced herself that Akkarin was alive, so now she began to think he wasn't. She remembered her last sight of him lying in the dirt, a dagger deep in his chest, his breath loud and uneven, his face white and full of pain. Had he even enough power to Heal himself just enough to keep himself alive? If the Guild had delayed opening the gates, then it would have been too late to do anything to save him.

They must have buried him somewhere, that's why she couldn't see his body. _But Balkan said Akkarin was gone_, she thought suddenly. _That means there was no body, surely_. _Did Akkarin have enough magic left to have destroyed his body at death? Balkan __obviously thinks so, but I was there and could see how his power was draining away trying to maintain his shield. And his shield failed, so he had little power left._

She began to believe once more that Akkarin was not dead, that his body was gone, not because his magic destroyed it, but because someone had rescued him.

_Takan!_

She remembered the last words Takan had said to her - _I shall wait in case Akkarin or you need strength –_ yes, that must be it! Takan had been close and had seen what was happening. His first loyalty was always to Akkarin, so if he saw a chance of saving him, he would take it, even if it meant leaving her behind.

She was pleased with this train of thought. It meant that there was hope Akkarin survived. Now all she had to do was to get out of here and find him. She looked around the room again, hoping against hope that there would be something to give her an idea. The only thing she had come up with was somehow to overpower whoever brought her meal before he or she had time to reset the lock. Without her magic, there was no way she could release it once it was in place. If only she had a weapon, but there didn't seem to be anything she could use.

She examined the three pieces of furniture. The table was solid, with the legs firmly fixed to the top. Without a knife or something similar, she couldn't separate a leg. The same applied to the chair, its legs were firmly nailed in place and no matter how she tried, she couldn't move any of them. That left only the bed. Luckily, apart from the meal visits, no one came to check on her. She had had her last meal for today, so she had some time to work on something undisturbed.

She crawled under the bed. It was a typical basic Guild bed, the sort she'd been used to in the Novices' Quarters. It consisted of a wooden frame with a leg at each corner and wooden planks nailed across it to form a base for the mattress. Getting up again, she tossed the mattress on to the floor and looked carefully at the frame. The planks were nailed, not screwed, so it might be possible to get one loose. She carefully checked each one. To her delight, she found one which was a bit worn, with several cracks radiating out from one of the nails. She put her hands around it and tried to move it, but nothing happened at first, but as she continued to work at it, she felt it move a little. Eventually, she felt it give and one end of the plank was free. She continued to work on the other end, it was much easier now as she could move the plank properly. A few minutes later, she had freed it and now had a weapon.

She carefully replaced the mattress and bed linen and hid the plank under the bed. Now all she had to do was decide when she was going to make her escape. There was roughly four hours between her breakfast and her mid-day meal. If she could immobilise whoever came with breakfast, she had a reasonable amount of time before she was missed.

_You fool,_ she suddenly thought, _When the Healer doesn't return with the dirty dishes, they will come to check._ That meant she had about half an hour at the most before her escape from the room became known. But getting out of the room was only a first step in a long process. She needed to get out of the building and that was more difficult.

She got ready for bed, hanging her clothes over the chair back and putting on the scratchy sleeping garment. She would use her time before sleep took her to try to remember everything she could about the route she was taken earlier. Then she would wake early and prepare for the delivery of her breakfast meal.


	25. Escape

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Escape**

Sleep proved elusive. Sonea found herself tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable in the bed. Her mind remained very active, making sleep even more unlikely. She had a lot to worry about. The more she thought about her meeting with Balkan, the more concerned she became about his reasons for the questions he asked. He had told her nothing of events from the Guild's point of view. In fact, he had answered none of her questions, apart from telling her about Akkarin. He had remained silent, too, about the fate of the Ichani.

But leaving all that aside, her real problem was getting out of the building. She couldn't quite remember if all the doors she'd passed through on her way to the meeting with Balkan had been locked. She thought not, but if she later found any of them were, she was really stuck.

Perhaps there were windows she might open and climb out. She had been good at climbing as a child; it was a useful skill for a dwell who liked exploring. Of course she hadn't practised for many years and could only hope that once learned it was a skill which remained forever. However, without magic, it would be her dwell skills that she would have to rely on.

Once she got out of the building, and out of the Guild grounds, her plan was to go to Cery. He had plenty of resources and would be able to take her in immediately and hide her from the Guild. After a few days, the drug should have left her system and once her magic returned, there was a lot she could do for herself.

She had resisted drinking any of the water, but despite that, she still could not use her magic. Perhaps the Guild did not like taking chances and had put it in everything she had eaten or drunk since she'd been taken back. She had no idea how long it would take to get it out of her system, but hoped it would only be a day or so. She felt lost without her magic and it was a surprise to learn just how much she relied upon it, not necessarily using it, but knowing it was there, ready to get her out of trouble if need be. Now that was gone and she felt almost hollow inside.

Eventually she did manage to fall asleep, but there was no sense of rest. Her dreams were full of vague swirling images accompanied by deep feelings of fear and danger and she was covered in sweat when she woke. The night sky was beginning to lighten so it must have been around dawn, plenty of time to prepare for her first visitor.

She dressed herself quickly, thankful that her interrogation by Balkan had meant they had to bring her clothes. If she still only had the sleeping garment, it would have made her task much more difficult. She ignored the jacket, though. It was tight under her arms and made her very uncomfortable. She needed a fair degree of freedom of movement, especially as she would have to wield the plank sufficiently hard to knock out the Healer.

Eventually she heard footsteps approaching her door. She moved silently to stand in position. The footsteps stopped and she heard the clattering of dishes as whoever it was adjusted the tray. The lock disengaged and the door opened. Sonea raised the plank and brought it down hard on the head of the person who entered the room. The tray fell to the floor with a loud crash, closely followed by the Healer's body.

Sonea dragged her fully into the room and shut the door. She checked to see if the Healer was unconscious. She had nothing to tie her with and in any case, she would simply alert others using mental communication, tied or not. Sonea quickly checked to see if there was anything useful in the Healer's pockets, but there was nothing she could use. She briefly toyed with the idea of exchanging clothes, but decided against it. Her lack of magic would be a severe handicap if she were dressed as a magician, as she would be unable to respond to any mental communication or perform magic if required.

The Healer appeared to be sleeping peacefully, so Sonea decided to leave her where she lay. She looked into the corridor and found it was empty. Luckily no one seemed to have heard the crash. She shut the door and wedged it shut with a pit of plank. She moved quickly down the corridor, but to her dismay, the door at the end was locked. She looked around wildly. _Where to go now? _She began trying doors, many were locked and two of the ones that weren't, opened into completely empty rooms. She was beginning to think that all was lost, when she opened a door into some sort of storeroom.

She went inside and shut the door. There were large boxes and chests piled along one wall and various pieces of equipment along another. There were buckets and mops, brooms and cleaning materials of all kinds. _It's a servants' room_, she thought. An idea came to her and she began opening boxes and chests. Surely there would be some servants' clothing in here. Just as she was beginning to think there was not, she found a box containing skirts and aprons, which looked as if they had been taken in for mending.

She wasted no time in swapping her skirt and taking an apron. Luckily, her shirt resembled the type worn by servants, and she hoped it would pass a brief inspection. She had no cap, but by tearing part of another apron, she was able to make a headscarf which was often worn by servants doing dusty work. She was tempted to take a bucket and mop as well, but common sense told her they would be an encumbrance if she needed to climb.

She was about to open the door again when she heard some sort of commotion outside. It looked as if the Healer had woken up and called for help. The corridor would soon be full of magicians looking for her and she couldn't stay here. There was nowhere to hide and they would soon discover her. She ran over to the window and looked out. She was on the top story of the building and it was a long way down. Her twelve year old self would have taken a swift look and then started to climb down immediately. Her twenty year old self was more cautious. She quietly slid the window open and put her head out. There was some sort of drainage pipe an arm's breadth from the window. She didn't like the look of it, but there was no other option. She would have to climb down it.

There was a tree growing at the base of the building, it only reached about half way up the pipe, but if she could manage to get down as far as the tree, then she could swing across and go the rest of the way with a little more security. She hesitated, butterflies in her stomach. _I really don't want to do this_, she thought. But she knew there was no other choice. The noise in the corridor was getting louder and she could hear doors being opened and closed. It wouldn't be long before they came to the storeroom.

She sat on the window ledge and swung her legs out, trying not to look down. She reached out for the pipe. It was just out of reach. She pushed up against the window frame and stretched as far as she could. For a moment, her hand was grasping at empty air, then her fingertips touched the pipe. Her heart was pounding against her ribs and her throat was dry. _You will fall!_ her mind whispered. _It's years since you climbed like this, you'll fall!_

She ruthlessly pushed the unwelcome thought away and grasped at the pipe until her hand had a reasonably firm grip. She lowered herself down from the window ledge and stretched her leg out towards the pipe. For a moment, she felt her foot waggle in thin air, then it hit the pipe. It was now or never. She let go the safety of the window ledge and clung to the pipe with both hands and both feet. She wished she'd been able to shut the window, but it would have been impossible. The minute anyone entered the room and saw the open window, they would know what she'd done.

_Then you'd better get on with it! _her mind said rather sarcastically.

She remembered the technique, grip with the feet and hands, loosen the feet, then the hands, slip down a body length, then grip with the feet and hands. After than it was simply a question of repeating the exercise. She started down, extremely nervously at first, then she began to grow in confidence until, on her third 'slide' her feet couldn't find their grip and she continued to slide down the pipe at an increasing speed. She scrabbled frantically for grip, but her feet simply couldn't find it. She could already see herself falling to the ground. Then, suddenly, her feet gripped the pipe and stopped her downward movement. She clung to the pipe for a moment, trying to calm the beating of her heart. Then she started down again. She had no time to waste, any minute now, someone could look out the window and see her. Then it would all be over.

The tree came nearer and she was eager to reach it. It would provide cover, if anyone looked down and she couldn't wait to get off the pipe. Just a few more minutes, she kept telling herself, just a few more minutes. At last, she reached the tree. There was a gap between the pipe and the tree, she wouldn't just be able to reach across, she would have to jump. She didn't stop to think, she jumped, both arms outstretched to grab a branch. She timed it well and grabbed the branch as soon as she could. She swung into the tree and sat, with her legs dangling each side of the branch. She could no longer see the window above, but she heard someone call out and knew that her escape route had been discovered.

She hurried down the tree as quickly as she could, ignoring the scratches and scrapes she collected on the way. She dropped to the ground from the lowest branch and took a quick look around. She didn't recognise where she was. There were no other buildings she could see, just more trees. She ran as fast as she could for the area where there were most trees. She flung herself into the undergrowth and, finding a hollow in the ground, lay in it, pulling a few branches and tendrils from the bushes around her. She could hear more shouting and then the sound of people running. She kept still, hardly daring to breathe.

She stayed hidden for some time, partly to get her breath back and generally calm herself after the hair-raising climb, but also until the sounds of searching had faded. No one had come near to where she was lying, and she thought that was because it was still quite close to where she had come down. They would have expected her to perhaps be farther away.

The first stage of her plan had been completely successful. In fact, she had some difficulty in understanding just how straightforward it had been, thanks to her dwell skills in climbing of course. Now she had to think about stage two of her plan, how to get out of the Guild grounds. She needed to find somewhere she recognised, so she could get her bearings, then she would know how to get out. She remembered the times she and Cery had invaded the Guild grounds for a bit of fun, when they were younger. There were always ways and means of getting in and out unseen.

She cautiously raised her head and carefully listened for any other people nearby, but there was nothing she could hear. She stood up and brushed the dirt from her servant's skirt and adjusted the apron. There were usually lots of servants going about their business all over the Guild, so if she were seen, people probably wouldn't take must notice. Now she was on the ground, she regretted not having the bucket, but she would never have been able to climb carrying one.

She moved through the trees, searching for a path or track, but there was none. She looked up at the sun, but she had never been very good at telling directions from the sun. She simply decided to carry on in a straight line and see where she came to. She walked for some time before she noticed the trees were thinning out a bit. It started to look a bit familiar and by the time she reached the tumbled down building, she was sure where she was. She was near to the old nursery where the Guild gardeners raised plants for the various gardens dotted around the grounds. It was disused now, as the Guild had build a much larger new nursery some way away, so it would be a useful place to stay for a short time while she worked on the next stage of her escape. She pushed open the door and went inside. There wasn't much there and for a moment, she remembered her recent journey with Akkarin, and the strange locations they had stayed in and how adept she had become in making up beds from leaves and grasses. She missed him, and it re-enforced her decision to look for him in the city. _He is still alive_, she said to herself, _And I will find him._


	26. Breaking Out

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world – it belongs to Trudi Canavan

**Breaking Out**

It was damp and musty in the old shed, but Sonea wasn't concerned with her surroundings. She was listening for sounds of pursuit and so far, she had heard very little, just some distant shouts. It seemed the Guild was still imposing a mental communication ban and that meant they were still concerned that there were Ichani still in the area. She judged it to be about mid-morning, a time when servants would not be wandering around, but at their work, so it would not be a good idea for her to move around the grounds. The best time would be near to the mid-day meal break. There would be a lot of people walking to and from the food hall, or back to their quarters so the chance of her being spotted was lessened.

She would have to wait here. She searched around until she found an old box, which she used as a seat. She sat down and began thinking of the best route towards the place she had decided to use to get out of the grounds. Although she couldn't say that this part of the grounds was one of her regular haunts, she was generally familiar with it, both from her time as a novice and from before. She thanked the Eye that Cery had shown her several of his secret ways into the Guild grounds. Who would have thought the pranks of childhood would be so useful in later life?

One bit of good news was she had noticed only a small number of people appeared to be out looking for her. There couldn't have been more than five or six who searched outside the building, close to the area under the open window and perhaps one or two more inside the building. That meant her presence in the Guild was probably known to only a handful of magicians. That was very useful information because she would stand a better chance of getting out if few people actually knew she was back.

Time passed slowly, but she was getting used to that. Patience had never been one of her best virtues, but it was something she had had to learn the hard way. Yikmo's mental exercises were useful for passing the time, as well as calming the mind. She wished she had paid more attention when he taught her because she could only remember a few.

She was still practising them when she heard the faint sound of a bell in the distance. It was the signal for mid-day. She stood up and bushed down her skirt, tidied her apron and adjusted her headscarf. She wished she had something to carry. A servant with nothing in her hands might strike some people as odd. She looked around the shed in case there was something she could use. In a corner, she found an old battered bucket which had certainly seen better days. She picked it up. It needed cleaning, but there was nothing suitable, so she settled for turning it upside down and banging it hard, sending a shower of dust, leaves and insects tumbling to the ground.

Clutching the handle of the bucket, she went outside and taking a familiar path, soon found herself among a crowd of people hurrying to get their meals. There were plenty of servants amongst them, so she didn't feel too conspicuous. She noticed a few Warriors standing around scanning the crowd so ensured she kept her head down. She walked close to a chattering group of servants, trying to give the impression she was part of them. Luckily, they were too busy with their own affairs to pay any attention to her. She blended in with them as long as possible until she had to turn off towards the stables. If she remembered correctly, some way beyond the stables there was another path which led to a point where there was a way over the boundary wall and this would lead her into the South Quarter.

She hadn't been paying much attention to her surroundings, so she was rather surprised when someone shouted loudly. "Hey, you!" the voice called, "Yes, you!" it said as she turned and looked over her shoulder, "I need your help."

Standing in the middle of an open patch of ground was a very young novice. She kept looking down at her feet and then over towards Sonea. When Sonea hesitated, the novice called out angrily, "I said I need your help! Come here at once."

Silently cursing her luck at being in the wrong place at the wrong time, Sonea walked slowly over towards her. She didn't immediately recognise the girl and hoped that the same would be true for her. As she got nearer, Sonea could see that the girl had dropped her box and all her papers, books, pens and ink had fallen out and were scattered around in a very muddy area. She kept her head down and when she reached the novice, Sonea made a quick servant's bob.

"What do you want my lady?" she asked keeping her voice low and humble.

"I want you to pick up my things carefully and give them to me a few at a time so I can pack them in my box properly." The girl's voice was full of command and there was a sharpness to it Sonea immediately disliked.

"Yes, my lady," she responded and dropped to her knees in a damp patch of grass to begin collecting the pages.

The girl did nothing to help her, being content to watch Sonea and wait to be handed the papers as they were picked up. Sonea got as much of the mud and dirt off as she could before giving them to the novice. She took them from Sonea's hand without acknowledgement and began to repack her box. Sonea was relieved to note that the girl barely looked at her, she was just a servant after all.

"There you are, my lady," Sonea said as she passed over the last of the items.

"Thank you," the novice said at last acknowledging the help she'd received, "What's your name?"

"Err…Syma," Sonea said, hurriedly feminising her assumed alias, and giving another quick bob.

"You can go now, Syma," the novice turned away and began walking in the opposite direction to Sonea, who watched her go with some relief. It was lucky that the girl was a first year who was unlikely to have mixed with older novices_. Not that she took any interest in my appearance beyond noting the servant's uniform,_ Sonea thought with some amusement, _I was just a convenient person to do the difficult work of scrabbling around on the ground collecting her things._.

As she neared the stables, the area became more crowded. She just kept her head down and clutching her bucket tried to give the impression of a servant with a purpose. She noticed one or two familiar faces among the crowd and made sure she didn't look at them directly. There were a couple of Warriors standing near the stable entrance, checking everyone who came in or out.

She walked past the stables with a purposeful stride, reinforcing the impression that she had something specific to do. Once she left the stables behind, she found the way quiet with only one or two people using it. The section of the boundary wall she was aiming for was about twenty minutes walk away. She was conscious of feeling rather hungry. She had eaten and drunk nothing since the previous evening. She periodically tried her magic, but the drug was still in her system and there was not even the slightest hint that its effect was weakening. _How long? _she wondered.

When she reached the wall, she took a look round. If she remembered correctly, the spot she needed was just a few minutes further along. She started out, but then heard someone coming. She dodged behind a nearby bush just in time as a Warrior came into sight walking along the route of the wall. Hoping he just happened to be on his way to somewhere else, she waited and watched. To her dismay, the Warrior walked past where she was hiding, continued for about another five or so minutes, then turned and walked back again. He was monitoring the boundary.

There must have been more Warriors involved than she had realised, if they were patrolling the entire Guild boundary_. Just my luck!_ she thought. _Why did he have to be here of all places? _She continued to watch and found the Warrior disappeared from her view as he followed the curve of the wall for about ten minutes, before reappearing. _Could I find the exact spot and get over the wall before he comes back?_ she asked herself. It would be tight, she knew. When she'd come with Cery, there had been no one around and it had still taken them a few minutes to break in. _Well, you have an incentive to do it quickly now,_ she thought ruefully.

She continued to watch the Warrior, counting in her head to check his times. He was quite regular in his pacing because there was only a very small variation in his timings.

She decided to creep along in the undergrowth until she found the right spot, then she would just have to make a dash for it and hope her adult self was as quick if not quicker than her younger self. The place she was looking for was marked by a small pile of stones. They had been arranged as if they had simply fallen from the wall over the years, but Cery had told her they had been placed as a marker. Every time he came over, he had left another stone. She hoped it would still be there, but as Cery had told her he still broke into the Guild, she felt sure it would be.

It didn't take her long to find it. The pile had tumbled a little and now was scattered slightly more widely, but it was the right place. The Warrior was still making his patrol in the same time span. She waited for several passes, to ensure he had not changed his rhythm. She used the opportunity to study the wall. She could just make out the toeholds she'd used before. The wall was about the same height as two tall people, one standing on the shoulders of the other. She remembered her first attempt at climbing it and how nervous she had been at breaking in to such a forbidden place.

She realised she was still holding the battered bucket and pushed it into the undergrowth, it had served its purpose. _The next time….. _she decided. She waited until the Warrior disappeared around the curve, then made a dash for the wall. There was a few seconds of panic when she realised she couldn't find the first toehold, then she saw it and began her scramble for the top, all the while counting in her head. Half her time was gone almost before she realised it and certainly before she got to the top. Some of the stones were loose and moved as she grabbed them. She closed her mind to the possibility of failure and pushed for the top. As she reached it, she could hear the Warrior coming closer. Flinging her leg over the wall, she pushed her body over after it, until she was hanging by her fingers over the other side. Her feet scrabbled frantically for a toehold. _There! _She found the first, and then the next and the next until almost sobbing in relief, she found herself near the ground.

She looked around. She was in a street of little shops and several houses. There were few people about, and those that were seemed not to notice her. Her only interested audience was a small group of grubby little children who were open-mouthed at the sight. She smiled at them and held a finger to her lips, winking cheerfully. The children, delighted to be part of the game, held their fingers to their mouths and winked back. She hurriedly removed the headscarf and apron, bundling them up into a small parcel. It wouldn't do to leave them here. She tucked it under her arm and set off.

She needed to get close to the market. That was near to Cery's stamping ground and she would stand a better chance of finding someone who knew him around there. It was a long walk and her hunger grew with each passing minute. The lack of food was making her feel tired too. It was almost an hour's walk to where she needed to go at her current rate of progress. She really did need some food. She passed a few stalls selling food, but without any money there was little she could do. _I could steal some_, she thought. _I've done it before. _

Her years in the Guild must have affected her more than she knew, because she immediately thought how terrible that would be, to steal from traders who were only trying to make a living. She smiled to herself, _Well, if I die of hunger, at least I shall die an honest woman!_

When she got to the market, she looked around to see if she could spot a likely person who could get a message to Cery. The market was crowded as usual but as she looked, she began to recognise the telltale signs of Thieves and their associates. She identified a likely messenger, a thin boy about twelve or thirteen. She went over to him and tapped him lightly on the shoulder. As he turned, ready to run at the first sign of trouble, she gave the Thieves' recognition sign and he visibly relaxed.

"What do you want?" he asked warily.

"Take a message to Cery," she said, "Tell him Verin and Sym need his help. Do you understand?"

When the boy nodded, she added, "Cery will reward you. Tell him to come here quickly."

The boy ran off and Sonea sat down wearily on a nearby bench. She hoped she wouldn't have long to wait.


	27. Safe

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**Safe**

Sonea sat on a bench feeling very conspicuous. The boy had been gone for some time and already stallholders were watching her with a wary eye. A stranger was always the subject of close scrutiny in this part of town. Since the recent fighting, strangers were even more subject to observation. She had overheard snatches of conversation about what had happened. '…Magicians' affair….' had been the most usual comment. The less dwells had to do with magicians, the better seemed to be the general view. She kept her head down and tried not to catch anyone's eye. If Cery didn't send someone soon, she would have to risk moving. Smells from nearby food stalls reminded her just how long it had been since she had eaten. Her stomach growled suddenly and she shifted position again. Where was her guide?

Then she heard her name and, turning, was grabbed by Cery who hugged her, oblivious of nearby watchers.

"Sym," he shouted, forgetting she was wearing a skirt, "Where have you been?"

"Thank goodness you've come," she said softly, hoping Cery would take the hint and lower his voice, "I was beginning to think my messenger had forgotten to deliver my plea."

"Where's Verin?" he asked, looking round, his voice a lot quieter.

Sonea's face fell. She had hoped against hope that Cery would know where Akkarin was and hearing him ask reignited all her worries about what had really happened to him.

"Not here," she said sharply, gesturing towards the busy market.

Cery glanced around and noticed a few interested listeners. "Come along," he said, "I'll take you home."

She followed him on the now familiar twisting route through the back streets until they reached a shabby looking building. She was no longer surprised, when the interior was nothing like the rough looking exterior. The house was comfortable and the room Cery showed her into was richly furnished in the best quality. She sank thankfully into a chair and sighed.

"Is there any food, Cery? I haven't eaten for a long time."

Cery produced a plate of cakes from a side table and poured her a glass of bol. She would have preferred raka or tea, but swallowed some gratefully. She took a cake and devoured it in a few seconds. Cery offered another and then another. Sonea wasn't fond of cakes either, but it was surprising what hunger made you do. Before long, the plate was empty.

"I'll send out for something else," Cery said with a smile. "Anything you fancy?"

"A meat pie, perhaps. I've been dreaming of one for a while. Any chance of some raka?"

Before long, Sonea was eating her way through a delicious meat pie, smothered in gravy and served with beans. She hadn't tasted anything quite like it for weeks. Cery had also found some raka, and although it was a little cooler than she liked, Sonea drank it down gratefully. The kick from the drink was just what she needed.

After the meal, she tried a little magic, but her magic source was still blocked. It had been some time now since she had taken the drugged food, but she had no real idea how long it would take before she was back to normal. For the moment she didn't want to reveal her problem to Cery. She suspected he would be pleased and hopeful that her powers would never return.

Cery had watched her eat with some amusement. He had found another plate of cakes from somewhere and as she consumed the pie, he kept pace with her and cleared his plate at the same time as she finished her meal.

"Now, Sonea, tell me everything," he said eagerly.

She told her story simply and without any embellishments, only leaving out what Cery would call 'magician's stuff'. It was useful for her, too, to put everything into a proper sequence. Cery let her speak without interruption, although it was obvious he had questions.

"So I don't remember anything after the blast which hit me," she finished, "Only waking up later a prisoner in the Guild. Do you know what happened next?"

Cery pulled a face, "After you got away from my men, they were desperately searching for you. Of course, they didn't see where you'd gone, so they split up to cover the widest area. One of them arrived at the Guild gates just as you fell to the ground. He was going to grab you, but the gates opened and five or six Warriors poured out. They took you instead."

"Did he see what happened to Akkarin?"

"No, he was too busy watching you." Cery's voice took on an aggrieved tone, "Whatever possessed you to distract my men and run off?"

"I had to follow Akkarin and I overheard the cosy plan you two agreed on to keep me away from the battle. Akkarin needed me and I couldn't just let him go off on his own."

"I think Akkarin is quite capable of looking after himself," Cery stated dryly. "You are supposed to do what he said, aren't you? That's what it means, being a novice, isn't it? He was quite clear about what should happen to you."

"Don't you start!" Sonea said in exasperation, "I've had this argument with Akkarin many times. I have to stay with him. I made a promise to look after him, and I will do anything I can to keep it. Anyway, I'm no longer a novice and he's no longer my guardian."

Cery gave her a puzzled glance. It was obvious he had no notion of what she was talking about but she couldn't explain without going into things she'd rather Cery didn't know. She tried to change the subject and asked after Cery's men and whether there had been any casualties. He told her that four had been killed and several injured in the fighting, but on the whole they had been very successful.

Cery said too that the city had settled down to its normal routines almost as soon as the fighting was over, almost as if people had little memory of it. Sonea was at first surprised at this, but soon suspected that the Guild had exercised some sort of magic which caused people's memories of certain events to become faded and fuzzy, rather like a half-remembered dream. She had learned of such things in her Guild history classes, not realising that the Guild still used such tactics in the present day.

There was silence for a while, each of them lost in their own thoughts. Sonea was wondering just how she was going to track down Akkarin, if the Thieves didn't know what had happened to him. Cery seemed distracted and didn't respond when she asked him a question. Then he looked up at her and said, "You escaped from the Guild quite easily, didn't you?"

She frowned, "What do you mean – easily? I had to get out of my room. It was then even more difficult to get out of the building. I was on the top floor and I had to climb down a pipe! Then I had to avoid the patrolling Warriors. I don't think it was easy."

Cery poured himself more bol and offered a mugful to Sonea. She shook her head, preferring to finish the cold raka. He thoughtfully chewed on a cake, then shot Sonea another strange glance, "I mean there you were, in a locked room in an isolated building in the middle of the Guild, with Warriors everywhere and you just happened to get through all that and over the wall and free. Easy."

She opened her mouth to deny Cery's claim, but shut it again. Now she thought about it, it had been relatively easy. There had been only a few people searching around the building and they didn't even come very close to the place where she was.

"Why would the Guild do that? Let me escape?"

"Who knows what that load of bloody sh…err…magicians want," Cery's dislike of magicians had not changed much over the years. "Perhaps they thought you would lead them to someone."

"Akkarin," she breathed. "They don't know where he is!"

Suddenly, she felt a strong urge to dance round the room. The Guild was looking for Akkarin too. They didn't believe he was dead either. _And they think I can lead them to him! _That thought changed her mood to one of deep concern. _Have they followed me?_

Meanwhile Cery was silently cursing himself with all the most colourful words he knew. He hadn't meant to speak his thoughts about her escape out loud and now look what it had led to. He was very concerned about Sonea's obsession with Akkarin. He didn't understand it at all and, as with anything to do with magicians, it worried him.

Sonea watched the play of emotions on his face and read them correctly. She didn't want to provoke another discussion about Akkarin, not when she had a lot of thinking to do. She needed a plan of action and soon. If the Guild were looking for Akkarin too, she had to find him first. If he were taken into the Guild grounds, it would be extremely difficult to find him again. She wasn't sure the luck she'd had breaking out would last if she had to break in.

"Cery," Sonea began, "Could you find out if we were followed here? Perhaps the Guild had people in the street and they followed me to the market and then when you came….."

"I didn't notice anyone," Cery interrupted, somewhat affronted that she thought he wouldn't know if he were followed. He was a Thief of some standing after all! "This place is safe, I guarantee it."

With that, Sonea had to be content. Cery was adamant that no one had even tried to follow them and would brook no argument to the contrary. She yawned suddenly. It seemed forever since she had waited for the Healer to bring her breakfast and she needed a good rest.

Cery took the hint and led her to a small bedchamber. Like the room downstairs, it was comfortably furnished and the bed looked particularly inviting. Left alone, it wasn't long before Sonea was asleep.


	28. Persuasion

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**Persuasion**

Sonea awoke with a start. Unlike during the time she'd spent with Akkarin in the wastelands, she hadn't been dreaming. One minute she had been deeply asleep, the next she was wide-awake. The room was still dark with no hint of the morning sunlight. She tried and failed to form a globelight. _How long does this drug last? _She was beginning to wonder just how powerful it was.

She'd had no idea that Healers possessed a drug, which blocked a magician's access to his or her magic source. She tried to think why they would need such a thing. Then it came to her. Magicians' bodies tended to self-Heal over time and that could lead to problems. She remembered, during one of her Healing lessons, studying the case of a Warrior who had been badly injured in an accident, but had lost consciousness and lain undiscovered for almost two days. During that time, his body had started to Heal itself. Unfortunately, he had been lying in an awkward position and his bones had set crookedly. The Healers had had to break them all and start again. _So I suppose they developed this drug to stop that sort of thing happening, _she thought.

Knowing the reason didn't help her to know when the effects would wear off. She worried it might be days before she could function again. If they had been particularly afraid of her black magician's powers, they might have given her a very strong dose. _Perhaps the magic will never return!_ She stifled that thought; it was too painful to bear thinking about. She tried to find a more positive frame of mind. If the Guild were searching for her in the city, they would not be able to trace her by her use of magic!

She tried to think of her next steps. Somehow she had to find Akkarin. The mere thought of his name conjured up a sharp pang of longing deep within her. She wanted to feel his body next to hers, his arms around her and to hear his voice whisper her name. Pictures of their time together flashed into her head and she found herself watching them, taking comfort from her memories.

She fervently wished they were still in exile, still together. Despite the hardships, the uncertainties and the early confusion of her feelings for Akkarin, when she really thought about it, on the whole she had been happy. She felt they could have made a life together, as exiles. She laughed softly to herself at the irony of it, as she considered that thought. Ever since she had discovered what Akkarin was actually doing with his black magic, she had been eager to defend the Guild and, by extension, the country. She wanted, with all her heart, to destroy the Ichani invaders and keep everything safe. Every action she had taken since that discovery had been towards one end, a definitive battle to wipe out the enemy.

Now she had had her wish. They had come to Imardin and done their best to defend the Guild, yet somehow, it had all gone wrong. She had been captured and her magic disabled, and Akkarin was – who knew where? Was he dead as the Guild maintained or still alive somewhere? Was he injured or had he recovered? And, most of all, what had happened to Kariko and his companion? Had they left the city, only to return to fight another day, or, worse still, were they in hiding, just like she was, ready to make another attempt to destroy the Guild?

_So many questions and so few answers_, she thought. _Yet I have to start somewhere._

She looked impatiently at the window, but it was still dark, although the faint glimmerings of light were beginning to show. She had no means of telling the hour but hunger pangs made her think it might be nearly time for breakfast. She dressed quickly and let herself out of the room. She assumed there must be a kitchen somewhere downstairs, perhaps with a cheery cook.

When she found it, it was empty except for the huge bodyguard Cery now employed, who was lounging by the fireplace, smoking a pipe, his stocking clad feet propped up against the fireguard. He smiled a welcome and pointed over to where a raka pot sat near the fire.

"Take a cup of raka, Miss, there's plenty. There's bread and some sort of jam too," he said.

She thanked him and gathered together a more than satisfactory breakfast. The raka was scalding hot, just how she liked it and the bread was still warm. She ate several slices, liberally covered with a delicious red berry jam.

"Thank you..err..?"

"Gol, Miss," the giant responded, showing his uneven broken teeth as he grinned at her.

"I'm Sonea," she said, "Although it sometimes suits me to be called Sym"

Gol winked, "There's many what have different names at different times, Miss."

"Is Cery up?" she asked.

"He's not here, Miss," the giant responded.

She frowned, surely where the bodyguard was, one should expect the employer. Gol noticed her confusion and hurried to explain. "Cery told me to stay here to look after you. He went off last night to see some friends. He'll come by this morning."

"Does Cery often go off on his own?" she asked.

Gol winked again, "He has many friends, many lady friends that is, and it isn't always convenient to have company."

Sonea felt her colour rise, somehow it hadn't occurred to her that Cery might have lovers. Gol mistook her flushed face for something else and leaned forward anxiously, "They're not important, Miss. He likes you best. He's taken a lot of trouble to find you a good place to stay."

"Oh, it's all right, Gol. Cery and I are just friends, not anything else." She hastened to reassure him.

Gol gave her a disbelieving glance, but said nothing more. Sonea poured herself more raka and concentrated on her breakfast. She had almost finished, when she heard a door slam and then Cery breezed into the kitchen.

"Ah, good, you're up," he said cheerfully. "I have some news, but you aren't going to like it."

Sonea's heart skipped a beat, "What's happened?" she asked.

"Lots of magicians on the streets, most of them Warriors," Cery replied shortly. "They're putting up notices all over the city and reading them out for those who can't read. Here," he said, reaching into a pocket, "I got one for you."

Sonea took the folded piece of paper from Cery and smoothed it out. It took a moment for two for her brain to take it in.

'Be it known that the former Guild magician, Akkarin of Family Delvon, House Valen has been killed fighting with the rogue magicians who tried to capture the Guild. Thanks to the valiant efforts of the Guild's Warriors, the attack was unsuccessful.

The former Guild novice, Sonea, was also involved in the fighting. Her whereabouts are currently unknown, but she is believed to still be in the city. Sonea is a small woman around twenty years of age, with short dark curly hair and dark eyes. She is dangerous and should not be approached.

Anyone who sees Sonea should inform the Guild as soon as possible.'

The notice had the official incal of the Guild affixed to the bottom right hand corner and had been signed by High Lord Balkan.

Sonea read it again; there was something about it which disturbed her greatly. The second time she looked at it, the words sank in, '…fighting with the rogue magicians….' The implication was clear and direct.

"Those bastards!" she exclaimed hotly, adding a few more strong expletives, "How dare they imply Akkarin was attacking the Guild when they know damned well he was defending it."

"I said you wouldn't like it." Cery muttered.

Her anger was so strong, she could hardly spit her words out.

"And they are taking the credit for our work in killing the Ichani," she raged, "As if the Warriors could defeat them! The trouble is people will believe them. They are magicians, after all!"

"Here, drink this." Cery held out a mug of bol and although it was only just past breakfast time, Sonea took a large gulp. She coughed and spluttered as it went down, but she felt surprisingly better as its warmth spread through her, taking away the cold feeling in the pit of her stomach the Guild's words had left.

Once she had calmed down, Cery asked her what she was going to do.

"I need to find Takan," she said. "He will know where Akkarin is. He will take me to him. Will you help me, Cery?"

Cery must have made some sort of sign, because Gol disappeared from the kitchen, leaving the two of them alone. He shifted in his seat and Sonea could tell from his demeanour that he had something uncomfortable to say.

"Look, Sonea," he began, "It seems pretty clear to me that Akkarin is dead. There's no sign of him and the Guild seem very certain. They told you he was dead and now they've made an official announcement. You have to stop imagining he's hidden somewhere."

"No," he said as she started to speak, "You have to be grown up about this. You told me he had a knife in his chest and his magic was almost gone. The only person who could have helped him was you and you were unconscious. Who do you think could have saved him?"

"Takan," she whispered, "If he was there, he would have saved him."

"If, Sonea - if he was there." Cery's voice was sympathetic, but firm, "This Takan, is he a magician?"

She shook her head, she knew that Cery already knew the answer.

"So how could he save Akkarin?"

"I can't explain it to you, Cery, you'll just have to believe me. If Takan was nearby, he would have rescued Akkarin and taken him somewhere safe. I have to find him."

She heard him give a huge sigh and glanced over at him. He was looking at her in frustration. He wasn't going to let this go and Sonea had to think carefully about how much she could tell him.

Surprisingly, Cery laughed briefly, "I recognise that look," he said with a grin, "That's the look you get when you are determined to get your own way. It's your pig-headed look - the one which says 'I am right and the rest of the world is wrong!'"

She grinned in return, "You know me too well, Cery." Her grin faded quickly as she tried to persuade him.

"Just accept that I don't believe Akkarin is dead. Can you help me find him?"

"Yes, I could, but….." Cery's voice faded away. He obviously didn't want to refuse outright, but he wasn't too keen on the idea.

"You tracked people for Akkarin, didn't you? Well, I'm asking you to do the same thing for me. Akkarin paid you and I am willing to do the same, if that's what it takes. You'll just have to wait until I have money, but I will pay you."

"It's not about money," Cery sounded hurt.

"Then what is it?" Sonea asked sharply. "You've done your best to try to persuade me to give up ever since I escaped from the Guild."

Cery glanced at her and wondered, not for the first time, if she had really heard what the jeering crowds had shouted when she and Akkarin had been paraded around the city. It was not complementary and had nothing to do with magic, forbidden or otherwise. He had never liked magicians and although he'd had a good working relationship with Akkarin, he didn't really like him much as a man. Cery thought him too cold and detached, but now he wondered if Sonea had seen another side to the former High Lord.

"There's a lot you're not telling me," Cery said at last, "I want the truth, Sonea. Tell me the truth and I'll consider helping you?"

She stared at him, wondering what to say. She remembered something Akkarin had said to her, that in the eyes of the world she would always be considered his creature. Perhaps that was what she needed to tell the young Thief. After all, it wasn't that different to the system used among the Thieves themselves.

"Cery, I am bound to Akkarin through the things we have had to do in the last few years, rather like your people are bound to you. If you like, I am his creature, I do his bidding, the way he taught me. I have to find him. I made a solemn promise and it's my duty to find him."

She fell silent, conscious that Cery was staring at her. She could see disbelief struggling with his own desire to believe her in his face. Afterwards, she wondered why it was so important to keep the fact that she loved Akkarin from him. Perhaps it was the inevitably of what Cery would ask next. If she said she loved Akkarin, Cery would ask '…and does he love you…?' and Sonea didn't know the answer to that question. He was still silent, just looking directly at her as if he would read her inner thoughts. She wished he would say something, anything; his silent scrutiny was almost unbearable.

Cery heaved a great sigh and got up to fetch more bol. He sat down opposite her again and slowly drained his mug, never taking his eyes off her. She waited patiently. There was nothing more she could tell him without revealing her deepest secrets and she was not yet prepared to do that.

Cery emptied his mug and put it down on the table with a bang, "All right, Sonea, you win! I will help you."


	29. Finding Takan

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**Finding Takan**

Sonea was exhausted. A combination of lack of sleep and endless searching of the city meant she was progressively more and more tired with each day that passed. The only bright spot in her life at the moment was the first hints that the barrier to her magic was gradually weakening. Only this morning, she had been able to create a globelight, although it only flickered into life for a few seconds before fading, at least that represented progress.

It had been four days since Cery agreed to help her search for Takan. She knew he was still reluctant to do so, but he had done as much as he could, just the same. He had offered no further argument, but had made arrangements to make her search easier. She had a small group of half a dozen of his men who were hers to direct. Between them, they had divided up the various sections of the city and were methodically searching them for any trace of Takan. So far, none had found even a hint of his presence.

She sighed heavily and poured another mug of raka. It was the only thing which kept her on her feet these days. She thought about the areas they had covered so far. All were similar to the place where Takan had taken them on their first night back. That Akkarin had left money for his servant to use was obvious. Sonea thought of the large building they'd first occupied, as well as the funds used to pay the dwells for their help with providing strength. There was a lot of money at Takan's disposal.

"Perhaps he's found a building in a more prosperous area!" she said out loud. "Perhaps we've been looking in the wrong place all this time."

Gol, who had been dosing in his usual corner by the fire, looked up at her words and she hastened to reassure him. She was becoming rather fond of Cery's bodyguard who now seemed to spend more time with her than his principal. She had Cery to thank for her protection, although it was at the expense of his own. The city was crawling with magicians, especially Warriors and she was afraid she would run into someone she knew, or who knew her. Gol, being tall as well as bulky, was able to keep an eye out for magicians and warn her before she blundered into one.

She grabbed the map Cery had provided and studied it carefully. _Where would Takan go if money was not a problem? _She eagerly scanned various areas before throwing the map aside in frustration. It was hopeless, like looking for a single grain of wheat in a sack full of cereals.

She swallowed more raka, it was losing its heat but she couldn't face making more, although there were plentiful supplies of the basic ingredients thoughtfully provided by Cery along with other foodstuffs. Despite not having the services of a regular cook, Sonea had been eating well since she had left the Guild. She idly thought about some of the meals she had eaten, tasty and full of goodness, so unlike the meals provided for the Guild's prisoner. Then, as she continued to think about food, it came to her. _What is Takan famous for? Food and cooking! Where is he likely to go at some point? The market!_

"I've been rather stupid, Gol," she said, startling the bodyguard who was settling down for a nap. "We have been looking in the wrong places. We need to focus on the market."

"Why's that Miss?" Gol asked, a frown creasing his forehead. He wasn't a quick thinker, except within his own area of expertise.

"Takan will have to buy food and he wouldn't trust anyone else to get exactly the right things he needs. We need to watch the market."

The market at Imardin was the biggest in the country and occupied a large area mid way between the residential areas of the Western Quarter and the port. Along with the main market area, there were several smaller sections which spread out along other streets. She was familiar with the layout from her days as a young dwell heavily involved with stealing various things, including food. _Where would Takan go? _She assumed he favoured particular suppliers from his many years cooking at the Residence. She had eaten many a fine meal he had provided then, with little thought as to where he bought the ingredients. It was no good, she didn't know, so they would have to cover the whole market and as many of the side streets as possible. That would mean taking her six helpers away from their assigned tasks and setting them to watch the market.

She sent Gol off to fetch the others and stirred herself to make more Raka and prepare some food for when they arrived. As they ate, she set out her new plan. They didn't argue, they never did and she wondered just what Cery had said to them.

The market opened very early in the morning, when the best produce was first available. That was the time Sonea felt sure Takan would go to get his supplies. There were two advantages from his point of view, the best things would be available and it would leave the rest of the day free to look after Akkarin. She briefly considered the possibility that Takan would employ someone else to buy the food, but then she discounted it. She felt sure he would want to pick over the produce himself, rather than leave it to the judgement of someone else, whom he would view as little more than an amateur when it came to buying food.

They would start their surveillance of the market next day and Sonea organised her team to provide full coverage. She, herself, would take the earliest shift. She wanted to find Takan urgently and needed to be first on the scene. _It isn't that I don't trust the others_, she told herself, _It's just that I need to be there for my own peace of mind,_

They spent the next two days at the market, right from the early start, to the time when the stalls started to shut down, well after dark. All of them were tired and Sonea felt increasingly uncomfortable with the dark glances that were beginning to be thrown her way from Cery's men. They were used to an active life and standing around all day in the market was not their idea of being active. None of them had gone so far as to complain directly, but she had a feeling that it wouldn't be long, especially if they had many more days of not finding Takan.

However, early on the third day, Sonea caught a glimpse of someone she thought was Takan. He was one of the first people to arrive just as the stalls were opening and that would fit with her idea of what he was likely to do. She watched him for a few minutes. He was enveloped in a large dark green cloak, with the hood up. This made it difficult to discern his features, but she was almost certain it was Takan by the way he moved. He had the servant's gliding gate and he was certainly paying very close attention to the goods on offer, picking up various items, smelling them, examining them carefully, before making his selection, all things she thought Takan would do.

She stayed in the shadows, watching as he went from stall to stall, making purchases and stowing his goods in a leather sack hanging from his waist. When it looked as if he had got all he came for, she moved closer to him. As he turned from the last stall and started towards the residential areas, she got close behind him and finally spoke his name.

He whirled around and stared at her for a moment, then grabbed her arm and pulled her into a side street.

"What are you doing here, Sym?" he said sharply. "It is dangerous for you to be on the streets. They are looking for you everywhere."

She was almost laughing and crying with relief, "Takan, thank the Eye I've found you. Take me to Akk…"

"Do not say that name here!" he interrupted fiercely. "You don't know who is listening."

She sobered immediately, "I'm sorry. Take me to Verrin, now, please."

He stared at her for a moment, then turned his face away, "He is gone, Sym," he said tonelessly, "He is gone."

"I don't believe it," she exclaimed, "What do you mean 'gone'?"

"You will not see him again, Sym. He is gone. You should get out of the city. Find a refuge somewhere, it's too dangerous here for you at the moment." Takan's voice was devoid of expression, almost as if he were repeating a lesson well learned.

She didn't know what to do. All her hopes had rested on finding Takan. She had convinced herself that he had rescued Akkarin and taken him somewhere safe and now all he kept repeating was what Balkan had said earlier. She stared at him, but his face gave nothing away.

"I think you're lying to me," she said eventually, "I think you know where he is and I want you to tell me, so I can keep my promise. You remember my promise, don't you? It's the one you asked me to make, to look after him…."

A faint colour rose in Takan's cheeks and his eyes dropped from hers for a moment, then he stared at her again, "I'm sorry, Sym, but I can't take you to him because he is gone. You remember how he was the last time you saw him? He was badly injured, remember? You cannot keep your promise now."

She began to think she'd got things terribly wrong and Akkarin was dead after all. There seemed no reason for Takan to say he was gone, if he wasn't. He knew what had happened between them and he knew of her commitment to Akkarin, so why would he lie?

She stared at him, trying to read the truth from his expression, but Takan had taken on some of the mannerisms of his master and he presented a smooth, bland mask which she couldn't penetrate.

"You do understand, don't you Sym?" he said firmly, "You need to get far away from Imardin and wait for better times. This will pass and then you can go back to your life."

She shook her head, "I have no future with the Guild any more. What they did to me after the battle has shown me that….." Her voice faded away as she struggled to understand what to say or do next. She put a hand to her head for a moment and closed her eyes, while she thought through what to say to Takan.

Once the words were straight in her mind, she opened her eyes only to find that Takan had taken the opportunity to disappear. She looked around frantically but there was no trace of the green-cloaked figure. She tried to think back, had she heard him move? Which direction? But it was useless. She could have screamed in frustration. All her careful planning had found Takan, then she had lost him through her own stupid fault.


	30. On Her Own

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**On Her Own**

"Well, that's that isn't it?" Cery didn't seem too upset by Sonea's tale of finding and then losing Takan. He was sitting at the kitchen table, while Gol dozed in his corner, listening to her account of what had happened at the market while swigging a large mug of bol.

"What do you mean Cery?" she said sharply, but the sinking feeling in her stomach gave lie to her question. She knew exactly what he meant.

He didn't answer straight away, but poured a generous helping of bol into a mug and passed it to her, taking his own mug and refreshing it. Sonea accepted the drink, but didn't make any effort to drink it. It was barely past breakfast time, much too early for drinking the potent brew. She put it down untasted beside her and fixed Cery with a sharp gaze.

"All it means is that I have to watch for Takan again, then simply follow him, rather than try to talk to him. I found him once, I'll find him again and this time I won't be so stupid as to lose him."

Cery all but hurled his bol mug against the wall in frustration, before remembering he had company and satisfied himself by setting it down hard.

"Sonea, you have to know when to give up! Everyone has been telling you that Akkarin is dead and gone. Even _**you**_ have to believe it when the man's own servant tells you the same thing. He was the one you said would have rescued Akkarin and kept him safe, wasn't he? Well you were wrong. He didn't save Akkarin and he's given you good advice – get out of the city and lie low for a while until all this has died down, then decide what you want to do with the rest of your life."

She said nothing in reply. She couldn't explain herself to Cery without opening up areas she needed to keep hidden. If he wouldn't take her word for things, and continue to help her, well, she would have to do it on her own. She frowned in concentration. _What is my next move? _

"I'm taking my men back, Sonea."

Deep in her own thoughts, Cery's voice startled her and she took a moment to understand just what he'd said. Although she had been half-expecting it, it was still a blow.

"I see," she said, her voice carefully neutral. "Thank you for lending them to me. I know they have proper work to do and standing around all day waiting for a woman to tell them what to do has been difficult for them. They've worked willingly for me and I'm grateful for all their help."

Cery looked relieved as if he'd expected her to argue, but she'd finally understood that her childhood friend, who'd always been happy to take her orders, had grown up and was now a proper young Thief, building up his organisation, extending his power and he was willing no longer to simply do whatever she asked. She had to find a different way to gain his cooperation.

"Can I stay here for now?" she asked quietly, looking directly into his face, a tremulous smile hovering on her lips.

Cery's face broke into a smile, "Of course. Stay as long as you like," he said jovially, then his voice changed, became more earnest. "You will think hard about Takan's advice, won't you? The Guild has poured a lot of Warriors into the city. They obviously want you back and seem determined to find you."

"Yes," she said, "I will, but first, I want to search a little more. I feel bad about giving up so easily."

She glanced at him from under her lowered lids, she had always known how to twist him round her little finger and whilst he was more aware of what was due to him as a Thief, he was still her childhood friend.

"If I can stay here for a few days and cover the final few areas of the city, I'll feel much better about leaving. I'll know then I've done all I can to find him. If I stopped now, I would always wonder if he was just in the next house or the next street and if I'd kept going I would have found him. If you could help me too by getting me some different clothes, in case people start to remember me hanging around, I will be ready to start tomorrow."

Cery looked as if a weight had been lifted off him. He believed she was close to giving up and was perhaps trying to salve her conscience by wanting to search a little while longer. He smiled and nodded as she spoke, then broke in eagerly.

"There's no problem with you being here. I have no need of the accommodation for the moment. Clothes, they're no problem either. I'll have some delivered later today. And some more food." He paused, then went on, "I'll have to have Gol, of course.

"Of course you do," she agreed. "It's been very kind of you to lend him to me for so long. He's been a great help."

Both men beamed at her praise and she could see a faint blush creep up the big man's cheeks. It was true, Gol had been an enormous help. She had relied on him to keep her from stumbling into magicians and she felt safe with him at her side. She would miss him.

"I'll go and organise the clothes," Cery said, standing to leave.

"Just before you go," she began, "Have you heard of any unexplained deaths in the city? You know, the sort of deaths Akkarin had you looking for before."

Cery frowned at her, "What's this about, Sonea?" he said suspiciously, "Why do you need to know about that?"

She smiled disarmingly, "Oh, I just wondered if they had stopped after the work Akkarin and I did. You haven't heard anything, have you?"

"There's been one or two odd cases," Cery said, "But nothing special comes to mind."

"Do you know if the victims had been stabbed or cut with a knife?"

"Look, Sonea, I won't have you starting another wild goose chase trying to find murderers! Finish your search, then take yourself off into the country somewhere. Just send me a message when you're settled and when things have quietened down here, I'll let you know and you can come back."

Sonea could see that Cery was close to losing his temper with her and she didn't want him to tell her she had to be gone immediately, so she just nodded and thanked him for the information. It sounded very much to her as if there were some black magicians still in the city and she wondered again if Kariko and his helper were still here.

The clothes, when they were delivered later that day, were just what she needed. There were two sets, one male and one female. Although they appeared to be the usual shabby clothes worn by the poor of Imardin, in fact they were made of good quality cloth and were both warm and practical. Having the two sets meant she could switch disguises to further confuse any watchers.

She poured over the map again, plotting her route for the next stage of her search. She still felt the market was a useful starting point, so she decided to start each day of her search there. She was sure Takan would come back. She imagined he thought she would take his words to heart and give up, but he was wrong about her. She had no intention of letting Akkarin go and would keep on searching until she either found him or found where his body was buried. However, to do that, she had to make sure to keep out of the Guild's hands.

She remembered how the Guild had found her before, when she'd been a dwell who couldn't control her magic. Then she had given off bursts of magic which had acted as a beacon for the searching magicians. Now, her magic had been blunted by the drugs she'd been fed, but it was starting to return and she must remember to keep checking its levels and hiding her possession of it.

She remembered how Akkarin had forbidden her from using magic when they were in the wastelands and how difficult she had found it. Well, now, she'd had a lot of practice at not using it, so she was sure that the Guild wouldn't find her that way again. Unfortunately, she was rather well known to most magicians, her original status as a dwell had singled her out from the beginning of her noviciate and then she had become the High Lord's Novice and finally had been expelled in disgrace. All of these stages in her life had marked her out from the others and it would be a rare magician who didn't know her, however vaguely. She would need a good disguise now that Gol would not be available to warn her of approaching magicians.

She took the clothing up to her room, where there was a mirror, and practised different disguises, firstly as a young lad, then as an older woman or a bolhouse maid. She changed bits of the clothing around, using scarves and shawls from the bundle to change her appearance. By the time she had finished, she was satisfied that she could sufficiently change her appearance to risk being in the same area several days running without being recognised. That would be important in the market for the stallholders were notoriously sharp-eyed.

The house was empty without Cery or Gol and seemed to echo to her footsteps as she moved around. She went down to the kitchen and made herself some supper. Cery had left some bottles of wine in the cellar, so she opened one and poured herself a large glass. It was the dark red wine Akkarin loved and sipping it sharpened her memories of him and the intimate moments they had shared. She could almost see him sitting across from her, his face expressionless as usual, but with a glowing warmth deep within his eyes which promised so much.

She gulped the rest of the wine and poured more. Perhaps enough of it would make her sleep and dream of him. Perhaps the dreams would be real enough to calm the fluttering within her when she thought of him. She thought back to earlier conversations with Cery and although he hadn't mentioned the word obsession, she knew that's how he viewed her determination to find Akkarin. _Am I obsessed with him?_ she asked herself. _Doesn't being in love mean you think about your beloved all the time? Isn't it love which makes you feel diminished when your beloved is not with you?_

She sighed. She had no experience of what being in love meant and so no way of knowing if her longing and frantic determination to find Akkarin was normal behaviour for lovers. _And I don't care!_ she thought defiantly. _Tomorrow, I will start my solitary search and I won't stop until I find him._


	31. An Unexpected Encounter

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**An Unexpected Encounter**

Sonea was furious with herself. She had spent almost an hour carefully tracking a man in a dark green cloak from the market almost to the South Square before discovering he was not Takan. Once she realised, of course, it was obvious. The man was taller than Akkarin's servant and didn't have his odd gliding gate, but her desperation to find Takan had blinded her to all this as her mind fixed on the fact the man was wearing a dark green cloak.

She sat on a bench in the square, almost without enough energy to walk back to the market. It was the fourth day of her solitary search and she had to admit to herself that it wasn't going well. There'd been no sign of Takan at the early morning market, nor anywhere in the streets she had covered. _Perhaps you should give up,_ her mind slyly suggested, but she ignored the thought. She had had similar ones over the last day or so and as time passed with no success, it was becoming just a little bit harder to be positive.

There was a raka vendor near the square's fountain, so she spent a few coins on a drink. She sat sipping, relishing the heat which permeated her body as she swallowed. After a minute or two, she could almost feel the energy rush as her mood lightened. Although she hadn't planned on searching in the South Quarter today, as fate had led her here, she thought she might as well have a look round.

As she started to rise, she caught a glimpse of bright green out of the corner of her eye. _Healer. _She sat down again and kept still, her head bent over the cup, hoping whoever it was would walk on. She was dressed as a woman today and used her shawl to hide more of her hair. To her horror, she could see the green-robed figure coming closer. If she got up to move now, that might make her look suspicious, so she kept still, deliberately keeping her head down and turned slightly away from the approaching Healer.

The Healer sat down on the bench, not particularly close to her, but as she was the only other occupant, that didn't mean much. The raka was almost gone. _Could I just get up and go over to the stall for another?_ she thought to herself, then discarded that plan. _I would need to come back to drink it! To move away carrying the cup would look even more suspicious._

Then the Healer spoke, "Good day. It's nice to see the sun for a change."

Sonea froze. There was no one else in the vicinity so the Healer had to be speaking to her. She mumbled something in a low voice, hoping that would be enough, but the Healer seemed to be in a chatty mood.

"Not many people in the Square today," the man's voice said cheerfully. "I often come here and it's usually quite busy. Do you live nearby?"

There was something about the voice which stirred a memory. It must be some one she knew or had had dealings with. She would have to answer him soon, not to do so risked increasing his interest.

Still looking down, she mumbled, "No, err, I don't live here."

She sensed the man beside her still suddenly. She risked a quick glance up from beneath lowered lids. She got the impression he was looking at her, a frown creasing his forehead, but she wasted no time in trying to see who it was. She dropped her eyes quickly and started to stand.

"I have to go my lord….." she started to say, when the Healer quickly grabbed her wrist.

"Sonea!" he hissed. "It is you, isn't it?"

She turned to look more closely at him and found herself looking into the concerned face of Lorlen. For a moment she was thrown, it couldn't be Lorlen. He wore Administrator's blue robes not green, but it was him, there could be no doubt.

"Lorlen," she whispered, "I don't understand…"

He laughed humourlessly, "You mean these?" He gestured at his robes, "You forget, I was a Healer before I was Administrator and now I'm a Healer again."

She sat down again and stared at him. He wore a bitter expression which slowly faded as he noticed her concern. He glanced over at her empty cup and asked if she would like more raka. She nodded. "You won't run away while I'm gone, will you?" he said, "We should talk." She shook her head, not trusting her voice to answer him properly. He got up and went to the stall, returning with two cups and a bag of cakes.

She took the drink, but refused a cake. It was all she could do to cope with the raka. Lorlen sat close beside her and said nothing for a moment, then he said, "It will be all right to talk here. I'm often in the square talking to people. This is part of my area. No one will think it strange."

She glanced at him, "You work here? In the city?"

"Yes."

"Why are you working as a Healer? I don't understand. What's going on in the Guild?"

He laughed, a ghost of his old cheerful self, "Administrators and High Lords tend to come as a pair. They work very closely together and it would have been strange for me to continue as Administrator after my High Lord was deposed."

Deposed, such a strange word, she rolled it around in her head. Yet, Sonea supposed, it was true. Akkarin had been removed, against his will, by the King and the Higher Magicians and what Lorlen was saying made a kind of sense to her. But, she realised, it must have been a bitter blow for Lorlen who had enjoyed his work.

"I'm sorry," she said, almost feeling responsible.

He laughed again, more bitterly this time. "I should be grateful they didn't punish me for knowing about Akkarin and not telling them. They found the blood gem ring, so I couldn't deny it. Someone knew what it was, so I had to tell them everything. Instead they decided I should take my Healing skills into the city. It keeps me away from the Guild, as I only go there to sleep."

He swallowed some raka, then looked into her face, "Why are you still in the city? You should be far away by now. There are search parties out looking for you."

Instead of answering, she asked a question of her own, "Do you believe Akkarin now? Do you accept he was telling the truth?"

She leaned forward, closer to him, waiting for his answer. How much she told him would depend on what he said next.

"Yes," he said simply, "I do. I should have known he would never betray everything the Guild stands for. If only he'd told me what was going on, I could have helped him."

At that moment, a group of Warriors entered the square. Sonea saw them almost immediately. _Lorlen has sent to them saying where I am! _She turned to look at her companion, a look of betrayal on her face.

"Stay still, Sonea," he said urgently. "If they see me talking to you, they'll ignore you. I often talk to people here."

The Warriors looked around the square and their glances passed over the Healer without a second glance. They questioned the raka seller and checked down one or two of the side streets. After a few minutes, they left. Sonea let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

"Do you think I would betray you?" he said and she could hear the hurt in his tone.

She looked straight at him, "The Guild has betrayed Akkarin. I've read the notice with its words chosen to imply Akkarin was fighting with the Ichani. They captured me and held me a close prisoner despite everything I had done to destroy the Ichani. They did nothing to help Akkarin when he was fighting outside the gates. Yes, I'm afraid I do think any magician is likely to betray me."

She heard him sigh, "The Guild is frightened, Sonea. They can't understand how to fight the threat of Sachakan black magicians. There is a lot of anger against Akkarin for not telling them what was happening, for not responding when they called for him and anger against you, too, for choosing to go with him when they'd done everything they could to persuade the King to let you stay. Balkan is a good Warrior, but it remains to be seen if he will be a good High Lord. He lacks Akkarin's skill in dealing with difficult situations and people, so he reacts by clamping down hard on anyone with different opinions or ideas. Many magicians are frightened to say what they think now and none will defend Akkarin or you."

It was as she'd thought. Recent events had changed the way magicians felt about themselves. Before, they had been practically invincible in the Allied Lands, regarded generally with great respect for their knowledge and their magic but now they knew themselves vulnerable, and the knowledge that their magic was not powerful enough to defeat the Ichani would surely eat away at them and make them suspicious of everything. From what Lorlen said, the Guild was not a happy place and it would take years perhaps before it went back to the way it was during her time as a novice.

"You should come back, Sonea. The Guild will protect you,"

Lorlen's voice was warm and sincere, but Sonea wasn't fooled. Whatever power Lorlen had had as Administrator was gone. He was no more than an ordinary Healer now, and moreover one who was regarded with suspicion by the Higher Magicians. He could not help her now.

"No, Lorlen, I can't go back to the Guild," she said firmly. "Did you know I was a prisoner of the Guild, until I managed to escape?"

Lorlen looked at her strangely, "A prisoner? You mentioned that before and I meant to ask you about it. What exactly do you mean?"

She told him what had happened to her and how she'd been treated by Vinara and the others. She could see he didn't want to believe her, but as her tale went on, he began to realise she was telling the truth. She told him a little of what had happened since she and Akkarin had been sent into exile. She said nothing about their personal relationship, but stressed instead the plans Akkarin had had for dealing with the Ichani.

"And between us, we managed to kill most of the invaders," she finished. "Akkarin stood before the Guild gates, stopping them from getting into the grounds and did you know that the Warriors closed the gates behind him and did nothing to help him even when he was badly injured?"

"We were told little of the battle," Lorlen admitted. "Most of us were in the buildings, with only the Warriors left outside. We were told the Warriors prevented the Ichani from getting in."

"And you believed them?" She couldn't keep the outrage from her voice. "They told you nothing of what we did?"

"No," he said baldly. "And no one questioned what they were told."

Silence fell between them for a moment. For Sonea, the last hope, that somewhere in the Guild there would be people who knew how Akkarin had saved them, died. He would only be remembered as a High Lord who had broken his vows and learned forbidden magic, a High Lord removed from office in disgrace, a magician who had died attacking the Guild having been defeated by the noble Warriors of the Guild. As for herself, just like Akkarin had warned her, she would be regarded as his creature, doing his bidding.

"Sonea, you should leave the city. If you won't come back to the Guild, and I can see why you won't, then you must go. What is there here for you?"

"I have to find Akkarin. He's here, in the city and I must find him."

There, she'd said it. Now she waited for Lorlen's reaction. It was not long in coming.

"Akkarin is dead," he said gently. "You know that, it was on the official notice."

"Then where is he buried?" she asked. "Where is his grave?"

"His body wouldn't have survived. You know that too, Sonea."

She could hear the sympathetic Healer's tone in his voice and hated it.

"When I saw him last, his power was almost gone and there was a large knife buried in his chest. There was not enough magic left to destroy his body. So, if he is dead, there would have been something to bury!" she said sharply.

Lorlen gazed at her, trying to gauge her mood, "You are grieving, Sonea, and grief makes us believe what we want to believe. You want to believe he is alive, when all the evidence tells us he is not. Your own description – power almost gone, a knife in his chest, fighting a powerful black magician – how could he possibly have survived that? You said you lost consciousness. The Warriors who took you in could have taken his body at the same time. Balkan would have had it buried."

His voice was that of a Healer dealing with a difficult patient, calm and reasonable. It made Sonea angrier and angrier.

"Balkan!" she spat, "Don't talk to me about him! He wouldn't tell me where Akkarin was. All he kept repeating was that he was gone! When I asked to see where he was buried, he wouldn't answer me."

"This will hurt you, but I have to say it." Lorlen hesitated as he searched for the right words, "If his body survived, Balkan would have had him buried in an unmarked grave somewhere known only to a trusted few. He wouldn't want anyone to think Akkarin was some sort of hero. He wouldn't want people visiting his grave and leaving tokens. That's why he wouldn't tell you."

The pain surprised her. Yes that did hurt, to think that after everything he'd sacrificed, all Akkarin would have would be an unknown resting place, a hole in the ground where he could be hidden from view and swiftly forgotten. Unbidden tears filled her eyes and she fought a losing battle to stop them falling.

She felt Lorlen take her hand, "Sonea, don't cry." But the sympathy in his voice only made her tears fall faster. She felt his other hand close over hers, so it was held between both of his and she sensed some sort of magic flow, but her own power was still so weak, she couldn't tell what it was. He said nothing more, content to let her take time to compose herself.

After a few minutes, she began to feel calmer, whatever the magic Lorlen had used, it was working. Now she had to explain why the thought of Akkarin in a dark hole in the ground was so upsetting. Lorlen deserved that, at least. She left her hand enclosed in his and turned to look at him.

"Thank you Lorlen, for listening and for the Healing. You are probably wondering why talk of Akkarin in an unmarked grave upsets me so much….."

"He was your Guardian, Sonea, and you lived in the Residence for a long time, it's only natural…"

"It's not that," she interrupted. She took a deep breath, Lorlen deserved the whole truth, she decided. "I love him, Lorlen. I love Akkarin very much and I have to find him."

There was silence, she looked at the conflicting expressions which crossed Lorlen's face, the one which remained the longest was shock.

"You love him?" His voice conveyed his deep surprise.

She smiled, "Yes, I love him. I made a promise to look after him and I must keep it. You do understand, don't you?"

"Does he love you?"

There it was. The natural next question, the one she couldn't answer, but she had to say something.

"He feels something for me, Lorlen, but I don't know if he loves me. But I don't care! I love him and that's enough for me. Now you see why I have to find him?"

"Grief does strange things…." he started, but Sonea didn't want to hear any more Healer's talk. She snatched her hand away and stood up.

"I've explained everything, Lorlen. Don't tell me it's just grief talking. If Akkarin were dead, I would know it. Somehow, deep inside I would know. But I don't feel he's dead. Somewhere, somehow, he is alive and he is in this city. I will stay here until I find him. After that, well, I don't know what will happen. It will depend on what Akkarin wants to do, but nothing on this earth will make me leave Imardin until I find him."

Lorlen stood to face her, "I understand, Sonea, I really do. There's not much I can do to help, but if you need me, come to this square. As I told you, I am often here. If I'm not, send one of the children with a message. They all know Healer Lorlen."

"Thank you Lorlen. If I don't see you again, it will be because I've found him."

He stared intently at her for a moment, as if trying to read her thoughts, but he didn't have Akkarin's skill. He smiled at her. "I wish you well, Sonea."

Lorlen turned and walked away without a backward glance. She watched until he disappeared down one of the side streets before turning once again towards the market. It was going to be another long day.


	32. Down on the Docks

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**Down on the Docks**

The effects of the raka she'd drunk buoyed her up as Sonea trudged back to the market. She wasn't sure how she truly felt about meeting Lorlen. He had been friendly and had offered to help, even though there was little he could do, but she thought that in his heart, he believed that Akkarin was dead.

She went over the things he'd said to her and she had to admit to herself that they were plausible. Takan could have been prevented from reaching his master in time to rescue him. Akkarin's body could have been taken by the Warriors when they collected her. Balkan could have had him buried in an unmarked grave, for the reasons Lorlen had given. It all sounded so logical, but she didn't believe it. She couldn't. If once she admitted to herself that Akkarin was indeed gone, then her whole future was cast into oblivion. Ever since that first time, when she'd kissed Akkarin and felt his answering desire, her whole purpose had been to stay with him, no matter what he decided to do. She had given no thought to any alternative. But now…but now? If she came to accept the view of Lorlen, Balkan and even Cery, then what would she do with the rest of her life?

"I can't go back to the Guild!" she said out loud, startling a thin cat that was sitting on a step.

There was no future for her there, Balkan and Vinara had made that quite plain during the time she had been a prisoner. She would be kept in isolation for the rest of her life, in case she tempted other magicians into learning black magic. The alternative of having her powers blocked, she rejected totally. The past few days without it had shown her just how much she had come to rely on magic.

_Cery would take me in. _She knew that as surely as if he'd said it to her. _But at what cost? _She couldn't be his lover, she never thought of him that way, but could a single woman live on her own amongst the Thieves without a male protector? Possibly, but not likely. She didn't look forward to a life of fending off first one, and then another, who fancied his chances. She knew that Cery quite liked the idea of having his own magician, but the influence of her Guild training made her feel reticent about going renegade like Senfel. It was bad enough being exiled as a black magician, but at least with that she had the knowledge that her treatment was undeserved. If she went renegade, she would have no such solace.

She walked on and on, taking no notice of her surroundings, deep in thought. At one point she smiled to herself. She felt like one of those small rodents that children kept as pets, which spent their lives running round and round on a wheel. Despite her best intentions, she began to feel the edges of her certainty of Akkarin's survival start to chip away as she remembered snatches of conversations with Lorlen, Balkan and the rest. As she did so, her mood darkened and she began to feel sorry that she had survived the Ichani attack. It would have been so much simpler if she had never wakened from the darkness. Perhaps then, she would be with Akkarin.

"No!" she said loudly as she stopped moving. The people around her muttered and stared, as they pushed past her but she ignored them. _You have to stop thinking like this! _she told herself firmly. _You are Sonea, the dwell who overcame so much to became a strong and capable magician, not some stupid little thing who cannot cope with what life throws at her. No more indulgence in self-pity! You had a plan. Stick to it. Find Akkarin. _

She took stock of her surroundings. She had walked much farther than she'd realised, way past the market. She found herself in some rather seedy side streets, not far from the city's port. The narrow streets and tall buildings made the area dark and gloomy, giving the impression that sunlight never penetrated. Within the gloom, there were pockets of deeper shadows which didn't bear much scrutiny. She had not been so far before and had no real idea of where she was. The houses here were even shabbier than in the poorer parts of the city she was more used to. The people on the streets seemed to be either sailors or doxies. She didn't care for the glances she got from either.

She stepped into a doorway, out of the way of passers by; she needed time to think.

It was apparent to her that she needed to get out of the area and back to a part of the city where she didn't feel so vulnerable. She peered back the way she'd come, but the street twisted and turned so she couldn't see more than a few buildings ahead. She looked the other way, hoping to catch a glimpse of the river to help her orientate herself.

As she did so, she caught sight of a tall figure emerging from one of the buildings lower down the road. There was something in that simple movement which stirred her interest. He was plainly dressed, a felt hat covering his hair, loose trousers and a sleeveless jerkin over a shirt and no cloak. He began walking down the street away from her, so she could only see a back view, but his movements were very familiar to her.

_Akkarin!_

Almost as if she had called his name, the man stopped and his head whipped round. She pressed herself back into the shadows but just before she did so, she had a quick glimpse of a heavily bearded face before he swiftly turned and continued on his way. It was Akkarin, she was sure of it. Not only did he move with a Warrior's athletic grace, but he carried himself in a way very familiar to those who knew the former High Lord well. Without conscious thought, she started to follow, slinking along, close to the buildings, making full use of any shadows. The man moved quickly, taking long strides, so it was difficult for her to keep up.

She couldn't quite remember which building he had emerged from, so she had no choice but to follow. Already she was some way behind, and if she weren't careful, she would lose sight of him. As before, his height made following him slightly easier as she could see him over the heads of others in the street. However, keeping herself to the shadows slowed her own progress and to her despair he gradually got further and further ahead. To make matters worse, she was beginning to attract attention from some of the men in the area, who seemed to think she was one of the local women who provided entertainment for sailors on shore leave. She wished for the return of her powers so that she could have kept them away with a little magic, but the effects of the drug still prevented anything other than a feeble flickering.

A rather longer effort to evade a more persistent man caused her to lose sight of Akkarin. She glanced around rather desperately, but the tall figure she'd been following had gone. She rushed on ahead and found herself on a busy quayside. There were several boats tied up and the dock was filled with sailors and merchants. She looked around, but saw nothing of her quarry. She wandered along the dock, hoping that he would come into view. It was a hazardous journey, for not only was the place full of people hurrying around, but there were piles of cargo either waiting to be loaded, or waiting for collection by Imardin merchants. She had to concentrate on navigating her way around the obstructions or risk tripping and perhaps falling into the river, so she was unable to search as effectively as she might wish.

She must have walked up and down the dock for a good half hour, before admitting to herself that Akkarin, if it was he, had gone. She remembered her mistake with the man in a green cloak and wondered if her mind had convinced her to see Akkarin in a man who was simply a tall sailor. _No! It was him_, she told herself firmly. Reaching the end of the dock yet again, she paused and took a good look round. For the first time she noticed buildings set back from the dock. They seemed to be bol houses, inns, or worse, places where sailors could spend their pay without moving too far away from their ships.

She moved closer, scanning the buildings trying to decide if Akkarin could have gone into one of them. They didn't look particularly appealing. Most were rather shabby and often crowded with drunken men; all were full. It was hard to believe that the ships tied up against the dock could contain so many men. It was hopeless trying to see in. There was no alternative, she had to enter the buildings to check them properly.

The first she tried was a bol house. There was nothing much inside by way of fixtures and fittings or any comforts at all, as far as she could see. The floor was bare boards and there were only one or two tables and a few benches. Still, it was popular. Men stood around the bar area four or five deep in places. It was noisy and she could detect an underlying smell of unwashed bodies, sour bol and something else she refused to dwell on. There were few women, mostly doxies who had snared a client, and the glances they threw her way were not friendly. She tried to look like a wife searching for her man, rather than a potential rival. After a few minutes, and with no sightings of Akkarin, she turned to leave, but found her way blocked by a large man, who refused to move when she indicated she wished to pass.

"Excuse me," she tried again, but as she stepped to her right to avoid him, the man moved with her so that he was still in her way.

"Now, my pretty," he slurred, "No need to run away." He tapped a purse at his belt, "Semur's got a lot of coin here. Enough to show a girl a good time."

He leered at her, letting his eyes run up and down her body before settling his eager gaze on her breasts. She felt a cold lump form in her stomach as she tried to think how to get away from him. He had obviously been drinking for some time and had reached the stage where he would either pass out or start a fight. Looking at him closely, she decided he was more likely to become violent.

"I'm looking for my man," she said hurriedly, "He hasn't come home yet. He's not here so I've got to keep looking in the other bol houses. Please let me pass."

Semur laughed, and it wasn't a pleasant laugh. "He's a fool then to stay away when he's got a ripe peach to bed."

He put a meaty hand on her arm and dragged her closer, so that she could smell the sour odour of drink and onions on his breath. She twisted in his grasp, but was unable to break free. She didn't want to draw attention to herself unnecessarily, but she couldn't see how to get away without help. He was much too strong and without her magic, she didn't stand much chance against him.

"Please," she whispered, "I've got to find my man. The child's fretting."

Her appeal went unheard as Semur's other hand fixed itself on her lower back and pulled her until she was jammed up against him, breathing in his unpleasant body odour, her breasts squashed against his chest. He pulled up her skirt and ran his hand familiarly over her buttocks and thighs before jabbing it between her legs. She turned her head hoping to see a friendly face so she could appeal for help, but the men looking her way were grinning encouragement to the big man.

"You're ready for it," Semur said between wet slobbering kisses, "I can read the signs. That man of yours been away long? Never mind girl, you're in for a treat!"

He shouted over the heads of the customers to the bolhouse keeper, "I need a room quickly, I've found me a good one here!"

The men surrounding them were laughing now as she struggled to free herself. They shouted encouragement to Semur, and she felt her face grow hot as she heard the suggestions flung his way. He roared back with some ideas of his own and began to drag her towards the back of the room. Try as she might she couldn't break his grip.

"Take your hands off my woman!" A cold, angry voice said clearly.

Semur spun around, taking her with him and Sonea found herself looking into the furious eyes of Akkarin.


	33. Rescue

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

Rescue

Her first reaction was one of profound relief. She would be saved and, best of all, saved by Akkarin. Her second reaction was one of shock because she suddenly realised that the fury in Akkarin's eyes was directed at her and not the drunken sailor who had her firmly in his grip.

The cold voice came again, "Take your filthy hands off my woman!"

Semur's eyes narrowed, taking in the taller man's confident stance. For a moment, he seemed to waver and Sonea thought he would let her go, then his hand tightened painfully on her arm and he jerked her even closer to him. "Make me, or wait 'til I've finished. Now get out of my way, I've got a bed waiting."

They had attracted quite an audience. Others, hearing the angry voices, had come to join the original group which had been encouraging Semur. They formed a ring around the three and Sonea could almost taste their anticipation as they waited for the inevitable fight. She stared at Akkarin. He was icy calm and had taken a relaxed stance. Although taller, his figure was slight compared to the beefy Semur, but Sonea had seen him fight and knew he was more capable, with or without magic, than the muscular, but drunken, man holding her so tightly.

"For the final time," Akkarin warned, "Take your hands off her and you can leave unharmed. If not….." He let his words trail off, re-enforcing the threat in his voice.

The crowd around them whistled and cheered their appreciation of the fight to come. Some shouted encouraging words to Semur and she could hear others making wagers on the outcome. From what she could glean, Akkarin was not the favourite. He was staring at Semur, reading his surface thoughts, perhaps even delving a little into his mind, reading his moves before he made them. It would be very foolish to bet against him.

The fight was over, almost before it had begun. Semur flung her to the floor and sprang at Akkarin, arms outstretched, fingers hooked ready to gouge eyes, but Akkarin was not there. He had moved swiftly to the side, avoiding Semur's headlong rush and as the big man passed him, a strategically placed blow to his stomach caused him to double over and a second blow knocked him to the floor. With a roar, the sailor regained his feet and, urged on by the crowd, lunged again at his opponent, who easily avoided him, hitting him firmly on the head as he passed. This time, the big man went down heavily. He got to his hands and knees, shaking his head groggily. Akkarin waited, his eyes fixed on his opponent, assessing what he would do next.

The crowd began shouting to Semur to get up and put an end to his opponent. The encouragement seemed to revive him as he got to his feet, but this time, he circled Akkarin warily, trying to seek out a weakness he could exploit. Akkarin gave him no time to work out a strategy. He moved closer to the sailor and, with a series of sharp jabbing punches knocked him to the floor. This time, the big man lay there groaning, blood pouring from his nose and a cut on his head, and made no move to get up.

Akkarin came over to Sonea and took hold of her arm, "Come with me," he said and the suppressed fury in his tone was clearly evident to her. She glanced at his face, but he ignored her, moving them swiftly through the crowd, which parted to let them pass. She could hear the murmurings of surprise and perhaps even approval as they made their way outside.

Akkarin halted a few steps away from the bolhouse. She opened her mouth to speak, but he motioned her to remain silent. She was bewildered by his attitude. He must have seen she was in trouble and had come to rescue her, so why wouldn't he speak? A moment or two later, Takan materialised by Akkarin's side. A silent communication passed between them, and then the servant turned to her.

"Come with me," he said with a half smile, "Let's get you somewhere warm and comfortable."

"But…" she said, turning to Akkarin, "Aren't you coming with me?"

He stared at her, his face expressionless, "Go with Takan. I will see you later on."

He must have seen the confusion and hurt on her face because a smile briefly crossed his lips. "I will come back," he said, "Then we will talk."

With that she had to be content because he turned and disappeared into the busy dockside crowd. Takan made a small noise, drawing her attention back to him.

"It's not far, then you can rest and have some food."

She went with Takan back to the street where she'd first caught sight of Akkarin. He unlocked a door and Sonea found herself in a narrow corridor, with several doors off it. Takan led her towards a door near the far end. He opened it and ushered her in to a sitting room of sorts. It was furnished with a variety of bits and pieces of furniture, none of it matching. There was a table and some chairs under a window which had its curtains drawn. There was a small fire giving out some warmth, and its flickering shadows added a degree of cheer to what was a rather unwelcoming room. On either side of the fireplace, there were two comfortable looking chairs. Takan indicated she should sit in one.

"Raka my lady?" he asked.

She smiled ruefully at his use of the honorific, "I don't think I qualify for a 'my lady' now Takan, but yes, I'd love a mug of raka."

He grinned and left her alone. She imagined he had a well-appointed kitchen somewhere. She was sure that whatever the state of the rest of the house, Takan's kitchen would be full of all the right things. It wasn't long before he returned with a steaming mug and a plate of savoury tartlets. She sniffed appreciatively at the enticing aromas which came from the still warm food.

"I do miss your cooking, Takan," she said, taking one and biting into it. It was as delicious as it looked.

Takan sat down in the other chair and watched her eat, a look of satisfied pleasure on his face. She hadn't realised just how hungry she was. Once she started on the tartlets, she didn't stop until they'd all gone and all that was left were a few crumbs on an empty plate.

"More raka, my lady?" Takan asked.

She nodded and he took her mug and disappeared. When he returned, he was carrying a large pot which he put down next to the fire to keep warm.

"Just in case you want more," he said.

He filled her mug and she drank half the scalding liquid before putting it down on the hearth. She looked up at the servant sitting patiently in the chair opposite.

"You lied to me Takan," she said accusingly.

He looked a trifle embarrassed, but his gaze was steady as he replied, "Servants must obey their masters, my lady. Akkarin was quite clear in his orders to me."

"I don't understand!" she burst out. "What was he trying to do?"

"You will have to ask him, my lady."

It was no use badgering Takan. Once he decided not to answer her questions, nothing would budge him. Still there were other ways to discover things. She picked up her mug and sipped at the raka.

"He knew I would look for him," she said musingly. "If he told you what to say to me, he must have expected me to find you."

"Akkarin has great confidence in your ability to discover what you want to know," Takan said with a grin. "He told me you were resourceful and he was right."

She couldn't prevent the glow of pride which filled her. In all their long association, Akkarin had never said such things directly to her. She had long had the impression that he worked with her because she'd discovered his secret, and not though choice. But perhaps she had been mistaken and he really appreciated her skills and aptitudes.

She looked up to find Takan smiling at her and she knew he knew what she was thinking. The hot colour flooded her cheeks and she buried her face in the raka mug in an effort to hide.

"How long before Akkarin comes?" she asked, knowing the blood gem link was likely to alert Takan, but he shrugged.

"He will come when he wishes to come and not before. Would you like to rest? There are rooms upstairs and several clean beds."

Suddenly, she felt tired, the emotional morning was beginning to take its toll and with no idea when Akkarin would return, it seemed sensible to take advantage of Takan's offer. She followed him upstairs and he showed her into a small room, with a bed, a chair and very little else. She lay down on the bed and closed her eyes, not expecting to actually sleep, but it was not long before she drifted away.

She awoke to darkness and the sound of a cool voice saying, "Why is it you never do what you are told?"

She opened her eyes and saw Akkarin sitting in the chair, a pale globelight shedding a soft light on him and his immediate surroundings. She scrambled up until she was sitting, her back against the wall. Her heart was pounding so hard, she thought he must be able to hear it. She fought for calm. The last thing she wanted to do was to drive him away again.

"What do you mean?" she said in an attempt to buy some time.

"You know exactly what I mean."

And she did. All those times when she had disobeyed his orders, evading her minders, following him to the Guild gates, refusing to go and leave him, all times when she had ignored everything he'd said, so she could do what she thought was best. Later, of course, she had ignored Takan's message and continued her search.

"A promise," she whispered, "I made a solemn promise."

She heard him give a snort of exasperation, "Yes, your fabled promise. How long do you intend to rely on that for your defence?"

That annoyed her! She looked up at him abruptly, "It means something to me," she said angrily. "It was not a mere gesture to impress magicians at our Hearing, or just an empty form of words which mean nothing. I promised to look after you and nothing will persuade me to forget it."

She sensed, rather than saw a softening of his expression. She stared at him curiously. His beard was back and once again, it drew her attention to his mouth with its chiselled lips so well shaped for kissing. She was filled with a desire to explore that mouth, to wrap her arms around his neck and pull him close to her, but she knew this was not the time for emotion.

"You owe me an explanation," she said firmly. "Not once have you taken me into your confidence since our exile began. Enough is enough; I want to hear your justification. You owe me that much."

"Yes, you're right," he said unexpectedly. "I owe you more than you possibly know."

He stood up, "There are fresh clothes in that chest," he pointed to something behind the door. "Change your garments, then come downstairs. I'm sure I can find some wine somewhere and we can have a talk."

As the door closed behind him, she got off the bed. She was surprised to find her legs were trembling, and her breathing had quickened. Since opening her eyes and seeing him there, she had been afraid that she wouldn't be able to control her feelings and that a terrible argument would ensue. But she had managed to remain calm. All she had to do now was to hang on to that calmness downstairs.

She tried and failed to make a globelight, so made do with candles instead. She opened the chest and found it full of male clothing. She sorted out a pair of loose trousers in a dark colour, a white linen shirt with tight sleeves and a jacket in dark green cloth. She wished for water for washing, but there was no time to waste looking for it. She dressed quickly and ran her hands through her curls. A quick glimpse in the mirror confirmed she was neat and tidy.

She took a deep breath, then walked to the door, opened it and made her way downstairs.

e waHe


	34. Explanations

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

Explanations

She paused outside the door to the sitting room. She hadn't felt this nervous for years and it was hard to ignore the hammering of her heart. She took a deep breath, then opened the door. Akkarin was sitting by the fire, his long legs stretched out in front of him, staring into the flames. He looked up as she entered.

"Come and sit down," he said. "I'll get you some wine."

The fury, which he had shown down at the docks, seemed to have gone or was well hidden and she was pleased he was being friendly at least. She sat where he indicated and watched him as he opened the bottle and poured two large glasses. Unbidden, the memory of the last time she had truly seen him rose in her mind, lying still on the ground, a knife in his chest, his breathing harsh and laboured. Now, there was no sign of that injury in the man before her. He had discarded his jerkin and was dressed only in tight fitting trousers and a cream coloured shirt. The clothing emphasised the lean lines of his body and he moved with his usual athletic grace. He came over to her, holding out a glass and she stared at the way his long, elegant fingers wrapped round the stem. She felt her mouth grow dry.

She took the glass and hastily swallowed some wine. She felt its warmth spread through her body, relaxing her tight nerves a little, settling the fluttering in her belly. He sat down again and looked at her over the rim of his glass. She found his scrutiny difficult to bear. For weeks her whole existence had been centred on finding him again, and now she had, she was suddenly at a loss for something to say. He waited, obviously expecting her to speak first. She took another gulp of wine and licked her dry lips.

"You are looking very well, Akkarin," she managed eventually, inwardly cringing at the triteness of what she was saying.

"Thank you," he replied gravely.

It was the amusement in his eyes which stirred her into a more combative mood, "Are you going to explain everything to me or just make fun of me?" she asked sharply.

He said nothing, but the amusement faded from his gaze. He sipped the wine and stared into the flames for a moment. Then he looked at her again.

"Your magic has been affected," he said. "What happened?"

She found herself telling him everything that had happened to her after the struggle at the Guild gates. He listened silently, his eyes frequently on her face, the wine in his glass slowly disappearing as he continued to sip it. When she came to the end of her story, he stood up and came over to her.

"I would like to read your mind," he said softly. "Will you allow me?"

She nodded acceptance. He placed a hand against her temple and she watched his face as his eyes closed and it became a blank mask. She had no conscious sense of his presence in her mind, the interference with her magic prevented that. _So this is what it's like for ordinary people,_ she thought. _If they weren't told of it, they would never know a magician was walking through their mind, delving into their secrets, sorting through their memories._

His hand was removed and he returned to his seat, "Your magic source is covered with a fine layer, a weave of something almost like material. There are places where the layer is wearing thin, so that there are bright patches appearing, but it will be a while yet before you can access it properly."

He saw the expression on her face and added quickly, "It will disappear, have no worries. Your magic has not been harmed."

She felt a great sense of relief. Although Vinara had indicated that the blocking of her powers was temporary, deep in her heart, she had started to believe that the Healer had lied. It would have suited the Guild for her to be rendered harmless, unable to teach any other magician the secret of black magic.

"Thank you for that," she said, then added, trying for humour. "And did you find anything else interesting in there?"

"I didn't look further, Sonea. It's your magic and what's interfering with it that I needed to discover."

She didn't know whether to be sorry or glad that he hadn't explored further. She remembered her plea for him to truth-read her to prove she loved him and his dismissal of it. She realised that she had hoped he would read just how much he meant to her. Not for the first time, she wondered why he refused to do so, almost as if he were afraid to discover the truth.

"It's your turn now," she said pointedly. "Tell me everything."

"But first," he said almost cheerfully, "More wine."

He proceeded to replenish both their glasses, moving the bottle closer to hand, so he wouldn't have to get up to fetch it when they needed it again. Sonea suppressed a smile as she remembered what had happened between them in the past when wine had been drunk freely. She found herself hoping that the same circumstances would lead to the same outcome.

"I saw you fall, after the blast from the Ichani, but there was nothing I could do to help you. I had no strength, magical or physical. It is strange," he mused, "Once all hope is gone, the mind seems to reconcile itself to the inevitable. I saw my death and my only regret was that you were perhaps also facing the same thing."

He stared into the flames, his expression distant, as if he were reliving the events as he described them.

"The young Ichani ran with Kariko as soon as you had fallen. We were alone in front of the gates, I heard the sound of them opening and knew the Warriors would come. Then out of nowhere Takan appeared. He took me before the magicians came, there was no time to get you too."

"How did Takan heal you?" she asked. Ever since Cery had reminded her that the servant was not a magician, that part of it had always puzzled her.

"He took my knife, cut his arm and pressed my hand on to the cut. He kept telling me over and over to take strength and it seems my almost unconscious mind heard him. I started to feel the first trickling of fresh power begin to flow. It was enough to keep me alive until he could get me into a building and deal with my injuries properly."

"I knew Takan would save you if he could."

"He removed the knife and treated the wound. It was bad, but he made sure I took strength every day and then, of course, I could Heal myself."

"Did you know what happened to me?" Sonea waited, hardly daring to breathe, the answer he gave was very important to her.

"It was obvious that the Guild took you in. The Warriors were only moments away when Taken rescued me. I knew they would Heal you and you would be safe."

_Safe_, she thought bitterly. _Oh yes, physically safe, but at what cost?_

"You always wanted me back at the Guild, didn't you?" she said accusingly.

"You know what I intended," he replied tersely. "Your place was in the Guild, where you could be of use."

She was surprised to find that his words still had the power to hurt her. She knew, after all, just what he had planned.

"But later," she persisted, "After I found Takan, you knew I was in the city and looking for you, why did you stay hidden?"

He poured more wine as both their glasses were empty. He said nothing for a moment, staring once again into the flames, as if seeking inspiration. She knew that whatever he said next was perhaps the most important part of their discussion. She was half-afraid to hear it.

He sat back in the chair and looked directly at her, "I had work to do. Kariko and his companion are still here, somewhere. They remain hidden and I must seek them out and destroy them."

She stared at him, his words were not what she expected, "But I can help you. Once my magic is free of the drug, I can help you find and defeat Kariko once and for all!"

"I work better on my own, Sonea," he said baldly.

"That's not true and you know it!" she retorted. "We are a team and we fight well together. There's something else, something you are trying to hide from me." She swallowed the rest of her wine and refilled her glass. "If nothing else, be honest with me, Akkarin."

"Yes, you deserve honesty," he said in a low voice so she wasn't sure if he meant her to hear it.

"I told you once I was a tainted man, Sonea, and it's true. There are things in my past which…" He paused, a look of pain crossed his face and he emptied his glass with a long swallow. "…it has taken me years to learn to live with the choices I made, the actions I took and those I failed to take. That struggle wasn't easy and there are times when I feel it isn't over yet. You've seen some of the lingering effects in the nightmares that haunt me still. It's not right that I bring all this with me into a relationship with you. I can only bring unhappiness with me and why should you suffer because of what I've done?"

"So you will sacrifice me to pay a price for the things you have done, is that what you're telling me?" She could hear the sharpness in her tone and was grateful for it. The last thing she needed was to burst into tears, and yet, that was what she felt like doing.

She went on, "Let me see if I understand correctly. You feel bad about some things you have done and to make you feel better, you will abandon me without a backward glance, regardless of what I may feel about all this. I am a convenient price to pay to settle an old debt. That's what you're really saying, isn't it?"

For a brief moment, Akkarin's shock at her barbed words registered on his face, then the mask descended once again. "No, it's nothing like that. You're a young woman and circumstances forced you into a close relationship with someone you really didn't know all that well. Coping with trying to stay alive in the wastelands and dealing with those sent to kill us, have made us reliant on each other. It's only natural that you began to feel some sort of emotional attachment, but it's not real, Sonea, it's only circumstances which have made it seem so."

_The same old argument!_ _How can I shake some sense into him?_

"That won't do Akkarin," she said calmly. "You said all this before and I didn't believe it then and I don't now. You'll have to come up with a more convincing argument if you want me to give you up."

"You don't understand at all, Sonea."

There was something in his tone she hadn't heard before, something almost like anguish. He had turned his face away from her, so she couldn't see his expression, not that would necessarily have been of help as he was so good at hiding what he thought. She tried again.

"Then make me understand, Akkarin! Make me understand why you abandoned me, letting me think you were dead. Have you any idea what I've been going through, not knowing, but hoping, hoping so very much, that you were alive somewhere and I would find you? Having first Balkan, then Takan and finally Lorlen all telling me you were dead; reading the official Guild notices that told the city you were killed fighting with the Ichani so that people now think you are a traitor as well as a disgraced magician. Have you any real idea what that made me feel?"

"Sometimes it's better to feel a short, sharp pain now, than a longer, more terrible one later," he said softly, his face still turned from her.

She felt she could almost explode with the force of her emotions, anger, frustration, sadness, all these welled up inside her as she fought to remain calm. This was an argument she had to win, otherwise he would disappear again and, she knew full well, she probably wouldn't be able to find him again.

She got up and began pacing up and down the room, keeping her breathing even, using one of Yikmo's mental exercises to keep herself under control. She needed time so she could marshal her arguments; time to bring her emotions under firm control. She scrabbled to find something, anything. Then an idea for prolonging their discussion came to her suddenly.

"I'm hungry, is there any chance of some food?" she asked, knowing that Takan would have something almost ready in the kitchen.

Akkarin looked at her, then smiled briefly, "Oh Sonea," he said, "You are so transparent. Of course there's food, I have asked Takan to bring some."

_Blasted mind reading!_ she thought crossly, but she smiled her thanks sweetly.

It didn't take long for Takan to work his own type of magic and soon the table was groaning under the weight of many different dishes from warm savouries, to scrumptious looking desserts. They sat down and began to sample the food. She noticed that Akkarin ate sparingly, but to her surprise, she found she actually was hungry and began to eat with a will. There was silence for a while, then Akkarin murmured that as she had obviously a lot to say, perhaps she would talk as well as eat.

She put down her knife and fork and took a sip of wine. "Many times," she started carefully, "You've said I am young and therefore, you imply, I don't really know what I'm talking about. But I'm twenty years old, an age at which many in the Houses are married and parents of children. I know what I feel and I know what I want. It's very simple as far as I'm concerned. I want to be with you. Nothing you can ever say will change that for me. Yes, you can disappear; you can run away from me and hide, but you won't change the fact that I love you now, and I always will."

Akkarin sighed, "You deserve more than what I can give you. Takan didn't lie to you. Akkarin, the High Lord, Akkarin of Family Delvon, House Velan, Akkarin the magician, whatever he was called, he is gone. He was a casualty of war. History will say he was a rogue magician who was killed by the Guild when he led a band of foreign magicians in an attempt to capture it. When Kariko has been destroyed, I shall leave Imardin. I don't know where I will go, or what I shall do, but I can't take you with me. It would not be right."

"There's nothing here for me," she exclaimed. "I'll go with you, I don't care where."

"You have the Guild, Sonea. They will take you back gladly. If you agree to do what they want, you will be treated well and the knowledge you have will be of use to them if the Ichani try again."

"If I go back, they'll make me say untrue things about you," she whispered, feeling the tears she had been fighting so long fill her eyes. "Balkan will expect me to agree with their version of what happened, agree to blacken your name and hear you reviled by all of them, when I know what you have really done. I can't do it."

The tears started to run down her cheeks and she quickly covered her face with her hands. Everything she had been feeling since the battle suddenly overwhelmed her and she gave in to it. Her battle for control was lost. Her shoulders began to shake as the tears became a torrent and she could no longer prevent herself from sobbing. She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, then, somehow, she was in his arms, soaking his chest with her tears. His arms were around her, holding her against him as he stroked her hair. She heard him whisper her name and she smiled through her tears because this was how it should be. She raised her head to look at him. He was looking down at her, a small frown creasing his forehead. She wound her arms around his neck and pulled his face down to meet hers. Their lips met and the now familiar taste of Anuran Dark wrapped itself around her tongue.

They stayed in a close embrace for a while, then Akkarin picked her up and took her over to a banquette that stood against the far wall. He sat down and arranged it so that she was lying along it, with her head in his lap. He continued to stroke her hair and when she would have spoken, he laid a gentle finger across her lips. So she remained silent, simply watching his face, wondering what he was thinking. After a while, he began to speak.

"When you came to live in the Residence, I had no idea what would happen. I assumed that you would merely be a hostage to keep the others quiet. That would allow me to continue my work uninterrupted and things would go on exactly as they had in the past. Then I began to know you, to see you as an individual, rather than an inconvenient Novice I was burdened with. I started to see you clearly for what you are, a passionate, beautiful woman, someone I could happily spend my life with."

She stared up at him, scarcely believing what she was hearing. _He loves me!_ she thought. _He really loves me!_

"Then you became involved with my work," he went on. "You learned what you had to learn in order to help me. We worked well together and I almost came to believe we were meant for each other. But I knew that could never be. I was determined you would never know what I felt. Besides, I knew you disliked me."

He smiled, remembering perhaps some of the bitter things she had said to him in the early days.

"Then you disrupted all my carefully laid plans and ended up in exile with me. Spending every day and night alone with you was a particular torture. It became worse when I noticed you staring at me when you thought I wasn't watching and I knew you were beginning to have some sort of feelings for me. I tried everything to stop you, but nothing seemed to have any effect. When you kissed me, I don't know how I prevented myself from taking you there and then. Later on, you enticed me into making that bargain with you and we became lovers."

He paused again, and she didn't dare to say anything in case it spoilt the mood.

"I told myself it would get it out of your system and mine. That you would have what you wanted and realise it was not right and that would be that." He laughed humourlessly, "How wrong I was! It was good, very good and you wanted more. I wanted more. Then I told myself that the struggle with the Ichani would probably end with my death, so there was no harm in remaining lovers in the meantime. I did everything I could to keep you away from the main battle, but of course, you ignored my instructions and we both know what happened next. Then it struck me, we had been separated by events. You were in the Guild and I was in the city. If I could disappear, you would be free of me. I warned Takan that you might find him and told him what to say. That seemed to be that."

"Then, one day, I heard my name called. I thought it was you, but I couldn't see anyone nearby. Not long after that, I went into a bolhouse and found you on the verge of being raped by a drunken sailor. It seems the Eye keeps putting you in my path. Every time I think I have succeeded in getting you free of me, you appear again."

"You were furious with me," she said, "I could see it clearly."

"Yes, I was, furious that you had somehow found your way back into my life. I care for you too much to want you to spend the rest of your life with someone who will only make you unhappy."

She scrambled up until she was sitting in his lap and looking directly into his eyes. "Stop saying that! It isn't true. Let yourself love me, don't fight it. We can do so much together, we don't need the Guild and it certainly doesn't want us." She kissed him softly, "Let us be lovers for the rest of our lives…."

His arms closed around her and he whispered, "Yes, let us be lovers."

He stood and picked her up. The door opened with a little magic and he went swiftly upstairs and into a large room with the biggest bed she had seen for quite a while. He laid her down gently and stood for a moment smiling down at her, before slipping off his shirt and sliding on to the bed next to her. She turned towards him with open arms and took him into her embrace.


	35. Another Promise

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**Another Promise**

Sonea lay without moving, her eyes closed, but very much awake. She had lain like this for some time, concentrating only on reliving the memories of the night just past. She had never been happier. She finally opened her eyes. The room was beginning to grow lighter as the sun rose, so she could see that the rest of the bed was empty and she was alone. She had not slept very much, her mind refusing to relax, but despite that, she wasn't tired. Earlier, she had watched Akkarin as he slept, still undecided if she liked him better with or without a beard. It had grown almost as much as the one he'd had on their journey and she had fought the desire to run her fingers through it. She knew from past experience, that it was soft, almost as silky as his hair. She remembered her sadness at having to cut his hair and wondered what had become of the lock she had stolen. It had disappeared along with her clothing when she'd been taken by the Guild. Surely they would have guessed whose hair it was?

That had started another train of thought. Could they use the hair as a means of tracing Akkarin? She'd frantically tried to think back to some of her lessons. Was there something about hair she should remember? But nothing came to her. _I suppose I'll have to confess what happened to Akkarin_, she'd decided and wondered how she could do it without embarrassment. But would the Guild actually want Akkarin now? They had publicised the fiction of his death, so it would be rather difficult to reveal they had him back. _They want him for his knowledge, that's all,_ she thought. After they had that, he would be worthless to them and they would execute him, using his return from exile as the justification.

She wondered when Akkarin had left their bed. It must have been during one of the times when she had dozed off, because she had no memory of his leaving. She ran her hands over the place where he'd been lying. It was cold with no hint of warmth. For a moment, she had a feeling of panic. _What if he's gone again? _Then she remembered the passionate lovemaking they had shared only a few hours before. For the first time, she knew without a doubt that he loved her. The defences he had put up against her in the past were all laid flat and he was open to her in a way he had never been before. _Not lust after all,_ she thought, a delicious warm feeling filling her at the memory of what they had shared.

She stretched, running her hands down her body, remembering how Akkarin's pale slim hands had done the same many times. She smiled to herself, looking forward to the next time he came to her bed. She was pulled from her daydream by a knock at the door, then she heard Takan's voice wishing her a good morning. She sat up and pulled the bedclothes around her before calling for him to come in. The servant was carrying a welcome mug of raka, which he placed carefully by the bed.

"There's a bath of warm water for you in the room next door," he said. "When you've finished, come down, there's food waiting."

Sonea took plenty of time over her bath. It seemed such a long time since her last one. The water was warm and the soap, perfumed with some floral scent, was just how she liked it. Eventually, she had to get out of the water and dress herself, it wouldn't do to be late for a meal and risk upsetting the cook. She went downstairs to find Takan had laid out an appetising breakfast. There was no sign of Akkarin, but she didn't want to wait because the air was filled with that lovely warm bread smell which caused her mouth to water. There were crocks of honey, jam and butter; plates of cheese and ham, in short, everything a hungry person would require to break their night's fast.

She was eating her third roll when Akkarin returned. She heard him first in the passageway, talking to Takan. Then the door opened and he came in wishing her a cheery good morning. She could tell he was in a very good mood and told herself that the previous night's activities had obviously agreed with him. But as he began to speak, she had to revise that opinion. It seemed his good mood was to do with possibly finding where Kariko was hiding. Still, she wasn't going to let that spoil her own mood!

She stared at him as he sat down. Today, he was dressed as a relatively prosperous seaman. She noticed he had even put in a traditional gold earring, something she'd never seen him wear before. His hair, although still short by his former standards, had started to grow and tended to fall forward when he bent his head. She hoped he wouldn't cut it short again. She preferred to run her fingers through long locks; they were particularly useful for tugging his face closer to her own.

"…..Sonea…?"

She suddenly became aware that he'd been talking to her and she hadn't heard a word. The colour rushed into her cheeks as she caught sight of his grin.

"You're staring at me again, Sonea," he said softly.

She smiled, "I like to look at you and I have several days worth of looking to catch up on."

He helped himself to bread and cheese. Takan reappeared, bringing him a hot drink. He wasn't fond of raka, preferring the more subtle flavour of tea, especially first thing in the morning. Sonea watched him, fascinated by his movements. _This is silly_, she told herself. _He's just a man eating breakfast! _But she knew that wasn't really true and she would never tire of just watching him, whatever he was doing.

"Tell me what you've found out," she said eventually, conscious that she'd been staring too long.

"Kariko and his companion are hiding somewhere in the North Quarter. My sources have seen the younger one several times. It seems likely that Kariko was severely injured as no one has seen anything of him."

Akkarin talking of his sources suddenly made her think of Cery, "Oh!" she exclaimed, putting a hand to her mouth, "I haven't told Cery where I am or what I'm doing. He'll think something's happened to me. I must see him or send him a message."

"It would be better to simply disappear, Sonea."

For a moment she was tempted, then she remembered her own pain and sense of loss when Akkarin vanished, "No, I can't do that, it isn't right. Cery provided a safe place for me to live. He helped me look for you and freely gave me food, clothing and anything else I wanted. It wouldn't be right to let him think something bad has happened to me."

"I'll send a message, Sonea. Don't worry, he'll know you're safe."

For a moment, she wanted to argue, to say she needed to see him to explain everything, but then she realised that Akkarin was right. It would do no good to meet Cery and tell him she was going with Akkarin, wherever that might be. He'd only try to persuade her to stay and she didn't want to deal with all that again. It would be enough for him to know she was all right. She nodded her agreement and poured some more raka.

"What will you do about Kariko?" she asked.

"I must finish him. He can't be left here. There have been some deaths in the North Quarter already. Only one or two so far, but once he is fully recovered, there will be more. He'll send for more of his magicians to join him and make new plans to attack the Guild. Once he is finished and his companion with him, we can leave the city."

She thrilled to hear the 'we'. There would be no more resistance to her joining him in whatever future he planned, she knew that now, but it was still good to hear him say it. She began to think how best to trap an Ichani in the city when she suddenly remembered her lack of magic. She made an involuntary sound of frustration and when Akkarin looked at her enquiringly, said ruefully, "My magic is still blocked. I tried several things this morning while I was having my bath, but nothing worked. I can't help you fight him yet."

"Don't force it, Sonea. It will return as good as ever once the drug is out of your system. From what I could see, they gave you a strong dose, so it'll take time, but like most Healers' potions, it can't be interfered with or hurried."

She nodded miserably, "You will wait, won't you? Don't go after him alone."

"You don't seem to have much faith in my abilities," he said, his face expressionless, so she couldn't decide if he were teasing her or not.

"It's not that," she protested, "But we're better together and there are two of them to deal with. That young one appeared from nowhere. I hadn't seen him before and he's strong, very strong."

"We must find them before we do anything else. That's our first task. We know the area, now we must find the place."

"Are the Thieves still helping?"

He shook his head, "No. I have had no contact with Cery or his men since the day of the battle. I don't intend to, either. I have a different set of informants who think they are looking for someone who owes money to a sea captain." He pointed to his earring and the rest of his clothing, "That's the reason for all this."

She wondered why he had not contacted Cery, then she realised it was to do with his idea of simply vanishing from her life. He couldn't have trusted Cery not to tell her. She mentally breathed a sigh of relief that she had chanced upon him near the docks. If she hadn't, she would never have tracked him down and he would have disappeared from her life forever.

When breakfast was over, they briefly discussed what they would do that day. Akkarin suggested that she take some of the streets in the North Quarter to see if she could find the Ichani. They looked over the map and decided on who would take which streets. As she looked at the map, she remembered her meeting with Lorlen. He might be able to help.

"I could meet Lorlen, he said he was always in the city, he will be able to help us search…."

"No!" Akkarin interrupted. "You are not to go anywhere near Lorlen, do you understand?"

His voice was filled with command, the High Lord had reappeared, and she looked at him in astonishment. His expression was grim as he looked intently at her.

"Why….?" was as far as she got before he went on, "There must be no contact at all with anyone connected with the Guild. I am dead and I wish to remain that way."

"Lorlen wouldn't betray us," she said indignantly.

"How long could he resist a truth-read?" Akkarin said. "No, there must be no meeting with Lorlen or anyone else involved with the Guild. Do you understand? Now, I want you to promise me you won't go near him."

"I promise," she said in a quiet voice. "I promise."


	36. Broken Word

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**Broken Word**

A faint glow flickered into a brief existence before dying, leaving the room dimly lit only by the first rays of the rising sun. Sonea wiped the beads of sweat from her brow. Another failure! She had tried to make a globelight twenty one times this morning, and each attempt had failed. Her best effort had lasted five seconds before winking out.

She took a sip from the glass of water on the table and composed herself to try again.

_Why bother?_ her mind said slyly, _You will never be able to use your magic again… _She was beginning to find it harder and harder not to listen to that insinuating whisper. She was afraid that she was starting to believe it. She had tried to raise her concerns with Akkarin, but he simply repeated his advice to let things take their course. She kept on badgering him to enter her mind and examine her magic source and once or twice he had had done so rather reluctantly. His answer was always the same; that there were thinning patches of the weave covering the source and with time, all would be well.

Her twenty-second globelight followed its predecessors into oblivion. She had chosen this method to test her magic because it was one of the first things a young novice learned. It was so simple to do, that the Novices' Quarters were often filled with hundreds of globelights, especially on the floor allocated to the youngest novices. They had even been known to have globelight fights, where the aim was to knock your opponent's globelight out of a ring! Briefly, she wondered if she should try another spell, but soon dismissed that idea. _If I can't make a globelight…_

Later, while endeavouring to hide from Takan that she didn't want to eat any of his breakfast offerings, she tried to think how she might find someone to help with her difficulties. Akkarin was close to becoming very impatient with her impatience to be a fully functioning magician again. She could tell he didn't want to spend time rummaging around in her mind and he was not particularly confident in his own Healing skills to want to meddle with the operation of the drug. She needed advice from someone who was.

_Lorlen…._her mind whispered, _He would help you..._

The promise she'd made only a few days before loomed large in her mind. She tried to remember the exact wording of it. She was a dwell, after all, and they had a way with making promises which could be bent and changed into something else. She had promised not to have any contact with anyone in the Guild. _Why? Akkarin had a reason, what was it? _She mentally replayed her conversation with Akkarin. _That was it! _He didn't want anyone in the Guild to know he was still alive. _If I can get help from Lorlen, without telling him about Akkarin, then I'm not really breaking my promise, my real promise, to keep Akkarin's survival secret!_

She was glad that Akkarin, as usual, was not at breakfast. He always disappeared before first light and usually didn't return until later in the morning. If he'd been sitting across the table from her, he would have read her surface thoughts and would not have been pleased, to put it mildly.

They had agreed between them to make a systematic search of the back streets and courts of the North Quarter. It didn't sound a huge task, but that particular Quarter was riddled with narrow lanes, streets and passages. Many of these rather disreputable streets contained courts, small open areas or yards, surrounded by buildings. They were originally the gardens of larger houses, but over time, as the city had become more and more crowded, they had been built over, often with poorly constructed structures. These flimsy buildings had themselves been added to over the years resulting in an overcrowded area full of higgledy-piggledy buildings which concealed many potential hiding places. Every evening they identified particular routes that each would cover the next day, so she had her task for today. There was no reason to wait for Akkarin to return, she could leave as soon as she liked. She looked at the table; she had merely crumbled a bread roll or two and dug her knife in the butter, to make it look as if she had eaten. It would not fool Takan long, but perhaps just long enough for her to leave.

She grabbed her cloak, shouted a goodbye to Takan and left the house. She had resumed male clothing, as a single woman walking along some of the more disreputable areas attracted too much attention. She had also taken to wearing an apprentice's felt cap, which covered her curly hair. Its wide brim also provided shading for her face, so she was confident that her identity would not be known.

She hurried to the North Quarter. She had around eight narrow back streets and three courts to search. If she worked quickly, she could seek out Lorlen around mid-day, and still be able to get back home at her usual time. However, it took her much longer than she had anticipated and it was well past mid-day when she started towards the square in the South Quarter where she had first seen Lorlen.

The square was deserted, with only the raka seller and a couple of people sitting on the bench. There was no cheerful Healer present. She remembered that he'd said people knew him, so she looked for a likely person who might direct her to where Lorlen worked. After a few minutes, she caught sight of a young boy, playing in the gutter. After a little conversation, and the passing over of a copper coin, the child agreed to take her to the Healer's place of work.

It was only a few minutes from the square, a brightly painted building with a large sign showing a Guild Healer. It didn't look anything like Lorlen, but would advertise his business for those who couldn't read the neatly lettered sign giving his name and occupation which was attached to the door. The child pointed at the door and scampered off, clutching his coin tightly.

Sonea walked over to the door and stood looked at it for a moment. It was not too late to turn away and keep her promise not to have any contact with anyone from the Guild. Mentally she shrugged; she was here now, convinced she was doing the right thing, there were no other options. She raised a hand, knocked at the door and slowly pushed it open. The room inside was clean and freshly painted. There were benches around the wall and another door leading off somewhere. There were no people waiting to see the Healer, nor any sign of Lorlen. Sonea went and sat down. Perhaps he would come out to see who had opened the door?

Minutes passed with no sound of movement within the house. She didn't know what to do, should she go through the other door or not? What stopped her was the notion that perhaps Lorlen didn't work alone and there may be other Healers within. She continued to sit on the bench. She would wait until she heard the bell toll the quarter-hour, if Lorlen hadn't come by then, she would go.

Just as she was getting ready to leave, the street door opened and Lorlen came in. He had obviously been out to see a patient because he was carrying his Healer's Pack. He saw her sitting there and said, "Sorry there was no one here when you arrived, but I'm back now and can see you straight away. Follow me."

He went through the other door and when Sonea followed, she found herself in a smaller room, set out like the Healers' rooms in the Guild, with shelves full of potions and medicines. Lorlen turned to her with a smile, "Now tell me what's the matter."

He obviously hadn't recognised her! She suppressed a giggle, then removed her hat. She heard his grunt of surprise as he realised who she was.

"Sonea, what on earth are you doing here?" he said sharply, "Don't you understand people are still looking for you?"

"You told me to come to you if I needed help," she said hesitantly, "Don't you remember?"

"Yes, but I thought you'd be more sensible. You should leave Imardin, today if you can. The sooner you are away from here the better."

"Don't you want to know why I've come?" she asked pointedly.

Lorlen's face coloured slightly as he registered her tone, "Yes, yes of course," he replied quickly, "What is it?"

She told him about the drug Vinara had put in her food and drink and how her magic had been blocked. "It's still affecting me," she went on, "I can't even make a globelight. I need you to give me something to get rid of it."

Lorlen didn't say anything straight away. He stared at the bottles and packets on the shelves as if seeking inspiration. Then he glanced over to her, apology written on his face.

"I'm sorry, Sonea. I don't have any clear knowledge of how the drug works. It wasn't used much when I was a Healer before and then, all those years I was Administrator, I had nothing to do with drugs or medicines. I don't know how to deal with it."

She couldn't hide her disappointment. Tears sprang into her eyes and she blinked them away, hoping he hadn't seen. All her hopes had been pinned on Lorlen. She'd imagined he would take down a pill or powder, weave a Healing spell and everything would be right again.

"Are you sure?" she asked, "There's nothing you can do?"

"Well," he hesitated a moment, before speaking quickly, "If I could enter your mind, I could see exactly what it is and perhaps that would be enough to enable me to find something to help."

It was her turn to hesitate. If Lorlen entered her mind, there was no knowing what he would discover. She remembered with horror what had happened the last time he had been rummaging around in her mind, all the problems Akkarin had had since then had arisen because Lorlen read her mind. And it might not work! Lorlen had not been overly confident about finding a cure, he only said he would try. The risk she faced was that he would discover from her that Akkarin lived and that she was with him. _Does that matter? _she asked herself. _Lorlen is his friend. He would not betray us, not this time. Not after all that's happened._

Lorlen was staring at her, wondering why she hadn't agreed. She had to say something and soon. So far, she had kept to the spirit of her promise, if not to the letter, but once Lorlen saw into her mind, everything would be broken and she would have betrayed Akkarin's trust. _I'm doing this because I have to help Akkarin and I can't do that hampered by lack of magic_, she told herself fiercely, her mind made up.

"Yes, Lorlen, of course," she said, firmly.


	37. Second Thoughts

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**Second Thoughts**

Lorlen instructed Sonea to sit in a nearby chair. Once she was comfortable, he came over and stood slightly to one side of her. He raised his hand, ready to place it against her temple. As he did so, Sonea came to her senses.

"Stop!" she cried. "You can't do it!"

He stared at her in surprise and she realised he had forgotten too.

"Black magic," she said quietly, "If you enter my mind, you will learn black magic. You must not."

Lorlen grew pale, "How could I forget that?" He shook his head slowly. "After all that's happened, how could I forget?"

"It's my fault, Lorlen. I just didn't think." She shrugged, " I been so concerned with the effects of the drug and how to get rid of it, everything else faded to the back of my mind. I'll just have to be patient and wait for it to wear off, it's just that I really need my magic and I need it now."

She saw that he was looking at her with a question in his eyes. "There are still Ichani in the city, Lorlen." This time the expression in his eyes was one of disbelief.

"Surely that can't be so," he said earnestly. "The Guild would not leave any of the invaders free to do what mischief they wish. The city is quiet; there has been no indication that rogue magicians are still here. The Warriors on patrol are looking for you, not foreign black magicians. You must be mistaken, Sonea."

She found it touching that despite all that had happened, and everything she'd told him the last time they had met, Lorlen still had faith in the Guild. In many ways she envied him. She had completely lost her faith and it was surprisingly painful, but she would never, never again trust the Guild and any of its magicians, save for the one standing in front of her.

"There are at least two of them," she explained. "One was badly injured in the fighting outside the gates. He was carried away by another just before the Warriors came out. They are still in the city, believe me, Lorlen. We know roughly where in the city, but not the exact place."

"We?" he said slowly.

"I mean I….I know where they are," she said hastily, but it was too late and she found she had betrayed Akkarin after all.

Lorlen opened a cupboard and produced a bottle and two cups. He poured the wine and thrust a cup in her direction. "I think you'd better tell me the truth, all of it mind, not just those bits you think I ought to know."

She took a hasty gulp and savoured the warm glow it created as she swallowed. She took another, then looked at Lorlen, still strange to her eyes in his bright green Healer's robes. "We, that is Akkarin and I, we know the general area and we are searching for their hiding place."

Lorlen expelled his breath in a loud sigh, "He's alive, then." It wasn't a question and Sonea sensed great feelings of relief in Lorlen's reaction.

"Yes, I found him again, after I saw you in the square." She couldn't prevent her happiness from colouring her tone and saw that Lorlen heard it clearly. "We have this last task to do; to kill the remaining Ichani. Then we will go away. You won't see us again."

She held her breath, not knowing what Lorlen would do next. To her surprise, he abruptly left the room and was gone for a few moments. When he returned, he said, "I've locked my door so we won't be disturbed. You'd better tell me everything."

He produced another chair and sat beside her, regarding her calmly with a steady gaze as she did what he asked. She told him about finding Akkarin down by the docks and that they were staying together in the city. She explained about Kariko and what she had learned from Cery about the one or two deaths, which bore the hallmarks of a black magic attack. Finally, she described the search being made for the invaders and why regaining her use of magic was so important.

"I need to be able to help Akkarin, otherwise he may not be able to finish Kariko off. He nearly killed Akkarin the last time, and I can't risk him going after the Ichani alone. You do see, don't you Lorlen?"

Lorlen was silent for a moment, then he asked, "Akkarin has seen the effects of the drug in your mind?"

"Yes."

"Then it's simple. I'll come with you and get him to read your mind and tell me exactly what he sees. Then I can tell him what to do, without having to go there myself. There's a good chance we can deal with the problem that way."

He looked at her with a smile, pleased he'd found a solution, but she frowned at him. She hadn't told him of her promise to Akkarin and now she found herself reluctant to confess she had broken her word.

He noticed her hesitation, "What is it?" Then he answered his own question, "Akkarin doesn't know you've come to see me, does he?"

"It's worse than that," she whispered. "I made him a promise not to have any contact with you or any member of the Guild. I promised no one should know he was still alive and in the city."

"Oh, Sonea," Lorlen said sympathetically, "What a muddle you've created."

Much to her embarrassment, the warm sympathy in Lorlen's tone caused tears to flood her eyes. She tried to brush them away quickly, and blinked furiously. This didn't prevent them from spilling down her cheeks.

She reached for a handkerchief to wipe her face, "I don't know what's the matter with me," she tried for a laugh, but failed dismally, "I seem to spend a lot of time weeping these days. I'm either deliriously happy or ready to sob as if my heart is breaking and the worst thing is, I never know which I'm going to be from one minute to another."

"That's not like you at all," Lorlen replied, his Healers' training taking over, "Perhaps you're not well."

He took hold of her hand and concentrated for a moment, "Yes, there are signs of…something. May I examine you more deeply?"

Gaining her acceptance, he took her other hand as well, and closed his eyes. She knew he was delving into her body with that strange ability all qualified Healers possessed. She imaged him looking at her blood, to see how well it flowed, and examining her organs, perhaps watching the pulsating beat of her heart. She looked at his face; it was full of concentration as his magic explored every part of her, except her mind.

Lorlen opened his eyes, and smiled at her, "I've found the culprit," he said cheerfully. "You have nothing really to worry about, at least not for several months yet."

She stared at him mystified, _What on earth did he mean?_

He took pity on her, "You are pregnant, Sonea. You're going to have a baby."

If she hadn't already been sitting down, she would have fallen to the floor in shock. It was the last thing she would ever have thought of. _Pregnant? How? _Well, obviously she knew how, but when? And why hadn't she realised? "How long have I been pregnant?" she asked, her voice quavering.

"Not long," he said, looking at her closely, "What's wrong?"

She searched for the right words to express the tumult of her emotions. A child, a son perhaps, just like Akkarin! At another time, in other circumstances, she probably would have been dancing round the room, but now, with the Ichani loose, her magic blocked and the father of her child soon to engage in another fight to the death, Lorlen's news couldn't have been worse. He was still looking at her, waiting for her answer.

"It's such a shock," she managed at last, "I don't know what to say."

It was Lorlen's turn to frown, "You must have expected it, Sonea. After all, you are well aware of how to prevent such things until the time is right." He noticed the puzzlement on her face. "Surely you were taught the spell, the one to prevent pregnancy, weren't you?

She felt the colour creep over her cheeks. What a conversation to be having with Lorlen of all people. "I don't remember! Why didn't Akkarin say something!"

"It's the woman's responsibility, Sonea, not the man's. He would assume you were taking the proper steps. Didn't you pay attention in your classes? When I was a novice, we seemed to have lessons on this subject several times a year!"

"Well I didn't!" she said sharply. It was too late to have a deep discussion about what she might or might not have learned.

"All right," Lorlen said soothingly. "It doesn't matter now. Anyway, it certainly accounts for your emotions. Some expectant mothers spend the whole time weeping in corners or throwing plates at their men folk, and others are not affected at all. It seems you're one of the ones subject to mood changes. They'll be quite frequent for the next few months, so you'd better get used to them and don't forget to warn Akkarin."

_Akkarin! _How was she going to tell him? She knew exactly what he would say and do! Once he knew about the child, there'd be no chance of her going after Kariko. He would try to keep her well away from any fighting. It was bad enough before, when it was just her own safety he was worried about, if he knew about the child he would probably keep her under guard!

"I can't tell Akkarin," she said. "You must promise me not to tell him either."

There was another strange look from Lorlen. _He must think I am mad_, she thought. _Or perhaps he thinks it's someone else's child._ She tried to explain, "If he knows, he won't let me help him and I'm afraid he won't be able to do it on his own."

"Well," the Healer said reluctantly, "I can't make you reveal your pregnancy and it's not my place to tell him. However I can't approve of your decision. He'll have to know some time and the longer you put it off, the harder it will be. Equally, I can't approve of your going off to fight some powerful black magician, especially with your emotions in such a fragile state. Have you considered that you might pose an even greater threat to Akkarin in that condition, than letting him fight on his own?"

"That's not true," she said sharply. "Do you think I would let anything prevent me from fighting the Ichani with all my might? From defending Akkarin if he needed it? What sort of a person do you think I am?"

As the words left her mouth, she realised it would be a bad mistake to quarrel with Lorlen. He was her only hope to get rid of the effects of the drug quickly. Hopefully he would put her sharp tone down to her emotional problems.

"Look," she said more gently, "Akkarin worries about my safety. If he knew I was with child, he would worry even more. You said I haven't been pregnant long, so the baby won't interfere with my ability to fight for months yet. Once the Ichani are finished, I'll tell him. I promise."

She was conscious that her record in keeping promises was not good at the moment and hoped that the same thought didn't occur to Lorlen. It looked as if it hadn't because he nodded his head in agreement.

"All right, Sonea. You know your own affairs best. Now what are we going to do about your magic?"

She smiled suddenly, "You're right about the muddle I've created. I've broken my promise to Akkarin by coming here and telling you everything. He's going to be very angry with me…again. As far as he's concerned, I'm still his… how did he put it? Oh yes, his half-trained, disobedient Novice. You wouldn't believe how angry he was with me for refusing my judgement and going into exile with him! In fact, he spent a lot of the time we were in the wastelands being angry with me."

Lorlen laid a gentle hand on her arm, "Are you afraid of him, Sonea?"

"No," she said softly, "I'm only afraid of driving him away from me. I love him so much and I can't bear to think of life without him."

"But does he love you, Sonea?"

"You asked me that before, and I can only say what I said then, I don't know. But, it doesn't make any difference to me and I'll never allow myself to be separated from him."

"You have a choice, you know. You could walk out of here and back to him, never mentioning you came to see me. Time will deal with your magic problem. There's no need to make him angry."

"It's too late Lorlen. He will read it in my thoughts. No, I'll take you back with me and face the trouble that'll bring. And on the way, perhaps you can tell me how to explain what I've done in such a way that he'll only be a little angry with me!"


	38. Sonea's Puzzle

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**Sonea's Puzzle.**

For the first few minutes of her journey back to her lodgings, Sonea had been in an ebullient mood. Lorlen and Akkarin working together once again would solve her problem and she would be fully fit and able to perform her tasks as a black magician once more. She was walking several steps in front of the Healer, rather than by his side, just in case someone would see them together and remember, perhaps causing trouble for Lorlen in the future. She felt free of a tremendous burden, filled with the knowledge that everything was going to be all right. Her magic would return and she would be whole again. She almost felt like dancing along the dusty streets, regardless of what passers-by might think.

But as she got nearer to the docks area, her mood began to change and uncertainty flooded into her mind. It was all too true that Akkarin would be angry at her for once again disobeying his orders. This time, it was different however, because she had made him a solemn promise. She had always previously countered his arguments about joining him in exile and following him back to Imardin by saying it was as a result of her promise to Takan. She had repeatedly told him how important that promise was to her, that she could never break it and using it as total justification for all her actions.

Now, she was foresworn. There was no other way of describing it. She could now be accused, with complete justification, of being someone who simply used promises to support whatever action she thought she should make. Yes, Akkarin would be furious with her. _But I can cope with that_, she thought quickly. _He has been angry with me for days and I've coped with it. _She told herself that he would come round, especially after her magic was fixed, but deep down, she was afraid.

The man she had fallen in love with was a complicated person, to say the least. She had lived in his Residence for years without understanding him and, if she were honest, not making any attempt to do so! She had only gradually begun to see beyond his calm, distant mask in brief flashes, until, eventually, she understood what he was doing and why. So she had thrown herself into learning forbidden magic because she understood the danger of not stopping the Ichani, not because she had at last discovered the 'real' Akkarin. She had followed him because of her promise and because she wanted him to live. But none of that meant she knew him well. The Akkarin she knew was only the surface Akkarin. She was sure, too, that that was all the rest knew of him, Lorlen included. What went on deep inside him was a closed book she was no nearer to opening than she'd been in the beginning. He had secrets still, and had shown no desire to share them with her. What had happened to him during his time as a slave could only be guessed at. That it had been a time of physical punishment and deprivation was to be expected, but she was sure that something else had befallen him then, something which still drove him and coloured his approach to the events life through at him; something which profoundly affected the way he felt about her.

The knowledge that Akkarin had secrets gnawed away at her constantly. She would listen intently to anything he said relating to his earlier life, not daring to question in case that led to his refusing to say anything at all. These nuggets of information were few and far between. _If I write them down, they would scarcely cover a quarter of a page,_ she thought. She was willing to share her whole being with him, body and mind, hopes and dreams, hurts and suffering. Why wouldn't he do the same? But she knew it was no good. He would not and she couldn't make him.

"Sonea, is something wrong?"

Lorlen's voice came from just behind her and she realised that her steps had slowed, reducing the distance between them. She shook her head and quickened her pace. The sooner they faced Akkarin the better.

Her mind returned to the puzzle that was her lover. He had such a firm hold on his emotions, she was never sure exactly what he felt about things. Their lovemaking was passionate, but he was always in control somehow. There were no whispered words full of emotion slipping out, unintended, at the moment of climax. No softly spoken confidences in the warm glow of the aftermath. She couldn't really fault him as a lover. He took care that she received pleasure from his caresses and he certainly took pleasure in her body. He could be tender, holding her close, his arms wrapped around her, as she drifted off to sleep listening to the sound of his heartbeat. He could be demanding as he took control of her body, pushing it to ever-higher levels of pleasure. But she still had not heard the three magic words she longed to hear. She still didn't know if he loved her. She suspected he might, she hoped he did, but she didn't know. It was slowly eating away at her and driving her mad!

And now, there was to be a child; a secret of her own to keep. She wasn't sure how long she would be able to hide it from him. He could read her thoughts all too easily and, she realised, he knew her much better than she knew him. But hide it she must, at least until they had finished their task and left Imardin. Then, she could almost see the small country cottage where they would live, studying magic together and watching their child grow. She could imagine their life in a comfortable little village somewhere, with a few friends and good times. The problem was, she could not clearly see Akkarin in such a rural idyll. He had always been a man of action, whether as a Warrior, or a leader of men and to think of him settling down to a country life was almost impossible to imagine.

She gave herself a mental shake. That rural idyll was far off. Now she had to deal with the consequences of her defiance of his orders. Lorlen had asked if she was afraid of him. She hadn't lied when she had said she wasn't. She had no fear that Akkarin would beat her, but she was afraid he would withdraw himself from her. Leave her, either physically or mentally, so that she would no longer be able to feel part of his life. Yes, she was truly afraid of that. And, she was sure he could do it. He had the self-discipline to cut himself off from others and follow his own path. He had done it as High Lord and he would have done it with her if she hadn't prevented it by measures that wouldn't work again. She had seduced him into showing a little of his feelings for her. It was her actions alone which had led to their becoming lovers. If she hadn't made the first overtures, he would never have imposed himself on her, regardless of how strongly he felt about her. If he withdrew from her now, she couldn't hope to bring him back to her by offering herself again. He was strong enough not to let himself be seduced for a second time.

_If I live a hundred years_, she thought, _I will never get to the bottom of what makes him tick. But oh, the joy of trying! I could happily spend the rest of my life trying to understand the puzzle that is Akkarin._

They had reached the door to her current home. She felt her mouth grow dry. She paused for a second or two, then she knocked in the pattern Takan had taught her. When he opened the door, she pushed quickly inside, pulling Lorlen in after her. Takan's eyes widened at the sight of the former Administrator in his unfamiliar green robes, but he said nothing, merely turning a reproachful gaze on Sonea.

"Is he back?" she asked tersely.

"No," the servant replied before turning to the Healer, "Welcome Lord Lorlen."

"It's good to see you again, Takan," he replied handing over his cloak.

"Perhaps you would care to wait in the guest room. I will bring refreshments shortly. Would you like wine or tea?" Taken opened the door to the room and indicated they should enter.

"Tea," Sonea said, "With some cakes if you have them."

"Of course my lady," Takan replied. Lorlen had already moved into the room, so the servant put a hand on her arm and shot Sonea a sharp glance. "What have you done?" he hissed. "You know what Akkarin said."

"I know, Takan, I know, but trust me, Lorlen won't betray us. He's Akkarin's friend."

Takan shook his head sadly, "You must learn that the past is dead and gone, Sonea. You cannot recreate it. Akkarin knows this and the sooner you lean it, the better things will be. He will be very angry, you know."

She bit her lip, "I had no choice."

The servant fixed her with a piercing gaze, "Yes you did. You could have done what he asked for once. I am disappointed in you, my lady."

He turned from her and disappeared down the corridor, leaving her standing alone, her face pale and telltale tears filling her eyes.


	39. A Problem Solved

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**A Problem Solved**

The sweat slowly dripped down Sonea's neck and collected in the collar of her shirt, so it chafed uncomfortably against her neck. The room wasn't particularly hot, but she was unable to prevent anxiety from causing her body to overheat and she couldn't control the sweat without magic. She had been sitting in what Takan grandly described as the guest room with Lorlen for over an hour, waiting for Akkarin to return. Her brain kept replaying Takan's parting words, '…I am disappointed in you, my lady…' and the thread of sadness mingled with disappointment in them pierced her to the core in a way that his anger would not have done.

Her relationship with Takan had always been good and she knew how devoted to Akkarin and his cause the servant was. That devotion had encompassed her, too, once she joined the High Lord in his quest. She should have been able to count on him as an ally, but in reality, his first loyalty was always to the man he thought of as 'Master'. Now, in his eyes, Sonea had joined the ranks of those who had betrayed Akkarin and she doubted she would easily recover his good opinion.

She sipped her tea and half-listened to Lorlen recounting some incident from his work in the city. He spoke well and to some, his tales would be interesting, but she had lost patience with small talk some time ago. She dreaded the coming confrontation with Akkarin, but at the same time, she couldn't wait for it to be over. The sense of anticipation coupled with dread overwhelmed her.

"…Sonea?…"

She became aware that Lorlen had asked her something and looked up from her melancholy contemplation of the contents of her teacup.

"I'm sorry, Lorlen," she said, "I didn't hear what you said."

He smiled sympathetically, "It's difficult isn't it, waiting? More tea?"

She shook her head, "I'm beginning to think this was a terrible idea, but it's all too late now. Even if you went before he came home, he would know from Takan. Everything used to be so clear to me, once I'd decided on something. I had faith in myself that everything would come right in the end. And it usually did!" A half smiled hovered on her lips for a few seconds before vanishing, "But not this time. Something terrible is going to happen, I just know it."

"It's just your emotions, Sonea, and you know why that is."

She grasped eagerly at the thought that her unborn child was the cause of the upheaval in her emotional make-up. "Yes, of course, you're right Lorlen."

At that moment, Takan opened the door and half came into the room. He had not returned after having brought the refreshments, so she was surprised to see him. His face was stern and he looked directly at Sonea.

"He comes," he said softly, "And he knows."

Sonea felt her heart lurch in her chest. She hurriedly drank some tea to ease the sudden dryness in her mouth. She felt the room begin to swirl about her and she looked at Lorlen in something of a panic. The Healer came over to her and took her hand between both of his, sending some Healing she assumed, although she couldn't feel anything. After a moment or two, she began to feel calmer and smiled her thanks at Lorlen.

"You have brought a guest, my dear, how nice."

Akkarin's cool voice came from somewhere behind her and she jumped a little with the shock, despite Takan's warning. Lorlen let go of her hand and they both turned to look at the figure by the door. It was the prosperous sea captain who confronted them, gold earring gleaming, adding to the shine from the gold chain lying across his chest. His face was a pale mask, but Sonea detected something hot and angry in the glance he threw towards her.

"Hello old friend," Lorlen said quietly. "It is good to see you again."

Akkarin came towards them ignoring Lorlen, and sat down, stretching his long legs out in front of him, crossing one sea boot over the other at his ankles. Takan silently appeared, bringing wine and glasses, which he placed next to his master, then just as silently went away, closing the door behind him.

Akkarin made a show of pouring his wine, raising the glass to examine the colour, then sipping appreciatively. He looked at Sonea for a moment, giving nothing away with regard to his feelings, before finally acknowledging Lorlen's presence.

"Ah, Lord Lorlen," he said, "A return to your past, I see."

Lorlen flushed under Akkarin's barbed remark, but before he had time to recover, Akkarin spoke again. "You have a purpose for being here apart from holding hands with my woman I assume?"

"Akkarin!" Sonea cried, but he ignored her, his whole attention was fixed on the Healer.

Lorlen spoke softly to Sonea, "It's all right. Now," he looked at his old friend, "To answer your question, I am here because Sonea needs a Healer's help, that's all."

"And she immediately thought of you, Lord Lorlen, how nice."

Akkarin poured more wine and once again regarded his visitor silently. Sonea could feel the tension crackling between the two men. There was nothing she could do to make things easier, so she remained silent, ignoring with some difficultly the hurt caused by Akkarin's calling her 'my woman' as if she was a doxy he had picked up from the docks.

"Who else, Akkarin? She trusts me and so should you." Lorlen spoke quietly and calmly, refusing to rise to the bait offered by Akkarin's words.

"Yes, I remember how well you trusted me after your truth-reading of Sonea."

Lorlen grew paler, "That's unfair, and you know it. What was I supposed to think? You never explained it to me."

"You never asked. You simply assumed I would betray everything I had dedicated my entire life to protecting. However, that's stale news, Lord Lorlen. Let us concentrate on more up-to-date matters. You were going to explain what you are doing here?"

"For the Eye's sake drop the 'Lord Lorlen'! We've known each other since boyhood. I'm still your friend, Akkarin."

Akkarin laughed, a short harsh laugh, "I am simply obeying the Guild's rules on how to address one of its members, my lord. You may remember they cast me out, ripped my robes and sent me into the wastelands with nothing but the clothes I wore and a former novice to look after….."

Sonea could stand it no more. She wished she could grab both magicians and bang their heads together to knock some sense into them. She stood up abruptly and almost shouted, "Stop this senseless arguing at once!" She turned to Akkarin, " I know you're angry with me for disobeying you, but it's not Lorlen's fault! And you," she looked at the Healer, "I know you're upset because your friend refuses to acknowledge that friendship, but you won't shame him into doing so! The argument is pointless. Let's deal with why we're all here and then we can get on with what we have to do!"

They both stared at her and she thought she saw a faint trace of amusement in Akkarin's dark eyes, but she ignored it and went on, "I have to get rid of the effects of the drug. You can't help me because you're not a Healer. Lorlen is and he will help. He cannot do it himself because he mustn't enter my mind, but you can. Lorlen will explain."

She sat down suddenly, exhausted by what had gone on. She eyed Akkarin's wine glass which was within reach and took it, swallowing its contents. The warmth spread through her and gave her back a little strength. She reached for the bottle and poured herself some more and drank it down but more slowly this time.

In the meantime, Lorlen had explained what needed to be done. She couldn't summon up any enthusiasm to listen to the details; she simply let the words go over her head. All that registered was the rise and fall of voices. Akkarin listened quietly, asking one or two questions as the need arose, with none of his earlier bitterness. The two men seemed to arrive at an agreement. Akkarin moved until he was sitting close to her.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied and licked her lips. Suddenly she was afraid. What if this Healing at one remove didn't work? What if it made things worse? What else would Akkarin see in her mind?

Lorlen seemed to sense her sudden discomfort, because he moved to the other side of her and laid his hand on her arm. She felt a hint of Healing as calmness trickled into her. She smiled her thanks quickly, then turned anxious eyes upon Akkarin. He was starting intently at her, reading her surface thoughts, she assumed.

"Don't worry," he said quietly, "I won't go beyond what I need to do. Close your eyes."

She was beyond speech now, so she simply smiled at him. She closed her eyes, then felt his cool hand against her temple. She heard Lorlen's voice as if from a distance, the meaning of the words he used meant nothing to her. She felt as if she were floating in a cool stream, all cares and worries left far behind somewhere. The water was flowing gently, taking her along with it. Its sweet coolness refreshed her body, damping down the heat, washing away the sweat. She felt at peace for the first time in days. She sank deeper into the calm and allowed all her senses to float with her.

Time passed, she had no idea how much. She could see the water which bore her along quite clearly now. There were glimpses of silver fish and waving green reeds. The sense of peacefulness was like balm to her, healing all her hurts. She was almost ready to stay in the stream forever. Then she was conscious that someone was in the water beside her. With a great effort she turned her head. It was Akkarin, the way she loved him best, clean-shaven, with his long silky hair floating around his face. He reached out and put his hands on each side of her face. She could feel warmth from his hands as he pulled her closer to him. She made a conscious effort to push herself towards him, then her mouth found his, his lips hot upon her own.

_Akkarin? _she sent, _Akkarin?_

_Wake up now Sonea._

She heard the mental voice quite clearly and knew her magic was back. Relief crashed through her. _It had worked! _She opened her eyes, ready to thank Akkarin and Lorlen for restoring her magic. However, it was Takan who was sitting in the chair next to her, regarding her with his calm gaze. There was no one else in the room. "They are not in the house," he said in response to her unspoken question.

She felt a great sense of disappointment. "How long was I asleep?" she asked.

"It is now night time," Taken replied, "You have been asleep for many hours."

"Where is he?" she whispered, half afraid of the answer she might get.

A smile crossed Takan's lips, "In a quayside bol house," he paused for a moment, "Getting rather drunk, I'm afraid."

She tried to think. _Was it Akkarin's mental voice telling her to wake up? Or could it have been Lorlen? _She just didn't know. Tears filled her eyes as her volatile emotions swung towards melancholy. What was she going to do?

"Is he still angry, Takan?"

The servant sighed and stared at her intently, obviously trying to make up his mind about what to tell her. For what seemed like ages, he said nothing and Sonea was afraid to speak in case he decided against revealing anything. Finally, he sighed again, "It pains him to see Lorlen. It makes him remember things he would rather forget. He is angry you disobeyed him."

She puzzled over that. It had never occurred to her that Akkarin had personal reasons for not wanting contact with Lorlen. "Pains him?" she asked, but Takan shook his head, unwilling to say more. It was difficult for him, given he was linked to his master by a blood gem, so he was always circumspect in what he revealed.

"And Lorlen?" she asked.

"He left as soon as his work was done. He will not return."

She considered that. It seemed there would be no resumption of their formerly close relationship. She had hoped they would continue to work together, but it had been a gamble and she had lost. All she could hope for now was that the Guild never decided to truth-read Lorlen, because they would find out their disgraced former High Lord was still alive.

"Are you hungry?" Takan asked eagerly, "I have some savouries in the kitchen."

"Yes, please," she said, "I haven't eaten for some time."

Takan went off to get things ready for her. She poured some more wine and sipped it reflectively. _Akkarin, drunk?_ That would be a new experience.


	40. Truth

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

Truth

She must have fallen asleep because the sound of the front door closing rather noisily woke her with a jerk and for a moment she was disorientated. Then she remembered, she was curled up on a chair in the guest room. She made a globelight, and looked at the clock. It was late, very late. She could hear footsteps coming along the passage and knew that Akkarin had returned from the bol house. _How drunk will he be? _she wondered. The footsteps stopped outside the door, as if their owner had seen the light, but was hesitating about entering.

"Come in," she called, sitting up properly in the chair, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and smoothing her hair and clothes.

The door opened and Akkarin came into the room. Her first thought was that he didn't look particularly drunk. He walked steadily, his clothes were in good order and his hair was tidy. Then she noticed his eyes. They were larger than usual and even darker, if that were possible. Yes, the bol he had consumed showed in his eyes.

"You're still awake," he said unnecessarily.

She smiled, "As you see. I've been waiting for you."

He stared at her, "Why?"

"I wanted to speak with you."

Suddenly the scene they were playing made her want to laugh out loud. How many times had she heard something similar when she'd lived with her aunt? How many times had she seen her uncle stumble home after an evening with his friends? She sounded like an annoyed wife!

Akkarin sat down near the fireplace. The fire was out, but a little magic soon fixed that. When the logs were burning merrily, he looked over at her. It was a long, long look. He didn't say anything but merely continued to gaze intently at her face. She felt a little uncomfortable under his scrutiny, and hurriedly asked if he needed anything.

"A glass of wine," he said.

She hesitated, it was not good to mix bol and wine, but she needed his cooperation if they were to have a proper discussion, so she rose and fetched a fresh bottle of his favourite wine and two glasses. She filled both and handed one to him. He took it and drank half the contents before putting it down.

"So speak then, Sonea," he said, still regarding her closely.

"Are you still angry with me for bringing Lorlen here?"

She had planned to lead up to this question carefully, but somehow it just came out without any preparation or forethought, a bald statement of the question she needed to ask.

"I'm beyond angry with you, Sonea. I have finally realised that you'll never do anything I want you to do. I cannot protect you, nor guide you, because you will always know better than anyone else what should be done." He sounded weary and that frightened her more than his temper would have done.

He drank more wine and refilled his glass. She was lost for words, but she had to continue. She was counting on the bol to loosen his tongue so she could finally get some answers to the questions that weighed on her mind. She had a strong sense that their discussion tonight would be crucial to their future so she couldn't afford to let the conversation lapse.

"I'm truly sorry for breaking my promise over this, but I had to have my magic back. I would have been no use to you without magic."

"See, you always have a reason." A crooked smiled played briefly on his lips, "I can't be doing with it any longer."

"What do you mean?" She managed to keep her voice steady but there was a strange fluttering in her stomach and her mouth was dry.

"We cannot live together, Sonea, that's all there is to it."

It was like a blow to her guts which left her breathless, but she had to fight to keep him, she knew that now, and it wouldn't be easy.

"Explain it to me, Akkarin. Explain why you can't live with me."

"It's late…" he started, but she interrupted him.

"No, tell me now!" she said harshly. " Go on, explain. I need to understand."

He sighed, poured more wine and sat, not looking at her, but staring into the fire. His voice, when he started to speak, was flat and expressionless.

"A long time ago, there was someone else I loved and who loved me. Our situation was fraught with danger; we could both have been killed at any time. It was up to me to protect her, to keep her safe. Like you, she thought she knew better than me what to do and when to do it. We argued over things and, because I loved her, I gave in and let her have her own way. For a while, it seemed to work. We survived despite the odds until one day, she refused to do what I asked and she was killed. She lay on the ground, bloody and broken, like a toy tossed aside by a petulant child. I couldn't save her."

His voiced died away and he drained his glass. He turned away from the fire to stare into her eyes, "I didn't think I could survive her loss, but I did. I went on living, but I swore I would never let myself get into the same position again. The memory of her broken body ensured that. I would never let another woman I loved die because I couldn't save her, because she wouldn't do what I asked."

He rose and refilled his glass and began to pace restlessly around the room. Sonea drank her wine slowly, not saying a word in case she interrupted his tale. There was more to come, she knew it.

"It was easy to keep my vow. There was no one in the Guild who could tempt me to break it. There were women, of course, not magicians, not often and not many, those who wanted an uncomplicated relationship with a healthy love life but without the inconvenient passion. Then you came into the Residence and, despite my best efforts, into my life. Everything changed."

She kept her eyes on him as he paced, he had never looked more desirable to her. It wasn't just the grace of his movements, which always had to power to move her; it was also his pale face with its twin black pools in which she longed to drown; it was the elegance of his narrow hands with their long fingers and her memories of how they played on the instrument of her flesh; it was all of these, which caused a sharp thrust of desire to lodge in her belly. But it wasn't just the physical alone, which fed her desire for him. It was also the knowledge of his inner self gradually being revealed to her, the person he truly was behind the iron control he usually exercised. She wanted to take him in her arms, free him from his clothing, and rain kisses on his lips, his cheeks, his eyes….everywhere. She fought to keep still, to go on listening, her only movement an occasional sip of wine.

He came and sat down again. "It was not long before I knew that if I wished, I could allow you to tempt me. Long before you joined me in my work, I knew I could let myself love you. It would have been easy to just let go and let love happen. But love was a distraction I couldn't afford. I promised myself you would never know. If you hadn't followed me into the wastelands, you never would have begun to have feelings for me. You would never have discovered I had feelings for you." He laughed bitterly, "The circumstances were uncannily like my first terrible experience. We were in great danger, we could have been killed at any time, but, most of all, you never did anything I asked you to do!"

He looked at her, "I couldn't bear to have another woman I loved killed because I failed to protect her. And you won't let me protect you. At every opportunity, you do the opposite of what is best. You court danger; you are fearless and one day that fearlessness is going to end with your death. I shall be unable to prevent it and I cannot live with that any longer. The only answer is to go far away from you."

"You would leave me to court danger on my own?" she said softly. "You would be happier not knowing if I lived or died?"

Her questions seemed to surprise him. He stared at her, his face even paler than usual, and he seemed to struggle for an answer, then he said, "The danger you court comes from your association with me. If I were gone, your life would be free from danger. You would live a normal life."

"It's too late, Akkarin," she said. "I can never live a normal life again. The Guild would imprison me, keep me segregated from other magicians in case I corrupted them. The Thieves would take me as a renegade, to help them increase their power and influence, but I would be their prisoner too in all but name, forced to live with a male protector to keep me from being fought over like a bone. No, my only chance of a normal life of sorts is with you."

She rose and refilled her wine glass. A feeling of hope was gradually forming inside her. She understood much better now the reasons for his moods, his anger and his remoteness. What he had said explained the nightmares too. It was the broken body of his dead love that haunted him. She remembered too, that the nightmares stopped after they became lovers. She was increasingly confident she would be able to succeed in her plan never to be parted from him. She came to sit in the chair next to him, by the fireplace. She sipped her wine and smiled at him.

"I can see where the problem is," she said, "We're too much alike."

He said nothing, merely looked at her with intense dark eyes, an eyebrow raised enquiringly, almost daring her to speak.

"Yes," she said softly, "We're so much alike. Both of us like to control our own actions, we are unwilling to listen to others most of the time. We are confident in our own opinions and will not be told by others how to behave. That is certainly true of you, and it is true also of me. Ask anyone in the Guild! They would agree just how difficult a novice I was. As for you, there was no one who dared tell the High Lord what to do. And now with the black magic skill we both possess, who could possibly control us?"

She leant closer and took his hand, holding it between her own, gently tracing circles with her thumbs, "Who better to be with you than me? Who better for me than you? We are like hand and glove, or like sword and scabbard. We can keep each other safe."

She released his hand and raised hers to lay it against his cheek, "If you abandon me here, I will have nothing. There's no hero waiting to steal me away. The only people waiting for me are those who wish to harm me. And what of you in your lonely existence far away from me? What will you do for the rest of your life? Once our work in Imardin is done, we will only have each other. I am content with that. What about you?"

She looked steadily into his eyes, willing him to see what the future could be if they stayed together. She could read nothing in his gaze. When he did move, it took her completely by surprise. He grabbed her face between his two hands and kissed her hard, his mouth burning hers as his tongue thrust into her. She flung her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him.

Then they were on the floor, pulling at their garments, in a hurry to feel warm skin and firm flesh. She felt his muscles ripple beneath her hands as he thrust into her, fiercely taking possession of her body, mercilessly creating wave after wave of pleasure, until she felt she was falling apart beneath him. She fought back with lips and tongue, finding the pulse in his throat flutter wildly under her mouth, using her hands to cause his flesh to tremble beneath her touch. It was as if a fire had been lit which consumed them both until they reached a shuddering climax together and fell back, exhausted.

Through it all, not one word had been spoken. It had been quick, hot and ruthless with no quarter expected or given and it was the most wonderful and exiting lovemaking she had experienced. She lay in his arms, with her head on his chest. She could feel his heart thundering, like her own, listening as it gradually returned to normal. She looked up at his face to find him staring down at her. He smiled and smoothed her hair back from her face.

_You cast a strong spell_, he sent, _which is difficult to resist._

She smiled broadly, stretching a little, like a young zill and gently kissed him, her mouth opening beneath his, her tongue softly exploring.

_I cannot resist you_, she sent, _nor do I want to!_

"Shall we go up to bed before Takan comes to find out what's going on in here?" His voice was warm and full of amusement.

"Yes," she said throatily, "Lets see if we can do that again."

He picked her up, and leaving their clothing where it lay, carried her upstairs and placed her carefully on the bed. He leaned over her and ran a hand over her breasts and down her body while she stared up at him. He slid in next to her and gathering her up, held her close against him.

"You are very persuasive, Sonea, in all sorts of ways."

She could hear his voice thicken with desire and felt triumph rise within her. He loved her, she had no doubt, and she was beginning to believe he would find it as difficult as she to live apart. The war wasn't won completely yet, but she felt that she had won this particular battle.

They slipped into the rhythms of lovemaking, slowly and tenderly, with none of the fierce urgency of the last time. And when the moment of fulfilment came, it was calmer than before, but nevertheless utterly satisfying bringing a deep sense of serenity and contentment to them both. They slipped into sleep, wrapped in each other's arms, where they belonged.


	41. Finally

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**Finally**

She found herself alone, as usual. Akkarin's side of the bed was cool and even the pillow was smooth. He might have left hours ago, she had no way of knowing. She could have been forgiven for thinking the events of the past night had been nothing more than a dream. She smiled to herself, she hadn't had much sleep, so dreaming opportunities had been very limited. The bol, coupled with the wine he had drunk, had done its work. Akkarin's tongue had been loosened and she had learned much to explain the actions of the unusual man she loved. Perhaps it was the effects of the drink, too, which had released him to make love to her so thoroughly. All his reservations about their being together seemed to have been suppressed too, and she could only hope that it would be permanent. She laughed joyously. She didn't really care what the cause, she was sated with lovemaking and it would have been almost impossible for her to feel happier.

She had no fear now that he would disappear from her life without a word. There were still things she didn't understand completely, but she was sure, in time, these would be explained also. She stretched contentedly. Soon she would have to get up and have breakfast. She was unsurprisingly hungry and a hot mug of raka would not go amiss.

As she washed and dressed, she thought about what would happen next. Now that her uncertainties about Akkarin were gradually being laid to rest, her mind turned to finding Kariko and his companion. The searches they had been carrying out had narrowed down the area quite considerably and she was sure that soon, Akkarin would get the message they'd been waiting for. Now her magic was once more available, she was keen to get the thing over with so they could get on with the rest of their lives.

Takan had provided his usual good spread and, rather than leaving her to eat alone, came to join her at the table. She looked curiously at his breakfast. She had never seen him eat before and had always wondered if he ate Kyralian food or whether he made up his own dishes based on Sachakan food. He drank some strange smelling tea, very unlike the brew she was used to. She examined it closely and noticed that several dried flowers and what looked like berries floated in his cup. At his urging, she tried some and found it strangely scented, tasting of flowers, and rather sickly. She murmured something vaguely complementary but the smile which crossed his face told her he knew what she really thought.

Takan didn't eat bread or honey either, but instead ate some balls of white sticky grain and a few pickled vegetables. She tried a little of these too and found them acceptable, but she preferred good honest Kyralian food. She ate several of the small warm bread rolls, smothered in butter and honey. Still feeling hungry, she moved on to slices of cold meat and cheese. At one point, she thought she heard Takan laugh, but upon looking up quickly, she noticed his face was impassive as he drank more of his flowery tea.

There seemed no rush, as nothing could be done until Akkarin reappeared, so she and Takan spent some time in agreeable conversation. He was explaining one of the more unusual Sachakan customs when there was an impatient banging at the front door. He went to answer it and a few moments later came to tell her that there was someone with a message for Akkarin.

"He asked for Captain Verrin, so he must be bringing a message from one of the paid informants," Takan said. "I told him that the Captain was out, but his apprentice, Sym was here. You'll have to see him."

"Do I look all right?" Sonea asked. She was still wearing assorted male clothing from Akkarin's chest, but had left off the chest band as she was finding it a little painful.

Takan looked her over carefully and nodded, "You'll pass as a boy. Deal with him quickly. Here's a silver to give him, that's what Akkarin usually pays."

Clutching the coin, Sonea went to where a scruffy looking boy was sitting, staring at his feet. As soon as he saw her, he sprang to his feet and doffed his cap.

"Message for Cap' Verrin," he said confidently.

"Captain Verrin is out. Give me the message," Sonea held out her hand expectantly.

The boy looked at her and said firmly, "I has to give it to Cap' Verrin and no one else. That's my instructions."

She toyed with the idea of using magic to make him give her the message, but there was a risk, a remote risk, but a possibility nevertheless that he would be aware of the spell and she couldn't take that chance. Instead she smiled at him and said, "You're a good messenger, doing your job well, but I'll bet you were told the message was important, weren't you?" When the boy nodded, she went on, "Well, I'm Captain Verrin's apprentice, Sym, and he would want you to tell me the news, as he isn't here and the message is urgent. There's a silver for you when I have the message."

She held out her hand again and the boy looked at it doubtfully. He chewed his lip, then as he registered the gleam from the silver in her palm, he gave a little half-shrug and fumbled in his belt for a moment, then drew out a crumpled bit of paper. He gave it to her and grabbed the silver, almost as if he thought she was going to change her mind.

"Thank you," she said, but the boy was already turning towards the door, obviously not wishing to remain a moment longer. She let him out, then smoothed out the scrappy piece of paper. It was covered in an untidy script, but seemed to be giving directions to a place right in the centre of a web of narrow streets. She took it back to Takan and together they poured over Akkarin's map, glancing frequently at the message until they had identified the spot described in the letter.

"When do you think Akkarin will return?" she asked, but Takan merely smiled his enigmatic smile and said, "When he chooses to."

"Can you sense where he is?"

Takan shook his head. "He can switch off the blood gem link if he wishes and today, it seems he wishes. You'll just have to be patient, Sonea."

Wishing she knew more about blood gems and just what they could and could not do, Sonea took Takan's advice. Until Akkarin returned, there was nothing either of them could do. She briefly toyed with going to check out the area on her own, but rejected the idea almost immediately. Akkarin would be furious if she put herself at risk and she didn't want to create any more difficulties, especially after recent events. Her luck had held out so far, but she didn't want to wear it out!

She used some of the time to have a long hot bath. Her magic ensured a constant supply of hot scented water and she wallowed in it for almost an hour. Standing in front of a mirror, she tried to see if there were any signs of her pregnancy. There was nothing obvious, her body was still slim and supple, although she thought her breasts were a little heavier. _That will soon put paid to dressing as a boy_, she thought. She tried to remember how her aunt's body had changed when she had been expecting a child. It was difficult because she had really paid little attention at the time. She did remember how her aunt's body had swollen near her time and the regular complaints she had made about backaches and other niggles. _There's no point worrying yet_, she thought. _It's all a long way off._

She made a conscious effort to lock any thought about the child firmly away in her mind. There must be no opportunity for Akkarin to read it in her surface thoughts. Once he knew, she could expect to have her movements severely curtailed, with no thought of joining in any sort of fight with the Ichani. She just knew that Akkarin would be an anxious father-to-be and she needed to postpone the moment for as long as possible.

By the time she had finished, it was almost time for the mid-day meal. There were already mouth-watering smells coming from the kitchen. She was hungry again, despite the hearty breakfast only a few hours before. As she came down the stairs, the front door banged shut and she saw Akkarin in the hall below. Gone was 'Captain Verrin'; this time he was dressed as a sailor of the lowest type, his clothes and hair suitably grubby.

He looked up as she came down the stairs towards him and smiled apologetically. "I'll wash and change before eating," he said as he saw her wrinkle her nose at the smell emanating from his clothing.

By the time he joined her at the table, he was clean and tidy, and she looked at him approvingly. His hair was growing and she hoped he wouldn't ask her to cut it again.

He made no mention of where he had been or what he'd been doing. Half of her wanted to start an argument with him about being left out of things, again. It was so frustrating and it had been like this ever since they had been put over the border. The other half, however, was much more sensible. She knew by now that nothing she could say or do would make him tell her if he'd decided she should not know. There was no point in arguing fruitlessly.

She told him about the messenger and the area identified as the hiding place of the Ichani. After they had finished a filling meal of delicious meat stew, Akkarin pushed the dishes aside to clear a space and spread out his map. Looking carefully at the instructions, and then at the map, it didn't take him long to pinpoint the exact spot.

He carefully traced a route from a main street to the building, using the handle of a fork to demonstrate the best way to approach the site and where they should go afterwards.

"What sort of a building do you think it might be?" Sonea asked, staring at the map.

Akkarin shrugged, "It's impossible to say, except that area is full of old tenements and half-ruined buildings of one sort or another. It's a good place to lie low. No one asks any questions if you have a coin or two to buy silence. I suspect they've been hiding there for some time."

"Why do you say that?" she asked.

"There have been three or four deaths in the general area, all showing signs of draining. The first one happened not long after the battle, the rest over the next few days. I suspect that Kariko was badly injured and the boy who rescued him is trying to keep him alive."

"How do you know about the deaths?" Sonea couldn't keep the surprise from her voice.

Akkarin smiled, that irritating know-it-all smile she remembered from confrontations with him in the Residence.

"I have a very good set of informers," he said smugly. "You would be surprised at what I know."

She shot him an anxious glance, was he trying to tell her he knew about the child? _No, _she thought desperately_, Don't think about that! _But, luckily, Akkarin had already turned back to the map and had no opportunity to read her.

"I heard about them from Cery," she said. "I would have pressed him for more details, but he didn't want to tell me anything. If only I'd made him tell, it would have saved so much time!"

Akkarin was still pouring over the map and made no reply. She wasn't even sure he'd heard her! She went to stand next to him as he began to set out his plans for the destruction of the Ichani. Once again, she was able to see the eager young Warrior he had once been and wished she had known him then, before all the terrible events, which shaped his life and character, had occurred. She sighed at the lost opportunity and he turned towards her, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

"What's wrong, Sonea?"

She smiled reassuringly, "It's nothing." She slipped an arm around him and rested her head on his shoulder, "What do I do?"

He turned back to the map and over the next ten minutes outlined the precise actions they must take in order to deal with Kariko and his companion once and for all. She listened carefully and repeated back her instructions to Akkarin's satisfaction. It all seemed so simple, but her experiences of fighting Ichani told her it would be anything but simple.

Then it was done. The plan made, their actions fully understood by each of them, there was nothing left to do but wait. They were to attack that night. Tomorrow it would all be over, one way or another.


	42. The First Goodbye

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**The First Goodbye**

Sonea bent over the chest. She needed dark clothing and Akkarin had assured her that there were plenty among the collection in his room. She pulled out one or two jerkins, but discarded them as not being dark enough. After a few minutes scrabbling around in the depths of the chest, she had accumulated a pair of dark tight fitting trousers, a shirt so dark a grey, it looked black and a black jacket. She put them on and examined herself critically in the mirror. The trousers were much tighter than she was used to, but she tried a few movements, and found them comfortable enough. She was also pleased that there would be nothing to grab hold of if anyone tried to restrain her. The shirt buttoned up to the neck and although it was a little long and the sleeves fell over her wrists, it was easy enough to roll them up and hide the bulge under the sleeves of the jacket. There was plenty of room to hide her black magician's knife, but still allow rapid access to it.

Her hair was a little longer these days, a bit feminine looking, which was at odds with her boy's clothing, so she rummaged through the pile looking for a hat. The only suitable one was a close fitting felt cap, which covered all her hair. It was large enough that she could pull it down so it covered her ears. She stared at her reflection. It was true, she did look like a youth, albeit a somewhat delicate looking one. _As long as I keep away from the dockside, _she thought in amusement, _I should be safe enough._

Safe! That word felt strange on her tongue. Suddenly she was aware of an icy feeling starting in the pit of her stomach and slowly spreading out through her body. It was almost as if there were a large, cold snake coiled in her belly which had awakened and was tasting the air with its forked tongue, ready to invade her whole body. Her mind jumped back to the night before the last battle. Akkarin had asked her then if she were afraid and she had answered yes. At the time, that was true as far as it went, but now, after all her experiences since then, she realised that she had not been as afraid as she was now. Slowly, she recognised that her fear was not for herself.

Despite her best efforts, she couldn't prevent the image of Akkarin lying in the dust, Kariko's knife buried in his chest so deep that only the hilt showed, his face white and lined with pain, filling her mind. It had happened once, it could happen again her mind told her. Fear began to push its icy fingers into her belly, clawing its way up to her heart and she felt tears start to spill over and track down her cheeks. She dashed them away in exasperation. _Not now!_ she cried silently, cursing her volatile emotions. Tonight she needed a clear head. She mumbled a Warrior's calming mantra, and after a few moments, she felt the icy tentacles start to retreat.

She looked at the window. The sky was still light and there were many hours to go before they set off to finish the Ichani in Imardin once and for all. Akkarin had gone out again, still not saying where he was going or what he was doing. If Takan knew, he wasn't saying. There were no instructions left for her. What did they expect her to do? She felt frustrated at being left to her own devices and a spark of rebellion began to make itself known. She looked at her reflection again. There was nothing about the small slim figure, which reminded her of Sonea, the magician, and that meant that others probably wouldn't recognise her either. So, she was free to go out into the city without fear that she would be captured and returned to the Guild.

Her mind made up, she crept down the stairs, not wishing to encounter Takan, and pausing only to grab her cloak, she let herself out and walked rapidly away. For the first few minutes she refused to acknowledge her destination, but as she moved ever closer to the South Square, she could not hide from the fact she was going to find Lorlen.

She entered the square and looked around. There was no sign of Lorlen, but the usual raka seller was there. She bought a drink and took it over to one of the benches and sat sipping it slowly. Now she was here, she was having second thoughts. What was the purpose of seeing Lorlen? There was nothing he could do to help them with the Ichani. She wasn't ill and in need of a Healer. There was no reason at all for her to be waiting for him. Her reasoning swayed first one way, and then another. This recent inability to make up her mind was driving her to distraction. It was so unlike the Sonea of old!

She swallowed the last of the raka and decided it would be best to go home. Just as she got to her feet, she caught a glimpse of bright green out of the corner of her eye. It was Lorlen, carrying his Healer's pack and obviously on his way back from visiting the sick. She took it as an omen, which finally made up her mind, and moved to intercept him. He didn't know her at first, then grinned as he realised who she was.

"You never cease to amaze me," he said cheerfully, rolling his eyes.

"Shall we have some raka?" she asked, thinking it would be better to speak to him here in the square. There was little risk that things would become difficult out in full public view and it might help her to keep a tight rein on her emotions. He quickly agreed and went to buy some. They sat side by side on the same bench where they had first met. He looked at her closely for a moment.

"You're looking well," he said with satisfaction. "The Healing worked then?"

"Yes, and I'm so grateful. It must have been very difficult for both of you."

"I didn't expect to see you again," he said softly. "My old friend was very clear about that."

She nodded, "He doesn't know I'm here, but I had to come, one last time."

"One last time?"

"Yes, tonight we will complete our task, then we'll go far away from here."

He looked closely at her, as if he were trying to read her thoughts. "Although I will be sorry not to see you both again, it is best," he said. "The patrols searching for you are to be increased. The High Lord has issued another proclamation stating you must be captured, that you are extremely dangerous and hinting that you have been performing forbidden magic in the city which has resulted in the deaths of innocent citizens."

She was not surprised at Lorlen's news. Her one meeting with Balkan since he had become High Lord had told her all she needed to know about his feelings towards her. She remembered the frequent looks of dislike he gave her, the way his eyes narrowed when she defied him. There would be nothing she could do which would redeem herself in his eyes. She was a dwell. She was a black magician. She was dangerous. That's what Balkan thought of her. The Guild wanted her for her knowledge, nothing more. After they had what they wanted, she could look forward to nothing more than isolation in a prison cell at best, or execution at worst.

"I shouldn't have come, Lorlen," she said, "But I wanted you to know that he and I will face the future together."

"Does he know…..?"

"No, I will wait until we are settled somewhere before I say anything about the child." There was nothing more to say, she realised and she didn't want to prolong the meeting. It was difficult for both of them. She stood and faced him, "Thank you for the raka, and for freeing me from the drug. Goodbye, Lorlen." Her voice was stiff as she struggled to hold back her emotions.

She held out her hand and he took it, holding it for a moment before releasing her.

"Goodbye, Sonea. If you need me for anything, anytime, just send me a message. I'll come." He hesitated for a moment, then looked into her eyes, his gaze steady and honest, "If you have an opportunity sometime, tell my old friend I wish him well."

She watched him walk away, surprised at the pain she felt. Despite everything, she was fond of Lorlen and had no fear he would betray her knowingly. He was a large part of her past as a magician; in fact everything that had happened to her since her first weeks the Guild had been down to Lorlen truth-reading her during her guardianship hearing. Without him, she would never have become involved with Akkarin. For that alone, she would always be grateful to him.

As she made her way back, she felt an unexpected feeling of sadness grow within her. She was a child of Imardin and had lived in the city all her life. For most of that time, she had been a dwell child running wild, free to roam anywhere and everywhere. Even when immured in the Guild, she had, somehow, still been part of the city. Now, she was going to leave it, to set out for who knew where, to try to make a new life far away from the familiar hustle and bustle of Imardin's streets. Even knowing she would be with Akkarin could not alleviate the sorrow at leaving her home.

She found herself looking round, almost as if she were trying to imprint the buildings and people on her mind. She smiled to herself, _Who would have thought it? The city pulls at my heartstrings and I almost don't want to leave it._ Her footsteps slowed as she walked, her mind saying goodbye to each little street, or building as she passed. By the time she reached the street where her temporary home was situated, the sun had sunk in the evening sky and the shadows were lengthening.

Takan opened the door to let her in. He frowned a little at her, "Where have you been?" he asked. "Akkarin has been asking for you."

She found him in the dining room, sipping some tea and staring at his map. He looked up as she came in, "Ah, back from your walk," he said, his voice cool.

She smiled confidently, "Yes, I've just been saying goodbye to the city."

He looked at her intently for a moment and she kept her face still and her thoughts pushed deep and hidden at the back of her mind. Then his face softened, "It's not easy to say goodbye," he said softly.

She remembered Takan's saying that Akkarin had found it hard to see Lorlen again and realised that his whole life, since his first time in Sachaka had been one long good-bye to people and places as he cut himself free to pursue his self-imposed task of keeping the Guild safe from the Ichani.

She went over to him and took his hand, "It had to be done," she said, "So I could be free to do what must be done tonight."

She kissed his cheek, then directed her gaze to the map, "Let's go over what we will do again, just to be sure."


	43. Kariko

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**Kariko**

They were moving silently through the almost completely deserted streets. It wouldn't take long now to reach the place where the Ichani were hiding. Sonea glanced to where Akkarin moved slightly ahead of her. He hugged the shadows and she had to admire the way in which he instinctively knew the darkest places to head for, and how little actual movement was visible to the untutored eye. She did her best to copy him, but knew her own efforts were lacking his skill. She hoped fervently that this would be the last time such skill would be required of either of them.

It had been almost half-an-hour since they had left the relative comfort of their dwelling, both dressed from head to foot in the darkest garments they possessed. Akkarin's beard further concealed the paleness of his face, but she had had to make do with a strip of material which she wrapped round her face until only her eyes showed under the close-fitting felt cap.

Somewhere, a few moments behind them, she knew, Takan followed, ready to give strength if required. He had earlier donated some of his power to Akkarin, but had held much in reserve just in case. Sonea checked her own power levels for the hundredth time. She, too, was replete with power and this time, she was determined to position herself close to Akkarin in case he needed it. She mentally reviewed their battle plan. If all went well, it would be over very quickly as Akkarin was certain that Kariko was disabled in some way.

"All the circumstances point to it," he had said during one of their planning sessions. "If he had been fully fit, either he would have left the city, or he would have summoned others and led another attack on the Guild. No, I think he is incapacitated and the young Ichani with him is trying to keep him alive."

Sonea tried to remember everything she could about the Ichani who had appeared so suddenly, just in time to prevent her killing Kariko. She thought him young, perhaps just an apprentice, and he seemed strongly linked to Kariko. Perhaps he was Kariko's own apprentice and the older magician had been keeping him away from the main fighting, just like Akkarin had tried to do with her. _That's it!._ she thought, _The boy is his and there is some emotional attachment between them. _Here was something which might be useful in their attack tonight and she wondered if Akkarin was aware of it.

She reached towards Akkarin and took his arm. He turned quickly to look at her. She sent to him, the close contact between them ensuring that no other magicians would be able to hear their conversation.

_The boy may be Kariko's weakness. There is some sort of link between them._

Akkarin nodded, but said nothing in reply. She wondered why he didn't respond to her idea, then it struck her that perhaps he'd considered this already, although he hadn't mentioned it during their planning sessions. Perhaps it was not important.

They were approaching the area the informant had identified. It was made up of a mass of old tenement buildings, crowded one against another, with little in the way of space between them. Among them were disreputable-looking bol houses and judging from the noise leaking out into the street, these were popular places for people to get very drunk and pick fights. The streets were mainly empty, though, which suited their purpose.

Akkarin gestured towards a tall building at the far end of a narrow passage.

_There is our goal_, he sent.

She could see it clearly. There were no lights showing, all of the ground floor windows were tightly shuttered against the night. However the higher stories showed bare windows, some cracked and broken and others encrusted with grime. They turned into the passage. It was so narrow, there were no places to conceal themselves if anyone came along, not even a sheltering doorway. She admired Kariko's choice. He would be able to see anyone approaching from the street. Hopefully now though, he and his companion would be asleep. That was their reason for waiting until a couple of hours before dawn to attack.

When they reached it, Akkarin put his hands against one of the shutters. She watched him curiously. The ability to sense if a building was occupied was a skill she had not learned, as it was only taught to higher magicians. There had been a lot of speculation among the novices as to what higher magicians used it for. The general consensus was that it was useful in helping them spy on novices! After a moment, he held up a hand with three fingers extended.

As they had planned, she stepped closer to Akkarin and placed her arms around him. He created a disk below them and they rose gently into the air. He levitated them towards one of the most badly cracked windows. He peered carefully inside. The room must have been empty, because he fumbled a little with the latch and opened it soundlessly. She clambered up in his arms until she could reach the window frame, and pulled her self inside. A moment later, Akkarin followed.

They found themselves in a filthy room, filled with broken bits of furniture and what looked like decades of dust and dirt. The dirty floor showed no signs of footprints, so if was safe to assume it was disused. Akkarin took hold of her hand.

_There are two people nearby and another some distance away, I don't know exactly where_, he sent, his mental voice a mere whisper in her mind.

She nodded her understanding, not trusting her own ability in mental communication to prevent other nearby magicians from hearing her. They moved towards the door. Akkarin cracked it open and peered through the narrow gap. After a moment he gestured her to follow and slid out into a corridor. Unlike the room they had just left, this floor showed signs of use, with many different dusty footprints criss-crossing the space. There appeared to be a number of doors along the corridor.

Akkarin signed for Sonea to remain where she was as he went to check each door. The first two doors apparently led into empty rooms as he moved on swiftly. At the third door, he paused for several moments, before turning and beckoning her forward. He held up two fingers, so it seemed they had found the Ichani. Sonea checked the door and as expected, it was secured with a magical lock. She knelt down, so she was level with the lock. It was her task to undo the spell, so she examined it carefully and to her surprise, she found it a fairly basic spell, the sort a novice would use. It only took her a few seconds to undo it.

She looked up at Akkarin and nodded. He put his hand on the door handle and slowly turned it. The door opened without a sound, unusual in an old building such as this and evidence of an occupant who wished to remain unheard. Through the widening gap, Sonea saw the room was in darkness. What light there was came through a small window which had no shutters or curtains. Sonea looked immediately for a bed with sleeping figures, but to her surprise the bed was empty. Instead, she could see a heavily muffled form slumped in a chair, with another form lying at its feet.

_Who comes?_

The mental voice was weak and tired. Akkarin moved swiftly towards the chair, his hands raised in an attacking posture. At the same time, a globelight flared into existence over his head. The figure in the chair turned its head and revealed a horribly disfigured face, with open sores oozing clear liquid.

_Akkarin_ - It was less of a mental voice than a long sigh.

Sonea stared at the ruined face, she could hardly recognise Kariko, so badly was he injured. Although she knew that given the chance before the gates of the Guild, Kariko would have killed Akkarin and then turned his knife on her, she felt a pang of pity for the man in front of her. His pain was almost tangible.

She felt a faint buzz of magic, as Akkarin made an immobility spell. Kariko froze in his chair as the blankets covering him were pulled aside, revealing strips of linen which covered his arms and chest. The linen was discoloured, soaked with whatever was seeping from his wounds and a sickly sweet odour filled the room.

A movement from the huddled figure on the floor caused Sonea to look closely at it. It wasn't the boy, but a half-naked woman, who was chained to the chair. She stared up at them, her eyes wild and unfocused as she began to make mewling noises.

"A slave," Sonea said, "Where did she come from?"

There was a faint mental chuckle, _So tasty, the women of this city, and so full of magic_.

Sonea made a noise of disgust and bent to help the woman, but she scrabbled away as far as her chain would allow, all the time staring at Sonea in terror.

"Leave her," Akkarin said sharply. "We have work to do here."

He took out his jewelled knife and drew closer to the frozen figure in the chair. "It ends here, Kariko!" He raised the knife, ready to make a cut.

_Wait…. _

Unexpectedly, Akkarin stopped, the knife just inches away from Kariko's neck.

_Mikido….let Mikido go._

Akkarin gave a bark of laughter, "Why would I let any Ichani live after all the death and destruction they have inflicted on Imardin?"

_He's only a boy … _Kariko's mental voice was even weaker than before and Sonea could hear the effort he made to continue.

"There were many boys killed when you came to the city. What's one more death, especially when that death is of an enemy?" Akkarin's voice held no mercy.

_MIKIDO RUN!_

As Kariko's mental voice rang out, loud and strong, one last time, Akkarin drew the knife across his neck and held his hand over the cut. It was over very quickly.

"Not much power in him," Akkarin remarked. "What he could get from the woman was barely keeping him alive. Now we must find the boy."

At that moment, they could hear pounding footsteps coming closer. It seemed the boy was running, but not in the direction Kariko had hoped. He would be upon them almost immediately. Akkarin told Sonea to stand behind the door, while he remained next to Kariko's body.

The door burst open and Mikido rushed in, his shield already in place. He skidded to a stop as he caught sight of the slumped figure in the chair and Akkarin standing over him, jewelled knife in hand.

"Father!" Even as the anguished cry broke from him, Mikido sent a fierce strike towards Akkarin. He was powerful, there was no doubt of that, but the wildness of his strike showed his inexperience. However, he kept up a rapid series of strikes, which Akkarin deflected easily, allowing him to use up some of his power to little effect.

Sonea emerged from behind the door and sent a force strike directly into the centre of his back. His shield deflected it of course, but the unexpected strike from behind caused him to falter as he whirled to face a new attacker. Now he was caught between them, forced to send strikes in two directions. Acting in concert, Akkarin and Sonea drove him into a corner from which there was no escape. The boy's eyes darted from side to side, trying to seek a way out, but he was unable to prevent his attackers from coming closer and closer.

Sonea could see tears running down his cheeks, whether they were a sign of grief for his father or fear for his own life, she didn't know, all she wanted was for it to be over soon. Akkarin was sending his strikes to a single point in Mikido's shield. She began to target the same area. Just as she did so, her concentration must have wavered for just a moment, because her shield weakened and one of Mikido's strikes forced its way through. She felt a blossoming hot pain down her left side which momentarily stunned her. She gasped with the pain and was forced to use Healing to counteract the effects.

Her problem had not gone unnoticed by the boy and he began to devote more of his strikes to her. She could see him staring at her with the same look of hatred on his face she had seen before, a frown of concentration creasing his brow as he pounded her shield with harder and harder strikes.

_You may kill my companion, but you won't kill me. I shall still be here to take your power. __You will feel the sharp sting of my knife and then the draining of your power and with it, your life._

Sonea knew Akkarin was trying to get the boy's attention away from her, but it didn't seem to be working as Mikido redoubled his efforts to destroy her shield. He had no proper plan that she could see but simply relied on his power to batter her relentlessly. As the pain in her side faded a little, she tried again to target the spot on his shield that Akkarin had been working on.

Again, Mikido forced a way through her shield and a burning pain shot down her arm this time, followed by a sharp throbbing in her belly. Her concentration faltered again, but unlike after the previous strike, she didn't allow it to weaken her shield any more. She drew on more power to strengthen her defences, ignoring the burning sensations which almost incapacitated her, as best she could.

_It is over Mikido._

As he sent his final message, Akkarin sent his most powerful strike yet straight into the same spot on the boy's shield. It shattered and the boy fell to the floor under the shock of the strike. Akkarin was on him straight away, giving him no chance to recover, his knife drawn quickly across the boy's neck. Mikido bucked beneath him, trying to dislodge his opponent, but as his power was drained from him, the boy's movements became weaker and more feeble until he lay quiet under Akkarin's hands.

After a minute or two, Akkarin rose to his feet and reached for Sonea. He held her close to him and she could feel the Healing he sent flood her body and take away the pain until she felt almost light-headed with relief. _It was over at last_.


	44. Afterwards

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**Afterwards**

Sonea felt herself begin to shake, with relief, she told herself quickly, not fear. Akkarin continued to hold her and she clung to him gratefully. They had destroyed the last two Ichani with little hurt to themselves and she couldn't help but think it had been almost too easy. She had been expecting a difficult struggle and yet they had found Kariko unable to defend himself and the boy so inexperienced that he hadn't stood any real chance of defeating them. After all the anticipation, it was almost an anti-climax. Sonea, who was in many ways still a superstitious dwell at heart, wondered if there would be a price to pay in the future, because of what had happened here tonight. Two powerful black magicians had joined forces to destroy a sick and dying man and a boy. It was not the outcome she had anticipated, nor Akkarin.

The trembling Sonea had experienced earlier had stopped. "Thank you," she said softly, "I feel better now."

Akkarin released her and another globelight flared into life, filling the room with bright light, as he began to examine the bodies in more detail. Sonea stared at the dead Ichani. Kariko had been a figure of fear to her ever since she and Akkarin had begun their journey back to Imardin, so it was almost unreal to see him lying dead at last, his body a mass of weeping sores.

"I don't understand," she turned to Akkarin, "How could my original strike have caused all this damage? I saw him about to drain you and sent the strongest strike I could manage, but it shouldn't have caused these wounds."

Akkarin examined him closely, even pulling aside some of the strips to see the injuries more clearly. Kariko's upper body was a mass of open sores, some resembling burns left long untreated, while others looked as if someone had scored his flesh over and over again with a sharp, but terribly rusty, knife. Although it was some time since the battle before the Guild gates, no healing had taken place as far as Sonea could see, in fact it looked as if the sores were spreading rather than diminishing.

"I've never seen such injuries from a strike before either," Akkarin murmured. "Perhaps he had some odd magic of his own he was casting at the same time as you struck and it mingled with your magic in some way. Whatever the cause, it is unlikely he would have survived much longer, despite the boy's efforts."

Now most of the linen strips had been removed, Sonea was even more conscious of the sickly sweet smell which arose from Kariko's body. It was the smell of decay as his flesh had begun to rot even before his death. She wondered afresh why it was that the Ichani, powerful magicians in so many ways, had not the skill of Healing. Even a basic understanding of how to Heal would have prevented so much damage to his body, to say nothing of keeping him alive until his body repaired itself.

A noise from the floor reminded them of the chained woman. Sonea took hold of her and began to send Healing in an effort to calm her down. The woman was so agitated, it took a while to work, but eventually she lay still and quietly drifted into sleep. Sonea broke the chain with shatter magic so that Akkarin could lift her on to the bed where he covered her with a blanket.

"What do we do now?" she asked. She knew they'd discussed it, but her mind was a blank.

"Takan will be here soon to help us remove all trace of the Ichani. The bodies must be destroyed. There must be nothing left to show they were here. I don't want the Guild to find this place and start investigating what went on here."

Akkarin noticed Sonea's questioning look, "The Guild have declared me dead. I don't want anyone who comes to this place to question that declaration. Any sign of a black magic battle will only remind them of me…us," he added quickly as he saw Sonea begin to open her mouth.

She acknowledged his correction with a smile, before asking, "But the woman….?"

"I'll take away her memories of what has happened here and find somewhere suitable to leave her. She'll be able to go back to where she came from, when she wakes."

Although Sonea felt it rather cruel just to leave the woman to wake and find her own way home, she couldn't justify any other course of action. Lorlen would have helped, but there was no way she could even mention that possibility to Akkarin. She knew exactly what his reaction would be!

She went over to where Mikido lay and stared down at him. In death, he appeared even younger, perhaps no more than fourteen. Akkarin's shallow cut low on his neck was barely visible so he looked as if he had fallen asleep. She studied his face. He was an attractive boy and would have made a handsome man.

All at once, Sonea was overcome with pity that such a young boy had been killed so far from home and for such a purpose. She remembered the implacable tone Akkarin had used when he refused to allow the boy to live. _Had he been wrong?_ Sonea chose to believe that had the question been asked of her, the boy would have survived. It _**was **_wrong of Akkarin to refuse, the boy would have been helpless without Kariko and could have been allowed to return home.

But, even as these thoughts were running through her mind, deep down the realisation grew that Akkarin had been right. The boy would not have remained a boy forever. He had already shown he was a strong magician. Once fully-grown and trained, he would have been a formidable enemy. Couple that with the hatred the death of his father would have caused, and Mikido would have been yet another Ichani determined to destroy Akkarin, the Guild and Kryalia. Yes! Akkarin was right in this, and she was wrong.

_One day, I might tell him that!_ she thought with some amusement, _But not yet…._

Akkarin had finished his examination of Kariko. He moved the boy's body so that he was lying next to his father. He stared at them for a moment, then sent a powerful strike which destroyed both bodies in a flash of light. There was no sound, and no traces of either the bodies or the strike remained. The woman on the bed slept on, undisturbed by what was going on around her. Sonea had to admire the efficiency with which Akkarin executed his magic. There were no unnecessary movements, no dramatic waving of hands or murmured ritual words. He simply looked at his target, concentrated, then cast the magic. The only outward sign had been the momentary flash of light and she guessed that very few people would have been awake and staring in the right direction to have seen it. Even if they had, they would probably have thought it distant lightning.

_I must get him to teach me better control of my magic,_ she thought. _We will have plenty of time for that soon…._

"Takan is here, let him in, Sonea."

Akkarin's voice intruded into her little daydream of future magic study and she had to ask him to repeat himself. It didn't take her long to run downstairs to open the door. Takan was swathed in his dark green cloak, with a wide-brimmed hat pulled low on his brow. He smiled as she pulled the door fully open.

"Everything has gone to plan, my lady?" he asked.

"Did you doubt it?" she replied.

He shook his head, "Not with the two of you working things out, my lady, you're a good team."

They checked over the rest of the house. Most of it was shut up and disused, but they found where the boy had been, in a makeshift kitchen, brewing up a potion for his father. It seemed as if Mikido had experimented with every concoction he could think of. There were half-filled pots and pans containing a variety of strange smelling mixtures. Bottles of liquids of various colours, some thick and sticky, others more like coloured water, were lined up on a shelf. There were bags of herbs, newly bought from the market and packets of pills and powders he had got hold of from somewhere. None of it had been any use, and again Sonea felt a pang of sadness for the boy and his desperate efforts to heal his father's wounds.

There was little in the way of food lying around. All of Mikido's efforts had been on trying to find a cure, rather than cooking. Takan made a noise of disgust. For him, good food was an essential part of any cure. A few hunks of bread, a half-wheel of cheese and the remains of a ham was all the food they could find. Mikido had also taken time to wash a few of the linen strips and left them to dry in front of a small fire. Each strip had been carefully torn from a larger piece, edges were straight and each bandage was the same width and length. Each freshly washed strip was scrupulously clean and free from stains.

"Mikido looked after him as best he could," Sonea said quietly. "Did you know Kariko had a son?"

Akkarin shook his head, "I'm not surprised, though. The Ichani want lots of sons to carry on their magic. That's one reason for all the pleasure slaves. More slaves, more sons."

"But Ichani women have magic too," Sonea said.

"True, but the Ichani regard women as second-best, in every respect, not just magic. They believe women are not really capable of the strongest magic, only of the sort to do with making daily life more comfortable. I suppose you could call it domestic magic. The Ichani only regard men as important in their culture, so having many sons means that they are seen as powerful and assured of a high position within the group. Kariko would have been very proud of young Mikido, that's why he brought him along. The boy had strength and one day, would have been a very important magician. Having a powerful magician for a son would help bolster Kariko's position as leader. He may have other sons somewhere, but we will probably never know just how many."

As they worked together removing all traces of the Ichani from the house, Akkarin told her more of the way in which the Ichani lived. Sonea found it all fascinating. Guild novices were taught little of Sachaka and nothing of the Ichani, so it was all very new to her. For once, Akkarin was not reluctant to talk about Sachaka and Sonea was very happy to listen.

"The number of slaves a magician can command is also an important part of their status and having slaves with a lot of magic is even better."

"So you were an important catch, being such a strong magician yourself?" Sonea asked as she glanced up at him. Almost immediately, his expression changed and she could almost literally see the shutters come down.

"Yes," he replied tersely, then went on to change the subject.

She cursed herself for posing a question which was directly linked to Akkarin's own circumstances. Now she would have to wait until the next time he mentioned Sachaka to find out more about his time with the Ichani and that could be months away!

Once he was satisfied the house contained no further signs of the Ichani, Akkarin went to deal with the woman's memories. Afterwards, he rolled her up in several blankets and putting her in Takan's arms, he told him to take her to a nearby square and leave her on one of the benches. She would wake in the morning, and be able to find her way home, not remembering what had happened to her over the past few days.

One last look around then they were ready to leave. The journey back to their accommodation was accomplished in silence. The streets were a little busier now, as it was almost sunrise. They each took care not to meet the eyes of passersby or do anything which might make them conspicuous or easily remembered.

Once safely inside, Takan went off to make an early breakfast. The others went into the main room, where it was only a matter of moments to get a cheerful fire going with the help of a little magic. Sonea sat down gratefully in a fireside chair and rested her feet on the fireguard. During the last part of the walk home, she had been conscious of a feeling of 'wrongness' deep within her and she was reminded of the throbbing pain she'd felt during her attack on the Ichani. For the first time in a long while, she thought of their child. _Had the exchange of strikes with Mikido injured the baby? _Fleetingly she wished for Lorlen so she could ask him to find out, but she ruthlessly pushed that thought away. It was a pointless path to go down. She had decided not to tell Akkarin about the child and had gone to attack the Ichani, knowing she was pregnant and therefore vulnerable. Whatever followed now would be her fault. She would continue to delay telling Akkarin, thus putting off the moment when he would be angry with her again, for as long as possible.

She looked over at him. He was staring into the fire, his chin resting on his hand, his face impassive. She knew he had somewhere in mind for them to go, but she wasn't sure where. She decided not to press him, but to wait until he decided it was time to tell her. Takan was going with them, that she knew, but as for the rest, she would simply have to trust Akkarin.


	45. The Last Goodbye

Disclaimer – I do not own BMT world, it belongs to Trudi Canavan.

**The Last Goodbye**

Sonea stared at the pile of leather bags on the table. There were not as many as she had thought, but Akkarin had explained that the coins given to the people of the city who provided power, as well as the money expended in the search for Kariko, had made a large whole in his resources.

"There's only one bag of gold, one of silver and four, no, five of copper," he said ruefully. "We will have to manage with that until I can find a way to make more money."

_Make more money? _Sonea looked at him in surprise. _What did he intend? Were they going into business? _It had been two days since the Ichani had been destroyed. There had been no outcry, no increase in Guild activity in the city, so it looked as if all their care and preparations had paid off. She and Akkarin had taken the opportunity to rest and regain their magical strength. Takan had gone off to acquire supplies for the kitchen and other things Akkarin required. Soon they would be able to leave.

Sonea looked at the bags of coins and tried to think how much they would need. It didn't help that as a dwell, she had had no money at all and later as a Guild magician, all things had been provided for her, even some money each month to spend on her personal needs. She had absolutely no understanding of what three adults and a child needed to live comfortably.

"How much will we need?" she asked.

Akkarin laughed, "Not much, where we're going, but I like to have something available in case I need to buy information or for any sudden requirements which arise unexpectedly."

"So, where are we going?" Sonea couldn't help sounding a little grumpy. Akkarin had, so far, refused to say and she was getting annoyed with him.

He said nothing for a moment, just looked at her with an amused expression on his face, then said, "I'll tell you when you need to know and not before." His tone was smug and he arched one eyebrow in that annoying way of his. She was almost on the verge of throwing something when she noticed the twinkle in his eye and just knew he was waiting for her explosion. She took a deep breath, then managed a sweet smile, "All right, I'll wait." She was sure a look of disappointment crossed his face and smiled inwardly. She was beginning to learn how to tease him.

Later, he sent her to select clothing. "We can't take everything," he explained. "Pick out warm garments and just enough to provide for a change of clothing."

She sat on the floor with all the clothing from Akkarin's chest spread out in front of her. She had found two pairs of loose trousers in a thick, heavy material, some long woollen socks and two shirts. Now she was unable to make up her mind between four jerkins and three cloaks. She sighed. _If only someone would sort it all out and we could be on our way_. Despite two days of rest, she was feeling tired and irritable. Everything seemed to have slowed down after the frantic action of the past few days and weeks. Time dragged and she was finding it almost painful. She was impatient to be gone.

Akkarin had gone out, again without saying where. Takan had gone with him, so she was alone in the house. She got up suddenly, kicking at the pile of jerkins in front of her. Why should she have to worry about which one to take? She sat down on the bed and stared at the mess on the floor. It would have to be cleared up. There was no Guild servant here to tidy up after her. She sighed again. Despite her impatience to be on her way, she had to face facts, she was worried about how it would all turn out.

All the uncertainties she had previously about her future relationship with Akkarin had come back with a vengeance. In the wastelands, there had always been the thought of finishing off the Ichani and saving the Guild, something definite in the near future to plan for, some action to carry out. She had been able to concentrate on that when her worries about Akkarin became too strong. Now, that was all finished and she was face-to-face with the reality of living with him somewhere, with only Takan for company and nothing, apart from daily life, to occupy her. Somehow, when she'd really thought about it before, she had assumed that the Guild would have welcomed them back, not exactly with open arms, but perhaps enough for them to have lived in a Magician's Community somewhere in Kyralia, still part of the Guild, with their actions recognised for what they were, the defence of the Guild, not its destruction.

She had no illusions about that now! There would only be the two of them at first, well, three if you counted Takan, then a few months later, the child. She didn't know how Akkarin would feel about that. He would be angry with her for keeping it a secret, that was plain. But how would he feel about being a father? _I still don't know him_, she thought, _And I'm beginning to think I never will! _

_Well, my girl, you've made your bed and now you must lie in it!_ Sonea smiled as she remembered the exact expression on her aunt's face when she used one of her favourite sayings. "I have certainly made my bed and now I must get on with the rest of it!"

She stood up and walked over to the pile on the floor. She quickly picked out two jerkins and a thick cloak. She bundled the rest back in the chest. What would happen to the rest of the clothing, she didn't know and at that moment, didn't really care. She slammed down the lid and picked up her chosen garments and dumped them on the bed. She already had her hat and a pair of good stout boots, so she supposed that she was kitted out.

She noticed, for the first time, a neat pile of clothing on a nearby chest. Akkarin had already picked his out it seemed, and she wondered when he'd taken the time to do it. She quickly folded her choices, so that her pile matched Akkarin's and left them side-by-side. She heard a door slam downstairs. They were back.

Later, over supper, Akkarin told her they would leave the next day, very early in the morning. "I want to make a lot of progress quickly, so make sure that everything you are taking is ready tonight, so we can get away as soon as possible."

After that, things passed in rather a blur for Sonea when she thought about them later. Takan produced his usual tasty meal and she remembered sitting in front of the fire for an hour or so. Later, in the shared warmth of their bed, she clung to Akkarin, resting her head on his chest so she could hear the reassuring sound of his steady heartbeat, and feel the strength of his arms around her. His lovemaking had been particularly tender, as if he sensed her uncertainties, and she was grateful for his care. She wished she could tell him about the child. _Surely now is an ideal time_, she thought after a lingering loving kiss, but she couldn't find the right words. She was afraid to destroy the mood of the moment and she didn't want to journey with a furious Akkarin, again. _No, I will wait for as long as I can_, she thought sleepily, although the small changes she had already noticed in her body meant that 'long' wouldn't be as long a time as she would have wished. Akkarin would notice soon, she was sure of it.

The next morning, after an early breakfast, they shut the door behind them for the last time and walked through the streets until they reached a run-down stable. There, she found that Takan had organised four shaggy horses, one for each of them and a packhorse which was already loaded with their belongings. As soon as she saw the horses, Sonea's heart sank. She had only had two real experiences with the flighty animals, once when they were exiled and once on their return. Neither had been a pleasant experience.

"Don't worry," Akkarin murmured, "These are steady beasts, sure-footed and willing. They won't be difficult."

Sonea wasn't certain she believed him, but there was no help for it, she had to clamber on the back of a horse again, her muscles already groaning in anticipation, and trust to luck not to fall off. Once they were all mounted, Takan took the reins of the packhorse, and they formed a line, Akkarin at the head and Takan at the rear, with Sonea in the middle. The streets weren't crowded for which she was very grateful, so it didn't take them long to reach the North Gate. A few minutes while their passes were checked, then they were out of the city.

Akkarin set a reasonable pace, not too fast to make her uncomfortable, yet quick enough to put Imardin behind them relatively soon. Sonea recognised the route they were taking, and wondered if it was Akkarin's plan to return to the wastelands. She made a fervent plea to the Eye of Heaven that it wasn't so.

By the time they had reached Coldbridge, she had done a good job of convincing herself that they were heading back to Sachaka and it was eating away at her. They stopped at an inn, close to the edge of the settlement, for refreshments and Sonea could contain herself no longer, "Where are we going?" she demanded. "I give in, just tell me for the love of the Eye!"

Akkarin smiled at her impatient tone, "Well, I suppose I can reveal it now! We are going up into the Steelbelt Ranges. There's a place I know where we will be able to settle. It will take a bit of work to make it comfortable, but it will provide a home."

"Why couldn't you have told me before?" Sonea said in exasperation. "It's not as if it's a state secret!"

"You know why," he replied sternly, "Keeping secrets is not one of your strong points. I didn't want you leaving little messages for some of your friends, so they might come for a visit."

The hot colour flooded her face. What he said was true, she had broken her word on a number of occasions and perhaps she would have left a note for Lorlen. She would never know now, but she had to admit it was possible. She buried her face in her mug of tea and waited for the blush to subside.

"Thank you for telling me," she said as soon as she could look at him without flushing further. "I do understand."

Leaving Coldbridge behind, they started out across country. The land was beginning to rise in a series of small hills and they could already see the faint shape of the mountains in the far distance, barely showing above the horizon. As they reached the top of a short but steep climb, Akkarin drew reign and as Takan and Sonea caught up with him, he turned in the saddle and pointed back the way they'd come, "If you look down the hill, a little over to the right, you can just see a smudge on the horizon. That's our last glimpse of Imardin."

Takan barely gave it a glance. His whole world was Akkarin and where he was, that was where Takan called home. Imardin, or the Steelbelt Ranges, it was all the same to him. But for Sonea, there was a painful tug at her heart. She was a child of Imardin. It had been home to her for all of her life. Even after being exiled and put over the border into a strange, desolate land, she had been sure she would return. Now, though, that certainty no longer existed. For better or for worse, her life was now bound up with Akkarin and the plans he had for their future. She was now like Takan, where Akkarin was, that was her home.

She turned away from that distant smudge and smiled at Akkarin, "Shall we move on? We've a long way to go before we reach home."

**This is the end of my story, 'Exile'. I hope you have enjoyed it.**

**The sequel will be started shortly and I hope you will continue reading to find out how Sonea and Akkarin coped in their new home and what happened when Akkarin found out he was to be a father!**


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